Heavy Metal (A Badboy Rockstar Romance) (23 page)

I gave my head a toss, shaking my hair off my shoulders.  Then, feeling a bit shy, I glanced over at Brandon.  When I saw the look on his face, my shyness immediately melted away.  I couldn’t help but grin.  He was completely, adorably oblivious to the things about my body that I perceived as imperfections.  Of that, I was certain.

Brandon was staring at me like I was a sex goddess.  His eyes were wide and he looked hungry – hungry for
me
.  That wonderful, completely genuine reaction immediately helped me stop worrying about silly, meaningless things like cellulite and jiggling thighs.  Who cared?  Brandon obviously didn’t!  So why should I?  Life was too short to be hung up on that nonsense.

Blushing, I happily helped Brandon rid himself of his boxers.  The next thing I knew, we were back at it.  I had never had so much sex in my life, nor had I ever felt so close to another person.  Who would have ever imagined that the quiet man sitting in a booth at the back of the diner would completely transform my life?

Life had such a strange way of working out.  But there was no time to think about that – not now.  All I could do was focus on what was happening.  And I was more than happy to live in the moment.  I savored every touch, caress and whisper, all the while thanking my lucky stars that Brandon had come into my life.

He was on top of me and my legs were wrapped around his waist.  His lips were on mine.  His tongue was in my mouth.  His hands were on my breasts, his fingertips gently teasing my sensitive nipples.  He had total command of my body and I loved every second of it.

I arched my back and moaned, begging him with my body language to enter me.  Screw foreplay.  It was nice and all, but I didn’t have the patience to put off the main event for a moment longer.  I needed Brandon
now
.  I needed him like I needed oxygen.

He got the hint.

I moaned in delight as he slid inside, giving me exactly what I was craving.

He felt so good inside me, filling me up, stretching me open.  He knew exactly where to kiss and touch and rub to drive me wild.  And when he whispered something far too dirty to repeat in my ear, it nearly sent me over the edge. 

I writhed and bucked beneath him, my body moving in unison with his. 

It was like we had been made for each other.  I couldn’t imagine any other man being able to do to me what Brandon did with such ease.  And I didn’t want to.  He was it for me.  I knew that without a doubt.  I might have had doubts and questions and uncertainties about other aspects of my life, but not about Brandon.  He was my soulmate, plain and simple.

“Ugh!”

When Brandon walked into our hotel room the next morning, I could tell immediately that something was wrong.  His tone of voice gave it away.  He sounded frustrated and angry and exhausted.  Maybe it was weird that I was able to deduce all that from a single “ugh!” but I could.  I knew him.  And I knew that he was
pissed
.

I looked up at Brandon from where I sat on the floor.  My legs were crossed and my back was against the bed as I sat there dangling a piece of string for Mittens’ amusement.  Sure enough, what I saw confirmed my suspicion. 

Brandon’s jaw was clenched and there was a scowl on his handsome face. 

“What is it?” I asked, noting that he was empty-handed.  That wasn’t a good sign.

He had gone out at the crack of dawn to get us coffee from a little shop a short walk away from the hotel.  For him, the excursion wasn’t about the coffee.  It was about breaking free.  It was about salvaging his sanity.

He had explained that he couldn’t stand to be cooped up a moment longer.  Agitated, he had told me he simply
had
to get out.  And the earlier he went, the fewer people would be around to recognize him and potentially cause a scene.  It made sense.

But I had a feeling his plan hadn’t gone as intended.

“You didn’t hear all the screaming?” he muttered, his broad shoulders slumping in defeat.

“No.  Fans recognized you?” I guessed, wincing.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” he grumbled as Mittens walked over to him and began to head butt his leg.  Brandon reached down and scooped the cat up.  Then, as Mittens attempted to lick his chin, Brandon apologetically told me, “I wasn’t able to get your coffee.  Sorry.”

I stood up, tossing the string aside.  Apparently the cat was only interested in playing catch-the-string with me until Brandon reappeared.  Then I became chopped liver.  It was clear who the favorite was, but I didn’t mind.  It was actually kind of cute.

“That’s fine,” I told him.  “I’m not worried about the coffee.  But I
am
worried about you, Brandon.  You can’t keep doing this.  Look at you.  You’re miserable, admit it.  You feel like a prisoner in your own life.”

“Well at least the conjugal visits are amazing,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Mmhmm, but I’m right, aren’t I?” I pressed, unwilling to let him change the subject that easily. 

