HIM (15 page)

I stopped.  The thought of sleeping in my own warm bed seemed so appealing.  It was beginning to get a little too cold for my liking due to the now-blowing wind.  But how could I reside in a house with a crazy person?

“Avalon,
please
.”

I shrugged my shoulders and turned around to look at him through the rain.  He was drenched.  His t-shirt was sticking to his muscular chest and arms.  His hair was disheveled; and even through the darkness and the rain, he managed to look sexy.  Although I thought he was insane, I still found him too handsome for words.  And he wanted me - me, of all people -to be safe and sound.

“Fine,” I muttered.  “Where are you parked?”

If I hadn’t been mistaken, I could have sworn, as I passed him, Jensen smirked at me.

After we got out the newly renovated vehicle, I went to my room without so much as a
goodnight
to Jensen.  I changed into my pajamas, then took a seat on my plush bed.  I could hear Jensen clanging a few pots and pans in the kitchen.  If I had to guess, I’d say he was making dinner . . . for the two of us.

I knew in my heart that Jensen wouldn’t give up on trying to get me to believe he was an angel.  Even though I desperately wished he’d never told me in the first place.  I didn’t need to be thinking about this right now.  I was in the middle of trying to heal my own wounded soul after what happened last summer.

A few moments passed when I heard a knock at my door.  “Avalon?” Jensen called.

“Yes?” I answered back, stiff; startled he’d knocked.

“May I come in?”  I could see his shadow from underneath the door.

“Um, I’d rather you didn’t.  I’m about to go to sleep,” I lied.

“Okay,” he sighed.  “If you’d like to talk or anything, I’ll be in the kitchen preparing dinner.”  As soon as he said
dinner
, my stomach growled wildly.  The only thing I’d had to eat all day were three bites of a bagel; and that was hours ago.

I stared at my stomach, then back at the door.  Jensen was still standing there.  I sighed heavily and reluctantly got off the bed to open the door.  He looked at me with amusement.

“You hungry?”

“Oh hush,” I said smugly.  I pushed past him to head for the kitchen.  A large pot was boiling water on the stove.  The oven was on as well.

“I’m making a dish my mother used to make for my family,” Jensen told me.

“Oh really?  What is it?”

“You’ll see.”  He smiled, then looked away from me.  He took a seat at the kitchen table and folded his hands, making a loud clapping noise.  I stood there, motionless.  “Would you like to sit?”  He nodded to the chair across from him.

I bit my lip and said, “I guess so.”  With that, I sat down.

“How was your run earlier?” he asked.

“It was enjoyable,” I said.  “Thanks for asking.”

“No problem.”

Is he really going to make small talk?

“I asked you not to follow me,” I said blankly.

“I didn’t,” he confessed.

“You didn’t?”

“No.”

“I could’ve sworn I felt you near me.”

“Nope,” he said.  “I gave you your space, like you asked.  It wasn’t until later that I came looking for you in my car.”

“So…you came looking for me while you were driving your car.”

“Correct.”

“And then you came back here to get my sweater and umbrella once you knew it would start raining?”

“Yes.”

“In your car?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I blinked there.  Much quicker.”

So he’s bringing up the angel situation again.  Great.

“I see,” I muttered.

“Avalon, do you not like me anymore?”

I gasped slightly.  His accusation caused me pain.  “Of course I still like you.”

“Then why are you looking at me like I’m insane?”

I shrugged and took a deep breath.  “I’m only trying to understand why you want me to believe all of this.”

“You know why I want you to,” he exclaimed.  “It’s the truth.”

“It’s not,” I argued.

“Okay, if it isn't, how do you explain me getting us out of the car before it crashed, and then retrieving it before anyone else on the road could have been hurt?  Or last night when I was suddenly by your left side when I had been sitting next to you on the couch on your right just a moment earlier?  Or simply showing you my damaged vehicle?  Or how I always know to be near you when something goes wrong?  Or how the car is now fixed without a dent on it?  Those aren’t weird coincidences or fabricated mirages.  Those were real things.  If you can’t admit to yourself that those things really happened, then
you
are the insane one.”

