Heritage and Exile (85 page)

“That would be one direction for Marius, if the Council won't accept him as my formal Heir,” I said, temporizing. It did make more sense than putting him at the head of the Guards. Gabriel wanted
that
and would be good at it. “I'll talk to him about it.”

“Before he would be eligible for Imperial Senate,” he said, “he must live on at least three different planets for a year apiece, and demonstrate understanding of different cultures. It's not too soon to start arranging it. If he's interested, I'll put him in the way of a minor diplomatic post somewhere—Samarra, perhaps. Or Megaera.”

I did not know if Marius was interested in politics. I said so, adding that I would ask him. It might be a viable alternative for my brother.

“Is he, too, a matrix mechanic?”

I shook my head. “I don't think so. I don't even know how much of a telepath he is.”

“There are telepaths on some worlds,” he said. “Not many, and this is the only culture where they're really taken for granted. But if he'd be more comfortable on a world where the population accepted telepathic and psi powers as a matter of course—”

“I'll ask him.” I hoped that when I broached the subject Marius wouldn't think I was trying to get rid of him. In history, brothers were allies; in fact they had all too often been rivals. Marius ought to know how little I cared to dispute with him for the Domain! I made a move to rise. “Was there anything else?”

“As a matter of fact,” Lawton said, “there was. What do you know about a man named Robert Raymon Kadarin?”

I flinched. I knew too much about the accursed traitor Kadarin, who had—once—been friend, almost brother; who had brought the Sharra matrix from its forges, given it over to me, given me these scars, forced Marjorie to the pole of Sharra's power. . . .
no!
I made myself stop thinking about that; my teeth clenched. “He's dead.”

“We thought so too,” said Lawton. “And even in the course of nature and time, he
ought
to be dead. He was in Terran Intelligence considerably before I was born—hell, before my grandfather was born, which means he's probably about a hundred, or older.”

I remembered the gray eyes, colorless. . . . there was
chieri
blood in the Hellers, as there had been in Thyra, in Majorie herself and her unknown mother. And the mountain men with the half-human
chieri
blood were abnormally long-lived, as some of the old Hastur kings had been.

“He's dead anyway if he crosses my path,” I said. “His life is mine, where, as and how I can; if I see him, I warn you, I will kill him like a dog.”

“Blood-feud—?” Lawton asked, and I said, “Yes.” He was one of the few Terrans who would understand. Unsettled blood-feud outweighs any other obligation, in the hills. . . . I could, if need be, stall the formal proceedings for claiming the Alton Domain by speaking of blood-feud in the old way.

I should have killed him before. . . . I thought he was dead. I had been offworld, forgetting my duty, my honor. . . . I thought him dead already. . . .
and a voice whispered in my mind, but ready to roar again,
my last command . . . return to Darkover, fight for your brother's rights. . . .
the Alton Domain could not survive with the stain of unsettled blood-feud. . . .

“What makes you think he's alive?” I asked. “And why do you ask me about him anyway? I've been offworld, in any case, even if I hadn't, he'd hardly be likely to hide himself under my cloak!”

“Nobody accused you of sheltering him,” Lawton pointed out. “I understood, though, that you and he were allies during the rebellion and the Sharra troubles, when Caer Donn burned. . . .”

I said quickly, to ward off questions, “No doubt you've heard some of the story from Beltran—”

“I haven't. I've never met the present Lord Aldaran,” Lawton said, “though I saw him once. Did you know there's a very strong resemblance? You're cousins, aren't you?”

I nodded. I have seen twins who were less like than Beltran and I; and there had been a time when I had been glad of that resemblance. I said, touching the scars on my face, “We're not so much alike now.”

“Still, at a quick look, anyone who knew you both might take either of you for the other,” Lawton said. “Half a gram of cosmetic would cover those scars. But that's neither here nor there . . . what did Kadarin have to do with Beltran, and with you?”

I gave him a brief, bald, emotionless outline of the story.

Spurred on by Beltran of Aldaran, when old Lord Aldaran—who was my great-uncle—lay dying, the old man who called himself Kadarin had brought the Sharra matrix from the forge-folk.

“The name Kadarin is just defiance,” I said. “In the Hellers, any—bastard—is known as a ‘son of the Kadarin' and he adopted it.”

“He was one of our best intelligence men, before he left the Service,” Lawton said, “or so the records say. I wasn't out of school then. Anyhow, there was a price on his head—he'd served on Wolf; nobody knew he'd come back to Darkover until the Sharra trouble broke out.”

I fought against a memory: Kadarin, lean, wolfish, smiling, telling me of his travels in the Empire; I had listened with a boy's fascination. So had Marjorie. Marjorie. . . .
time slid, for a moment, I walked the streets of a city which now lay in burned ruins, hand in hand with a smiling girl with amber eyes . . . and we shared a dream which would bring Terran and Darkovan together as equals.

I told the story flatly, as best I could.

“Beltran, with Kadarin, had a plan, to form a circle around one of the old, high-level matrixes; show the Terrans that we had a technology, a science, of our own. It was one of the matrixes that could power aircraft, mine metals—we thought, when we learned to handle it, we could offer it to the Empire in return for some of the Empire sciences. We formed a circle—a Tower circle, but without a Tower; a mechanic's circle—”

“I'm no expert at matrix technology,” said Lawton, “but I know something about it. Go on. Just you and Kadarin and Beltran, or were there others?”

I shook my head. “Beltran's half-sister Thyra; her mother was said to be part
chieri,
a foundling of the forest-folk. She—the
chieri
woman, I don't remember her name—also had two children by one of Lord Aldaran's Terran officers, a Captain Scott.”

“I know his son,” said Lawton. “Rafael Scott—do you mean to tell me he was one of you? He wouldn't have been more than nine or ten years old, would he? You'd take a
child
into a thing like that?”