He sighed and set Mittens down.  “I guess.  But hey, the good news is I’m about to get some much needed downtime.  You and I will finally have some time together to act like a normal couple.  I was thinking we could go to Maine and check out the construction on our new place?”

“Maine sounds great,” I told him.  “But what happens after that?”

“What do you mean?”

“You get some downtime to recover your sanity, and then what?  You make another album, go on the road to promote it again and then you’re right back to where you started, feeling miserable and trapped.  It’s a vicious cycle, Brandon.”

He pursed his lips and went quiet for a moment.  Then he admitted, “I know you’re right.  But I don’t know what to do about it.  It is what it is, I guess.  So many people have it a hell of a lot worse than me.  I have no right to complain.  So I can’t walk down the street without being recognized and chased...big deal, right?”

“It sort of is a big deal,” I told him gently.  “It’s your life.”

He shrugged.  “Do you want to order room service again?” he asked, making a face. 

“You make it sound so appetizing when you’re cringing like that,” I teased.

“Yeah well, I’m tired of it.  But I don’t know if we have much choice.  I could call Steve to go pick something up for us but I feel like that man deserves the morning off.  Considering all the nonsense he puts up with and all the fans he has to fight off, he deserves a hell of a lot more than that...he’s getting a
massive
Christmas bonus this year.”

I smiled.  “Let Steve sleep in.”

Brandon nodded in agreement.

“I’ll go get our breakfast,” I volunteered.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to,” I assured him. 

I knew I wouldn’t be recognized.  I wasn’t on the media’s radar yet, probably because any time I had been spotted with Brandon the paparazzi had assumed I couldn’t possibly be
with
him.  It was one of the perks of not fitting society’s narrow-minded perception of beauty, I supposed.

“Be careful,” Brandon told me, sounding anxious.

“Be careful of what?” I asked, walking over to give him a kiss before slipping my shoes on.  “I’ve been outside before, you know.  It will be fine.  I’ll be back soon.”

*****

When I arrived back at the hotel a short time later, I had two Styrofoam containers filled to the brim with pancakes, bacon, toast and hash browns.  And of course, I had our coffee.  But I also had something far more exciting than that. 

I could barely keep myself from jumping up and down in glee as I prepared to let Brandon in on my brilliant idea.  Parading around triumphantly, I waved a paper flyer around in front of Brandon’s face.  “Check this out!” I chirped, smiling from ear to ear.

“What is it?” he asked, grabbing the paper from me and unfolding it.  He read it and then looked up at me questioningly.  “You brought back a flyer advertising a college party?” he asked me, looking perplexed.

“So I saw the flyer down at the coffee shop and I had this weird, fantastic idea,” I explained, talking a mile a minute.  “The party is tonight, and we’re not doing anything.  Why don’t we crash it?”

His eyebrow shot up and he gave me A Look.  “I never took you for someone who crashed parties,” he commented, seeming simultaneously impressed and confused.  “Especially not college ones.”

“It says it’s the College of Medicine,” I pointed out.  “So it’s not going to be a bunch of 18 year olds.  It will probably be people closer to our age, I think.  But more importantly, there will be costumes!”  After announcing that, I paused dramatically, waiting for Brandon to follow my train of thought.

When he figured out where I was coming from, his face lit up.  “I can go out without being recognized!” he exclaimed, clearly thrilled by the prospect.  “We can have a night of normalcy, finally!  Oh my God, Hayley, you have the best ideas.”

“I try,” I said, smiling modestly. 

I loved seeing how happy Brandon was at the prospect of getting to mingle without his fame hanging over his head like a giant target.  But I was simultaneously saddened that he was normally deprived of something most of us took for granted.  His celebrity was like a blessing and a curse all wrapped up into one.

I didn’t want to take away from his moment of joy, so I kept my negative thoughts to myself.

“Ouch!” Brandon hissed as Mittens suddenly shot out from under the bed and playfully sunk his teeth into Brandon’s ankle.  The cat looked as pleased as punch by Brandon’s reaction, and gleefully galloped away.

“See, normally the cat would do that to me,” I smirked.  “I’m glad you’re the new favorite.”

“That makes one of us,” Brandon grumbled.  “Stupid cat...”

“You know you love him.”

“Lucky for him,” Brandon muttered.  “On what planet is biting considered playing?”

“It seems to me you did something like that to me in bed last night,” I reminded him, brushing my hair back to reveal the telltale red mark on the side of my neck.  “And you don’t hear me complaining about it!” I added with a wink.

“Fine, you win,” he grumbled, sticking his tongue out.