My mouth dropped open.  “I’m insane.”

“Ava, it’s not every day a person finds out something like this, so believe me, I understand completely how ridiculous this sounds.  But you’ve seen angel-like occurrences right in front of your very own eyes.  To deny it happened would be lying to yourself...and to me.”

I didn’t say anything.

“I know this isn’t the answer you wanted or expected to receive when I told you I needed to share something with you.  But did you really think it was normal for a human being to save someone from a car going over a hundred miles per hour?”

“No,” I piped up.  “I knew it had to have been something supernatural,” I admitted.  “I guess I wasn’t expecting an answer like this.”

“That’s understandable.”

The boiling water in the pot was spilling over onto the stove.  Jensen got up to check on it.  He then poured in brown rice and covered the pot once more.  Afterward, he came to sit down again.

I didn’t look at him.  I didn’t want to.  Seeing his face would make me melt, just like it always did.  Regardless if he was crazy . . . or if I was crazy, he was still Jensen to me.

My Jensen.

He cleared his throat and shifted his weight.  I still did not look in his direction.  We sat in silence for about three minutes when the timer on the oven went off.  Jensen took a deep breath and went to check the food.  While his back was to me, I looked up at him.

Since we’d gotten home, he’d changed his clothes.  He was wearing dark washed jeans, a fitted burgundy V-neck t-shirt, and a knitted cardigan.  He looked polished, refined.  His hair was rugged, but tamed.  Jensen appeared to be perfect.  He turned around and I immediately went back to staring at my fingers.  Jensen chuckled and sat down.  The clock was ticking louder and louder, until finally I had to look at something else; so I glanced up to see Jensen.  He was smiling at me, content.

“You’ve decided to look at me now?” he teased.

“It was an accident,” I muttered, tempted to stare someplace else.

“What’s wrong with looking at me?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh really?  Well that seems to be the case at this moment.”

“No, it’s fine.  I enjoy looking at you.”  I shifted my weight.  “When is dinner going to be ready?”

“Another fifteen or twenty minutes,” he smiled an adorable crooked smile.  My heart turned to mush.

“Would it be okay if I snacked on something beforehand?” I asked, stomach grumbling.

“Of course.  Would you like some freshly baked bread?”

“You made bread?”

“Certainly.”  He went over to the oven and took out two things that looked like logs.  He placed them on a cutting board on the counter and began slicing.  “How many slices would you like?”

“Um, two please.”

He brought over two slices of warm bread, with a large helping of butter on the side of the plate.

“I have olive oil.  Would you like to dip the bread in that instead?”

“No, this is great.  Thanks.”  I dipped the bread into the butter and took a bite of the warm, delectable baguette.  “Oh my gosh, this is absolutely delicious.”

“Thank you,” he smiled.  “One of the many recipes my mother taught me growing up.”

“I’ve never had bread this fresh before.  It’s amazing.”

“Well if you’d like some more, I’ll gladly bring over the rest of what I made.”

“No, no, I’ll wait until dinner’s ready.  Wouldn’t want to spoil my appetite.”  I was sincerely looking forward to dinner now.

“Smart girl,” he winked.

I continued eating, staring down at the bread and butter.  When I looked back up at Jensen, his shirt and sweater were both off, hanging off of his chair.

“It’s getting a little hot in here, don’t you think?”  He was expressionless.

“What are you doing?” I questioned with my mouth full.

“I took my clothes off.”

I glanced underneath the table to see that his pants and underwear were off as well in a heap on the floor.  I immediately popped back up, shoveling more bread into my mouth.

“What’s the matter?” he asked with a grin.  “Something seem a little weird to you?”

“No,” I said with my mouth full once more.  “Everything is normal around here.”

Normal
left the building days ago.

“I feel a draft.  Do you feel a draft?”  He winked at me.

I couldn’t help it.  I began to laugh.  Really laugh for the first time in days.  Since he and I skinny-dipped together, I hadn’t seen Jensen naked.  But I’d never seen him naked like this.  He gracefully stood up from the table and smiled.