“Rafe was twelve,” I said, “and his
laran
was awake, or he couldn't have been one of us. You know enough about Darkover to know that if a child's old enough to function as a man—or a woman—then he's old enough, and that's all there is to it. I know you Terrans tend to keep young men and women in the playroom long after they're grown; we don't. Do we have to debate social customs now? Rafe was one of us. And so was Thyra, and so was Rafe's sister Marjorie.” And then I stopped. There was no way I could talk about Marjorie; not now, with old wounds torn fresh.

“The matrix got out of control. Half of Caer Donn went up in flames. I suppose you know the story. Majorie died. I—” I shrugged, moving the stump of my arm slightly. “Rafe didn't seem much the worse when I saw him last.

But I thought Kadarin, and Thyra, were both dead.”

“I don't know about the woman,” Lawton said. “I haven't heard. Wouldn't know her if she walked into this office. But Kadarin's alive. He was seen in Thendara, less than a tenday ago.”

“If he's alive, she's alive,” I said. “Kadarin would have died before letting her be hurt.” Guilt clawed me again;
as I should have died before Marjorie, Marjorie . . .
and then I had a disquieting thought. Thyra was Aldaran as well as
chieri.
Had she foreseen the return of Sharra to Darkover . . . and come to Thendara, drawn by that irresistible pull, even before I knew, myself, that I would bring it back?

Lawton said, “What
is
Sharra? Just a matrix—”

“It's that, certainly,” I said. “A very high-level one; ninth or tenth,” and I forestalled his question. “In general, a ninth-level matrix is a matrix which can only be operated or controlled by at least nine qualified telepaths of mechanic level.”

“But I gather it's more—”

“Yes,” I said. “It's probably—I'm not sure what it is.

The forge-folk thought it was the talisman controlling a Goddess who brought fire to their forges . . . ”

Lawton said, “I was not asking for an account of Darkovan superstitions about Sharra. I've heard the stories of the flame-hair—”

“They're not stories,” I said. “You weren't there when Caer Donn burned, were you? Sharra
appeared
—and struck fire down on the ships—”

He said restlessly, “Hypnotism. Hallucination.”

“But the fire was real,” I said, “and believe me, the Form of Fire is real.” I shut my eyes as if I could see it there, as if my matrix was keyed to the burning in that older, larger matrix—

Lawton may have had a touch of
laran;
I have never been sure. Many Terrans do, not knowing what it is or how to use it. He asked, “Do you suppose he came to Thendara because you were here—to try and recover the Sharra matrix?”

That was what I feared. Above all, that was what I feared; the matrix in the hands of Kadarin again . . .
and I unwilling slave to the matrix, burning, burning, sealed to the form of fire . . .
“I would kill him before that,” I said.

Lawton's eyes dwelt a moment past courtesy on my one hand. Then he said, “There is a price on his head in the Empire. And you are an Empire citizen. If you like, I will issue you a weapon, to protect yourself against a known criminal under sentence of death, and give you the legal right to execute him.”

To my eternal shame, I considered it; I was afraid of Kadarin. And the ethics of the Compact—my father said it cynically once—crumble in the face of fear or personal advantage. Regis Hastur's father had died, twenty years ago, leaving the Domains to be ruled by an unborn son, because some band of rebels had accepted contraband weapons with what, I am sure, they thought were reasons important enough to overthrow their allegiance to Compact.

Then I said, with a shudder, “Forget it. I may not be much good with a sword just now, but I doubt if I can shoot well enough to make it worth the trouble. I'll fight him if I must. He'll have the Sharra matrix only over my dead body.”

“Your dead body wouldn't do any of us a damned bit of good if Kadarin had the Sharra matrix,” said Lawton impatiently, “and I'm not concerned at this moment with your honor or the Compact. Would you consider moving the matrix—and yourself—into the Terran Zone so that we could protect you with effective weapons?”

“Stubborn damned fool,” Lawton said without heat. “I can't force you, but be careful, damn it, be careful, Lew.” It was the first time he had called me by my name, and even through my anger, I was warmed; I needed friends, even Terran friends. And I respected this man. He said, “If you change your mind, or want a gun, or a bodyguard with a gun, tell me. We need friends in Council, remember.”

I said reluctantly, “I can't promise to be your friend, Lawton.”

He nodded and said, “I understand. But—” he hesitated and looked me straight in the eye, “I can promise to be yours. Remember that if you need it. And my offer stands.”

I thought about that, as I went out, and down the long elevators and lifts to the ground level. Outside the wind was chilly, and the sky was covered with cloud; later it would snow. I was amazed how quickly my weather skills returned to me. Snow, at high summer! Not unprecedented. Once a summer snow had saved Armida, in a terrifying forest fire when half our buildings had gone up in the backfire. But not common, either, and perhaps an omen of ill-luck. Well, that would be no surprise.

I didn't tarry to look at the starships. I had seen enough of them. Quickly, drawing my cloak close about my shoulders against the chill, I walked through the streets. I should move as quickly as possible, back into the Alton apartments in Comyn Castle, establish possession; show that I regarded myself as legitimate head of the Alton Domain, Lord Armida. The Sharra matrix too, left alone in the town house, safeguarded only by the fact that no one knew where it was—it too would be safer in Comyn Castle. Better yet, take it to the Comyn Tower and ask my cousin Callina, who was Keeper now for the incredibly ancient keeper there, old Ashara, to put it in the Tower matrix laboratory under a matrix lock. Kadarin could break into the town house, he might even manage to break into the Castle, but I did not believe he could break into a matrix-locked laboratory in Comyn Tower, in the hands and under the wardship of a Keeper. But if he could do that, then we were all dead anyhow and it did not matter.