HisMarriageBargain (25 page)

She blew out a breath and blinked back the tears. “Did you
rehearse that?”

“Maybe a little bit. I’m sorry, Sunshine. I knew I was
wrong, and I’m sorry I hurt you. What my mother did was—”

“What your mother did was wrong and disgusting. I have no
idea what she gave Cathy. I don’t want to see that woman for a very long time.
I’m serious about this, Sammi.” The mere thought of his mother made her blood
boil.

In order for Cathy to be that lucid, that compliant, Tamara
had to have dosed her with something. Whatever it was had worn off before they
could get her back to the center and she’d been a screaming, crying wreck.

“I can’t argue that what she did was wrong, but she’s my mom.”

“And that’s fine, for you. But I want nothing to do with her
if we’re staying together.”

“If? Hold up. If we’re staying together?” Sammi’s eyes grew
large, his voice rising.

“I don’t know. How do you feel about being married to a
stripper?” She put her hands on her hips and glared at him, daring him to hold
her past against her.

“You aren’t a stripper anymore. Whatever you did, whatever
you had to do, that’s in the past. It made you who you are, and I’m still
married to the person you are.”

God, he was going to make her heart go all melty. She sucked
in a deep breath and her lungs shuddered, turning it into a sob. She swiped at
her cheeks and found them damp with tears. “Fuck, I’m crying again.”

“Oh babe.” Sammi took advantage of her moment of vulnerability
and wrapped her in his arms, tucking her head under his chin and hugging her
tight.

Fuck him and his bullet list of apology items.

She didn’t want to let go of the anger so fast.

But it was gone, and exhaustion weighed on her.

Sammi smoothed her hair away from her face and kissed her
brow. He swayed gently back and forth while her tears were soaked up by his
t-shirt. She hugged him back and let it all go. Her anger, the hurt, all the
tension she’d been holding on to since Friday. She could stay upset and be
justified, or she could move on.

“Come on, let’s sit down,” he murmured into her hair.

She let him guide her to the sofa. They sank into the
cushions and she curled up against his side, letting him comfort her.

“I’m still sorry.” Sammi stroked her hair, lulling her into
a more relaxed state.

“I know. Thank you.”

He swiped his finger over the necklace. “Where’d you get
this?”

“Ester gave it to me.”

“Ester? As in Isaac’s wife Ester?”

Autumn sat up, curling one leg under her and facing her
husband. “Yeah, I’ve kinda been staying with them.”

Sammi gaped at her, jaw slack, brows lifted. “What? I talked
to that jackass yesterday.”

“Yeah, I was kind of in the car.”

“You aren’t serious.”

“Afraid so. I wasn’t ready to talk to you. We’d literally
just pulled out of the rehab place and I hadn’t even begun to think about you.
Sorry about that.”

Sammi shook his head. “You know what? I deserved that, but
if something happens again, can you please at least tell me where you’re going?
I’ve been really worried about you and your mother.”

“I can’t promise that I’ll remember. I get emotional and
just act sometimes.” Emotion and rationality were water and oil to her.

“I know. So did they treat you well?”

“Fantastic. Isaac really argued for Cathy to get back in the
center. They didn’t want to let her back in, but he worked on them for a few
hours. I can’t say thank you enough to them. They’re really amazing people.”

“Yeah, they’re some of the good ones.” He lifted her hands
to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

“You don’t look so good,” she dared to say.

“Haven’t been sleeping well and I was worried.”

“Yeah, but how are you feeling?” She bit her lip. Any
mention of his health made her nervous.

“I’ve felt better. So what do you say? Are you coming home
with me? Or do I need to beg?”

“No begging.”

Autumn looped her arms around his neck and pressed a quick
kiss to his lips. They were going to be okay.

This time.

* * * * *

Sammi followed Autumn into their house, his palms still
damp. She’d said they were okay, but it was as if someone had turned down the
dimmer on her and he didn’t know how to amp her back up.

“Are you hungry? Need anything?” he asked as they entered
the den.

“Oh, I can’t eat for a week. Every time I popped out of the
guest room Ester wanted me to eat something else.” She flopped on the couch and
curled her legs up under her.

