HeroRising (25 page)

Like kill. Neither of them said it out loud, but the
implication hung there as heavy as a lead balloon.

But he was talking. Thank God, he was finally talking.

She crossed her arms, fighting the chills that rattled her
bones. “So you feel guilty for loving me? Like you’re being unfaithful?”

“Yes,” he sighed as if relieved that she understood. “She’s
dead. I know that. I know she is never coming back. And you make me want to
live. You make me want to be a better man. Natalia did too, but I was too
afraid to be that man. She deserved better than me. You deserve better than
me.”

In her heart the walls shifted and all the love she felt for
him poured out. Here was a man trying to make right and going about it all the
wrong way. God, men could be such idiots.

“What kind of man do you think I deserve, Bale?”

Surprise flashed across his face, but his voice was sure as
he answered, “A good man. A man who doesn’t need to fight unless it is to
protect you. Who loves you with his entire being. Who will do everything he can
to see to your happiness. You deserve a man who is loyal and will never give
you cause to cry. Who will tell you every day with his actions and words that
you are the most precious treasure in existence.”

Tears welled as he proved her right. He knew exactly the
right words to say. “Before this evening, those are the words I would have used
to describe you.”

“But I am not that man.”

“Yes, you are. And then some.”

He shook his head. “I am evil.”

“You’re not evil. Yes, you’ve done bad things, but I don’t
believe you are evil.” And that was the truth. An infinite amount of shades of
gray, Amaryllis had said, and she was right. Bale had done wrong, but in his
heart he wasn’t evil. “Did you take any pleasure while you were killing?”

“Only when I terminated the men who killed my family,” he
said without glee but with definite satisfaction.

“Okay. I can understand that.” She didn’t want to ask her
next question, but she needed to know. “When was the last time you killed
anyone?”

“A year ago.”

She sucked in a sharp breath but pressed on, despite the
urge to run away. She had to learn the entire truth of who he was. “Was that
here on Earth?”

The muscles in his jaw tightened as he nodded.

“What happened?”

He swallowed hard then licked his lips. “I have the power to
read another’s emotions.”

“I know. Amaryllis told me.”

“I have a feeling Amaryllis told you a lot of things.”

“She did, but continue.”

The corner of his mouth kicked up for a nanosecond. “When I
arrived on Earth, I had difficulty filtering out the purity of human emotions.
I still do. But back then the onslaught was overwhelming. I crossed paths with
a street gang that had beat up a man who they felt betrayed them and were going
to attack his sister. I stepped in to defend her. But I was already running on
a high of anger and frustration and could not contain my rage. I maimed and
killed several of the gang members.”

“Were they all bad guys?”

“Does it matter? Ari, I shouldn’t have killed anyone.”

“I know. I just—” She laughed. “I can’t believe we’re having
this conversation. I guess I would feel a little bit better if I knew they were
all bad guys. Like they deserved it, somehow.”

“If they did, I shouldn’t have been the one to carry out the
execution. Ari, I love you, but you need more than I can provide. You were
right to push me away. You should leave.”

“I should leave.” She drew in a breath. “But I don’t want
to.”

In two steps she was before him and wrapped her arms around
his waist. Against her cheek his skin was cool, not nearly as warm as normal
and she hugged him tighter.

Bale lowered his head to nuzzle her as if he were a giant
cat. “Ariel. This is no place for you.”

“Or you.” She fingered the thick link of chain. “What are
you doing here? I thought you turned yourself in.”

“I did. The captain didn’t want me as a criminal. He wanted
the Claymore’s help to capture a bigger threat. I told him I would not commit
any more crimes. He gave me the night to reconsider his offer.”

“Why the chain? Are you in pain?”

“No pain. Weak. A little nauseated and uncomfortable. But at
least I am locked away where I can’t hurt anyone. Especially you.”

“So this is your grand plan? Stay chained up in here for,
what, forever?”

“As long as it takes to pay for my crimes.”

