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    I
feel the bed dip and immediately miss his fingers as he withdraws them.  I
open my eyes and watch him slide my underwear over my hips and down my legs and
then he does the same with his.  I lift my t-shirt over my head and toss
it in the same pile on the floor.  

His hands wrap around my
knees, dragging me down the bed until my head rests flat on the mattress and
then he lowers himself over me.  I open my legs wider to accommodate him
and can feel his hard length against my pubic bone.  I immediately push my
hips up to feel him press against me.  My eyes roll as he rubs against
those sensitive nerves.  “Oh God.”

    Dillon
dips his head and takes my breast into his mouth and sucks. His mouth is warm
and wet.  His lips are soft.   I hold his head to me as he laps
at my breasts.  My nipples pucker and my muscles clench with need.

    “Dillon,
can we?  Now?”

    His
head pops up and searches my face.  “Are you sure? I don’t know….”

    “I’m
okay Dillon.  I’m ready.  I know it will hurt.  I know what to
expect.  I’m ready.”  I’ve read so much about girls losing their
virginity.  I know it’s not going to be beautiful the first time.

    He
reaches over me to open the drawer to the nightstand and pulls out a foil
packet.

    “Can
I?”  I want to put it on him.  He tears the package open, kneels
between my legs and watches me as I roll it over him.  I’ve never seen him
like this.  He’s a little intimidating.  We both smile nervously at
each other.

    Dillon
lowers himself back over me and I wrap my arms around his back.  His skin
is clammy and he’s shaking.

    “You’re
shaking.”

    “Yeah.”
 He laughs.  “I’m nervous.”

    “You
are?”

    “Yeah,
aren’t you?”

    “Very.
 It’s my first time.  Why are you nervous?”

    “I
just want to make it good for you.”

    My
eyes start to burn as I try to hold back the tears.  I pull him closer to
me.  Our chests touch.  Our clammy skin sticks together.  He
softly kisses my lips and then rests his forehead against mine as he slowly
tries to push himself inside of me.  His biceps shake as he holds himself
over my body. My legs automatically try to close at the intrusion and my
muscles tense.

    “Open
your legs, relax your muscles,” he pants into my mouth.

    I
let my knees fall to the side, squeeze my eyes closed and focus on relaxing.
 

    “Look
at me Amy.”

    I
open my eyes and we hold each other’s gazes.

    “I’m
sorry,” he says as he thrusts into me.  I scream. He drops his head to my
shoulder and holds himself still.  “I’m sorry.”

    “I’m
okay.”  Oh God, it burns.  I blink the tears back and bite my lip
until the pain subsides.  Dillon stays completely still, letting me
adjust.  I squirm under him letting him know I’m ready and then I feel his
lips and his warm breath on my neck.  He licks up the side of my neck and
sucks on the sensitive spot beneath my ear as he starts to move his body over
me.

    “Dillon,”
I whisper.  He lifts his face back up to look at me as we both find a
slow, gentle rhythm. His eyes stay focused on mine.  Our lips touch.
  Our breaths collide.  His body presses harder against mine as
he moves back and forth, his hard chest rubbing against my aroused nipples, our
pelvises grinding.  A small gasp escapes my mouth as I feel that electric
jolt buzz through my body.

    “Dillon.”
 I grip the back of his neck and moan into his shoulder as my muscles
tense.  My knees squeeze his hips.  His pace quickens.  He pants
louder.  His body breaks out in a sweat as he moves faster and pushes
deeper.  He grunts into my neck and then stills as he comes.  

    “Oh
shit, Amy.”  Dillon pulls out and scoots his body down so he can rest his
head on my naked chest. I can’t breathe.  His body is so heavy, but I
don’t want him to move. His hot breath warms my skin as he breathes heavily
against my chest.  I can feel his heart beating rapidly against me. I
tangle my hands in his wet hair as we lay there, unable to form words.