“Jensen!” I squealed, practically falling out of my chair from laughter.  “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m making dinner,” he said, turning away.  His muscular back was to me. “What the hell are
you
doing?”

“Staring at your ass.”

“Oh really?  Is it nice?  Do you like it?”  He started shaking it, like a male stripper would do.

I couldn’t contain myself.  I burst out laughing louder than before.  I couldn’t believe he was doing this.

“You can look but you can’t touch,” he said.

“I won’t,” I told him, still laughing.  But then I got an idea that would surprise him.  Quickly, I took off my shirt, so I was in my bra.  When he turned around, his eyes went wide.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here Miss Montage?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said nonchalantly, eating another piece of the scrumptious bread.

“You’re breaking the law, you know.”

“Oh, am I?” I questioned, eyebrow raised.

“You are.” He confirmed.  “The law states that a woman cannot be fully or partially dressed at the dinner table.”

“So I guess I
am
breaking the law,” I pondered.  “What happens to people who break the law?”

“They get no food.”  He took away my plate of bread.

“Hey!  Stealing is a crime, too, you know.”

“Not in this house.”  He gave me a sly grin, then walked out of the kitchen and into his bedroom.

Curiously, I followed him.  Once inside, he greeted me with a smile.  He had put on a whole new outfit and was perched on his bed.  I felt awkward now, in my bra with no shirt on.

He got up from the bed very quickly.  “Avalon.”  He immediately kissed me on the lips.  I didn’t stop him.

“I believe you, Jensen,” I said between kisses.  “I swear I believe you.”

“So when you were human…did you look…the same?”

Meaning handsome beyond comprehension - so faultless.

We were on his king size bed - a dozen plush pillows covered the surface, not to mention the light-as-a-feather blanket he had, and the extremely fluffy mattress - like you were floating on a cloud.

Perfect for an angel
.

He rolled his eyes and let out an airy laugh.  “Yes,” he said.  “But not as improved.”

 “What do you mean by
improved
?”

“Becoming an angel is like being reborn again.  So as an angel we have different bodies - angelic bodies.  Bodies that would frighten humans.  It’s quite hard to explain.”  He furrowed his brow in deep thought.  “To make things easier for humans we take the form of the body we had in our human life.”

“That means there’s no body in your grave?”  I was mesmerized.

“After three hundred years my body should have decayed quite a bit,” he chuckled.  “But no.  This is the body I died in.  This is the human body I’m stuck with.”  He closed his eyes and shrugged.  “As for my body the way it used to look…the way it had been centuries ago…my acne cleared up.  And I’m not as blind as I used to be.”  He winked.

I listened to his hearty laugh and couldn’t help smiling.  “Your eyesight was that bad?”

“Well, yes.  I was blind.”  I’d thought he was using a figure of speech.

“Oh my goodness.  How’d that happen?”

“I was born that way.  It was all I knew.  So I certainly don’t take these,” he pointed to his eyes, “for granted.  That’s why I enjoy staring at you as often as I am able to.  I’ve been able to appreciate the beauty I can see right in front of me.”

I blushed.  “You’re sweet.”

“Simply stating the truth, Avalon.”  There was brief silence.  “The only fortunate thing about blindness was seeing things with my other senses.  Being able to physically feel the mane of a horse in my hands.  Hearing the beautiful, different songs of the many birds outside my family’s estate.  Tasting the wonders that made up even the simplest of foods.  Smelling my mother’s perfume.”  He smiled to himself as he thought back three centuries before my time.  “Coming back to earth has reminded me of all the things I’d once relied on to survive.”

The skin all over his body was so smooth and soft.  His heart sounded like music beneath my ear.  He was in love with me.  I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was beginning to fall in love with Jensen as well.

“That’s really incredible,” I chimed, and drew little circles on his forearm with my index finger, giving him goose bumps.

“Have any other questions?” His blue eyes lit up.

“Do you guys have wings?”

“We have four pair.”

“
Four
?”  I thought back to the dream where Jensen had saved me from Cole.  Jensen had had four wings behind him.  “You don’t just have two?”