“And who determines that?”

“You.”

She stepped back and laid her hand on his cheek. “And if I
think you’ve suffered enough?”

“Eternity would not be long enough.”

Of course he’d think that way. And here she thought she was
the one who leaned toward the dramatics. As she stroked her thumb over his
skin, she noticed the way he swayed into her touch. Despite all his talk and
insistence on remaining sequestered, he still craved contact. Until Bale
believed he had completed his penance, they were at an impasse. Talk wasn’t
going to convince him and she sure as hell wasn’t going to whip him. For one,
she didn’t have a whip handy, and two, those things were dangerous. She was just
as likely to injure herself as well as Bale.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted several dowels of
various sizes leaning against the wall and her heart kicked up a gear.
According to Amaryllis, pain had been the catalyst that broke through his guilt
the last time he fell into the pit of self-pity. Who was to say it wouldn’t
work again? But did she have it in her? Could she give him what he needed?

She licked her lips and tucked her hair behind her ears.
“Just so we’re clear, you insist on remaining here, tied up, as a punishment
for contributing to my freak out?”

“Ya.”

“And even though the duration of this punishment is up to
me, you don’t think you’ve served enough time?”

“Ya.”

“Okay.” She rubbed her hands together and walked over to
where the dowels rested behind him. The one she chose was two inches in
diameter and about three feet in length. The stick was light and when she swung
an experimental arc, a soft whoosh followed in its wake.

Wow. Oh Lord. She released a long breath and looked at Bale.
The broad expanse of his back flexed as he shifted his weight. As quiet as
ever, he didn’t ask what she was doing, but his head was cocked as if to listen
for her movements to give her away.

She stepped up behind him and reached around his waist for
the buckle of his belt.

He jumped. “What are you doing?”

“You want to be punished?” She pulled his jeans and
boxer-briefs down to his knees. “That’s what I’m doing. Spread your feet
apart.”

“Ari.” He turned his head left and right to try to catch a
glimpse of her.

“No Ari. Now spread ’em.” She popped him on the butt with
her open palm. “You’re at my mercy now.”

With a sideways glance, he shifted his feet. Before he
settled into place she struck the first tap to his firm backside.

It wasn’t a hard blow, but a light, testing smack that
didn’t even leave a mark. She swung again and this time his flesh rippled and a
pink welt blossomed. On the third strike Bale moaned and leaned into the hit.

Whoa. She blew a strand of hair out of her eyes and wiped
her damp palm against her skirt. Okay. Testing done. Now was the time to get
serious.

With each hit he let out a short groan as the muscles of his
ass flexed and clenched and a soft blush spread beneath the scattered blows.

The balance between pain for punishment and pain as cruelty
was a thin edge she never before traversed and she approached with extreme
caution. This wasn’t about hurting Bale, but to give him a release from the
emotions he didn’t know how to process.

Every few seconds she looked to him for any signs that she
had crossed the invisible line. His eyes were closed and his head hung low. A
slight grimace twisted his lips with each strike, but other than that, the only
sign of his discomfort was the sweat that slickened his skin and his reddening
butt cheeks.

Bale was a warrior and was trained to withstand the harshest
of environments, plus she knew that if she asked him about his welfare, he’d
refuse to answer and ask for more. But his cock couldn’t lie and right then it
was saying a lot about his state of mind.

As she continued to rain blows, his hips jerked and his
erection bobbed in the air. Swollen and red, the tip grew wetter by the second
and his balls drew up tight. Above their heads his hands clutched at the chain
and his entire body tensed and she recognized the clenching of his jaw as a
sign of his impending orgasm.

She dropped the dowel then ran her fingernails down his back
and over his hot ass. He hissed and bucked, her name falling like a plea from
his lips, but either in prayer or a curse, she couldn’t tell.

“Can you take more?” She stood on her toes to whisper in his
ear. In her flats, she was barely able to peek over his shoulder. “Or have you
had enough?”

