HeroRising (24 page)

Ari held her breath as Amaryllis’ eyes filled with tears
before she looked down at her lap. Her pink-tipped nails plucked at the fluffy
fabric.

“My mother was killed while trying to make peace with the
revolutionaries. Lucian’s brother was the head of her guard and was punished
for his failure. He was offered banishment or death. He chose banishment.
Lucian stood by his brother’s side, and they were sent here.” A small grin
broke free. “He wanted to keep an eye on me. But that’s another story. Without
Lucian, my father’s crown fell and he was executed. To ensure that no member of
the royal family existed to retake the throne, the new regime hired an assassin
to come to Earth and kill me.”

“Bale. Bale was sent to kill you?”

“And Lucian and his brother.”

“That’s insane.” She jumped off the couch, so stunned she
barely registered the hot tea as it sloshed over her hands. “And you still
speak to him? Invite him into your home?”

“Ari. Sit down. This is my story.” She reached out and
grabbed a fistful of skirt, tugging her back onto her seat. “I haven’t reached
my point yet.”

“This better be the holy grail of all morals.”

“You’ll see.” She laughed. “Yes, Bale was sent to kill me.
But he wasn’t acting on greed for money or the thrill of the hunt. He was
angry. He was wounded. And he was severely misguided. Did Bale explain our
powers?”

“No. Not really.”

“The strength and speed we inherited when we arrived on this
planet. On Skandavia the only power we have is empathy. There are many
instances where verbal or visual communication is limited, so our species have
developed the ability to read each other’s emotions. That power is magnified a
thousand-fold when a couple chooses to bond and meshes their emotions together.
The bond is so strong, it lasts vast distances, even time.” She smoothed down a
lock of her sable hair and smiled. “I used to have silver hair, but then I
bonded with Lucian and inherited his hair color, and his green eyes turned
lavender. All bonded mates share coloring to reflect their connection.”

“Wait a minute. So all of this time you’ve been able to know
what I’m feeling?” The horrible realization stabbed her through the ribs. “Bale
has known what I’ve been feeling?”

“Yes. That is why your grief affected him so greatly. As a
human, you have no filter on your emotions, and Bale has a difficult time
handling such purity. Even from my apartment I was able to sense your pain like
I was trapped in an avalanche of rocks underwater. For Bale, you absolutely
leveled him, but that’s not my point. You see, Bale never bonded with his wife
and that was why he was so angry at the world. Once bonded, your entire being
is opened to the other. There is no hiding, no secrets, and Bale didn’t trust
his wife with truth of the darkness that lives inside a
Llanos
warrior.
There’s a hardness, an infinity for violence and an intense sex drive, which
you’ve experienced, and he felt she was too delicate to understand who he was.
When she was killed, he felt as if he failed her as a protector and a husband
and the guilt drove him mad.”

“That doesn’t excuse him from trying to kill you.”

“No, it doesn’t. But I forgave him. Once I was able to make
him realize that killing was not the way to honor his family, that is when he
turned into the vigilante. To protect those who could not protect themselves.
But he fights with that guilt every day. Believe me when I say no one hates
Bale more than himself.”

“But I don’t hate—” She sucked in the words before they
spilled into the air where they could never be taken back.

She did hate Bale. Didn’t she? By all rights, she should
despise him because… He made bad choices in the past and had the audacity to
try to make up for it? God, that made her sound so shallow. But she was
supposed to hate him, right?

She dropped her face into her hand and groaned. “I don’t
know what to think anymore.”

“Let me add one more thought to consider.”

“Must you?”

“Yes.” She patted her on the knee. “War makes monsters out
of even the best of men. Whether they are a villain or hero depends on which
side they are fighting on. A soldier in combat is instructed to kill the enemy.
What if that enemy is just a man, much like the soldier, who was forced to
fight by his government or watch his family be killed? He may not believe what
he is fighting for, but he has no choice so he takes up arms. Aren’t these
soldiers paid to defend and protect? Aren’t they paid to kill? It is all about
prospective, Ari. Not everyone is one hundred percent guilty nor one hundred
percent innocent. There is no black and white but an infinite number of shades
of gray.”

Ari sighed and rested her head against the back of the sofa.
“This sucks. I don’t want to be an adult anymore. Even the crappiness of my
childhood was easier to traverse than this mess.”

