Here Be Dragons - 1 (94 page)

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Those were her teethmarks in his face That was what she'd been driven to m the final hours of her life, by your father, by the man you call kind'"
He'd grasped Joanna's wrist, forcing her to listen When he released her, she stumbled backward, fled the hut Her stomach was heaving and she fell to her knees on the grass, lay prone as the trees whirled above her head, spinning in sickening circles She clutched tufts of grass, clung as if the earth itself were falling away from her She was weeping as Will knelt beside her Gathering her into his arms, he held her as if she were a child, and for a time there was no sound but that of her choked sobbing, the whimpering of her spaniel
"I'm going to take you back inside now " The voice was so gentle that she wondered if it was truly Will's, but she obediently put her arms around his neck and he lifted her up, earned her back to the shelter of thehafod "Here,"
he said, handing her his flask "Drink " She did, the liquid was warm and so heavily spiced that she choked anew It burned her throat, set her head spinning She drank again, at his insistence, but shook her head weakly when he offered the flask a third time
The last of her tears squeezed through her lashes "Will, I'm sorry, so sorry "
"So am I, Joanna I ought never to have told you that There've been times," he confessed, "when I'd have given up my chances of salvation if only I'd not known, if only I could forget "
Joanna shuddered "How could your father have told you7 Why did you have to know7"
He reached out, touched her tearstamed face "You were weeping for me7 For that fourteen-year-old boy7"
Joanna shuddered again, and when he put his arm around her, she did not move away "There was no need for you to know, no need " She turned so she could look up into his face, into eyes fringed with surprisingly long, fair lashes
"You were so young How could you live with pain like that7"
"By learning to hate Not just John The men he trusted, the men who waxed fat on his favor, men like Hubert de Burgh and Peter des Roches Your Uncle
Salisbury "
"And me?"
"1 wanted to hate you, thought I did until I saw you again at Chester Castle
But you know that, Joanna You know how much I Wanted you, how much I want you right now "
"Will, I cannot " But he was leaning toward her, covering her
°uth with his His breathing had quickened, but there was no urgency
"is kiss, not yet It was both unexpected and reassuring, this gen-
eriess, he had about him such unsettling undertones of violence that it as startling, somehow, to find he could be so tender a lover Joanna

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knew she had to protest now, while there was still time for protesting, for thinking. But when he kissed her again, she found herself responding, kissing him back.
He was too practiced for awkward fumbling with clothing, slid his hand into the bodice of her gown. She gasped as he cupped her breast, and he gave a low laugh. "God, how I want you! It'll be so good, I promise you ..." And for
Joanna there was only that moment, the feel of his hands on her bared skin, and an urgency to match his own. When he lowered her back onto the blanket, she reached up, drew him down into an impassioned embrace, and it was not long before he was murmuring, "Now, love. Spread your thighs for me. Ah, yes, yes .
. ." There was a tense moment in which they feared he was too ready, too eager. But he was able to keep control, moving slowly at first, deliberately, until Joanna moaned, dug her nails into his neck, and then he did lose control, but it no longer mattered; there was for them both a shattering release, convulsive and complete.
Will was the first to move, shifting his weight off Joanna and sitting up. She lay still, her head turned away, until he tugged gently on her braid, compelling her toward him. Leaning over, he kissed her possessively on the mouth. "You were worth waiting for," he said, smiling, and Joanna flushed even darker.
"What have I done, Will?" Her voice was muffled, almost inaudible. "My God, what have I done?"
He tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes. "What you wanted to do.
For you did want me, Joanna, just as much as I wanted you."
Joanna's lashes swept down, shadowing her cheek. Sitting up, she pulled her skirt down, began relacing her bliaut. Her fingers were unsteady, but when
Will reached over to help, she shook her head. She was on her feet now, retrieving her mantle from the floor. "Will ... I have to go."
He rose without haste, draped her mantle about her shoulders. "Give me a minute to make myself presentable, and I'll walk back with you."
"No!" She pulled away, staring at him with such wide, frightened eyes that he was both touched and amused.
"What do you fear, Joanna? That people need only glance at us now to know?"
Laughing, he caught her by the shoulders, drew her back into his arms. "My love, it does not show in your face. You look no different."
"I feel different. I feel ..." Joanna's mouth twisted. She turned away, moved rapidly toward the door.

