Here Be Dragons - 1 (92 page)

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"No he is not. You need not fret; you've done nothing wrong. Just h ut your other duties. All will be well, I promise you."
%°a t.s she entered the stable, Joanna could feel inquisitive equine eyes her Horses were poking their heads over their stall doors, and her
UP .j£ roan mare gave a welcoming nicker. But Llewelyn was nowhere taV seen. She paused uncertainly before the stall of his chestnut pal-
and then moved toward the far door, out into the stable yard. He not there, either, and she crossed to the shed where the stable gear was kept.
"Llewelyn?" The shed was dark; coming from sunlight, she could e no more than a man's silhouette. "Llewelyn, I've been looking all ver for you. You left the hall so suddenly . . ." She came closer, said hesitantly, "Beloved, I was worried about you ..."
"Did Senena speak the truth? Did you deliberately goad Gruffydd into that rage?"
When Senena had accused her in the great hall, she'd responded with an instinctive, heated denial, indignant enough to carry conviction. But alone now with Llewelyn in the darkened shed, Joanna found she could not lie to him.
"Yes ... I did. I wanted him to show you his true nature, to show you how dangerous he is. I thought you might banish him from your court, into exile.
But I never meant for this to happen, Llewelyn. I never thought you'd be forced to imprison him, I swear it."
She waited, at last entreated, "Are you not going to say anything? It is bad enough that I cannot see your face, but your silence is worse. I did it for
Davydd, Llewelyn, for our son. Surely you can understand?"
He brushed past her, moved out into the yard. As he stepped into
(he sunlight, Joanna was shocked at the sight of him. His face looked ravaged, as if he were bleeding from an internal wound, one that could drain away a man's lifeblood before his physicians even diagnosed the danger. She ran to catch up with him, followed him back into the stable.
Llewelyn, you must listen to me. I know your pain, know"
Uo you?" But he turned away before she could answer, entered e chestnut's stall, where he took undue care in bridling the horse.
°anna watched helplessly as he laid a sweat pad across the animal's a% passed the crupper under its tail.
Will you not talk to me? Llewelyn, this serves for naught!" s-na
P°siti°ned the saddle, began to adjust the girth buckles. "Senas right.
Killing Gruffydd would be kinder than caging him." uav "' Llewelyn . . .
what else could you do? He forced you to it, ^you no choice."
e swung around to face her, and she shrank back. Never had he

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looked at her like this, a look that went beyond anger, that came per. ilously close to denying a lifetime of love. "You blame me for what hap. pened?
Llewelyn, that's not fair! I know how this hurt you. But I had no choice, either. I had to put Davydd's life above all else. I had to do whatever I
could to protect him. How could you expect me to do less?"
"I would have expected you to come to me! Davydd is my son, too Do you think
I'd not have done what I could to safeguard his life, his inheritance?"
"But I knew you would not have banished Gruffydd! You yourself admitted you've always indulged him, forgiven him. I was sure talking would do no good, that you had to see for yourself just how untrustworthy he truly is. Be honest, Llewelyn. What would you have done had I come to you with my fears, my suspicions?"
"We'll never know, for you never gave us the chance. Had you trusted me enough to confide in me, mayhap I could have found another way. At the least, I'd not have had Gruffydd taken by force at high noon in the great hall, whilst his nine-year-old son looked on!"
"I am sorry about that, truly I am . . ." Joanna said haltingly. "But I
thought I was acting for the best."
"By going behind my back? By lying and conniving? You said I had no choice.
You're right, for you saw to that!"
"Why will you not try to understand? Jesus wept, I did it for Davydd!"
He shoved the stall door back, led the stallion out into the row. "I do understand, more than you think. This is not the first time, after all, that you've lied to me. When you sent John that secret warning, you justified that just as easily, swore you'd done it for me. And now Davydd. Who are you to make my decisions for me, to decide what I ought to do?"
He was leading the stallion toward the door. Joanna hastened to keep pace, grabbed his arm. "I did not believe you'd banish Gruffydd unless forced to it.
I still believe that! How can I not, when you've forgiven him time and time again?"
He pulled free, swung up into the saddle. "To give credit where due, your scheme worked admirably. You duped me into doing exactly what you wanted, like a master puppeteer. My congratulation8' Madame. I daresay John would be very proud of you!"
Joanna flinched as if from a physical blow. "Damn you!" she crie "Damn you, damn you!"
Llewelyn spurred his stallion forward. Joanna did not try to s K him. Standing in the stable doorway, she watched as he cantered ac the bailey.