“It’s a Jewish trait, for sure. Every wife, mother, aunt,
grandmother, you name it, and if she’s a Jewish woman she’ll try to make sure
you get fed.” Sammi sat on the other end of the sofa and studied her. It
soothed something deep inside him to have her back under this roof. Sleeping
here without her had been an exercise in futility.

They watched each other for several moments. How did they
begin again? What was the correct next step?

He couldn’t cut his mother out of his life. That was asking
too much, but maybe it was time to set boundaries with her. He reached out and
linked his fingers with Autumn’s.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi.”

“What have you been up to the last few days?”

“Not enough. Transitioned some responsibility to my
employees. They think it’s temporary, but I’m feeling them out for how to
organize stuff without me.” It was earlier than he’d intended to make this
move, but he’d been worried about her and unable to do much. “What about you?”

Autumn shrugged. “Most of it was watching Cathy until last
night.”

Sammi studied her for a moment. “I had an idea.”

“And that would be?” She tilted her head to the side.

Sammi rolled the thought around a few more times before
speaking it. “What if you did a color tattoo for me?”

Her brows rose. “You? Color?”

“Yeah, why not?” He lifted a shoulder, liking the idea more
as time passed.

Autumn perked up, leaning toward him and twirling a piece of
hair around her finger. “What would you want?”

“I don’t know. Surprise me.” She had a good eye, knew him.
Trusting her with this would make him nervous, but what the hell?

Autumn bit her lip and a little spark of brilliance shot
back into her eyes. “When?”

“Whenever you want to.”

“I have some stuff here, but most of it’s at the shop. I
could do it tomorrow if you want.” She started to bob her foot hanging off the
couch.

“That sounds good to me.” He smiled and pulled her hand to
his lips, pressing a kiss to each knuckle.

Autumn grinned at him and the world felt right again.
Without her smile, her radiant joy, things just weren’t the same.

“How about a nap now and I can sketch later?” Autumn
suggested.

“That sounds like a damn good suggestion.” Now that he had
her back, the lack of sleep was catching up to him.

They retreated to the bedroom and stripped down to what they
slept in before crawling in. Autumn curled up against his side, her head
pillowed on his shoulder and arm across his stomach.

“Just so you know, I did read the file.” Sammi twirled a
lock of her hair around his finger. He didn’t want to keep the truth from her,
though it wouldn’t be a topic they revisited again. “I had to know if what Mom
told me was real or if she was making it up.”

Autumn sighed but she didn’t jump out of bed. “I spent so
long burying that life that bringing it up makes me all panicky, but it’s not
that big of a deal anymore, I guess. Not if you know about it.”

“Would you have told me?”

She was quiet for a moment. “It hadn’t occurred to me to
tell you, but depending how long we are together, I probably would have
eventually. I’m not great with secrets.”

“Fair enough.” Basically, what was the point in rocking the
boat when he’d kick the bucket before it became an issue?

“You aren’t mad?”

“It happened a long time ago.”

“Not that long ago. What? Like ten for you?” While he was
thirty-three, Autumn was twenty-nine. Not that big a difference, but her teen
years were that much closer.

“Shit. It’s been more than ten years. I need to get my boobs
redone, for real.”

“Wait—what?”

“My boobs.” She tipped her chin up so she could look him in
the face. “I got them done when I was seventeen because the club owner told the
surgeon he was my dad. Boob jobs don’t last forever.”

“I kind of like them.”

“You would, you’re a dude.”

“What would you change about them?”

“Make them even, maybe a little smaller. I kind of like them
big, but sometimes I feel like they’re too big, ya know?”

Sammi rolled them so she was on her back and he could
properly inspect her breasts. He pushed her shirt up and palmed one, then the
other. “I think they’re pretty fantastic.”

Autumn laughed and her breasts jiggled. As arousing as she
was, half-naked and smiling, he was too tired, too worn out to act on it. Sammi
drew her shirt down and pulled her back against his chest.

Tomorrow he’d fuck her lights out but today he just wanted
to hold her and know she was there.

