Hiding In His Dreams (8 page)

She nodded and he let it stay
there.

He felt nothing, no sign of life, no
kicks.

But even though he did not feel
anything, he could not help but marvel at the life that was growing
inside her, and his part in creating it.

“
Do you want to talk to it?”
Alyssa asked.

He gave her a puzzled look. “Talk to
it? Can it even hear me? What would I say?”

“
I read somewhere that it
can distinguish its parents’ voices from other people‘s. I’ve been
talking to it a lot. Maybe when it comes out, it’ll recognize your
voice.”

Luke stood there with his hand on her
bulging stomach, feeling like an idiot. “What should I
say?”

“
Just say what’s on your
mind. I know it’s hard for you, but try anyway.”

So he did. He cleared his
throat.

“
Little boy or little girl.
I just want you to know that your mommy and daddy are doing
everything they can to give you a good life when you come
out.”

Alyssa smiled.

As he stood in front of his beloved and
his unborn child, he thought about how far he had come. Just half a
year earlier, he did not even have a girlfriend. And now, he was
going to be a father and a husband. He could not believe that he
had told her that he was going to propose.

He felt his hand tremble at the
thought.

* * * * *

At noon the next day, Luke sat in the
lunchroom at work, hunched over his laptop. Beside him, his turkey
sandwich on rye was untouched.

He was working so hard that he did not
hear his name.

“
Luke? Luke?”

He looked up and saw Mike wander into
the room. His tanned friend looked really healthy. Mike’s sandy
blond beach hair swung as he walked toward Luke.

“
I heard the big news,” Mike
said. “Congratulations!”

“
Yeah,” Luke said.
“Thanks.”

“
You don’t look very
excited.” Mike adjusted his glasses.

“
No, I am,” Luke
affirmed.

“
So does this mean you’re
getting married then?”

“
Yeah,” he said
flatly.

“
What’s the matter with
you?” Mike inspected his friend and co-worker. “Alyssa’s a great
girl. You’re lucky to have her.”

Luke remained silent. The spring
sunlight streamed in from the window. From the lunchroom, he could
see the vibrant green of Stanley Park. Along the entrance to the
park, he could see a man and a woman pushing a stroller with a
toddler in it.

The woman slipped her hand into the
man’s, and they rubbed their noses together.

Luke pried his eyes away from the happy
couple and turned back to Mike.

“
What’s being married
like?”

“
It’s good,” Mike answered,
placing a container in the microwave. “Are you still thinking of
that nightmare with Nina?”

Luke said nothing. He had tried to
block out most of his memories of his ex-girlfriend.

He remembered only one
scene.

He was having a fight with Nina in a
restaurant. All the customers and staff members stopped what they
were doing to take in the drama.

“
You don’t love me anymore,”
Nina accused, setting down her fork with a loud clang.

“
I do,” he
protested.

“
Then why didn’t you cancel
your plans with Mike to spend time with me? I hardly see
you.”

“
I see you three times a
week at the very least. And I shouldn’t have to kick friends out of
my life to spend time with you.”

Nina crossed her arms over her chest,
her small mouth pouting out.

“
What the hell are you even
doing with me?” she demanded to know.

Luke had no answer for her. He knew
that she would be dissatisfied with anything he said.

So he said nothing.

She continued to glare at him as he ate
his noodles calmly.

“
I think we should break
up,” he said quietly. He looked at her brown eyes, her short dark
hair, and her arms folded across her chest.

She did not need to talk. Her scowling
face said it all.

The microwave dinged, bringing him back
to the present.

“
You don’t have to say it,”
Mike said, taking his container out of the microwave. “I can tell
you are still thinking of that nightmare with Nina. You gotta move
on from that, man. A normal relationship, let alone a marriage, is
nothing like that. You’re supposed to be really enjoy being
together, and not feel like you’re one person.”

Mike put a hand on Luke’s shoulder.
“Don’t sweat it, man. These are just pre-marriage jitters. They’ll
go away.”

Luke hoped they would.

* * * * *

When Luke got home that night, there
was a note from Alyssa on the mini blackboard they used to write
messages to each other.

Doing double shift at the
hospital tonight. Leftover lasagna in the fridge. Love,
A.

He wondered briefly whether she should
still be working so hard now that she was pregnant. But he knew
her. Like him, she was unhappy if she were not doing what she loved
most: taking care of others.

He went into his bedroom to change, but
caught sight of something in the guest room. He poked his head in
and witnessed a transformation. It used to be empty, except for a
tiny bed in the corner.

Now, in the middle of the room was a
crib. He walked into the room. In the crib were stuffed animals, a
rattle, and a bottle. Infant clothes, socks and pacifiers lined the
spare bed in the corner. She must have gone shopping without me, he
realized.

As he took in the sight, he realized
just how much Alyssa wanted to be a mother.

He pushed the doubt out of his
mind.

I’ll propose to her soon, he decided.
Just as soon as I get promoted. So that I can give them both a
better life.

* * * * *

That night, Luke had a dream. He dreamt
that he was at Taylor Park at night, and the wind was blowing
furiously, whipping his hair. He had to squeeze his eyes shut to
keep out loose sand.

The wind became stronger, pelting him
from all sides. It gusted at him in a way that ordinary wind does
not. It felt angry to him, even vengeful. Out of the corner of his
eye, he thought he saw something emerge from the bushes. An oval
shape, almost like a raindrop. Quickly, it disappeared.