1
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TOEGARNEDD, NORraWAUS O^festr ua
}<
I OANNA walb^. , f out of earshot before continuing. "I< Catherine's servant to move
Bangor, and when he learned what /^h returned the next da7 from accused me of having no faith in h- haPPened, he was furious. He thwarting Gruffydd's ambitions, an<^' mS1Sted he needed no help in but without humor. "At Davydd's
COUld l arSue?" She smiled, mortal insult." ase' a mother's fear is taken as a
"And what of Llewelyn? You coi , , "No. I've never seen him so ang^ "Ot
'econci'e?" myself. In the days that followed, vy^ Y then l was no less angry possible, no longer spoke unless abstJf avoided or>e another whenever
Catherine. And then on the fourth V"7 necessary- » was dreadful, Hubert de
Burgh had invaded Ceri " fY ""^ W°rd that Henry and "For once, Gruffydd was actually in tK/gam that bleak' mirthless smile. was still angry, still hurt.
But I did not "g ; he/d Predicfed as much. I harsh words or unhealed wounds be
^^ Llewelyn to "de to war with s°ught to make peace ... to no avail " U$' T
swallowed my pride, that he kindled our quarrel all over ag Ue^elyn rebuffed me so sharply
Joanna sighed, picked listlessly jT"", , , ^ it has been three weeks since he J 'H,!f00d SCt before her- "And H'ng war in
Ceri, fighHng Henry a^"d.D^ de south- They are than that. Not a single message has Llld df Bur«h' but I kno^ no more , String the bread down, Joanna K^ ^
^"*me' "ary a word/' aZ Ve heard me ou* m virtual silen^V\Cai^eiine a speculative look. life' 3S l did? We're talking about n e;uSurely y°u understand why I
Othln8 less than Davydd's very

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"I am myself a mother. Of course I understand. But I can stand Llewelyn's anger, too. If only you had come to him first "
Resentment flickered, failed to catch. Was Catherine's caution so surprising?
Joanna doubted that in all of her married life she'd acted independently of
Rhys. Moreover, she looked ghastly, looked /*' and thin and colorless, had aged shockingly in these months of owhood. "I did not mean to burden you with my troubles, Cathe ' We'll talk of them no more," Joanna promised, and kept to that res 16 for the remainder of her stay. e
When Joanna returned to Aber at dusk the following day, she vv tired and dispirited. With each visit to Catherine, she could see the d' tance between them widening, could see in Catherine only a gentl ghost of the lively, loving woman she'd once been. But she did not know how to arrest the drift; her every lifeline seemed to fall short of Catherine's indifferent fingers.
Her mood did not improve on finding her bedchamber in disarray. Not only had
Madlen taken advantage of her absence to sleep in Joanna's feather bed, she'd neglected to make it up afterward. Moreover, several of Joanna's more expensive gowns were spread helter-skelter about the chamber, and Joanna doubted Madlen's glib explanation that she'd been sorting them out; trying them on was more likely. Joanna was annoyed, but Glynis was outraged and began to berate the younger girl for such unseemly behavior.
Madlen was quite unperturbed by Glynis's ire. Nor was she apprehensive of losing her place in Joanna's household; she was comfortably confident that
Joanna would overlook all but the most egregious of impudences, for she was a cousin once removed of Ednyved. But Madlen still had no liking for reprimands, and she sought to avoid one now with a tried-and-true tactic, diversion.
"Madame, I have wondrous news for you! A letter arrived this forenoon from your lord husband. He says the war is going very well for us The English are running low on food, are sore beset by our men, and they're losing their will to fight, are squabbling amongst themselves. Lord Llewelyn has cut off their supply lines, even captured a great Norman lord when he ambushed a foraging party, one who'll bring goodly ransom. He writes that he expects the war will soon be over, t Hubert de Burgh will have to abandon the castle he hoped to build a Pen y Castell and withdraw from Wales." ,/s
"I am not going to ask how you know the contents of my husoa l J.A i_ L ryi ^L i. T ; L .. .1. ,.^-.,, j.^* £^.4-^.1-1 if fr\f
Tf\Qi dll^*
. not yet. Right now I just want you to fetch it for me, a
Aimc, T T*r/-tiil,-fl r->r\f t-*t-Tr irif^ w^-»ni- lofforl T rannO*
rCaU.
letter . . . not yet. Right now I just want you to fetch it tor quick!"
"Madame, I would not pry into your letter! I cannot Adda shared it with us in the great hall."