“Whatever you desire,” he panted.

“I desire more.”

Actually she desired a lot more. Between her thighs she was
slick and her pussy pulsed with hunger. But this was not about sex and her
needs had to wait.

She reached around and grabbed his cock at the base.
Twisting her wrist, she rubbed up and down the hard shaft, stopping just short
of stroking the wet crown.

Bale began to moan. “Please stop.”

“You don’t like this?”

“I love it,” he gasped. “But I don’t deserve this pleasure.”

“What about this?” She stuck two fingers into her mouth then
pushed against the tight opening of his anus. Slowly she worked the tips up
into his body until they were buried to the knuckles.

In her hand his cock twitched and a spurt of pre-cum shot
from the tip. The fingers buried in his ass scissored and searched for that
magic spot that would make him beg for more. She didn’t know if his species had
a prostate gland, but she was gonna do all she could to find out.

When his cock bucked again, she squeezed the base of his
shaft and stilled her probing fingers. He shuddered in her arms and his knees
buckled. She slid her hand down to massage his balls as he caught his breath.
He sucked in a long draw of air between his teeth and she began again, jacking
him off with one hand while fucking him with the other.

Against the backdrop of his animalistic growls, the chain
squeaked and rattled in rhythm with their movements. His cock kicked and she
froze and tugged his testicles, which made him howl with frustration.

Twice more she worked him to the edge of release then pulled
away at the last moment. Pressed against his sweaty back, her shirt adhered to
her chest like plastic wrap and her hair clung to her neck in ropy strands. Her
arm slipped over his side and her lungs burned as she rode the wave with him.
Only his bound hands kept them on their feet as she clung to his slippery body.
She closed her eyes and absorbed the sound of his cries, the up-and-down motion
of his billowing chest, and the play of muscles of his back.

The scent of man and sex filled her nostrils and made her
weep with the need to take him down from his restraints and quench both of the
fires turning them into ash, but this wasn’t about her. The touching, the
stroking, all this was about showing Bale she cared enough about him to give
him what he needed. She cared enough to break him down to his base self, to unravel
the layers of self-recrimination to expose the man who craved touch. Her touch.
Her love.

Bale’s trembles turned into a full-on spasm and his head
tipped back with a roar. This time she didn’t stop his orgasm. She sank her
teeth into his back and milked his cock. It took all her strength to hang on as
he jerked in her arms. In her hand his cock spurted over and over and she used
the wetness to ease him off his high as she gentled her strokes until his
erection softened and his cries ceased.

Her hands shook as she unwound the chain from his legs. When
she reached to release his arms, she lost her balance and fell against his
back.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, still struggling to catch her own
breath.

She wasn’t tall enough to free him from the rest of the
chain, but she hoped it was enough for him to regain his strength. As she
stepped around to face him, she wiped at her face with the hem of her shirt.
Bale looked completely undone. His face was pale but for the red flush across
his cheeks and his swollen lips from where he had bitten them to hold back his
cries. The muscles of his chest, arms and legs twitched independently of each
other as if attached to electrodes. But his eyes, oh. His eyes burned bright
with myriad emotions. Disbelief, love and most of all hope.

The sparkle dimmed as she spoke, “Never again, Bale. I love
you. I love the man you are and the man you want to be, but I can’t do this
again. Bondage, a little spanking while playing together, fine. But this is too
much. I don’t have it in me to hurt you in such a way whenever you can’t
communicate. I’m not a Domme. I’m just Ari, who loves you and wants to work our
differences out. If you can love me as I am, come find me.”

Without a backward glance, she left him hanging on his hook
and let the door close behind her with a soft click.

Ari stepped out of the shower and stood on the bath mat for
several long minutes with her eyes closed and her hands down by her sides. All
her focus was on drawing in one slow breath, then another, allowing the
coconut-scented steam to fill up her lungs.