    I
think we both nod off for a few minutes until I feel him peel himself from my
body, our skin seems to not want to let go.  I immediately miss his warmth
as he hovers over me.  

    “Are
you okay?”  His eyes dart back and forth over mine.  

    I
nod and his lips cover mine in a sensual kiss that causes my belly to clench.
 He stops.  His lips rest on mine, his eyes are closed, and he’s
tense.  I watch him, waiting.  I think he’s going to say something,
but then he doesn’t.  He disappears into the bathroom.

Was he going to say he loved
me?  Why didn’t he?  I feel a little insecure now.  I love him.
  I know I love him and that was beautiful.  It was beautiful to
me.  I hope he felt the same way.

    I
curl up under the covers and wait for Dillon to come back.  I can’t relax
and close my eyes until I feel his arm come over me and rest on my belly.
 He snuggles right up to my back, kisses the back of my shoulder and
whispers good night.  I thread my fingers through his over my belly and
close my eyes as I slowly sink into a deep sleep.

    I’m
spinning with my arms stretched out.  The trees are a blur of green as I
spin.  I’m dressed in white.  The sun is shining bright up in the
deep blue sky. The burnt orange leaves from the elm are raining down on me. I
spin and laugh as they flutter in the air.  I’m free.  I’m finally
free.

    A
chill causes me to stop.  I wrap my arms around myself.  Dillon?
 I spin slowly, looking for him all around me and then I see him.
 He’s on the other side of the fence in the darkness.  No.  I
try to run to him but I’m frozen.  He sees me and smiles, but then I see
him standing behind Dillon.  The faceless skinny man in the suit.  I
try to scream to warn Dillon but nothing comes out.  I force my legs to
run to him, but they won’t move.  The man slowly walks towards Dillon.

   “Dillon!”
I scream.  I finally hear my voice so I scream louder.  “Dillon!”

    “I’m
here baby, I’m here.”  I feel him shaking me.  “Amy, it’s just a
dream.”

    I
lunge at him and wrap my body around him.  I don’t want to let him go.
 I felt him being taken away from me.  I felt it.  It was the
worst pain.  I squeeze him as tight as I can because I never want to lose
him.  Ever.

CHAPTER 17

Dillon

    “Am
I going to fast?” Amy asks as we creep down the dirt road in my F150.

    “Are
you joking?  You’re going less than twenty miles an hour,” I tease her.

   “It’s
scary.  This truck is too big.  It feels like we’re taking up the
entire road and then some.  I can’t believe you're letting me drive.”

    “You
need to learn and I knew there wouldn’t be anybody on this road.”

    “Thanks
for the confidence.”

    She
looks hot driving my truck.  She’s wearing another new skirt and a v-neck
t-shirt that shows a bit of cleavage.  She threw her hair up on the top of
her head with a clip and it’s messy and sexy as hell.  She’s all nervous,
biting at her bottom lip while she grips the steering wheel and doesn’t even
blink while staring straight ahead.  Her legs are slightly spread and
tense, one foot barely on the gas and the other hovering over the brake.

    I
move over as close as I can and put my hand on her thigh.

    “Dillon,
stop.  You’ll get us killed.”  She shoves my hands away.

    “Then
pull over.”

    “Really?”
she asks, trying not to look at me, keeping her eyes on the road.

    “Yeah.
 Pull over.  I need to kiss you.”

    She
immediately pulls over and as soon as she has the truck in park, I pull her
into my lap and kiss her.  I kiss her passionately. I don’t know if she
realizes how much she’s woven herself so deeply into my life.  How much I
desperately need her.  I didn’t know I was lonely until I met her.  I
thought I was satisfied with my life.  Taking care of the ranch, having
casual sex with Candice and watching the sunset alone.  Since I met Amy,
none of it is enough anymore.  In a way, I need her more than she needs
me.  I wanted to tell her I loved her last night.  What happened
between us was beautiful.  I’ve never felt so much emotion during sex in
my life.  That’s how I know without a doubt that I love her.  I just
couldn’t say it. I panicked.