“Certainly not.  An angel with two wings?  What could you do with that?” he teased.

“But you said you can’t fly.”

“We can’t,” he laughed.

“So what are they for?”

“Two are for modesty,” he blushed, staring down at his crotch area, “and the others are to set us apart from any other being G-d created.”  I was dumbfounded.  And speechless.  “Angels aren’t as they appear in literature or films.  Hollywood didn’t create us.  A Being with immense power did.  This being said, sometimes intricate things are merely something simple in disguise.”

I liked how he put that.  He was so intelligent.  “This is a lot to get used to.”

“I know, I know.”  He kissed the top of my head.  “And you’re taking all of this incredibly well.  I’m so proud of you.”

“Well it’s not every day a girl finds out her boyfriend is an angel.”

“I’m your boyfriend?”  He looked shocked, but very happy.

“That’s what you told that girl at the club.”  I couldn’t forget that.

“Even with all the chaos going on,
of course
you’d remember that,” he beamed.  “Well I feel quite improper.”  He shook his head and smiled.  “Avalon, will you do me the honor of being mine?”

I’d always just thought he spoke the way he did because he read a lot of old literature or something.  Now everything was clicking.  As much as I wanted to tell him that I would love to be his forever, I was distracted by his words.  They meant so much, although he spoke so little.

“Yes, of course.”  To me, this felt close to a marriage proposal.  I was elated.

“Well isn’t this a splendid occasion!”  He smiled at me, looking into my eyes, which were filled with utter curiosity and the beginning sensation of blooming love.

I kissed him twice on the lips, hugging his body close to mine.  He kissed my nose, sending shivers down my spine.

“Can I ask you something?” I spoke.

“You can ask me anything at any time.”

“How did you convince Tory she knew you?  And your boss to hire you?”

He laughed.  “It’s called *Memory-Swiping.”

“Memory-Swiping?” I laughed.  “Do you wash people’s minds or something?”

“Sort of,” he explained.  “An angel has the ability to put false information into one’s head, or if need be, remove information.”

“Sounds intense.”

“It can be.”

“Can you show me what that’s like?” I asked, curiously.  “Just something.”

“Are you sure?” he asked with a playful grin.

“Definitely.”

“Okay.  This might feel weird.”  He stared into my eyes and I stared into his black pupils, almost feeling like I was in some sort of trance.  “So Avalon, that basketball game was great last night, wasn’t it?” He asked with a wide grin.

“Oh yeah!”  I said, jumping to my feet, remembering all the great plays.  “I couldn’t believe how close it was!”

He laughed hysterically, but I didn’t know why.

“What’s so funny?”

“Ava, we never saw a basketball game last night.  Remember?”

“We didn’t?” I wondered aloud.  “I could’ve sworn we saw the game on TV.”

He shook his head.

I thought for a moment.  “The power to change my memory?” I asked, a bit amused, remembering how just a couple seconds ago I’d asked him to show me more of his powers.  Why hadn’t I put two and two together?  Especially since I hated basketball and didn’t know the difference between a spike and a Quarter Back.  Or was that the lingo for football?

“Yes.”

I shrugged.  “That felt odd.”

“I told you it would.”  He smiled my favorite toothy smile and folded his arms across his firm chest.  But then I remembered . . . he also said he had the ability to take away memories.

“I don’t know how to ask this of you,” I started, “but I’m thinking it would be a good idea for us both.”

“Yes?”

“Take away the memories I have of what Cole did to me.  About the last year and a half of my life, until I met you.  Replace the old memories with new ones.  Make me forget what it was like all this time to walk around…afraid of my own shadow.  Afraid of every man I came across.  Afraid to live my life or finding the motivation to live my life at all.  For so long he’d taken that away from me.  But you brought it back.  You gave me my life back.  I just don’t want to continue living…fearful of what might happen.”  I paused.  “Cole’s still out there, you know.  And I’d rather forget all about him and what he did to me than live like this.”