“Be nice or I’m going to make us wear matching costumes tonight,” I threatened.  At first I was only saying it in jest, but I had to admit, I kind of loved the idea.  The wheels in my head were turning as I considered the possibilities.

“Matching costumes don’t scare me.”

“I’m going to make you wear something ridiculous and embarrass you horribly,” I cautioned. 

He laughed and then reached for me, enveloping me in a bear hug.  “Bring it on, you.”

“You weren’t kidding about embarrassing me tonight, were you?” Brandon complained.

“The costume shop didn’t have a lot of options that cover the face!” I protested. 

“You’re
sure
dressing me up as a pink glittery pony was your only option?” he asked me suspiciously, giving me the evil eye as he stood in the middle of our hotel room eyeing the costume I had laid out on the bed with disdain.

“It’s not a pony costume!” I interjected, wide eyed and innocent even though I was cracking up inside.  “It’s a unicorn!  See?  There’s the horn.”

“Great, so I’m a horny pink glittery pony.  Wonderful.”

I snickered at the double entendre. 

“What’s your costume?” he asked skeptically, as though he couldn’t handle any more bad news.

I pulled my outfit out of my plastic shopping bag and threw it onto the bed next to his. 

It hadn’t been easy finding a cute plus sized costume on short notice but I was pretty happy with my selection.  And when Brandon got a good look at the denim cut-off shorts, pink flannel shirt, white cowboy boots and matching hat, he looked pretty happy too.

“That...that is incredibly sexy,” he informed me.  “Go try it on!  I want to see!”

“Okay, but you have to try your costume on too,” I teased.

He scowled.  “Fine...ugh, the things I do for you.”

“You love it!” I shot back knowingly.

“I don’t know about that, but I love
you
, you sexy little cowgirl.”

“Right answer,” I murmured, pausing to kiss him as I headed to the bathroom to change.  “Maybe tonight if you play your cards right I’ll ride you.”  Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined myself ever saying something so brazen to a man, but my confidence was sky high and I felt comfortable enough with Brandon to say pretty much anything.  It was liberating.

He chuckled at my words and lightly smacked my ass as I walked away.  “I’m going to hold you to that, gorgeous.  And hey, I’ll dress up in any stupid costume you want if it means I get to have sex with you.”

“How romantic,” I said sarcastically before disappearing into the bathroom.

“You love it!” he called as the door shut.

And he was right.  I did.

When Brandon and I stepped outside the confines of the hotel in our costumes that evening, I could practically feel the change come over him.  His energy was different.  There was an undeniable lightness about him, as though all the stress he had been carrying had been washed away, even if only for one night. 

I was so glad I could do that for him – and even happier I had happened to come across that flyer while I had been on my way to pick up our breakfast.  Maybe it had been destiny, I thought to myself with a small grin.  I didn’t know if I believed in the idea of things being fated, but it was a comforting thought.

We weren’t familiar with the campus, so we had a taxi drop us off at the perimeter of the university.  Then we walked, hand-in-hand, across the courtyard. 

A few college kids shouted out compliments about our costumes, but aside from that no one really batted an eye at the sight of a slightly slutty cowgirl and her glittery pink unicorn strolling around.  Oh, to be in college...

“I think we’ve found the party,” Brandon said from behind his unicorn head, his voice muffled by the costume that concealed his identity.  He was being such a good sport about the silly outfit that I couldn’t help but want to hug him.  So I did.

Then we went into the brick building – perhaps a frat house – we had come across.  There was no doubt about it that it was the right place.  It was crawling with people and the party was already in full swing.  The excitement in the air was palpable.

The music was blaring so loudly that the entire perimeter was vibrating from the booming bass.  And I was basically thrilled to be there.  Though partying had probably been a regular thing for Brandon, I had never really experienced it myself. 

In the past I hadn’t had the courage for it.  But tonight, rather than feeling out of place and self-conscious, I found myself eager to take it all in.  I squeezed his hand and then we walked inside.

Inside the house, the music was almost deafening.  There were a few costume-wearing people dancing on tables, and several others were engaged in a very boisterous game of pool.  There was even a small, enthusiastic group crowded around some girl who was doing keg stands.  Even though the music was deafening, I could still hear them loudly cheering her on.

It was a bit crazy, but it was also very laid back and fun. 

Brandon grabbed my hand and led me onto the dance floor.

Maybe it was my sexy, curve-hugging costume or maybe it was my newfound confidence.  Either way, I did something the old me never would have ever,
ever
done:  I danced.