    She kisses
me back with an equal amount of passion and when we stop to catch our breath,
we don’t even disconnect.  She inhales my breath as I inhale hers, as if
we need each other to breathe.  As we’re enjoying the peace and the calm
of just being in each other’s arms, a loud horn makes us both jump.  I
practically toss Amy off of me to the floor of the truck as I see a large red
truck barreling at us from behind.  I bend my body over hers and prepare
myself for the impact when the truck swerves around us, just barely missing us,
and laying on the horn as it hisses by.

    “Fuck!
What the hell was that?”

    “Dillon,
what happened!” she screams from underneath me.

    “I
don’t know.”  I sit up in the seat and watch the truck disappear up ahead
of us.  The hair on my arms stand up.  I don’t have a good feeling
about what just happened, but I don’t want Amy to get worried.  “I think
it was just some drunk asshole.  It’s okay.  They drive down this
road all the time because they know it’s not travelled on much.  Come
here.”  I pull her up onto the seat and give her a reassuring hug.
 “Let’s go.”

    “Can
you drive?  I’m a little freaked now.”

    “Yeah.
 I’ll drive.”

    We
drive another couple of miles to the drugstore to get Amy’s prescription
filled.  The pill.  She’s getting on the pill.  She’s also
getting some sleep aids the doctor recommended, so I’m also thrilled about
that.

    We
pull into the parking lot and I immediately notice the red truck.  Amy
didn’t see it since I threw her to the floor of the truck as it passed, so I
don’t say anything.  This town isn’t very big and I’ve never seen this
truck before.  I’m getting all kinds of red flags, but I don’t want to
scare Amy.  We walk into the store and I can’t help but to look at every
single person in the place.  While her prescription is being filled, we
stand in the sleep aid aisle and I get the sense we’re being watched.  I
look up and down the aisle but I don’t see anyone.

    “Dillon,
what's wrong? Are you okay?”

    “Yeah.
 Just shaken up.”

    “Amy
Frank, your prescription is available for pick up,” blares a female voice over
the store intercom.

    “That’s
me,” she says with an easy smile.  We walk over to the pharmacy window
together.

    “Insurance?”
the Pharmacist asks.

    “I’ll
pay cash,” I tell the Pharmacist.

    As
I’m paying the lady and Amy is occupied with reading about her prescription, I
get that feeling again.  I turn my head quickly, and see a figure just as
he turns down the aisle.  It was a tall thin man in a suit.  I could
hear his boots tapping across the hard floor.  Then, he was gone.

    I
glance at Amy to make sure she didn’t see him.  She’s still studying the
pamphlet that came with her prescription.

    As
we leave the store, I glance around, but I don’t see anyone.  Once we exit
to the parking lot, I notice the truck is gone.

    As
soon as we get back to the ranch, I dig out Detective Douglas’s business card
and leave a message.  I know it was the guy.  I want him to check on
Alex Schafer’s son to see if the truck description matches.  

    I’m
paranoid and scared as hell, but I try to stay as calm as possible around Amy.

CHAPTER 18

Amy

    “Are
you sure you’re okay with this?” Dillon asks for the third time.

    “Yes.
 I want to meet your friends and I’ve never been to a bonfire.  I
think it’ll be fun.  It counts as my first college party experience,” she
says excitedly.

    “Candice
might come.  I had to include her.  These are the friends we hung out
with all through college.  Are you going to be uncomfortable?”

    “No.
 I swear.  It’ll be fine.  I know you’re still friends.”

    Ray
decided to head back to Denver to tie up some loose ends with his book.
 He left this morning with Laney and Daisy.  Just as we finished up
with the horses, Dillon got a call from his friend Danny.  They’ve been
having these bonfires every month since graduating.  Danny wanted to know
if it was still going on tonight.  Dillon didn’t think I would want to
have a bunch of people over, but I told him I’m ready.  I’m actually
really excited.

