Heroine: California Dreamin' (36 page)

“Do you also have music? Then it is even more exciting”, I encouraged them. They brought some music and the guys got more and more excited. Gerd searched his CD collection for an eternity in the corner until he held up a CD with a broad smile on his face. Without even looking at the cover I was sure that I would dance along with Joe Cocker.
“You can leave your hat on”
. I looked around to find a hat somewhere. There was none. I had to improvise. Joe Cocker began to sing. I liked his voice. I really would love to dance for him one day.

My clothes were already on the floor and I had wiggled my rear end long enough before their faces. It was the third or fourth time that Joe Cocker was searching for the bloody hat. I kneeled down before Igor. I would start with him.

I practiced my art for several minutes. He was satisfied. The next two received the same treatment.

I opened the pants of the one before last and when I saw his penis I remembered where I knew Achim from. It was him who, together with Igor, Tom and Horst, had arranged the introduction at Erich’s party. The
strange thin tail. I looked up and laughed. Less because of what I what I was facing but rather because I shared with him an exciting and horny memory.

However, Achim got that into the wrong throat. Suddenly I saw stars, keeled over to my side and felt a burning sensation in my face. He had beat me! A metallic taste in my mouth signaled to me that I was bleeding from the mouth. All that happened in less than a second.

“Are you totally nuts?” I heard Igor yell out. He scrambled passed by me. Then I saw how a punch with the fist threw Achim backwards.

“How often did I tell you idiots that nobody may touch her?! You fucking bastard will not ruin my business! Do you really think that Evgeni will accept this broad when she has a scare in her face? Do you fucking Germans always have to turn to violence if something doesn’t go your way? …” His tirade went on for a felt couple of hours. Then Igor stood before me and held my chin in his hand. He looked me in the eyes quietly. The shock had been too bad. I couldn’t hold back any longer and cried out loud.

“Relax, Julie.” It was the first time that I heard him say my name. It seemed that I existed to him as a human being after all.

“That is only a rupture in your cheek. Everything is still in place with you. Until Saturday it will have healed.” He said with a quiet voice to me. He actually took me into his arms. I felt a wave of gratitude coming right from my heart. Igor protected me.

“Gerd, you better thank Achim that you’ve missed your turn”, my protector growled.

“If you still need something go get yourself a girl. Achim will fit for the bill.”

Gerd grinned politely but he was pale as a sheet just as the bouncer who just got up with great efforts.

“Ruud, bring her into her room. We had our fun.” I felt cold. I noticed that I was still stark naked. Just as I was about getting dressed Ruud grabbed my arm.

“Take that shit under your arm and see that you get out of here”, he snapped at me. He was angry. Igor was already on the stairs. I lowered my head and obeyed. A few minutes later the metal door closed behind me. I remained lying on the bed. My tears wouldn’t do any good here. I had to think things through. I had time for that until Saturday afternoon. Once in a while one of the bodyguards would hand me a bag with food. And I didn’t face Achim again until Saturday. Robert’s ghost didn’t reappear either. It probably was a hallucination that was triggered by drinking too much alcohol the day before. But I was not a hundred percent sure of that.

When the door opened I knew it was time for my next appearance. In my tight little prison I had lost any feeling for time. So far I had heard only the footsteps of Gerd or Ruud when they brought me my food but now it was the sound of high heels on the steps that announced to me the start of my first working day. The little wound in my mouth had completely healed as Igor had predicted. So it was Saturday.

Lisa and Gerd entered my room. The woman greeted me friendly with a big hug as if we knew each other for a long time. Lisa was here to help me to get ready. Gerd was the person to ‘guard’ us. He had obviously problems to focus on his ‘guard’ job.

Soon thereafter they took me into the room where they had introduced me into my new ‘occupation’ on the first day. Igor sat behind his desk from where I had received my working contract for the rest of my life. He screened me from top to bottom and he was satisfied.

“Listen to me. What I tell you now I don’t wonna have to repeat it all the time.” I nodded smiling. After all I was the stupid one.

“This evening you’ll be going with Ruud and Achim to a party. There will be only a limited number of people. The party goes down in a villa in Bonn. So far you are quite familiar with the setup. There is hardly any difference to your previous jobs. Only some small changes. The deal has been done. For you it is your last appearance in this country. Evgeni will pick you up on Monday or Tuesday. You are bloody lucky - I must say - that you can pay off your debts that quickly. Although it is only a small part. But I probably wouldn’t have made much more if I had used you here.” He breathed in some air.

“In order not to risk the done deal if your body should show some ‘wear and tear’ after the party I’ve talked to the organizer. He will take care that you’ll leave the party unscathed. No bruises, no wounds. You’ll look like the way you went in. Ruud, Achim you’ll make sure that she doesn’t go nuts and fuck these people into the ground. When she’s done with everybody you grab her and drag her out of there. As you can see we only mean your best.” I kept silent when he looked at me directly.

