Heritage and Exile (86 page)

Having made this resolve, I felt better. It was good to breathe, not the mechanical smells of the Terran Zone, but the clean natural smells of my own part of the city; spices from a cookshop, heat from a forge where someone was shoeing a string of pack animals; a group of Renunciates, their hair cut so short it was hard to tell whether they were men or women, dressed in bulky trail clothing, readying an expedition into the hills; a shrouded and heavily veiled lady in a sedan chair in the midst of them. The clean smell of animals, fresh smells of garden plants. Thendara was a beautiful city, though I would rather have been out in the Kilghard Hills. . . .

I could go. I owned estates that needed me. Armida was mine now . . . my home. But it was Council season and I was needed here. . . .

Across a square I heard a soft call and challenge; a patrol of young Guardsmen. I looked up, and Dyan Ardais left the patrol and came striding toward me, his military cloak flying briskly behind him.

This encounter was the last thing I wanted. As a boy I had detested Dyan with a consuming hatred; older, I had wondered whether a part of my dislike might not be that he had been my father's friend, and I, bastard, lonely, friendless, had envied every attention that my father had paid to anyone else. The unhealthy closeness between my father and myself had not all been his doing, and I knew that now. In any case, Kennard was dead and, one way or another, I must free myself of his influence, the real or imagined voice in my mind.

Dyan was my kinsman, he was Comyn, and he had befriended my brother and my father. So I greeted him civilly enough, and he returned the formal greeting, Comyn to Comyn, the first time in my life that he had greeted me as an equal.

Then he dropped formality and said, “I need to talk to you, cousin.” The word, a degree more intimate than “kinsman,” seemed to come as hard to him as to me. I shrugged, though I wasn't pleased. The talk with Lawton had made me, even more than before, desperately uneasy about the Sharra matrix; I wanted it put into a safe place before anyone—for anyone read
Kadarin,
who was the only one I knew who could get it—could know its presence on Darkover through the reawakening of his matrix—and if that had happened to my matrix, it would certainly have happened to his. And once he knew the matrix was back on Darkover, what would he do? I didn't have to ask; I knew.

“There's a tavern; will you drink with me? I need to talk with you, cousin,”

I hesitated; I'm not that much of a drinker at any time. “It's early for me, thank you. And I am rather in a hurry.

Can it wait?”

“I'd rather not,” said Dyan. “But I'll walk with you, if you like.” Too late I realized: it had been meant as a friendly gesture. I shrugged. “As you like. I don't know this end of the city so well.”

The tavern was clean enough, and not too dark, though my spine prickled a little as I went into the unlighted room, Dyan behind me. He evidently knew the place, because the potboy brought him a drink without asking. He poured some for me; I put out my hand to stop him.

“Only a little, thanks.” It was more a ritual than anything else; we drank together, and at the back of my mind I thought, if my father knew, he would have been pleased to see me drinking in all amiability with his oldest friend. Well, I could do that much homage to his memory. He caught my eye and I knew he shared the thought; we drank silently to my father's peace.

“We'll miss him in Council,” Dyan said. “He knew all the Terran ways and wasn't seduced by them. I wonder—” and his eyes dwelt on me a moment past courtesy, looking at the scar, the folded sleeve. But I was enough used to that. I said, “I'm not exactly enthralled by the Terran—more strictly, by the Empire ways. Terra itself—” I shrugged. “I suppose it's a beautiful world, if you can stand living under a yellow sun and having the colors all wrong. There's a certain—status—in being of old Terran stock, or living there, but I didn't like it. As for the Empire—”

“You lived on Vainwal a long time,” he said, “and you're not a decadent like Lerrys, bound on pleasure and—exotic entertainment.”

It was half a question. I said, “I can live without Empire luxuries. Father found the climate good for his health. I—” I broke off, wondering just why I had stayed. Inertia, deadly lassitude, one place no worse than another to me, until I met Dio, and then any place as good as another, as long as she was with me. If Dio had asked me, would I have come back to Darkover? Probably, if the subject had been broached before it became impossible for her to travel. Why had we not come before she became pregnant? At least, here, she could have been monitored, we would have had some forewarning of the tragedy—I stopped myself. Done was done; we had done the best we could, unknowing, and I would not carry that burden of guilt along with all the rest.