    We
spend all day cleaning up the barn and then mixing up their favorite college
punch. It’s vodka, beer and a lemonade mix all dumped together in a giant bowl.
 I’ve never had alcohol before, but it smells good, so I’m excited to try
it.  Dillon gets the fire going when it starts to get dark, and turns the
music on in the barn.  We fill up our glasses and sit by the fire waiting
for his friends.

    “Cheers
to your first near college experience,” he says and raises his cup.

    “Cheers!”

    We
bump red cups and I take a big sip of the punch.   I have to squish
my lips together and squeeze my eyes closed.  It doesn’t taste as good as
it smells.

    “This
is really gross.”

    “Believe
me, after one cup, it won’t matter. You have to be careful you don’t drink too
much.  It’ll start going down really easy.”

    As
soon as I see the headlights from a car pull onto the property, I start shaking
and start to feel flush.  I’m extremely nervous to meet Dillon’s friends.
 I checked myself in the mirror a dozen times.  I’m wearing a cute
short jean skirt and a pink button down shirt.  I have my hair hanging
down in loose waves, and I used Laney’s makeup to add a touch of mascara and
lip gloss.  I feel good, but I’m still so incredibly nervous.  I just
want to fit in.  Dillon squeezes my hand and kisses my cheek to calm my
nerves.  He keeps my hand in his and walks me over to his friends.  I
take a few more sips of the punch before we approach them.

    “Hey
guys.”  Dillon gives Danny and Ben quick man hugs and then kisses Tess and
Katelyn each on the cheek.

   “Guys,
this is Amy.”

   “Amy, this
is Danny, Ben, Tess and Katelyn.”  He points to each of them.

Danny looks like your
typical cowboy.  He’s tall and built like Dillon and dressed in denim,
flannel and a typical cowboy hat and boots.  His girlfriend, Tess, is
pretty, with long brown hair braided down her back.  She doesn’t wear a
lot of makeup, and she’s dressed simply, in a pair of jeans and a v-neck
t-shirt.  Danny and Tess dated all through college. Ben and Katelyn have
been dating for just over a year.  Ben looks more like a salesman rather
than a rancher.  He’s very clean cut and wears a cotton shirt with a
collar and a pair of khaki pants.  Katelyn is Candice’s best friend, and
they look like twins.  They both have long bouncy blonde hair and curvy
bodies. As nervous as I am, they all seem super friendly and seem happy to meet
me.  Candice isn’t with them.  Dillon wasn’t sure whether she’d show
up or not.

    We
all gather by the flickering fire with our cups of punch and begin bouncing on
our feet to the loud music.  Dillon catches up with the guys while
continuing to hold my hand, but out of the corner of my eye, I see Katelyn
waving at me, so I pull my hand away from Dillon and head towards the girls.
 I feel him gently pat my ass as I walk away and as I  turn my head
to glare at him, he winks at me.

    As I
approach the girls, Katelyn and Tess greet me with big smiles.

    “I love
your hair Amy,” Katelyn says enthusiastically.

    “Yeah,
it looks awesome, and I love your skirt too,” Tess says.

    “Thanks.”
 I look down at my new clothes.  “Laney took me shopping.  I
don’t know anything about fashion.”

    “Neither
does Katelyn.”  Tess laughs.

    “Hey.”
 Katelyn shoves at Tess with her elbow.

    “So?
 You and Dillon, huh?”  Tess nudges me.

    I
can’t hide my smile, but I know Katelyn is Candice’s best friend, so I try not
to gloat.

    “It’s
okay, Amy.  We never thought Dillon and Candice would get married or
anything.  They really weren’t that serious.  We’re happy for you,”
Katelyn says.