“The most important thing is that every one of those dudes will wear a condom tonight. Nobody will touch you if he isn’t protected. When I’ll send you on your way next week and you’ll have gonorrhea or something else they’ll send you back to me at once. And we both don’t want that to happen.” I pondered that option for a moment if that would give me an opportunity for a return ticket. Then I remembered what Igor had told me about the oil billionaire’s camels. If that guy treated his women like his camels? Didn’t he send them to the slaughterhouse? I didn’t even know where Uzbekistan was on the map, let alone that I knew anything about their customs there.

Based on that I had formed a picture of that country in my head in the course of the last few days; a country where women are being treated like goods or livestock. Or even getting slaughtered like those. If my mental picture was idiotic then I could still apologize to the poor Uzbeks. But when you are incarcerated in a window-less room without any contact then your imaginations develop some dynamics that can no longer be controlled.

“Now, let’s get you ready.” Igor pulled out a syringe from the side of his desk that had been filled with a pink liquid. He had announced it. I felt the upcoming panic. He removed the plastic from a cannula and pushed it on the syringe. What it meant to me was that the syringe was sterile and had not already been used as with junkies. But that didn’t make things really easier.

My gynecologist’s sentences swooshed through my ears.
‘If they inject you that stuff it makes you addictive …
’Paul had told me. I couldn’t think of anything more intelligent than to ask Igor if they hopefully had alcohol at my future husband in Uzbekistan.

“I just had about enough of that”, Igor barked back. “He is a decent human being and a good Muslim. He will certainly not allow the use of addictive drugs over there. They only drink tea. How can you ask such stupid questions?” The needle went straight into my arm.

For a short moment I didn’t feel anything. Two, three, ten, twenty heartbeats passed by and I felt a little bit of hope sprouting in me. Perhaps the drug had no longer an effect on me?

A second later fireworks went off in my head. Molten magma rushed through my veins. I saw colors and heard music that couldn’t exist. My skin felt like thousands of delicate feathers touched it in every spot. Then I heard Igor’s voice.

“Dammit, that was probably too much. She’s still not gotten used to it.”

I was happy. In the evening we got out of the car in front of a large villa in Bonn and I met a lot of people. Women and men were already a bit older, some of the men had gray hair or they were bald but they greeted me nicely and showed me that they liked me and that I was one of them. Life was so beautiful and I enjoyed it with every fiber of my body. I was surrounded by people who loved me and who I loved and I just wanted to do one thing: to melt together with them and to also give them the possibility to see what I was seeing, to feel what I was feeling, to breathe in those wonderful sounds that vibrated in my body. Ten or twelve men and women were with me in one large room and we shared our love for one another. I was aware of what was happening and I also knew that I experienced the trip much more intensely than the first time at Erich. But I couldn’t control it. My two companions intervened a few times. And I didn’t understand why.

I woke up from the most beautiful dream that was ever dreamed by anybody on the backseat of a large limousine. I knew there was a paradise. In front of the car sat Ruud and Achim. I was eager to share my experience with them and grabbed Achim’s shoulder.

“Shit, the slut is awake again”, Achim grunted. Why did he talk to me in that way when I loved him so much? The car stopped. Ruud got out and came back a little bit later. He held a cup of coffee in his hand. I drank slowly because I knew I had to do that. Ruud had told me because he loved me. And I loved him and therefore I did what he asked me to do. Sometimes later my head cleared up a little and I became aware that I was still under the influence of the drug but couldn’t do anything about it. Ruud brought me another coffee and slowly, very slowly I regained control over my body again. And I felt that I was as horny as I had never been before in my life. I looked at the two and said:

“Fuck me now or I explode. Let’s go and do something”. I grabbed Ruud between the legs. They both looked at one another. From somewhere Ruud produced a pack of condoms. They grinned. I couldn’t get enough but they were, much to my regret, soon totally exhausted.

“Igor is waiting. He will rip off our balls if we won’t show up soon. Get dressed now, we have to go.” Unsatisfied I obeyed their instructions.

Only now I noticed the way back, in particular because there was a stench like in the close proximity of chemical plant. We drove through a traffic circle and soon reached some streets featuring old houses from the nineteenth century. When a garage door opened up squeaking before the car and closed again behind us I knew I was home. I laughed and was happy.

Igor was waiting in his office behind his desk and looked quite disgruntled. He briefly took report from his two bullies who had now become my best friends as they told him about the evening. Both kept their mouth shut that we had shared our love making just a short while ago.

Igor was the one who didn’t get any. That was unjust! Spontaneously I stripped down my shirt under which I was stark naked and jumped on Igor’s lap giving him a big hug and a long a deep French kiss.

“Thank you. That was a splendid evening. Please let me also thank you.” Another long kiss. He liked it. I got up and wiggled down my pants, kicked them in the corner and opened Igor’s zipper.