“I stayed with Father. After he died, he wanted me to come back; it was his dying wish.” I said it gingerly, afraid the clamor in my mind would begin again, once invoked, but it was only a whisper.

“You could hold Kennard's place in Council,” he said, “and have the same kind of power he held.”

My face must have flinched, because he said half angrily, “Are you a fool? You are needed in Council, provided you don't take the part of the Ridenow and try to pull us all into the Empire!”

I shook my head. “I'm no politician, Lord Dyan. And—without offense—I'd like a little time to size it up on my own, before being told what to think by each of the interested parties!”

I had expected him to fly into a rage at the rebuke, but he only grinned, that fierce and wolfish grin which was, in its own way, handsome. “Good enough; at least you're capable of thinking. While you're sizing up the situation, try and take the measure of our prince. There's precedent enough—Council knew my own father was mad as a
kyorebni
in the Ghost wind, and they took care to draw his fangs.”

They had appointed Dyan his father's regent, and in one of the old man's lucid intervals, old Dom Kyril had agreed to it. But I said, “Derik has no near kinsman; isn't he the only adult Elhalyn?”

“His sisters are married,” Dyan said, “though not, perhaps, as near to nobility as they would have been if we had known one of their husbands might have to be regent of the Elhalyns. Old Hastur wants to set Regis up in Derik's place, but the boy's kicking about that, and who can blame him? It's enough to rule over Hastur, without a crown as well. A crown is nonsense in these days, of course; what we need is a strong Council of equals. And there's the Guard—not that a few dozen men carrying swords can do much against the Terrans, but they can keep our own people on the right side of the wall.”

“Who's commanding the Guard now?” I asked, and he shrugged.

“Anybody. Nobody. Gabriel, mostly. I took it myself for the first two years—Gabriel seemed a bit young.” I remembered Dyan had been one of the best officers. “After that it went to him.”

“He's welcome to it,” I said. “I never had much taste for soldiering.”

“It goes with the Domain,” Dyan said fiercely. “I suppose you would be willing to do your duty and command it?”

“I'll have to get my bearings first,” I said, and then I was angry. “Which is more important? To get someone who's competent at commanding the Guards, and likes it, or to get someone who has the right blood in his veins?”

“They're both important,” he said, and he was deadly serious. “Especially in these times. With the Hasturs gobbling up one Domain after another, Gabriel's
exactly
the wrong man to command the Guards; you should force the issue and take them away from him as soon as possible.”

I almost laughed. “Force the issue? Gabriel could tie me up into a bow for his wife's hair, and do it with one hand tied—” I broke off; that particular figure of speech was, to say the least, unfortunate. “I could hardly fight a duel with him; are you suggesting assassination?”

“I think the Guard would be loyal to you for your father's sake.”

“Maybe.”

“And if you don't take over the Guard? What are you intending to do? Go back to Armida and raise horses?” He put all his scorn into the words. Pain flooded through me, remembering how I had wanted to take my son there. “I could probably do worse.”

“Just sit at home and attend to your own affairs while Darkover falls into Empire hands?” he asked scornfully. “You might as well hide behind Tower walls! Why not go back with Jeff to Arilinn—or did they burn
that
out of you too?”

Rage flooded through me. How dared Dyan, under the pretense of kinship and his friendship for my father, probe old, unhealed wounds this way? “I was taught at Arilinn,” I said deliberately, “to speak of such matters only to those who were concerned in them. Are you monitor, mechanic, or technician, Lord Dyan?”

I had always thought that the phrase
black with rage
was only a manner of speaking; now I saw it, the blood rising dark and congested in Dyan's face until I thought he would fall down, stricken by a stroke. Too late, I remembered; Dyan had been briefly in a Tower, and no one, not even my father, knew why he had left it. What I had meant as a freezing rebuke, a way of telling him to keep his distance, had been interpreted as deadly personal insult—an attack on his weakest spot.