“But not nearly as much fun.” The chirp of Amaryllis’
cellphone interrupted her laughter. She frowned at the display before she
answered. “Hello, Jorges.”

The way Amaryllis stilled and her gaze shot in her direction
made Ari hold her breath and the hairs on her arms stand on end. Whatever
Jorges was saying had to be about Bale.

“We’re on our way. Thank you, my friend.” Amaryllis ended
the call and closed her eyes. She let out a slow breath as she shook her head.
“Oh, Bale. The man is fortunate I love him so. Come along, Ari. We are needed.”

Amaryllis allowed her just enough time to change out of her
work clothes into a more comfortable skirt and ballet flats before pushing her
out the door and toward the elevator.

“Explain now.” Ari stood before the closed elevator doors
with arms crossed in defiance. She refused to enter a situation without any
hint of preparedness.

“We’ll talk while we walk.”

“Where are we going?”

“There’s a storage unit down on the lowest level. That’s
were Bale and Jorges are.” The doors opened and they stepped inside. “I told
you, no one is harder on Bale than Bale. From what Jorges has discerned, Bale
wanted to prove to you he can atone for his crimes and tried to turn himself in
to the police. Apparently that plan didn’t turn out well and they declined to
arrest him.”

“Seriously? If he confessed, why not?”

“We’ll have to get that story from Bale. With the attempt to
prove himself to you foiled, he contacted Jorges to bring him the chain.”

Chills ran down her neck as images of gladiators swinging
lengths of chain at each other in dark, humid rooms with blood and sweat flying
everywhere flashed through her mind. “What does
that
mean?”

The elevator doors opened, revealing a hallway with concrete
floors and walls that looked as welcoming as a prison cell. The dampness and
creepy shadows did not help her nerves.

“By accident Lucian and his brother discovered a mineral
here on Earth that steals our powers.”

“You mean like Superman and kryptonite?”

“Similar, yes. There was a man who discovered a way to
harness the strength of this mineral on its own and fashioned several products,
including a chain we used to restrain Bale when he was bent on his revenge.
Afterward we gave the chain to Jorges for safekeeping since none of us from
Skandavia are able to handle it.”

“So Bale asked Jorges for this chain to what, steal his
powers?”

“My guess is that’s part of the reason. Believe it or not,
Bale is an honorable man. He wanted to be punished for his failure to protect
his family. I gave that to him. If he is seeking punishment for the crimes he
has committed afterward, this may be his way to obtain it.”

They rounded a corner and saw Jorges standing in front of a
closed door. He crossed to meet them and placed a hand on each of their
shoulders, bringing them into a huddle.

“How is he, Jorges?” Amaryllis asked in a hushed tone.

“Quiet and determined, which is not unusual for Bale, but
something about the way he’s acting makes me want to hug the guy. I take it you
two had a fight?” he asked Ari.

“Kind of. Sort of.” She let out a huff. “I found out…things.
Scary things.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “I understand. I’m afraid of what’s going
to happen if Miranda ever finds out about all of this Saturn business.”

“You’ve never told her?” How could he have kept such a
secret so quiet? Especially since she worked so closely with Amaryllis.

“It’s not my secret to tell.”

“Tell her, Jorges.”

The both looked to Amaryllis in surprise. His eyebrows rose
to his hairline. “What?”

“Tell her.” She laid her hand on his cheek. “She’s family
and has earned the right to know the truth.”

“Okay. But if she takes it poorly, I’m not going the Bale
route.”

“Were you ever an assassin?” Ari asked.

“No.”

“Then she won’t take it as poorly as me.”

“Good point. So I can leave our boy in your hands?”

“Definitely.” Amaryllis kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” He squeezed Ari’s shoulder. “Good luck.”

As Jorges walked away, Ari turned to face the closed door to
the storage room and felt her heart climb into her throat. “What now?”

Amaryllis settled her hands on her hips and cocked her head.
“Well, the last time I used a whip to help him break through his guilt.”

“You whipped him!” Would the mental shocks never end?

“Do not fret. I didn’t beat him. I didn’t even break the
skin. I told you, he wanted punishment for his failure, and the pain helped him
to break away from his perceptions and see the truth. It appears he may need
that lesson again.”