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19 f la, "Joanna." She paused, with obvious reluctance, and hntl»«nce shall be here at noon on the morrow." ' ^ |,e ^
"No," she said. "No."
"I'll be waiting for you."
His words stayed with her as she walked back toward Rho^taottowat,) waiting for you. He'd smiled, as if her denial meant nothing, * -tot notl''8*/' she'd come to him. Joanna stopped abruptly, stood motionle^koonbd nJ^ifs Jong that
Topaz began to whine. Kneeling there on the path, Jo&o^rtlhe p^Sfer her arms around the dog. "What am I to do?" she whisperec^, e wh,s Wj Mary ..." But she could not pray. Hers was a mortal sin. £ irtomorta]^ 'la, betrayed her marriage vows, betrayed her husband. And on t,inoW \_ An^'H, row, what then?
For Will was right. She had wanted him, was a^aiil him, "t|eno to blame for what happened as he. She did not understand it, c«» iiterrstanci'^niic fully believe it even now, but she could not deny it. She did wa«OTttiii5he dSWiic
'intlVjj
WILL reached the hafod well before noon. Joanna had been too disfciaboJiBsen to, to think of the blanket and basket. The blanket lay as they'd left ft|Mt theyV'Hlit rumpled from the weight of their bodies, but the basket had beemnsjWtst hacjSw turned, emptied by scavenging animals. Will righted the b.drfbhted us*'- smoothed the blanket, and sat down to wait. At half past twelve H whitest tw' *H the hafod, stood for some moments squinting up at the sun. HQH ii'irfie su ^ turning to go back inside when he heard a dog bark.
Several birds tl afaiibveral k "(1* cover, went winging over the hut. The spaniel appeared first, jaitte&ared $V Joanna following much more slowly. '
<% suggestive of sadness. "Over the years, many women have wegi/owliMi ha^' ^cause of me. But I honestly could recall nary a one weeping for me .
suiJjmg/OK ^ JUSt you." '
Joanna had wept again at night, lying alone in Llewelyn's bed. B»a Finn's bw s)le did not know whether her tears were for the boy Will had been, Q ,(A»ad be, °r this madness that had so suddenly come upon her, that had brougr-faAnad bt, * er back to the hafod, to Will. She closed her eyes, but could still see hincmlsilitstiW s?, e«ind her lids: tousled hair streaked by the sun, thin mobile mouth rtmmfoile nk
Jaitisi&ared C*

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knew she had to protest now, while there was still time for protest' for thinking. But when he kissed her again, she found herself resp H' ing, kissing him back.
He was too practiced for awkward fumbling with clothing, slid h' hand into the bodice of her gown. She gasped as he cupped her bre and he gave a low laugh.
"God, how I want you! It'll be so good i promise you ..." And for Joanna there was only that moment, the f i of his hands on her bared skin, and an urgency to match his own. VVhe he lowered her back onto the blanket, she reached up, drew him dovv into an impassioned embrace, and it was not long before he was miir muring, "Now, love. Spread your thighs for me. Ah, yes, yes There was a tense moment in which they feared he was too ready, too eager. But he was able to keep control, moving slowly at first, deliberately, until Joanna moaned, dug her nails into his neck, and then he did lose control, but it no longer mattered; there was for them both a shattering release, convulsive and complete.
Will was the first to move, shifting his weight off Joanna and sitting up. She lay still, her head turned away, until he tugged gently on her braid, compelling her toward him. Leaning over, he kissed her possessively on the mouth. "You were worth waiting for," he said, smiling, and Joanna flushed even darker.
"What have I done, Will?" Her voice was muffled, almost inaudible. "My God, what have I done?"
He tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes. "What you wanted to do.
For you did want me, Joanna, just as much as I wanted you."
Joanna's lashes swept down, shadowing her cheek. Sitting up, she pulled her skirt down, began relacing her bliaut. Her fingers were unsteady, but when
Will reached over to help, she shook her head. She was on her feet now, retrieving her mantle from the floor. "Will . ' have to go."
He rose without haste, draped her mantle about her shoulders "Give me a minute to make myself presentable, and I'll walk back wit you."
"No!" She pulled away, staring at him with such wide, frightene eyes that he was both touched and amused.
"What do you fear, Joanna? That people need only glance at us n to know?"
Laughing, he caught her by the shoulders, drew her a ^ into his arms. "My love, it does not show in your face. You loo different." j
"I feel different. I feel . . ." Joanna's mouth twisted. She tu away, moved rapidly toward the door.