Pointillism—Tattoos created by dots of pure color
arranged to form a larger image.

Autumn gathered her courage around her like a coat and pushed
through the back door of the So Inked shop. Music played over the stereo, quiet
still since the shop wasn’t technically open.

Pandora and Carly glanced up from where they had their heads
together at the front desk.

“Hey, guys.” Autumn smiled and set her bag down at her
station.

“Hey.” Pandora glanced at the front doors.

“Where have you been?” Carly pivoted her chair on one wheel
to face her, worry creasing her face.

“It’s a long story.” Autumn glanced at the figure moving
along the front windows.

Mary grasped the front door and pulled it open. The moment
she stepped over the threshold her gaze landed on Autumn.

“Hi, Mary.” Inside Autumn quaked. This wasn’t going to end
well. She didn’t need anyone to tell her that.

“Office,” Mary barked.

Autumn didn’t know if she wanted to be alone with Mary or if
she’d prefer the whole embarrassing tableau played out in front of her friends.
But it wasn’t up to her. She preceded Mary into the office and sat on the
couch, feeling as if she were a student in the principal’s office. Mary slammed
the door shut behind her and paced the width of the room, not speaking a word.

Autumn felt guilty for not being as in touch with the girls
over the last few weeks. Mary in particular seemed to be having a rough time,
but she never confided in anyone except Kellie.

Mary wheeled to face Autumn, her full, swing-style skirts
swishing around her knees. Her dark gaze held no pity. “You’re fired. We can’t
do this anymore. Pack your things and leave.”

Fired?

Autumn gaped at her boss and friend. She’d known she was on
thin ice, but firing her? Really?

“Mary, please. I can explain.” There was a good reason, not
something bogus and stupid. Autumn shoved to her feet.

Mary crossed her arms and shook her head. “No. I’m not doing
this anymore. You don’t show up. You’re unreliable. I’ve had enough.”

“Please. You don’t understand—”

“Because you never call in. You just leave and flounce back
in here expecting us to all take you back, make your appointments reschedule.”
Mary yelled—actually raised her voice—and used whole sentences. Autumn gaped at
her. Mary sucked in a deep breath and hugged herself. “No more. I’m not going
to tell you again. You’re fired. If you’re not off the premises in fifteen
minutes, I’m calling the cops.”

Mary was serious. Fucking serious.

Weren’t friends supposed to have your back?

Didn’t the years of being there for Mary and Sam matter at
all?

She’d practically helped raise Sam, and this was how she was
treated when her life got really bad?

“Fine. You want me gone? I’m leaving. Fuck you.” Autumn
stormed out of the office and kept her head down.

She unlocked the rolling cabinets and started dumping things
into her purse. There were plastic bags in one drawer and she filled those,
stuffing them with anything and everything she could grab until all that was
left was a roll of paper towels and some trash she’d stuffed behind her
machines.

“Want me to give you a hand?” Pandora asked from the other
side of her table. Carly sat next to her, eyes large and round. Little wisps of
hair floated away from her face and she chewed her bottom lip.

Autumn swiped at her cheeks.

She was crying?

Again?

Fuck all this crying bullshit. Autumn was done with it. Her
initial reaction was to tell Pandora to go fuck herself, but none of this was
Pandora’s fault. Autumn was the orchestrator of her life. Not Pandora or Mary.

“Sure. Thanks.” Autumn handed two of the plastic bags over
to her.

“Don’t forget your pictures.” Carly pointed at the framed
snapshots hanging over her station.

The painted canvas she’d leave, but the pictures she’d take.
Most of them featured some combination of the five women, and while she
wouldn’t want to look at them for a while, Autumn didn’t want to leave them
either.

They were her friends.

The family she’d chosen for the last couple of years.

Autumn stared at the grinning faces. One of the pictures
dated back to a few weeks after Pandora had joined them. Hell, she’d still had
dark bruises on her face from her fucktard ex-fiancé, but she’d rebounded fast.
Autumn was between Pandora and Kellie, with Mary on the end. They’d all worn
the first batch of So Inked shirts. Together they’d created something amazing,
and her chapter here was closing.