    “Thanks.”
 I’m so relieved.  I don’t feel awkward.  The girls are being
really nice to me.  I feel like a normal girl socializing with friends at
a typical college party.  I feel giddy.  I finish my first cup of
punch and start on my second.  I feel good.  I feel happy.

“Oh my gosh.  I love
this song.  Do you guys want to dance?”  

    Katelyn
grabs our hands and we move closer to the music near the barn.  I have no
idea what the music is or really how to dance to it, but the alcohol is flowing
through my veins, helping me move my body to the beat.  I twirl and move
my hips and laugh.  I can’t seem to relax the smile on my face.
 Katelyn and Tess teach me the sprinkler and the moonwalk.  We giggle
as we try to copy each other’s dance moves.  Several more people show up
and one by one, the girls introduce me.  We all mingle and dance.
 I’ve never had so much fun in my life.

    I
see Dillon walk over with a huge smile on his face.  He comes up behind me
and puts his hands on my hips, holding me close to his chest and then sways
with me. “You having a good time?”  He whispers in my ear.

    “The
best.”

    This
is unreal.  I’m at a party with a boy. A really hot one.  I have
friends.  I’m dancing.  I’m drinking.  Then I remember what
other things usually happen at these parties and I can’t miss the opportunity.
 I want to experience it all.

    I
turn my head into Dillon’s neck.  “Can we sneak away, so I can have a real
college party experience?”  I ask in a whisper.

    “How
much have you had to drink?”

    “Just
one cup.  I’m fine.”

    “You
sure?” he asks with the sexiest grin ever.

    “Yes.”

    He
takes hold of my wrist and leads me to the house and straight up the stairs.
 We’re both a little tipsy and clumsy as he strips me down.  I’m
wearing my new black lacy bra with a matching black thong.  I feel sexy
and confident.  As I stand at the foot of the bed, I quickly catalog all
those parts in my books that I mentally highlighted for future reference and
step towards him.  I pretend I’m that girl in the book that’s aggressive
and full of confidence.  He pulls his t-shirt over his head and fumbles
with his pants, not taking his eyes off of me.  I slide my underwear off,
kicking them to the floor and then help him with his.  I’m shaking and
starting to sweat, but I can’t stop smiling either.

    “Amy,
you are so fucking sexy,” he moans as he steps toward me and cups my face in
his hands.  He dips his head and sucks on my lips as I unhook my bra and
let it fall to the floor.  The way he looks at me and touches me makes me
feel sexy and normal, and the alcohol flowing through my veins is giving me
that extra confidence that I normally wouldn’t have. All at once, his hands are
everywhere.

    I
push down on his chest until he falls onto his back and lands clumsily on the
bed.  We both giggle as I climb over his body and hover over him on my
knees while resting my palms flat on his hard chest.  Before I can over
think what’s supposed to happen next, I feel his finger slide into my wetness.
 I close my eyes, feeling the intense sensation rip through my body.
 He lifts his head and starts teasing my nipples with his tongue.
 The mixture of cold air and the wetness of his mouth causes my nipples to
harden under his tongue as his finger continues to move in and out of me.

    I’m
on all fours as he lays beneath me pleasuring my body.  It feels so good.
 My body starts to scream for more.  I ride his finger as he sucks at
my breasts, pulling on my nipples with his lips and then nipping at them with
his teeth. I toss my head back and let out a loud moan.  As he slips a
second finger into me, I reach down and fist his cock in my hand and start
pumping him.  His skin is soft and silky over his rock hard muscle as I
glide my hand up and down.  I graze my thumb over the tip and watch his
eyes close.  He starts to lift his hips into my hand and I feel him grow
even harder.   He slowly pushes a third finger inside of me.
 It’s so tight, but I’m extremely wet.  

    “God,
Dillon.  I can’t wait any longer.  I need you inside me.”

    He
removes his fingers as I position him at my entrance.  I start to lower
myself down, his eyes lock on mine and before I have a chance to freak out, I
slowly guide him inside me.

