Hell (32 page)
A prison diary / Jeffrey Archer.
p
.
cm.
ISBN:
978-0-312-32186-4
1. Archer,
Jeffrey, 1940–Diaries. 2.
Archer, Jeffrey, 1940–Imprisonment.
3.
Novelists,
English–20th century–Diaries. 4. Prisoners–Great Britain–Diaries.
5. HMP
Belmarsh
. I. Title.
PR6051.R285Z474
2003
828’.91403–dc21
[B]
2003046688
*
73
people committed suicide in British prisons in 2001, 22 of them were first-time
offenders Over 1,500 prisoners attempted hanging, strangulation or suffocation
in 2000, a rise of 50 per cent over the 1999 figures
*
There are no
wooden items in the cell, as first-night prisoners often smash up everything.
†
Nick
Purnell
QC asked
Mr
Justice Potts
if I could be excused from the court to be with my mother. He refused our
request. A second request was made at the beginning of the afternoon session,
which he reluctantly agreed to. I reached my mother’s bedside an hour before
she died.
*
They
also emphasize in the same booklet that
Belmarsh
will
not tolerate any form of bullying and they have a firm policy of no racial,
ethnic or religious discrimination.
*
It is
not uncommon for a lifer to be moved from prison to prison, so that they can
never settle or gain the upper hand.
*
On 2
July 2002, Barry George lost his appeal
*
There are four categories of
prisoner, A, B, C, D. A-cat are violent and dangerous prisoners, with the
possible resources, i.e. money, to escape; B are violent and dangerous, but not
always murderers (i.e. GBH, ABH, manslaughter or rape), C, the vast majority,
are repeat offenders or convicted of a serious, non-violent crime, e.g.
drug-dealers; D are usually first offence, no history of violence, often with
short sentences, and likely to conform to the system, as they wish to return to
society as quickly as possible
*
Selected prisoners are invited to
become Listeners. They are then trained by the Samaritans so that they can
assist fellow inmates who are finding prison hard to come to terms with,
especially
those
contemplat-ing
suicide
.
*
I will
only use foul language when it’s reported in speech, which for most inmates is
every sentence.
Fuckin
’ is the only adjective they
ever bother with.
*
This
is a common experience in most jails, and can go on all night.
They are known
as ‘window warriors’.
*
You’re
allowed one
Bic
razor a day, and not until you hand
in your old one will they supply you with a new one. It was several days before
I discovered why.
*
Lyndon
Baines Johnson, the thirty-sixth President of the United States.
*
I discovered
later that you can buy a plug from the canteen for 25p, but if you leave your
cell door open for more than a minute, it disappears.
*
White
cards denote Church of England, red cards Roman Catholic, yellow, Muslim, and
green, Jewish. This is to show any dietary needs, and if you are attending a
service when you should he locked up.
*
Kevin
Meredith was tried and convicted at the Old Bailey on 18
Febru-ary
2002 for conspiracy to steal, and sentenced to five years’ imprisonment.
*
In prison,
the morning meal, breakfast, is usually taken between 7 30 and 8.00, the midday
meal is called dinner, and the evening meal tea. In
Belmarsh
,
the following day’s breakfast is given to you in a plastic bag when you go down
to the hotplate for tea the night before.
*
The
reason Mark feels so strongly is because tea-boys, Listeners and hotplate
workers spend far longer out of their cells than the rest of us, so it’s a real
privilege.
*
One
pip is a senior officer, two pips a principal officer.
*
Actual
Bodily Harm and Grievous Bodily Harm.
*
For
example, if my sentence was reduced by one year, from four to three, I would
end up only serving sixteen months and be released on 19
November 2002;
whereas with a four-year sentence, the earliest I could hope to be released
would be 19 July 2003
*
In-cell
electricity for television
*
The Director General of Prisons, Martin
Narey
, has since issued a directive that officers should
not smoke when on duty.
*
Inmates
are given £90 when leaving prison if they are of NFA (no fixed abode), £45 if
they have somewhere to live. They can go back on social security after a
fortnight.
*
Beatings
up (hammerings) usually take place in the shower room, which is why some
prisoners don’t wash from one year to the next The reason the shower room is
the preferred place for retribution is because it’s on the top floor at the end
of a long corridor, more than four prisoners are allowed to congregate at any
one time, and any excess noise is usually ignored as exuberance
*
On 30
June 1990, there were 1,725 inmates serving life sentences. On 30 June 2000
this figure had risen by 163 per cent to 4,540, 97 per cent of them male, of
whom 3,405 were convicted murderers It’s important to remember that murderers
are different to other criminals. For over 50 per cent it’s a first offence,
and when they are released, they never commit another crime It’s equally true
to say that the other 50 per cent are professional criminals, who do not
deserve a moment of your sympathy
*
I am an admirer of the eminent heart
surgeon, Sir
Magdi
Yacoub
,
and any donation you give will assist his current research
*
This
picture of my cell was drawn by Derek Jones I was not allowed to take a
photograph of it.
*
Drugs
are often packed into a condom and then pushed up the rectum.
Transferring
them in the back pew of the chapel can’t be a pleasant experience.
*
Convicted
prisoners, Members of the House of Lords, and certified lunatics are ineligible
to vote. I now qualify in two of the three categories
*
I checked later
It
is
in the prison regulations,
under ‘Locks, Bolts and Bars’.
*
This
sentence was added two weeks after I had written the original script
*
Since
this was written, the Home Secretary has downgraded
cannabis/ marijuana to Class C classification.
*
A joey
is about the size of two aspirins.
*
Almost
all of the prisoners have stopped
swearing in front of me.
*
This
sentence was added while I was editing Volume One, and had finally been
transferred to a D-cat. As of today, 1 October 2002, William Keane is still ‘on
the out’.
*
You
never enter someone else’s cell unless invited to do so.
*
I
presented
Fletch’s
original script to my publisher in
full; names and places have been necessarily omitted from the final text.
*
Fletch
subsequently attempted to commit suicide on 7 January 2002
*
Since
the court case, Dr Susan Edwards, Associate Dean of Bucking-ham Law School, has
researched every perjury case during the last ten years
*
Michael
Beloff
QC is an Olympic judge and is allowed to take a
guest to the World Championships. His wife Judith has never shown much interest
in watching half-naked men running around a track, so we’ve been a regular
‘item’ at such events for the past thirty years.
On the circuit
we’re known as Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau.
*
The
novel has since been renamed
Sons of
Fortune
.
*
Bleaching
powder can be added to pure heroin, diluting its strength, thus ensuring a
larger profit for the dealer
It’s
against regulations
to have two pillows.
*
I have
already decided, once I’m released I will visit Billy (14 more years) and
Fletch (19 more years) if they will allow me to.
Contents