593
nna could not hide her dismay. "The letter was to Adda? Not to
1116 "Mo Madame, not to you." Not spiteful, just oblivious, Madlen
, yjthely, "Oh, but Lord Llewelyn did include a message for you h letter. He sent that captive Norman lord to us for safekeeping, but
1(1 the lord is to be treated as a hostage of high rank, not as a
^ mon prisoner, and he is to be given the freedom of the court, as he
L . ed his knight's honor he'd not try to escape. Yet our lord would as n rely upon a more tangible barrier than an enemy's honor, and he
. j^ jt kest to put a swift current betwixt the lord and temptation. That s his message, that you should at once move the court to the isle of
Mon."
Joanna spun about, moved to the window so she'd not betray herself with burning color. Almost immediately, though, she recoiled, havmg caught sight of
Senena crossing the courtyard. "What is she doing here, Madlen?"
"The Lady Senena? She came back yesterday, is making arrangements to send some of Lord Gruffydd's household goods to Deganwy: his favorite feather bed, wall hangings, and the like." Madlen gave Joanna a look of avid curiosity, wishing that just once Joanna might confide in her, share those intimate details about which she could now only speculate. But Joanna was silent, and she began to pick up the discarded dresses with a sigh of frustration. So much excitementLord Gruffydd's confinement, Lord Llewelyn's quarrel with her lady, war with the Englishand she was at the very heart of it all. But what good did it do her when her lady hoarded her secrets like a miser?
Joanna's anger had not yet abated by the time she entered the great tall. In truth, she welcomed her resentment, her sense of injury, for it kept her fear at bay. Llewelyn's silence was becoming more and more ominous. For the first time she found herself thinking the unthinkable: what if Llewelyn could not forgive her?
Much to Joanna's relief, Senena was not in the hall. She started 'Ward the dais, while Madlen chattered on cheerfully at her side.
^re is the Norman lord, Madame. I think he's very handsome, in
And I've never known a Norman to speak such perfect Welsh; he
"nds verity like a Welshman. Not that I mean to say your Welsh is so den] v, Madame?" Madlen all but bumped into Joanna, so sud-
I d I S^e st°PPed- "Madame, you look so queer of a sudden! Why, dp R °St tnmk you'd seen a demon spirit of some sort. You know Lord Je
°raose?"
nna swallowed. "Yes," she said. "I know him."

594
AS Llewelyn's daughter by marriage, the mother of his grandchildren Senena had every right to be at his court, however unwelcome Joann' found her presence.
Senena made no more accusations, managed a brit tie, bitter courtesy in response to Joanna's strained civility. But sh watched Joanna constantly, with narrowed grey eyes full of accusation and implacable hate.
Will de Braose's manners were less forced. To be taken captive in warfare was not an uncommon occurrence, and while costly, it was not shaming. Will accepted his plight with the fatalistic sangfroid of a man sure he'd eventually be able to purchase his freedom. If at Chester Castle he could see
Joanna only as John's daughter, he took care to accord her now the public politeness due Llewelyn's wife. But like Senena, he too, followed her with his eyes, eyes no less grey than Senena's, and although not as overtly hostile, somehow even more disquieting.
Joanna had always enjoyed their stays on Mon; she liked the island climate, loved the magnificent views of the mainland mountain ranges. But now she began to feel as if Mon were as much her prison as Will's. She came to dread the evening meal, when she could neither avoid nor ignore her unwelcome guests, and she did whatever she could to make the dinner hour her only point of contact with Will and Senena. She took to riding the eight miles to
Tregarnedd, passing the mornings with Catherine. In the afternoons she and
Glynis went for long walks around Rhosyr, and when Glynis fretted that
Llewelyn would not approve of their wandering about unescorted, Joanna then refused even Glynis's company, continued her walks in defiant solitude.
Ordinarily she walked in the meadows near Rhosyr, taking care not to venture into the marshlands that lay off to the west, where the River Cefni wound its way to the sea. But on this particular afternoon she wandered down to the beach. The strait was rough, the winds coming not from the usual southwest but from the east, what the Welsh called gwynt each Amythig, the red wind of
Shrewsbury. Joanna was just about to turn back when she rounded a sand dune, saw Will de Braose standing by the water's edge. She spun about, but not in time. Topaz had begun to bark, and she heard Will calling her name.
He was panting slightly by the time he reached her. "Why are you so set upon avoiding me?"
His smile was challenging enough to sting her into a rude rejoinae "Possibly because I do not like you much."
Unfazed, he laughed. "Do you know what I think? I think you re afraid of me."
. ^
Even after so many years in Wales, Joanna knew but one obscenity. She used it now, snapping, "Twll dy din," and then turron