“So you’re going to go in there and whip him?”

“No. You are.”

“Are you insane?” she hissed. “I’m not whipping anyone.”

“Ari.” Amaryllis grabbed her around the biceps and gave her
a shake. “Bale needs you just as much as you need him. I know you’ve received a
lot of extraordinary information in a very short time, but I know you are
strong enough to handle this. You don’t have to whip him, but you do have to go
in and see to his needs. Only you will be able to provide that for him. I have
faith in you.”

There was no controlling the tremble in her voice. “I have
no idea how to handle a restrained alien with masochistic yearnings.”

Amaryllis smiled. “Maybe. Maybe not. But you know how to
handle Bale. You can do this. Now go.”

Ari stumbled as Amaryllis gave her a friendly shove. The
solid steel door grew larger and larger with each timid step. What was waiting
for her on the other side? The possibilities made her shudder as adrenaline raced
through her system. The fight-or-flight instinct was most certainly kicking in.
Too bad she couldn’t decide which path to choose.

“Ari. If I had asked you to tell me how you felt about Bale
before tonight, what would you have said?”

She glanced over her should and saw in Amaryllis’ smile that
she already knew the answer. “I love him.”

“Why?”

“Because.” She swallowed as the undeniable truth burned her
throat. “Because he fights for those who cannot fight for themselves. And
because he has done nothing but try to give me everything I wanted.”

”I believe you.” Amaryllis nodded with encouragement. “He’s
worth the second chance.”

Ari sucked in the positive reinforcement. Damn it. Amaryllis
was right. No matter how much Ari wished it to be otherwise, her feelings for
Bale weren’t going to shut off and disappear as if they had never existed. At
some point she was going to have to confront her feelings for the big man. Now
was just as good a time as any, however this rip-the-bandage-off method was
destined to be painful.

The handle was a block of ice against her palm as she opened
the door and crept inside. Boxes and stacks of chairs created an eerie maze of
shadows in the dimly lit room. From the corner she heard the soft rattle of
chain-on-chain and she inched her way in that direction.

Around a stack of short cocktail tables, she stopped
suddenly as she caught sight of Bale.

In the chilly room his face and torso glistened with sweat
and his head lolled to the side to rest against his arms that were stretched to
the sky. A thick chain wound around his wrists and snaked down each arm,
crossing over his chest before continuing down each leg. His skin had lost its
golden glow and his lips appeared pale and parched.

Bale wasn’t just weak, he appeared as if he were dying and
her heart lurched. He asked for this? He wanted to suffer? What was he
thinking?

Fear for his health propelled her into the small pool of
light. “Bale, what are you doing?”

He started and cracked opened his eyes. “Ari? What are you
doing here?”

“I asked you first.” She gestured at the chain then around
the room. “What is this? Why did you ask to be hurt this way?”

He shook his head and sighed. The movement rattled the
chains and the sound set her teeth on edge. “I sullied you with my darkness. I
broke you and that is unforgiveable.”

“You didn’t break me. Shocked the hell out of me, yes, but
I’m not broken.”

“Aren’t you?” he spat, although he appeared more angry at
himself than at her. “You got sick. Your voice is damaged. I did that to you.”

“You didn’t—” Tears choked her as she processed the
implication of his words.

Was she broken? Forever changed, absolutely, but was she
broken? And what did broken mean? Obviously she was able to function, but was
she now damaged, like he claimed? Would she no longer be able to face the
world? No longer be able to exist as a loving, compassionate, trusting person
again?

God, the thought was depressing. And weak. He made her sound
weak and frail and that just pissed her off.

She was Ari Rayner. Each time life knocked her on her ass,
she got up, dusted herself off and got back to living. Her mother with her
revolving door of husbands and Anthony’s betrayal hadn’t kept her down, and by
God she wasn’t going to allow Bale and all of his whatever-you-call-it prevent
her from getting up every morning and having a happy and productive life.

“I am injured. But make no mistake, I am not broken. Now
explain to me what all of this,” she waved her hands around, “is about.”

“The man you spoke to at the bar.” He shuddered and swayed
on his feet. “He is a police officer and was tasked with capturing the
vigilante. I went to him and turned myself in.”

