Heartbeat (13 page)

The sound of my phone vibrating interrupted me. I quickly rejected the call when I saw it was Rick. He called three more times back to back and I rejected them just as fast.

“You need to take that?”

I shook my head and dug into my enchiladas. There was no reason pretending, he knew it was Rick, but I liked that he didn’t say anything more about it.

Amir had a sense of humor that kept me laughing most of the night. He wasn’t just fine, he was funny and smart. I cursed at my luck. Why hadn’t I met him years ago? Amir was the kind of guy that was easy to fall in love with. I liked everything about him.

I looked at my phone briefly and saw that Rick had sent me the longest text message. I turned my phone off and gave the beautiful man sitting across from me my undivided attention.

When it was time to pay the check, he grabbed it up before I had the chance to reach for it. I felt some kind of way having him pay the tab, especially knowing that his business was struggling. But I wouldn’t dare say anything about it, I didn’t know him well, but I could tell that money was a touchy subject for him.

We walked out of the restaurant hand in hand and I didn’t care if I ran into someone I knew, I didn’t give a damn about anything but Amir.

“Well, Miss Charlie, I’ve enjoyed spending this time with you. We gotta link up again sometime soon.”

“Does the night have to end?” I said. I didn’t care if I was being forward. I knew what I wanted and I was going after it. I’d only had two glasses of wine, so I was sober this go around.

He cocked his eyebrow and looked me up and down. “Is that what you want?”

I nodded and butterflies gathered in the pit of my stomach. I had nervous energy running all through me but I was ready.

“Follow me,” he said before he walked to his car.

I hopped in mine and followed him home. There was no turning back now.

It had been two days since I was approached by Greg’s wife. It took most of my energy to just climb out of bed so I stayed in bed two days straight. I was ashamed of myself, because I’d allowed Destiny to cry herself to sleep several times a day. It was a good thing I was breast feeding, or she would have went hungry. I know I didn’t eat at all in two days. I couldn’t believe I was allowing myself to hurt this bad over Greg’s no good ass.

    But I was. I’d been a got-damn fool. How could I have not known he was married! The signs were all but hitting me upside my head. I’d ignored them and ended up having his baby! A baby he’d only seen a handful of times since she was born. The thought of it made me want to cry, but I was all cried out. Crying wouldn’t fix this mess. Crying wouldn’t do a damn thing so I didn’t let myself. I rolled over in bed and looked at my cell phone. I had a few missed calls from Mama and Daddy, but I damn sure wasn’t going to call either one of them back.

    There was a knock on my door. I wasn’t expecting anyone so I wasn’t going to answer it. I waited for a few minutes but the knocking continued so I forced myself out of bed and threw one of Greg’s old t-shirts over my head.

    I looked out the peephole and saw my neighbor, Denise. It took a few seconds before I decided to open the door. I wasn’t in the mood for company. I was sure I looked a mess and probably smelled even worse. I hadn’t washed my ass or brushed my teeth in two days. I continued to stare out of the peephole waiting on Denise to catch the hint, but her ass kept on knocking.

    I sighed and unlocked the door.

   “Damn, bitch! What took you so long?”

    I rolled my eyes. “I was sleeping.”

   “I saw your car parked outside so I knew you was home. I knew yo’ ass was up in here sleep. Where’s Destiny?”

    “She was sleep til’ you came over here beating on my damn door,” I said. I walked into my bedroom and picked Destiny up. She was screaming her head off. It was time to change her again.

    Denise sat on my couch and made herself comfortable. As I walked back into the living room with Destiny in my arms, she looked me up and down. “You look horrible.”

    “Thanks,” I said.

    “What’s wrong?”

    I shrugged. “Why you ask me that?”

    “Come on, Lake. It ain’t hard to tell something is up with you.”

    I concentrated on changing Destiny’s diaper like it was a hard ass algebra exam. I liked Denise and all, but I really didn’t feel like talking today so I ignored her.

    “It’s that nigga Greg, ain’t it?”

    I sighed again. I didn’t have to answer her, I was sure she could tell.

    “What has his dog ass done now?”

    I got up to throw Destiny’s diaper in the trash and nonchalantly said, “Well, his
wife
approached me at the gas station the other day. Come to find out, this nigga has a whole ‘notha life out there.” I felt like the biggest fool telling her that.

    She gasped and jumped to her feet. “He’s married?”

    I nodded and avoided her eye contact. I was ashamed of myself for being such a damn fool.

    Denise wasn’t looking at me like she was judging me. Instead, her eyes were filled with empathy. “How are you holding up?”

     I thought about lying and playing it off like I wasn’t bothered at all.