When the wind finally subsided, Luke
took a good look around him.

The cherry blossom tree loomed high
above him, but instead of flourishing, the tree was rotting away.
The cherry blossoms became a sickly decaying brown, and withered as
soon as they hit the ground.

The putrid stench flooded Luke’s nose
and he put his hands to his nose to keep from gagging. One blossom
hit his face, and started to burn.

He tried to rip it off, but it latched
on, stinging him.

When he finally managed to pry it off,
Luke inspected the cherry blossom. Instead of the usual white, it
was now a charred black.

* * * * *

Chapter 7

Three months
later…

On a beautiful summer day, Luke picked
up Alyssa from work to go to Vancouver General Hospital for an
obstetric ultrasound. It was sunny, but not too hot. The breeze was
light and refreshing.

The sun shone down on their convertible
as they cruised along. Luke snuck a peek at her when they stopped
at a red light. She was in a pretty white summer dress. And her
pregnancy was starting to show.

They arrived at the hospital, and were
escorted to a private room.

Alyssa sat down on the examination
table as Luke held her hand.

“
I’m sure it’ll be fine,”
Luke said.

“
Yeah,” she said, although
she sounded uncertain. “Of course it will.”

She patted her own stomach. “Everything
will be alright, my little girl. Our little girl,” she said, eying
Luke. “We’ll love you as soon as you come out of me. In fact, we
love you right now, even when you’re still in there.”

So she wasn’t kidding about talking to
the child, Luke thought.

He was in awe of the love that Alyssa
was so capable of giving, both to himself and to the
baby.

There was a knock on the door and the
obstetrician came in. The doctor was old, with white hair and
old-man glasses. He looked like he had been practicing medicine for
a long time, Luke noted. That made him feel better.

“
Hello,” the doctor said in
a grandfatherly tone. “I’m Dr. Best. How are we doing
today?”

“
Not bad,” Alyssa
said.

“
Great. If you’ll lie down,
we can get started.”

Alyssa lay down and the physician
picked up the transducer beside the medical sonographic instrument
and began to trace Alyssa’s abdomen with it.

Luke looked at the sonogram. He saw
certain bulges where the baby was, and the outlines of a head, arms
and legs, but something looked off. He rubbed his eyes.

It looked really cramped in there. He
saw two outlines of two heads, two sets of arms and two sets of
legs.

The obstetrician finished his scan.
“Everything looks fine to me. You have a little surprise though.”
He grinned. “You have twins. Fraternal twins. A boy and a
girl.”

Alyssa turned to her boyfriend. A smile
took over her entire face.

“
Isn’t that great?” she
exclaimed.

“
Yeah. Thank God I got that
promotion,” he said. Twins? He had not been expecting
that.

She tried to get up, but then slipped,
hitting her stomach on the edge of the examination
table.

Luke grabbed her immediately, before
she could fall.

“
Oww,” she said, rubbing her
stomach.

Dr. Best rushed to help her. “Do you
feel any pain?”

She shook her head.

“
I better scan it again.” He
placed the transducer on her stomach and traced it around. “It
looked fine to me,” he pronounced, after a careful scan.

“
You have to be careful,”
the specialist added. “Unnecessary stress on the mother can kill
the babies.”

Alyssa nodded, and squeezed Luke’s hand
even tighter.

Luke repeated the advice in his mind
like a mantra.

Unnecessary stress can kill
the babies.

* * * * *

The next day, Luke sat in his new
Junior Manager office at work. It was twice as big as his old one,
and had a nicer window view. He could see Burrard Inlet where he
was sitting. A Chevron gas station floated on the water.

After working tirelessly for the past
three months, his supervisor finally graced him with good news.
Next stop: Full Manager. Now that there were twins, he and Alyssa
would need the money.

He looked at the ring on his desk.
Four-carat diamond.

He did not know when he would propose.
Had he been using his lack of promotion as an excuse not to marry
her? If he had, then he had run out of excuses.

He flayed the doubts in his mind,
flayed them so hard that he was sure they were dead.

He would propose to her that night, he
decided, after dinner, late at night. He would take her back to the
place where they had their first date. Taylor Park.

It was time.

* * * * *

That evening, when he got home, he
found another message on the mini blackboard.

The hospital is especially
busy tonight. They needed more staff. I’ll be home ASAP. Teriyaki
chicken in the fridge. Love, A
.

He remembered the advice from the
doctor the day before.

Unnecessary stress can kill
the babies.

He considered going to the hospital and
insisting she come home. He would tell her it was for the sake of
their unborn babies.

Instead, he reclined into his easy
chair and turned on the TV. Alyssa was a big girl. She could make
her own decisions.

He walked past the guest room, which
was now the babies’ room, on his way to his room to
change.

He glanced at the babies’ room, then
did a double-take.

There were now two cribs instead of the
one. There were also one extra of everything: socks, baby clothes,
pacifiers.

Alyssa must have gone shopping without
him again.

He was not surprised. He supposed he
should be getting used to Alyssa’s maternal instincts taking
charge.

He was heading into the kitchen to heat
up some dinner when the TV attracted his attention.

The images on the screen showed a busy
emergency room hospital scene. All the nurses and doctors were
scrambling here and there, as though to escape from a fire.
Suddenly, a patient was wheeled into the ER and the staff made a
beeline toward the gurney. Sweat poured off their faces as they
rushed along beside it. They looked really stressed out to
Luke.