“Neither monitor, mechanic nor technician, damn you,” he said at last, his chair going over backward as he rose, “nor power-pole for the forces of Sharra, you damned insolent bastard! Go back to Armida and raise horses, or to a Tower if they'll have you, or back to the Empire, or to hell if Zandru will take you in, but stay out of Council politics—hear me?”

He turned and strode away, and I stared after him, in shock and dismay, knowing I had made, from a man who had been ready to befriend me, the most dangerous of enemies.

The Comyn Tower rose high above the Castle, part of the great sprawling mass that looked down on Thendara, and yet apart from it, older than any part of it; immeasurably old, built of an ancient reddish sandstone which, otherwise, appeared only in the oldest, ruined houses of the Old Town. Regis had never come here before.

He said to the nonhuman servant, “Will you ask the
Domna
Callina Lindir-Aillard if she will receive Regis Hastur?”

It surveyed him for a long moment, the dark eyes alert and responsive; a humanlike form, a humanlike intelligence, but Regis could not dismiss the feeling that he had been speaking to a large and not altogether friendly dog. He had seen the silver-furred
kyrri
during his brief training session in Neskaya Tower; but he had never grown used to them. The thing stared at him longer, he thought, than a human would have done. Then it gave a brief graceful nod of its sleek silver head and glided noiselessly away.

Regis wondered, remotely and at the edge of awareness, how the
kyrri
would deliver its message to Callina. The origin of the
kyrri
was lost in the Ages of Chaos—had they, after all, been part of that monstrous breeding program which the Hastur-kin had carried on for centuries to fix the Comyn gifts in the families of the Seven Domains? Stranger games than the
kyrri
had been played with genetics modified by
laran
power and matrix technology.

Or did they go back further yet, part of the prehistory of Cottman's star before a lost Terran colony came to call it Darkover? He suspected that even in the Towers they were not sure what the
kyrri
were or how they had come to be traditional servants of the Tower. He took them for granted, had learned to stay out of range of the painful electric shocks they could give when they were excited or threatened, had been tended by their odd thumbless hands when it would have been unendurable to have near him human telepaths who could read his mind or reach it.

But all this was with the surface of his mind and had nothing to do with the underlying unease which had brought him here; and for a moment he wondered if he should have sought out Callina in the Aillard suite, presuming somewhat on his acquaintance with Linnell—who, like himself, had been fostered at Armida and was foster-sister to Lew and Marius. He had never spoken more than a dozen words to Callina, and those formal and ceremonious. He could have talked to Linnell as to a kinswoman, but Callina was something else again . . . Keeper at Neskaya and then at Arilinn, then sent here to be under-Keeper in the oldest of the Towers, long inactive, but still sheltering the ancient Ashara, who had not been seen outside the Tower in living memory—nor, Danvan Hastur had told him once, in the living memory of anyone
he
had ever known; and his grandfather was nearing his hundredth year. He supposed Ashara's own circle, if she had one, and her attendants, must see her sometime. . . .

She must have been an ordinary woman once; at least as ordinary as any of the Comyn could be said to be ordinary; and not immortal, only long-lived as some of the Hasturs were long-lived. There was
chieri
blood mixed with the blood of the Domains. Regis knew little of the
chieri
, but they were said to be immortal and beautiful, still dwelling somewhere in a remote valley where humankind never came. But his own grandfather showed signs of being one of those Hasturs whose reign could span generations . . .
it was a lucky thing for the Comyn, that Danvan Hastur had been there to reign as Regent during these troubled years
. . . Regis found his thoughts sliding into unexpected channels, as if some other mind had briefly touched his own; he started, blinked as if he had fallen asleep on his feet for a moment; his skin crawled, and something
touched
him . . . . Regis felt a faint nausea deep in his body. A shadow had fallen across the doorway and Callina Aillard was standing there.