I probably wasn’t that great at shaking my ass on the dance floor, but who cared?  It wasn’t a competition.  And oddly enough, I didn’t feel judged.  The other partygoers were so wrapped up in their own little worlds – or in some cases, so drunk – that I doubted they even noticed me. 

The only person who noticed me dancing was Brandon.  I could feel him watching me and yet it didn’t faze me one bit.  I knew there was absolutely no malice in his gaze – only acceptance and adoration.  So I let him look. 

He didn’t take his eyes off me the entire time.

After a few songs, I found myself sweaty and hot.  When Brandon linked his arm through mine and led me off the dance floor, I was more than happy to go.  And when we took a seat on an empty couch in a dark, shadowy corner of the room, he pulled off the head of his costume. 

“Ugh, this thing is suffocating me!” he shouted, scowling at it.

“Do you want me to get you some water?” I yelled back, taking pity on him.  I hadn’t thought about how hot and stuffy it must be beneath that costume.  Poor guy...he was such a trooper!

“What?”

“Do you want some water?” I hollered again, my head pounding.

He held up his hands – or rather, hoofs – in defeat.  “I can’t hear you.”

Fed up with our inability to talk, I motioned for Brandon to follow me outside.  He looked around, surveying the situation.  Then he tucked the head of his costume under his arm and followed me out, satisfied that his identity would be safe under the cover of darkness.

“Whew, that’s better,” I breathed once we were out in the fresh air.  The music emanating from the building was still loud, but at least now it was somewhat muffled.  At least now we could actually hear each other talk – and hear ourselves think.

“Are you warm enough?” Brandon asked, surveying my rather skimpy attire with concern.

“Yes I’m fine, don’t worry about me!” I assured him.

I couldn’t help but think to myself that it was nice to no longer feel cold all the time.  It was amazing, the impact a little extra padding could have.  And I had to admit, my ass looked
fantastic
in the denim cut-off shorts I was wearing.  They had been a big part of why I had wanted to wear the cowgirl costume – and had made Brandon dress up like a unicorn!

Brandon apparently couldn’t stop admiring my ass either, because as we stood there at the side of the brick building in the darkness, he reached down and grabbed it.  “You looked so damn sexy on the dance floor,” he growled lustfully, squeezing my cheeks with both hands as he leaned down to kiss me.

“You are the sexiest unicorn I’ve ever seen,” I told him with a straight face once the kiss ended.

“Don’t push it,” he warned me, though his tone assured me he wasn’t actually irritated.

“Aww, well for what it’s worth I love that you’re such a good sport,” I purred.

“Hey, I’m not doing this out of goodwill,” he warned me.

“You’re not?”

“Nope, I have ulterior motives,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Okay.  Exactly what might those ulterior motives be?” I asked with a grin.

“I seem to remember a certain sexy cowgirl promising to ride me,” he winked.

I snickered, feeling my face heat up even more at the recollection.  “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“Hell yeah you did.  You didn’t think I was going to forget, did you?” Brandon asked, his hands tightening as he groped my ass.  “It’s all I’ve been able to think about all night.  I was afraid if we stayed in there much longer I might have to throw you down and take you right there on the pool table.”

“Well that would have been interesting.”

He laughed.  “Yes.  So what do you say, should we go find someplace private?”

“Yes please!”  Then I looked around in confusion.  “Um, where...?”

“We’ll find someplace,” he assured me, taking my hand and leading me away from the party.  “I’ve been on a college campus or two in my day,” he reminded me.  “There are all kinds of unlocked buildings and empty rooms just begging to be misused.”

“Oh?  You were quite the bad boy, hmm?”

He snorted.  “Hardly,” he replied.  “I mean, I wasn’t hooking up all over campus or anything, if that’s what you think I meant.  But whenever I needed time alone – time to think or write new music or whatever, sometimes I’d just let myself into someplace I didn’t belong.”

“I see.  You miss your college days, don’t you?” I asked as we walked through the darkness.

“Kind of,” he replied.  “I mean, I miss aspects of it.”

“Like what?” I asked curiously as a young couple passed us hand-in-hand, completely oblivious to the fact that a famous celebrity was within arm’s length of them.

“My college days were when my music felt the most genuine,” he explained.  “It was back when we were on the cusp of fame.  The music was still about the music.  We weren’t bogged down by any of the bullshit that goes along with celebrity.”

“Like your record company?” I guessed.

“Yeah, like them,” Brandon muttered, his contempt showing.  “We weren’t a part of the business.  We were just a group of guys who loved to get onstage.  Back then I didn’t know how lucky I was to get to do my thing and go about my life uninterrupted...no paparazzi, no insanity, no rabid fans who thought they owned us.  Sometimes I wish I could have those days back.”