“It hurts like hell.” I sat back down on the couch. “I mean, I didn’t think that Greg and I were going to get married just because Destiny was born, but I did think it would happen eventually.” I laughed and the laugh was super bitter. “However, this nigga already has a fuckin’ wife. And probably a gang of kids, too.”

Denise smacked her lips and shook her head. “We can’t let him get away with this.”

I looked at her like she was crazy. “What do you mean
we
?”

“Look, Lake, the last nigga that hurt me, was the last nigga to hurt me. You give these niggas an inch and they take a mile. You have to show Greg that he can’t get away with doing you like this. You done gave him almost two years of your life. And for what? Nothing!”

I could feel myself getting riled up by Denise’s comments.

“This nigga can’t get away with this. We have to do something.”

“Do something like what?” I asked.

“You let me think of something. But don’t worry, Greg is going to pay for this shit.” There was a look on her face that made me realize this bitch was crazy. But I liked it and I liked the idea of making Greg pay even more.

❤❤❤❤❤

   Two days later, I found myself sitting in the passenger seat of a rental car with a baseball cap pulled low over my eyes. Denise had somehow found out where Greg lived with his wife, and now we were parked three houses down from their home. I had no idea what Denise had planned. As long as it would hurt Greg as much as he hurt me, I was down.

    It was around 8 at night so it was already dark outside, but both of us wore dark sunglasses as we stalked every movement at the home. I surveyed the house trying to imagine their lives there together. It was supposed to be Greg and me living in that house. The thought made me nauseous.

    “What are we gonna do?” I finally asked. We’d been sitting in the car for over an hour and I was getting restless. Not to mention, I was hungry and needed to pick Destiny up in less than an hour.

    Denise shushed me quickly. “He’s leaving.” She pointed toward the door and I saw Greg leaving the house with two kids!

     Something in the pit of my stomach curled. Those were Destiny’s siblings. Siblings I never even knew she had. I studied them. The boy looked to be about five years old and the little girl he held in his arms couldn’t have been more than one. I couldn’t see them well enough to determine if my daughter favored them. He had the nerve to be smiling as they walked to his truck.

    “Ok, what now?” I asked.

    “We’re going in,” Destiny said.

     “For what?” I wanted to know.

    “To confront that bitch.”

    “Confront her for what?” I watched as she unbuckled her seatbelt but I remained seated. I didn’t have anything to say to Greg’s wife.

    “Would you come on?” Denise pulled on me and I reluctantly followed her feeling like this was the stupidest idea ever.

    Denise rang the doorbell twice before Greg’s wife opened it. She briefly looked Denise over but once her eyes landed on me, her face curled into a frown. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

    “Shut up, bitch.” Denise pushed her way into the moderately sized home. Greg’s wife was taken by surprise and she tripped over her own feet as she was pushed backwards.

    I rushed inside the house and shut the door behind me. My adrenaline was pumping hard as I watched Denise attack Greg’s wife as if she were the mistress messing around with
my
husband.

    “Don’t just stand there, grab my backpack!” Denise yelled but I stood there frozen in total disbelief. What the hell was wrong with Denise and how did I let her talk me into this? “Hurry up! We don’t know how long he will be gone!”

    I snapped out of it and grabbed the black backpack Denise had brought along with us. When I opened it, I gasped. It had duct tape, rope, zip ties, and several different sharp knives safely tucked inside of it. “Wait a minute, Denise...what are you planning to do?”

    It must have been the fear in my voice that caused Greg’s wife to begin to fight for her life. And in a way, I wanted her to win because by the looks of the items in Denise’s backpack, she planned on doing much more than confronting her.

    “Hold her arms!” Denise yelled a she leaped for the backpack.

   I don’t know why I did it, but I held her down as she kicked, screamed and cussed. This was wrong. Everything in my body was telling me that, but I knew I was in too deep now to turn away.

    Before I could collect my thoughts, or even protest, Denise had plunged one of the knives in the helpless woman’s chest. I screamed but the scream was cut short when Denise shot me a look.

   I shut my eyes when she dug the knife in a second time but I could still hear the multiple stabs and when the body beneath me went limp, I knew she was dead.

    I was scared to do so, but I slowly opened my eyes. There was so much blood. I’d never seen so much blood in my life. I started trembling, knowing no matter how long I lived, I would never get this sight out of my memory.

    “Let’s go!” Denise had the nerve to have a shit-eating grin on her face. She looked as if she was satisfied with herself.

    She wrapped the knife in a black towel she’d had in her backpack. I felt as if I were outside of my body as I followed her back to the rental car. Although I’d just watched it, I couldn’t wrap my head around what we’d just done or why I hadn’t tried to stop it.