The sound of her beating heart filled her ears, reminding
her that all of life started with the basics. Blood moving through the veins.
Touch. The tickle of each drop of water as gravity pulled the molecules down
her body. Starting at her toes, she wiggled each digit, digging them into the
cotton shag, then flexed each muscle in her legs from the calves to her thighs.
All the way up her body she worked tendon and tissue, stretching, twisting, bending
her limbs.

Wasn’t one supposed to be thankful for the little things in
life? Here she stood, able to function and move with ease. She had a roof over
her head and a job to pay the bills and keep food on the table. Those were the
important things, right? Everything else was fluff. Inconsequential bullshit
that meant nothing and stayed behind once you died.

Bale. The Claymore. The entire assassin-from-outer-space
situation were complications, not insurmountable obstacles that prevented her
from living a fulfilling life. She alone was in control of her destiny and
future happiness.

Just as Bale was in control of his.

Yes, everyone needed to let off some steam, but the extent
to which he wallowed in his guilt was not healthy. At some point he was really
going to break and she had no idea how to sweep up the remains of an explosion
destined to hit epic on the Richter scale.

An itch began in the middle of her right palm and radiated
out through her fingers. She pressed her thumb into the center and turned her hand
to the front and back, searching for any visible sign of her altercation with
Bale. The power she had wielded with the dowel had been frightening and
empowering. To have that much control over another’s well-being was a heady
sensation and had the ability to blaze out of control in a nanosecond. Bondage,
a little rough sex, she was ready and willing, but the night had turned into
something deeper, darker, much more dangerous for the uneducated. And she had
the feeling she had gotten lucky earlier and all had turned out as she planned.
If she and Bale were to continue as a pair, instinct was not going to be enough
to keep either of them from getting hurt.

If Bale and she were to continue…

Big if. No, she hadn’t gotten over his past history, but she
loved him. She ached for him. She was willing to take a chance. Focus on the
now, just as she did her breathing. Could Bale?

The last of the big droplets of water settled into a fine
mist and the cool air sent bumps across her skin. She tugged a towel around her
shoulders like a blanket. Her limbs were active, but carried all the strength
of pudding. There were what, fifteen, twenty steps to the bed. Lord help her
make it to the soft mattress.

The bedside lamp glowed bright and cheery in the corner.
Normally that would be a welcome sight, but wrong since she hadn’t bothered to
turn it on when she had stalked straight to the bathroom when she’d returned.

“Ariel.”

Bale stood in the bedroom doorway. His hair was damp as if
he had just showered as well. A black shirt stretched across his chest and the
soft-looking exercise pants made a smile tickle her lips. Wow. He actually
owned a pair of pants that were not jeans.

Deep lines bracketed his mouth and his dark brows were
lowered with uncertainty. One bare foot was pointed toward the exit as if he
expected to be kicked out at a moment’s notice. He was beautiful and tragic,
and if she had the strength, she’d weep for all that had happened to him. As it
was, all she managed was to shake like a naked poplar tree that had all its
leaves blown away by a storm.

“I understand now, Ari.” He sighed and crossed to her side
to scoop her up in his arms. “I need to hold you. May I?”

Exhaustion and her own need to be held made her compliant.
The fact that his body was toasty warm and eased her chills was an added bonus
she was too greedy to deny.

Neither made a sound as he tucked her beneath the sheets and
molded her to his side. While he stroked one hand along her spine, the fingers
of his free hand traced a delicate line from her brow to her chin. With one of
his broad hands he could completely cover her face or crush her bones with one
blow, yet his touch was so gentle, so tender and reverent her heart ached all
the more.

In his eyes she saw his fear that she would still reject
him, his regret at not being able to voice what was in his heart, his love, his
apology.

“Ariel,” he whispered, his voice breaking as moisture made
the black of his eyes glitter.