“Please take me. I need you now or I will explode.”

“Get the fuck out of here”, he snarled at Ruud and Achim. Why wouldn’t he let them in here? I needed rather three men than just one. Then I rode my protector. I gave it everything I had. Before he came I took a short break and reduced the frequency.

“Darling. I urgently need my purse. I have my makeup stuff in there. And my tampons. And my contraceptives. Ever since I came here I haven’t taken any. But if you don’t want me to be on the pill then I won’t take it. But then I want a child only from you.”

“Have you gone bonkers? I can’t send you away if you are pregnant. Holy fucking shit. Since when do you know about it?”

“But I’m not pregnant yet. At least I don’t think so. But my period is due now so I will know about it soon. Therefore I need my pills and my tampons.” Pouting again I looked at him from below.

“With those I’ll be able to manage my cycle again.”

I had figured Igor correctly. He knew nothing about those female problems. Gruntingly he reached behind the cupboard door at his desk and handed me my purse. Then he hesitated and reached once more into the purse with his hand. He pulled out the pink cell phone with its pretty ornaments.

“That will stay here.” Smiling I shrugged my shoulders and sat down again on his lap. I had what I wanted. Without this trick I wouldn’t have gotten my purse back.

“Can we continue?” He pulled a condom from his pants’ pocket and laughed. I waited until he’d put it on. Then I rode him until he came screaming.

Igor called out for Ruud. I should rest now. Ruud took me back to my prison cell. 

Back in my chamber I threw my purse into a corner and stretched out on the bed. I was content. The emptiness had not returned and I still felt excited. Perhaps it was best for me to work voluntarily for Igor as a professional whore. But I had to prevent Igor from selling me to Uzbekistan or whatever the name was under all circumstances.

Sometime in the day I woke up. All my bones in my body hurt. I was freezing cold. The happy colors from the night before had given way to pale disgusting lights. Even my skin hurt as if I had burn marks all over.

I knew what it was. The effects of the RSD had worn off and I had a drug hangover. Igor had given me too much of the stuff. Soon I didn’t know how I should lie, sit or stand – such agony was triggered by the effect of the drug wearing off.

But I did also know from Paul that this would all pass soon and I would then maintain a steady jovial prevailing mood for weeks. The hangover came from the heroine but that had already helped the other drugs to turn the switches in my brain. Only after many days the effect would disappear. Then the panic attacks would reappear. And then I would finally need pain killers.

Right now I needed a somewhat clear head.

I took my purse into the bathroom and opened it. My old cell phone was still in the hidden compartment. They hadn’t found it. I listened. Everything was quiet in the house. I waited for a while then I turned the cell phone on. The battery display showed a low charge, only one bar left. Some writing indicated
‘battery almost empty’
. I pulled myself together and carefully I typed an SMS into the cell; an SMS would use less power than a phone call.

“Igor has kidnapped me. I am in danger. In Cologne. Please call Jan.” The SMS disappeared. Daniel would be able to read my message in a few hours with daybreak in Geneva. After my ‘adventure’ with the jail in Prado I hoped it would alert him. The display was interrupted shortly. Not enough power. Then the display returned.

Shouldn’t I call him anyway? I decided against it. Instead I carried the cell phone into the adjacent room and hid it on the sill above the window. If Igor could find out my position via my cell then that should also be possible for police. But I didn’t dare to call police directly. What if Igor had some paid middlemen there as well? Beside that the battery power should last long enough to operate the antenna for a while longer. Only now I took a couple of painkillers and I was happy when just a glimpse of the elated feeling returned.

The door opened and Gerd entered. He carried a bag in his hand. It had to be Sunday midday, time for breakfast. Ruud would provide me with food in the evening. And Rainer took care of me on Monday. Apparently they took turns. I didn’t give up hope and in the evening I looked at the battery indicator of the cell phone. Still one bar left. The display ‘battery almost empty’ was hardly illuminated. If I dialed a number now the battery would be empty before I could utter only one sentence. So far Evgeni had not come yet therefore I still had some time.

Before I fell asleep I noticed with satisfaction that the drug hangover didn’t last for too long. I felt jovially and wished somebody would have sex with me. I was aroused. Igor had been right. I fell asleep happy about this insight.

Soon after that I woke up again. I felt cold and I shivered so I drew my knees up to my chest and snuggled under the thin blanket. But the heater in the corner was hot. Did I come down with a fever? The stuff that Igor injected into me might have not been ‘clean’ and now my body reacted to it, I suspected. I felt a cold breeze blowing through the room. Alarmed I turned around.

The light bulb in the ceiling lamp flickered. I was afraid it would go off and then I would be sitting in the dark. There was something in the room that didn’t belong in here – I felt it. Cold shivers ran down my back and I started trembling not only from the cold but also from angst. Then something else was happening that made my teeth chatter out of sheer fright. My breathing stopped for a moment only to resume frantically in panic.