    “Oh
fuck, Amy.”

    He
grabs at my hips, digging his fingers into my skin.  I place my hands over
his, squeezing them to my body, putting all my weight on my knees.  I
watch his face as I push myself down, feeling him fill me slowly.  His
mouth opens and a long groan escapes. Dillon threads our fingers together and
holds our joined hands between us as I circle my hips over him.   

    “It
feels so good Dillon.”  

    He
pulls our hands towards him so my body leans slightly over his, the angle even
more intense.  I start to move up and down and feel him slide in and out
and all of those sensitive nerves sending waves of pleasure through my entire
body.  We’re both panting and groaning, but I can tell Dillon needs more.
 He’s been so slow and gentle with me.

    “Dillon,
flip us.”

    Without
a word, he holds my body to him and we roll so I’m underneath him.  I
relax my legs and let them fall open.  He holds his weight up with his
forearms on either side of my head and starts to slide his body against mine.
 Slow at first.  He pumps into me as he kisses my mouth softly, his
thumbs caressing my temples.       

    “Go
faster Dillon,” I whisper.  He speeds up his pace, but he’s still being
too gentle.  I know he’s holding back.

    “Harder
Dillon. I need to come.  Don’t hold back.”  He moans and then
aggressively attacks my mouth as he starts to pound into me.  I have to
grab onto his biceps to stop my head from hitting the headboard.  He starts
to grunt with each thrust which heightens my arousal.  I moan and arch my
back, lifting my hips, digging my heels into the mattress, trying to get him as
deep as possible.  Our hips slap together, over and over making a sloppy
wet sound from the juices my body is expelling.  His lips drag across my
forehead, his heavy breath blowing my hair as his body moves back and forth
over mine.  I lick and nip at his neck, tasting the salt from his skin.

    “God,
Amy.  You feel amazing.  I’m gonna come. So hard.”  He rocks
into me, pushing in so deep, he hits a sensitive spot that makes me cry out and
squeeze his arms.

    “Oh
God.  Keep going.  Don’t stop.”

    “Hold
onto me.”

    I
wrap my arms around his neck and wrap my legs around his waist and hook my
ankles together behind his back.  He pushes his body up above me like he’s
going to do a pushup and then thrusts into me.  Fast.  Hard.
 Over and over.  The bed squeaks, the headboard hits the wall.
 I cry out each time he thrusts forward, hitting that spot.  I dig my
heels into his back as I feel my entire core start to pulsate around him.

    I go
still as my muscles tighten and start to spasm.  I squeeze my thighs and
tighten my arms around his neck.  My mouth falls open, expelling all of my
breath as I come.

Before I can even catch my
breath, I feel Dillon pull out of me so he can stand and then my ankles are
being pulled to the edge of the bed.  He wraps his arms under my knees and
pulls my ass to the edge, and then he fills me again.

    Seeing
him standing over me holding my legs wide open while he enters my body, his
muscles flexing with each push, sweat dripping from his skin and the fierce
look of desire in his eyes spurs another orgasm that is even more intense than
the last.  I seem to be dangling at the edge of a cliff and I just can’t
seem to fall over.  It just goes on and on.  My hips push frantically
towards him and I claw at the sheets on the bed.  I can’t stop the noises
bellowing from my mouth.  My body is over sensitive and over stimulated
and it is overwhelming.  Tears flood my eyes.  Dillon grunts with
each hard thrust and as he becomes louder, I find myself completely losing
control.  I slam my hips with his and just as I feel my muscles squeeze
him, my orgasm finally pushing me over that edge, he stiffens over me.  I
look up at his face.  It’s tense.  His eyes are squeezed shut, his
lips are parted and then he comes.  I can feel it.  I can feel him
swell inside me as his body trembles.  He lets out a long groan, takes a
few deep breaths, and then he opens his eyes.