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"Toanna." She paused, with obvious reluctance, and he said, "I i] be here at noon on the morrow."
5 3 ,,No/» she said. "No."
"I'll be waiting for you."
f-lis words stayed with her as she walked back toward Rhosyr. /'// be 'tins for you- He'd smiled, as if her denial meant nothing, as if sure he'd come to him. Joanna stopped abruptly, stood motionless for so I n8 tf>at Topaz began to whine. Kneeling there on the path, Joanna put her arms around the dog.
"What am I to do?" she whispered. "Lady Mary " But s^e cou^ no* Pra7-
Hers was a mortal sin. She had betrayed her marriage vows, betrayed her husband. And on the morrow, what then? For Will was right. She had wanted him, was as much to blame for what happened as he. She did not understand it, could not fully believe it even now, but she could not deny it. She did want Will.
WILL reached the hafod well before noon. Joanna had been too distraught to think of the blanket and basket. The blanket lay as they'd left it, still rumpled from the weight of their bodies, but the basket had been overturned, emptied by scavenging animals. Will righted the basket, smoothed the blanket, and sat down to wait. At half past twelve he left (he hafod, stood for some moments squinting up at the sun. He was turning to go back inside when he heard a dog bark. Several birds broke cover, went winging over the hut. The spaniel appeared first, with Joanna following much more slowly.
She was so tense, her approach so hesitant that Will instinctively stayed quite still. She reminded him of a woodland creature, untamed and poised for flight, and he said very quietly, "I was beginning to fear you were not coming."
"I did not think I was."
They regarded each other in rapt silence until Will deemed it safe to
Jflove. Stepping toward her, he took her hand. "I thought about you
H the night. I kept remembering how you wept, wept for my pain."
f smiled, his familiar smile of self-mockery, but to Joanna, unexpect-
y suggestive of sadness. "Over the years, many women have wept use of me. But I honestly could recall nary a one weeping for me . . .
("St you.,''
she j°anna nac' weP* again at night, lying alone in Llewelyn's bed. But forth n0t ^novv whether her tears were for the boy Will had been, or her, is madness that had so suddenly come upon her, that had brought bej,j * to fhe hafod, to
Will. She closed her eyes, but could still see him fier lids: tousled hair streaked by the sun, thin mobile mouth,

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golden lashes and beard, details she'd not even been aware of noticinga small scar on his right temple, a shaving scratch on his throat. He was very close now; she could feel his breath on her cheek. Her lashes lifted and she saw his mouth soften, curve just before he kissed her.
IN the days that followed, Joanna felt as if she were drifting farther and farther from shore, from the sureties of the world she knew, the world she was terrified of losing. She had no appetite at mealtimes, and sleep eluded her;
she lay awake some nights till dawn, rose hollow-eyed and racked with guilt, unable to understand why she was jeopardizing her marriage, perhaps even her life, for a man she did not truly knowand yet unable to stay away from him.
She knew she did not love him. The sexual attraction between them was undeniably intense, and had been since that night at Chester Castle, for she could see that now, could acknowledge that it had first flared on a darkened stairway in Caesar's Tower. But could she be so foolish as to risk so much for that, for lust? Why, then, had she never been tempted ere this? Why had she never even fantasized about any man but Llewelyn?
Llewelyn. What would he do if her sin was found out? Joanna thought of the
French Queen Ingeborg, held fast at Etampes Castle for no fault of her own.
She thought of the innocent Lady Alys, confined by Richard in Rouen for six long years. And she thought of the look on Llewelyn's face should he ever learn of her infidelity. But each afternoon she found herself walking in the meadows, toward the hafod where Will awaited her.
They would make love on the blanket, and for a brief while Joanna could forget her fears, even her guilt. Sometimes they would eat food Will smuggled from
Rhosyr, and they would talk. Lying with his head in her lap, Will was relaxed enough to let down some of his defenses, to trust her with an occasional truth. He spoke of his boyhood at Bramber and Buellt, of his exile in France, conceded he'd earned his reputation for reckless risk-taking. He was intelligent, ambitious, and could be very amusing. He was also cynical and not overly burdened with scruples, was quite candid in admitting that when he wanted something, he se out to get it, rarely counting the cost. But every now and then Joanna would catch glimpses of another Will, glimpses of the boy he'd been an the man he mignt have become, and at such moments she would te the sadness of loss, and yet, at the same time, a curious sense of vin ' cation.
She encouraged him to talk about Maude, and as painful as it she forced herself to listen attentively, prompted by a hazy hope dwelling upon happier memories might somehow help him to forge