        I rejected Harris’ call for the second time today. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Yeah, he was very attractive, had a career and seemed like he was a nice guy, but I wasn’t interested. I’m sure there were plenty of women that would have jumped at the opportunity to be with a guy like Harris, but not me. I was feeling cynical about getting into another relationship down to the point where I wasn’t even sure if a good, faithful, man even existed. I couldn’t count on one hand the number of successful marriages I knew of, and that was all because the men in those failed marriages was a dog ass nigga.

    So I wasn’t about to waste any more time with Harris. I was just going to concentrate on stacking my paper and put love on the back burner.

    I pulled up in front of my favorite nail salon and walked inside. I was supposed to be meeting Lake and Charlie there, but of course both of them were late.

“What can we do for your nail?” The Vietnamese nail technician asked me as soon as I walked through the door. I told her I wanted a pedicure and I picked out my nail color while I waited on Lake and Charlie’s late asses.

My phone vibrated inside of my purse but I didn’t bother to check my phone because something told me it was Harris. I was going to have to let him down as soon as possible because he obviously wanted more than what I could offer him. I should have never went on that date because I’d given him the wrong impression, and now he thought it was more than what it was.

Finally, Lake walked into the salon. She looked a mess and I had to literally bite my bottom lip to keep from telling her so. Her hair was pulled into a raggedy faux ponytail and she didn’t even bother to gel her edges down or blend her real hair with the ponytail. She looked like she had dark circles forming underneath her eyes and just looked flat out exhausted. Seeing her like this made me feel bad because she must have been going through it trying to adjust to becoming a new mother, and I could have volunteered to take Destiny off her hands every now and then to give her a break.  
    “Damn, Lake, you look like shit,” I blurted out. I felt bad as soon as I said it, but there was no way I was going to be able to spend the whole day with her and not tell her so.

She reactively touched her hair and dropped her eyes to the floor. “Well, damn. Thanks Kesha.”

I looked her up and down and shook my head. “You having a bad day or something?”

She shrugged. “Bad week.”

I was about to ask her details but when the door chimed and Charlie was walking inside of the salon, we both turned our attention toward her.

“Hey, bitch, where you been hiding?” I reached for her and gave her a hug.

I hadn’t talked to her in three days so I assumed she was working shit out with Rick. She was smiling and looking all giddy so I guess I was right.

“I been busy,” she said.

“Busy doing what? Makin’ up with the husband?”

She turned her lip up and sucked her teeth “Hell naw.” She turned her attention to Lake. “You should be asking Lake where she been, since she can’t return nobody’s calls.”

“Lake been having a bad week,” I said. I couldn’t help but add, “Can’t you tell?”

Lake glared at me and Charlie quickly changed the subject. “What color ya’ll hoes getting?”

I had a peach color in my hand and Lake was still looking over the variety of colors.

“No, but for real. Where ya’ll been? I haven’t talked to either one of ya’ll in forever. What’s going on?” I looked at both of them upside their heads. I usually talked to at least one of them every day but not lately.

Lake shrugged as she picked up a nail polish. “Bitch, I just had a baby I don’t got time to be sitting on the phone with your ass all day.”

Charlie and I looked at her like she was crazy for the way she’d just snapped at me. But I decided since she was having such a bad week, I was going to let it slide, this time.

The nail tech led us to the middle of the salon where the pedicure bowls were and we all sat down.

“You like something to drink?” One of the nail technicians asked.

“Champagne would be great,” Lake said.

“I’ll take a bottled water,” I said.

    “No, thank you,” Charlie said. “I went out with Amir again,” she said after the girl walked away to get our drinks.

    Lake and I gasped at the same time.

    “You’re lying, right?” I said. No wonder her ass was all smiley. I would have been too, if I’d been out with that fine ass man.

    “What about Rick?” Lake’s dumb ass said.

I looked at her like she was stupid. “What about his lying, cheating, ass?”

Lake rolled her eyes at me. She then stared at Charlie like she was really expecting an answer.

“Girl, I ain’t worried about Rick. I already met with this bomb ass divorce attorney and started the process.” She waved her hand dismissively in the air and I noticed she wasn’t wearing that big ass wedding ring either.

    “Damn, Charlie, you sure?” I asked.  I mean, I was all for her leaving Rick, but I wanted her to be sure this was what she really needed to do. I was the last person to advocate true love, because I definitely didn’t believe in that fairy tale shit anymore, but Rick and Charlie were
Rick and Charlie.

    “Yea, I’m sure. It wasn’t just Kia, ya’ll…”

    Lake gasped, “There were more bitches?” 
    Charlie nodded but I could tell she didn’t want to go into detail.

    “Well, do you, