God Is Not Mad at You: You Can Experience Real Love, Acceptance & Guilt-free Living

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One day I put a post on Facebook that simply said, “God’s not mad at you,” and the response we received at the ministry was overwhelming. In just a few hours, thousands of people responded favorably. Many of them said, “That is exactly what I needed to hear today.” They obviously were people who were afraid that God was mad at them and desperately needed to be assured that He wasn’t.

Through my own experience in my relationship with God, and through ministering to other people, I have come to believe that a large percentage of people, either vaguely or perhaps even clearly, believe that God is mad at them. This belief prevents us from receiving His love, mercy, grace and forgiveness. It leaves us fearful, lacking confidence and feeling guilty. Even though we may ask for God’s forgiveness for our sins and failures, we often still feel that God is disappointed and angry because we are less than He wants and expects us to be.

Where does this concept of God come from? Perhaps from an angry parent who was difficult to please. Or the pain of rejection from parents or friends who did not know how to give unconditional love. Perhaps it came from church! From religious teaching that offered us rules and regulations to follow, and implied that we would be unacceptable to God if we did not follow them. We wanted to be good, we tried to be good, but when we discovered—as everyone does—that we constantly fail, we silently accepted the message that we were a major
disappointment to God, deserving of His anger. We did however, continue to try to change and behave better because we love God, and we definitely don’t want Him to be angry with us.

In this condition we are faced with a lifetime of disappointment because anyone who attempts to serve God under the law (rules and regulations) is doomed to disappointment according to the apostle Paul:

In our relationships with our parents or other people, we may have had to perform in a certain way in order to earn their love, but God’s love is unconditional, and is freely offered to all who will receive it by faith.

You will learn in this book that although God does get angry at sin, wickedness and evil, He is not an angry God. God hates sin, but He loves sinners! He is “good, and ready to forgive [our trespasses, sending them away, letting them go completely and forever].” He is abundant in mercy and filled with loving-kindness (Psalm 86:5). Let me be clear: God does not and never will approve of sin, but He does love sinners and will continue to work with us toward positive change in our lives. God never stops loving us for even one second of our lives, and it is because of His great love that He refuses to leave us alone, lost and abandoned in sin. He meets us where we are and helps us get to where we need to be.

The Bible is a record of sin, deceit, immorality of every kind, disobedience, hypocrisy and God’s amazing grace and love. The heroes we admire were people just like us. They failed miserably at times,
they sinned regularly, and yet they found love, acceptance, forgiveness and mercy to be the free gifts of God. His love drew them into intimate relationship with Him, empowered them to do great things, and taught them to enjoy the life that He has provided.

Since they experienced that acceptance, I believe we can experience it, too, if we will make a decision to believe what God’s Word says to us instead of what we think, feel or hear from others. We should make sure that our beliefs are in agreement with God’s Word, and not merely a fabrication of misled thinking. One might believe that God does not love him and is angry with him, but that is not what God’s Word says; therefore, the wrong thinking should be rejected as a counterfeit, and what God says should be accepted by faith without question. God has given us His Word that we might always have the truth available to us. It is impossible for us to live a life of deception if we make God’s Word our source of all truth and believe it above all else.

You may think, “There is absolutely no reason for God to love me,” and you are absolutely right. But God does love you. He chooses to do so, and because He is God, He has every right to do so. The Bible says that He planned to love us and to adopt us as His own children because it was His will, it pleased Him, and was His kind intent (Ephesians 1:5). God loves us because He wants to, not because we deserve it. I would like to suggest that you stop reading for a few minutes and repeat out loud several times, “God loves me because He wants to, not because I deserve it.” Each time you say it, take a moment and let it sink into your consciousness. Being conscious and aware of God’s love is the beginning of all healing and restoration. It is the source of all righteousness, peace and joy. We should learn to be God-conscious instead of sin-conscious. Focus on God’s goodness instead of our failures. Focusing on our weaknesses only gives them more strength and power over us.