She grabbed a tissue and daubed her eyes and nose.

“Come on, we should get you out of here before Mary comes
out.” Pandora picked up another bag. “Kellie comes back Monday. She’ll talk
some sense into Mary.”

Autumn nodded and gathered the last of her things. The truth
of it was she couldn’t argue with Mary’s assessment of her performance. Autumn
knew it was subpar, but what could she do? There was only so much she could
handle right now.

The trio made their way out the back of the shop into the
toasty Texas morning, the sun stabbing daggers into her eyes. Her sunglasses
were under all her equipment in her purse. She was able to dig out her keys and
loaded the backseat full of her belongings.

“What happened?” Carly asked, breaking the silence.

Autumn closed the door and leaned against the car. “Mary
fired me.”

“Yeah, but where were you?” Carly didn’t act surprised by
Mary’s verdict on Autumn’s employment, but then again, this decision had
probably been unfolding the entire time she was gone.

Autumn quickly brought them up to date on the ongoing family
drama, CliffsNotes version. Both women had nearly identical expressions of
slack-jawed shock.

“That’s crazy,” Pandora said, shaking her head.

“I can’t believe that’s what’s been going on.” Carly slumped
in her chair and pushed a hand through her hair.

“You should have called us. We’re your friends. We’re here
for you.” Pandora’s fierceness warmed Autumn’s heart.

“Yeah, and bring my mother into your lives? No thanks. Plus,
Kellie would kill me if that happened.”

“Kellie’s our boss and our friend, not our mother,” Pandora
retorted. She closed the distance and gave Autumn a quick hug. “Please, call me
next time? Even if I can’t help, I want to be there for you. We’re going to
figure this out. Mary will cool down. Kellie will talk sense into her.”

In the moment Autumn wasn’t sure she wanted to come back to
So Inked, but in her heart she knew a piece of her would always belong here.

“And I’ll apologize out the ass.” Autumn sighed, not as
convinced about the happy ending Pandora predicted.

“We need to get inside.” Carly glanced at her phone.

“Yeah, you don’t want Mary to fire you too.” Autumn hugged
Carly’s shoulders and blew out a breath. “Thanks, guys. I’ll be okay.”

Autumn didn’t know if she believed it, but her friends
needed to hear it. Between Sammi, her mother and now her jobless status, things
were stacking up against her, and she didn’t know if she was strong enough for
this.

* * * * *

“Mom, I’m not coming over today,” Sammi said for the tenth
time since answering the phone. He ground his teeth and stared at his house.
Autumn’s car was in the driveway. He hadn’t expected her to be home so early.

“We always have lunch together. What is the meaning of this
nonsense?” He could picture her tilting her chin up in that haughty manner she
got when she didn’t like an answer. It had surprisingly little effect on him.

“Because I’m not ready to forgive you for what you did to
Autumn.”

“She is a Jezebel, Samuel. That woman is evil,” she spat,
showing an uncharacteristic break in her serenity.

“Autumn is my wife, and you’re going to have to get used to
that because it’s not changing.”

“What will everyone think of her? Consider that. She is not
an appropriate bride. You met her mother. She’s not from good stock.” Her
accent, which normally only flavored the occasional word, rose to texture her
speech.

What was it about Autumn that made her so angry?

“I don’t care. I’m not going to argue this with you and I’m
not coming over for lunch or dinner.” He’d seen his mother almost every day
since his father passed away with the exception of his elopement and the
occasional business trip. His sudden change of habit was probably unsettling
for her, but this shit had to stop.

“Samuel, you’re leaving your mother alone?” She gasped and
though he knew she was manipulating him, he couldn’t cut her out of his life.

Sammi gritted his teeth. Part of him wanted to leave her to
her own devices, but he was all she had.

“Tomorrow. But we aren’t discussing or mentioning Autumn.
I’m serious.”

“I’ll get Chef to make your favorites.”

“See you tomorrow.” He regretted agreeing to see her the
moment the words left his mouth, but it was too late now.