“Do you wish the fame had never happened?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Yes and no,” he replied.  “Obviously it’s been great in terms of the lifestyle it’s given me.”

“But it’s also crippled your lifestyle,” I pointed out, reading his mind.  “Look at how happy you were tonight to be able to go out in public without being hassled.  It’s so rare for you that when it actually happens it’s like a special occasion.  And you have to dress up like a unicorn to do it!”

“Well technically I don’t have to dress up like a
unicorn
,” he said pointedly, giving me A Look.

“Oh?” I smirked.

“This looks promising,” Brandon told me suddenly, nodding towards a large, stately looking stone building with an ornate fountain in front of it.  I squinted in the darkness and saw the sign out front.  It was a library.

We ascended the staircase, tried the front door and easily gained entry. 

But we didn’t head for the library.  Instead, Brandon led me down a hallway, keeping his head down the entire time in case we met anyone. 

But thankfully, we didn’t. 

The place was pretty much deserted.  In fact, under different circumstances I may have said it was eerily quiet.  But I was with the man I loved looking for a room where we could have sex.  How could I possibly be spooked when
that
was about to happen?  No, instead I was simply excited...in more ways than one.

We didn’t stop at the first empty room we passed, or even the second.  Instead, we walked all the way down to the very end of the quiet, darkened hallway.  There, we let ourselves into a small, nondescript classroom. 

Moonlight streamed in the window, illuminating the desks that were lined up in rows.  There was something oddly romantic about it...and naughty, too.  Were we really about to get it on in the middle of a college classroom?

My heart was pounding.

Shutting the door behind us, Brandon immediately pushed me up against the chalkboard.  His arms were on either side of my head, effectively pinning me in place.  My costume was going to be streaked with chalk marks but I didn’t care.  All I wanted was Brandon.

But then, suddenly, Brandon burst out laughing.  In fact, he was practically doubled over.

“What?” I demanded, completely perplexed as to why he’d suddenly dissolved into hysterics.

“Okay, I just...I can’t!” he snorted, trying to regain his composure.  “I suddenly got this mental image of how ridiculous I must look right now and...I know some people are into the whole dressing up thing, but ugh.  I need to take this damn costume off like, yesterday.” 

I hadn’t been able to see his costume very well in the darkness.  But once Brandon reminded me of it, I joined in laughing.  “Let me help,” I offered through my giggles, reaching around to unzip the back of his pink unicorn costume. 

“Did I completely ruin the moment?” he asked as he stepped out of the dreaded costume.

“Not at all,” I assured him.  “What are you wearing under there anyway?” I asked, squinting.

“Boxers,” he replied.

“That’s it?”

“Yes.  What, exactly, is one
supposed
to wear under a unicorn costume?”

“Beats me,” I shrugged. 

“Have I told you how much I’m in love with your costume?” he asked me.

“Only half a dozen times,” I replied.  “Please, feel free to say it again.”

“I am in complete and utter love with your costume...and the way your ass looks in the costume.  My God, you’re killing me Hayley.  But you know what would be even better than your ass in that sexy little cowgirl costume?”

My heart was pounding and I could feel my nipples hardening.  “What?”

“Your ass
out
of that sexy little cowgirl costume,” he replied amorously, expertly unzipping my shorts.  I shimmied out of them and then he ripped off my pink flannel shirt, popping some of the buttons in the process.  I didn’t care. 

As he freed me from the confines of my bra and his lips found my breasts, the way he was making me feel was all I cared about.  It was all I could think about.

Eventually we both ended up naked.  Then we put the professor’s desk to good use.

We fumbled around in the darkness, kissing and groping and grinding.  It was the hottest thing ever, going at it right there in a darkened college classroom where anyone could walk in at any time.  The added touch of danger was thrilling, and somehow made the sex even more incredible.

At first I was on top, riding Brandon as promised.  He gazed up at me lustfully in the moonlight, enjoying my naked form as I rhythmically moved my hips.  His hands moved up to my breasts, simultaneously supporting me and groping me as I took the reins, so to speak. 

The first time Brandon had encouraged me to try being on top, I had been nervous.  Actually, nervous wasn’t a strong enough word.  I had been petrified.

What if I was too heavy and squashed him?  What if I looked hideous, like a beached whale writhing around up there on top of him?  The horrifying mental image that had popped into my head had been devastating.  In fact, I had almost refused to do it...I had almost written myself off as someone who simply wasn’t cut out for being on top.