To live in the reality that God is not mad at us is the most freeing truth that we will ever find. Knowing that we will sin, probably every day, and that God knows that and has already decided to forgive us eliminates the fear of failure. The beautiful truth is that when we no longer focus on our sin, we find that we do it less and less. As we focus on God’s goodness instead of being afraid of our weaknesses, we become more and more like Jesus. God, in Christ, has totally taken care of the problem of sin. To be sure, God commands us not to sin, but He knew that we would due to the weakness of our flesh, so He took care of the problem by sending us His Son Jesus as the sacrifice and payment for our sins. Jesus paid for everything that we have done or ever will do wrong, and He opened up a new way for us to live and serve God. Not in fear or guilt, but in freedom, love and intimacy.

God is determined to have intimate relationship with each of us, and the only way He can do that is if He extends grace, mercy and forgiveness to us continually. The only way we can have that relationship with Him is if we learn to continually receive His grace, forgiveness and mercy.

In case you are wondering, you have not already received too much mercy in your life. There is still an abundant amount available to you, and there will be as long as you live. God’s mercy is new every day! It is a gift and can only be enjoyed if it is received freely.

As you read this book, I pray that you will receive God’s grace, favor, love, mercy, forgiveness and the glorious truth that God’s not mad at you! May you live boldly and be all God intends you to be, and live in the fullness of the joy and beauty that you were created for. Form the habit of meditating on and confessing this truth: “God is not mad at me.”

A woman I know tells a story about the time she burnt out the engine of her father’s car, which he had loaned her when she was in college. It was the end of semester break, and she was going to head back to school on the bus, a seven-hour ride with a lot of stops on the way. Ellen had been given a lot of Christmas gifts that were bulky, including a down-filled comforter and a new desktop computer. Her dad told her that rather than deal with so many big items on the bus, she could drive his car back to school and return it the next time she came home for a visit. What a gift!

The trip back to college was a breeze. Ellen parked the car in a safe spot and planned to drive home and return it within a few weeks. In the meantime, every now and then she’d drive to the grocery store or the mall. Pretty soon, she was taking her friends on short trips here and there just for fun.

On one of those trips, Ellen noticed a red light blinking on the dashboard. She didn’t think it was anything serious; after all, her
father took great care of the car and it was in good condition. She just kept driving.

Soon she noticed some smoke coming out of the hood and decided she’d better get the car back to campus. Next came a few loud sputters, and then the engine died. When the tow-truck driver arrived, it didn’t take him long to figure out the problem: That red light on the dash was an oil indicator. Ellen had neglected to check out the light, and now the engine was beyond repair.

A few days later, when her father arrived (in his remaining car) and she met him at the gas station where the car had been towed, Ellen was terrified. She had abused a privilege and ignored a simple warning. There was no excuse for her neglect, and now she’d destroyed her father’s car. She knew he was furious, and there was no defense for her behavior. Ellen told her father how sorry she was for her carelessness, but he just told her to sit in the car while he assessed the damage.

After learning that the car was now worthless, Ellen’s father arranged for the gas station to dispose of it. He actually had to pay them to take it off his hands! Now it was time for Ellen to face his wrath.

As they drove away from the trashed car, her father asked Ellen, “Where’s the best restaurant in town?” That was the last thing she’d expected to hear, but she directed him to it. As they sat at the table and looked at the menu, Ellen couldn’t think about food. Fortunately, her father ordered for both of them: broiled trout almondine. They sat in silence while they waited for their food, every minute feeling like an hour.

When the trout arrived, Ellen’s father said to her, “Tonight I want to teach you a lesson that you’ll never forget.” She knew she deserved whatever she got. Would he make her pay him for the
car? That would take forever. Would he yell at her? Maybe he would just tell her how disappointed he was in her. In some ways, that would be the worst punishment.

Then he took his knife and fork in hand and said, “I’m going to teach you how to remove the skeleton from cooked trout.” Not a word was said about the car that night—or ever again.

Ellen’s father had been angry about her behavior—who wouldn’t be? But he also knew that Ellen had learned her lesson without retribution from him. Ellen is nearly sixty now, and her father died many years ago. But she tells this story as if it happened last week, and she is still in awe of her father’s forgiveness. His grace made a greater impact on her than his punishment ever would have.

God’s Word says that He behaves the same way toward us that Ellen’s father did toward her.