Sammi hug up the call and scrubbed his face. He’d worry
about his mother later. The prospect of a relaxing evening at home was
appealing for the first time in his life. Before he’d suspected his reoccurring
illness, Sammi had spent all of his non-work hours at restaurants, parties and
clubs. There was something empty about the idea of going out now.

He gathered his things and headed inside the house, where he
was greeted with the sounds of loud, female-led music. There was a pile of bags
to the right in the formal living room, most of which looked tattoo-related.
Bottles of ink, a box of gloves and ointment.

“Autumn?” he called as he proceeded into the kitchen.

Autumn spun around from where she was in the process of
pulling what appeared to be cookies from the oven. “You’re home.”

“I am.”

She kicked the oven door and it popped up with a
clang
.

“What are you doing home early?” He set his things down on
the floor since most of the counter space was taken up with ingredients, plates
of cookies and the general mess of baking.

Autumn placed the sheet down on a stack of dishtowels and
braced her hands on the edge of the island. “I got fired.”

Sammi stared at her, the words not quite processing.

“Mary was pissed I’d missed more work, so she canned me. I
cleaned out my station this morning and here I am.” Her voice was pained and
she couldn’t seem to look at him, her gaze everywhere but him.

If there was one experience he’d never had it was being
fired. Since he’d gone to work for his father in his teens, he’d had a job.
Considering her circumstances, he couldn’t imagine the sense of confusion, loss
and anger she must be feeling. So Inked was more than a job for her.

“Come here.” He shuffled around the counter, opening his
arms.

Autumn didn’t come to him. She kept her arms crossed and her
gaze on the tile floor, so he went to her. He couldn’t argue with her boss’s
decision. When he’d gone by the shop he’d wondered how this would turn out.

“Do you have more to bake?”

“Not without going to the store,” she mumbled.

“Why don’t we grab a plate of cookies and watch a movie or
something?”

“I guess.”

Two hours and a comedy later, Autumn had relaxed enough to
lay her head in his lap. She’d polished off almost an entire plate of cookies
on her own. Sammi had nibbled on all of one. He didn’t think his stomach could
handle something so rich. The last few days he’d subsisted on noodles, broth
and crackers.

His health was failing.

It was the nicer way of saying he was dying.

“You know, maybe this will work out,” he mused aloud.

“What do you mean?” Autumn rolled to her back and studied
him, her head pillowed on his thigh.

“You getting fired. What if I take off more time and we do
stuff? I’ve always wanted to sky dive. Maybe drive a race car. What if we used
this time to do stuff we’ll never get to again?”

“Like a bucket list or something?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean.” He rolled the idea
around and found he liked it.

“Do you have one?”

“A bucket list?”

“Yeah.”

“No. Do you?”

“Kind of. Just a list of things I want to do someday.”
Autumn sat up and pushed to her feet. “Let’s make one.”

Sammi took her hand and they made their way into the never
used office space. Furniture and a box of supplies had been put in here, but it
still had a showroom-like feel.

They sat in the two guest chairs and rummaged around in the
office supply box until they came up with a pen and paper. Autumn took charge
of those, a flicker of mischief in her eyes.

“First two. Skydive. Drive race car.” She wrote as she
spoke. “What else?”

Now that it came time to put pen to paper, Sammi was drawing
a blank. What did he want to do?

“Get a color tattoo.” Autumn grinned as she wrote it.

Sammi laughed. “Okay. Got a design in mind?”

“Actually, yeah. I sketched something yesterday.” Her hand
fluttered to her neck, where she still wore the Star of David. “Okay, so what
about stuff you’ve seen in the movies? Or always wanted to do?”

“Ride a bull.”

She stared at him, not a hint of amusement on her face.

“Fine. Not a good idea. How about ride a horse?”

“That’s more like it. Let’s leave off the potentially
life-threatening things. There’s enough going on in that category without
asking for bad news.” She scrawled another line. “Anything you want to see?”

“Holocaust Museum in DC. The pictures alone are, well,
they’re tough to look at. I think I’d like to make a trip there. See some of
the sights.” While Sammy wouldn’t consider himself a devout person to his
faith, the Holocaust had changed his ancestors’ lives.

“What about other spiritual stuff? Anywhere you want to go
or see or do?”