“Why would you do that?” If what Amaryllis said was true,
his work as the Claymore was his sole reason for living.

“I wanted to prove to you that I am willing to pay for my
crimes.”

“So you were willing to give up your work? Just like that?”
She snapped her fingers.

“For you. Yes.”

“What about your wife?” she whispered.

The air stilled and she saw every muscle in Bale’s chest and
arms tense as his eyes widened. The chains rattled as he began to shake and his
mouth moved as if trying to speak, yet he didn’t say a word.

“What about your wife, Bale?” She stepped closer. “All night
long I’ve been hearing about the vow you made to honor her. How all of the bad
you’ve done has been in her and your daughter’s name. And you’re telling me
that you were willing to give up that vow? For me?”

The harsh in-and-out of his breathing brought her to tears,
but she refused to break her gaze. Damn the man. The words were there, swimming
in his dark eyes and hovering behind the tremble of his lips, all he had to do
was say them.

“Tell me, Bale.”

“I—Ari.” He closed his eyes and hung his head.

“Damn it, Bale. Tell me,” she shouted and closed the
distance between them and cupped his face. Her fingers curled with her
frustration, but she restrained the urge to claw at his cheeks. If there was
any hope for them, he had to talk to her. This was too important to guess at
his reasons. “Why would you break your vow?”

And still he remained silent.

Frustration bubbled over into anger as he continued to
shake. “Are you fucking kidding me? Just tell me. Or are you too much of a
pussy?” She pushed against his chest and as the chains swung him back in her
direction she slapped at him again as her anger erupted. His relieved sigh
drove her into a blinding rage.

“Is that it? Amaryllis said she had to whip you into a
confession. Is that what I have to do? Beat you senseless?” She slapped at his
right arm, then his left, over and over until her palms stung. “You sick fuck.”

The dam broke inside her and a great sob burst forth
followed by another then another as she fell to her knees.

What was she doing? What had she become? Giving in to the
violence wasn’t going to solve anything. Couldn’t he see she was willing to
hear him out? If he cared about her one bit, he’d try to help her understand
his thoughts, his motivations. He would confirm that her love was not one-sided
and that all this shit she was going through was not in vain. She needed to be
secure in the knowledge that if she forgave him of his past, it wouldn’t come
back and bite her in the ass later. The future was never for certain, but he
had to give her something to go on. Where was her hope?

“Ari, love, please don’t cry.” Bale’s plea brought her head
up. “I love you. I’m sorry. I love you and you don’t deserve this. I’m not
worth your tears.”

At his profession her hands flew up to press against the
ache in her chest.

He loved her. Did he really? The Bale she thought she knew
would not have said those words unless he meant them. So why wouldn’t he answer
her questions?

For her, love meant pushing aside all rational thought for
the slightest chance of happily ever after. Love meant walking through fire for
another. Love meant entering a dark room not knowing what lay in wait to
confront a man you want to give everything to with the knowledge that blood
stained his hands. Love meant risk and here she was stripped bare, trying to
understand him, and he couldn’t even muster the courage to answer her with the
truth. He was the fighter, yet he wouldn’t fight for her. Wasn’t she worth the
effort?

“You’re right.” She stood and swiped at her cheek with her
sleeve. “I don’t deserve to be used as an excuse for you to be a fucking
martyr. Obviously this has nothing to do with me.”

“No. Wait. Don’t go,” he cried as she turned. “This has
everything to do with you. Ari…I don’t have the right words to say. I can’t
phrase it perfectly.”

“Any words are better than none. They don’t have to be perfect.
They only have to come from the heart.”

“My heart.” He chuckled without mirth. “In my case that is
two hearts, and I mean that literally and figuratively.”

Silence descended while she waited for him to continue. And
waited and waited as the chains creaked and her teeth chattered. With a last
sigh, any hope she had that he would finally open up died. He was never going
to change.

As her foot shifted to leave he pinned her with a hard stare
that froze her in place. His eyes glittered with his tears as he croaked, “I
love you, Ariel. And I love my wife. Reconciling those two thoughts has not
been easy for me. You two are so different. She was delicate and calm. You are
strong, a fighter, a force of nature that frightens me at times with your
intensity. But you are both kind, compassionate, and unfortunate enough to have
me fall in love with you. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Absolutely
nothing.”