Jensen didn’t say a word for what felt like forever.  What was he thinking?  Why couldn’t he do this for me?  Would he tell me he wasn’t able to?  Would he say I needed to deal with my problems?  Or would he willingly take all the pain away?

“Sweetheart…I understand why you’d ask me to do that.  I have the power to give you release.  And I wish I could, but…”

“But, what?”

“As I said before, the more of my abilities I use, the easier it’ll be for the Shadow Angel to come and find me.”

“Oh.”  I felt disappointed, although I knew I had no right to feel this way.  Jensen was here now.  Wasn’t that what mattered most?  “It’s okay.  I get it.”

“I’m sorry, Ava.  I wish I could do that for you.  If I could, I’d make it happen in a heartbeat.  I guess I’m just being selfish…wanting to spend as much time with you as possible before I’m captured.”  Both of us sighed, holding onto one another a bit tighter.  “I’m right here to protect you.  I love you so much.  You literally have no idea what I’ve done to get here to you…to be right here in this moment with you.  If angels could dream this would be a dream come true.”  I was speechless.  “Now I need you to do something for me.”

“Hmm?”

“Tell me about your life.  How you saw things to be.”

“But you saw me grow up.”

“That was from
my
perspective.  Your experiences are your own.” He smiled.

I shrugged.  “Well, my parents were married for three years before having me.  They were in their mid-twenties, not planning on having a child.  For years I thought of myself as a
mistake
.”  Jensen’s body tensed.  “Something no one knew - my father was a private investigator for a security company.  And once they had me, his work hours came to a halt.

“My mother was a stay-at-home mom, making and selling homemade turquoise jewelry for not much profit.  But it helped us, at least.  Meanwhile, my dad was barely working.  When I turned eight he decided it was about time he picked up more shifts to get a head-start on some cases considering we were drowning in debt.”

“No one helped your family,” Jensen stated, disgustedly.  I guessed he’d known about that.

“My family didn’t want to bring any negative attention to themselves.  So they didn’t tell anyone,” I said.  “I guess you could say their pride got in the way of their judgment.”

Jensen half-grinned as he waited for me to continue.

“He received a call from a restaurant owner in Missouri - the alcohol from their pricey bar was disappearing.  He offered my dad a lot of money.  He accepted and took the job.”  I shut my eyes lightly, pondering my thoughts.  “He was there for a week. And within that week he worked undercover as a bartender.  He found out that two employees were the ones who stole the booze.  They got into an altercation…leaving my dad for dead.  We got a call two days later.  My mother was never the same.”

“I’m so sorry,” Jensen whispered, furrowing his brow.

“No one really knows that.  Just you, my mom, Tory and myself,” I said, absently.  “Whenever someone asks about my dad I tell them my parents are divorced and I don’t see my father anymore.  It kind of makes me feel better about the situation, you know?  Like it’s better to know he’s still out there where I can see him rather than his body buried beneath the dirt forever.”

“I recall his funeral.”

That was a shocking thing to hear.  “I was too little to understand what was really happening.  I just remember my mom crying.  A lot.”

“I don’t know what I’d do if you passed away prematurely,” he winced.  “You’re so…young and…alive,” Jensen said.

I snickered.  “Alive?  I’ve been acting dead for the past year, Jensen.  Nothing’s lively about that.”

“Despite what happened to you, I’m talking about your
soul
.”

“What about my soul?”

“It’s…
beautiful
…radiating every time you breathe.  You’re something I’ve never witnessed before.  And I’ve had to look after many people during my angelic-years.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You are different,” he stated.  “You always have been and always will be.  There’s no way around that.  You’ve continuously taken into consideration others’ problems and their feelings before your own.  Up until what Cole did to you, you were…
awake
.  Meaning you saw things…things others couldn’t see even though they were right in front of them.  You have a gift, Avalon.  And that’s why I think I’m so drawn to you.  It’s like your aura is pulling me in closer until I can’t get any nearer.”  He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead.  “You’re everything to me.”

Suddenly, I couldn’t contain myself any longer.  I had to say it.  I needed to let him know what I was feeling in that moment, for it might never come again.

“I love you, Jensen.”