She whimpered and tears she didn’t believe she had left
trickled down her cheeks. Funny. Here she thought she needed a litany of words
but in actuality, she just needed one. In that one word she heard his love.
Heard the emotions he didn’t know how to verbally express unless he was beaten
into submission. Just the sound of her name coming from his lips told her all
he felt in his heart.

“You undo me,
liera
.” He gathered her close and
dropped light kisses to her trembling lips. “I swear I will do all that I can
to never give you cause to cry anything but happy tears.”

“I am happy.”

“I know otherwise.”

Shit. That was right. He could read her emotions. However,
reading and understanding were two different things. “I’m overwhelmed and
exhausted. Confused and pretty much out of my mind right now.”

“And yet you still claim to love me,” he said with
disbelief.

“Yeah, I do. Crazy as that seems.” She scraped her
fingernails over the stubble on his cheeks. “Do you— Do you think you’ll be
able to love me? Even though I’m not your wife?”

“Ah, Ariel.” He touched his forehead to hers. “I love you
for your differences as much as your similarities.”

“But her death drove you to madness. You killed for her.”

“I will kill for you too.”

“Bale—”

“Ari, I love you so much that at times I-I—” He choked and
his lips curled over his teeth. “You are mine to love. Mine to protect. No
matter the cost. My thirst for revenge is no more, but make no mistake. I will
protect you to the death, whether it be mine or whoever threatens you. This I
vow.”

The fierce intensity of his promise brought forth more
tears. “God, what is wrong with me that I can’t stop crying? I need to be more
like you. Strong like a rock.”

“No.” His brow furrowed as his nostrils flared and the
muscles in his jaw tightened. With an open palm he tapped at the center of his
chest. “Inside,” he rasped and swallowed hard, slapping his chest again.
“Inside.”

The rawness in his voice broke through the last of her
reserves and she melted in his arms, wrapping her limbs around them as they
both shook with emotion.

Bale was the man for her. This broken warrior who loved so
deep, he allowed it to consume him. This man who spoke very little, but lived
by each word. There was no doubt he would fight against any demons out to harm
them, just as she would battle the demons of his past and keep him in the
light. Together, they were unstoppable. As long as they trusted in each other.

“Bale, promise me.” She rubbed her cheek against his chest.
“You’ll let me know how you feel. You don’t have to say anything, just let me
know, somehow, that you’re okay. We’re okay. I don’t want to be going along,
thinking everything is fine and dandy then come home to find you hanging from
the ceiling in chains. Please.”

“Done.” He kissed the top of her head.

“If only I had your power to sense emotions. It must be nice
to have that knowledge about someone.”

In her arms Bale tensed. His hand paused mid-sweep down her
back and she swore she heard his heart skip a beat.

She froze along with him. Obviously she had said something
that struck a nerve but damn if she knew what it was. After all they had been
through that night, and all the things he’d confessed to, what had she said to
make him tense up as if she had asked him to shed his skin?

“No.” He hugged her tight as she tried to move away. When he
tipped her chin up, she saw that pinched expression on his face again. “Do not
pull away. You know, for a human, you are quite adapt at picking up on my
emotions, but I understand what you are saying,” he drew in a breath, “and
there is a way.”

She didn’t move, didn’t dare blink as her throat tightened.
Surely he wasn’t going to suggest the merge or mind-meld or whatever it was
Amaryllis called it?

“We could bond.”

Shit. That was the word. “Are you serious?” she screeched.

Did she want to be with him? Yes. Did she want to be
confident of his feelings for her? Of course. But to go from dating to bonded
mates was a huge leap. “Why would you even suggest that?”

He jerked back in surprise. “Do you know what it means to
bond?”

“Yes. Well, a little. Amaryllis filled me in. You join our
emotions together. Forever. In an unbreakable bond.”

“That is correct.”

“It is a bond so strong it can transcend death.”

“Ya.”

“Ya,” she repeated with a hysterical chuckle. “Are you
saying you want to bond with me?”

“Ya.”

“I don’t understand. Why? Why me? Why me and not,” she laid
her hand over the tattoo on his chest, “and not her.”

Bale sighed and lifted her hand to place a kiss on the
knuckles. “I didn’t trust Natalia with what I carried in my soul. I never gave
her the opportunity and that is a decision I will always regret. I know what it
feels like to lose everything. I don’t want to lose you, Ari. You have seen my
darkness and you’re still here. Touching me. Loving me. I may be stupid, but
I’m not a fool. I learn from my mistakes. You are what I need, and more
importantly, I want to be what you need.”

When he gazed upon her and stroked the curve of her cheek as
if she were the most precious object in existence, it wasn’t difficult to fall
even more in love with him. Her brain cautioned her to step back and consider
the matter for, like, years, while her heart pounded with the urgency to say
yes and claim him for all time.

“You and me?” she asked, still in disbelief as to what he
was proposing.

Bale nodded.

“Forever and ever?”

“If you wish.”

She held her breath, as did Bale. As her heart thumped he
didn’t make a sound or do anything to sway her decision. Their future together
was entirely in her hands.

Stars floated in her vision as she released a breath. “I
wish.”

Bale blinked once, then twice and shook his head to try to
stop the ringing in his ears. Did Ari agree to be his bonded mate? Of course
that was what he wanted, but was his dream really coming true?

“You wish?”

The loveliness of her smile blinded him in the shadowed
bedroom. “I wish. I choose you, Bale. I choose us.”

Euphoria rippled up his chest and he felt the muscles of his
face stretch into the biggest smile he’d bet money he’d ever produced. “You are
certain?”

She laughed “I’m certain. Can’t you tell?”

“Ya.” Bubbles wrapped around his body and kissed his skin.
“But I want to hear it from your lips.”

Those wonderfully full lips curled into a grin before she
lifted up to kiss him. “I want to be bonded to you.”

Tears stung his eyes as he laughed with unadulterated joy
and held her close to his hearts, thanking the Gods for granting him a second
chance. Hell, more like the seventh or eighth, if he were to be honest.

Ari had been the last person he had expected to walk into
that storage room earlier that evening. Of course he figured she’d hear about
his self-imposed punishment from Amaryllis, but never did he dream she would
confront him so soon.

Gods, she had been magnificent, staring down a killer with
nary a flinch. So strong, so powerful in her convictions even though he felt
her terror at facing the unknown crawl beneath his skin. Yet she had stayed
with him, argued with him and loved him with an intensity that cut him off at
the knees. She had displayed more bravery than most of the revolutionaries he
had fought. She was his match. Instead of his darkness overpowering her light,
her brilliance banished the shadows. Until his dying day he would put his all
into being worthy of her trust.

“Come here,
liera
.” He drew her to the edge of the
bed and knelt on the floor between her knees. The quest to worthiness began with
asking her properly. Taking her hands, he placed them on his chest over each
heart. “Ariel Rayner, will you do me the honor of speaking the Sacred Vows and
becoming my bonded mate?”

A warm, velvet clasp of love wrapped around him and stole
into his soul as she smiled down on him with love shining in her sapphire eyes.
“Yes, Bale…Llanos? That is your name, right?”

He laughed and dropped a kiss into each of her palms before
sealing his lips over hers, drinking in her love and giving his in return. Ari
sank into his embrace, but her hands were strong as she guided him to lie on
top of her and wrapped her legs around his waist. With a frustrated growl, he
pulled away and whipped his shirt over his head. The barrier of his clothes
between their skin was too much to bear for a second longer.

“What’s your rush?” She giggled as he tore at his pants.

“We don’t have much time before I am taken away. I want to
spend every possible second in your arms.”

“Wait. What?” She sat up. “Taken away?”

“Do you not remember?”

“Obviously not.”

“Captain DeWinter expects my answer at five p.m. tonight
otherwise he will seek me out at The Cavern. Either I help him capture a
criminal, or he will arrest me for the crimes I’ve committed as the Claymore.”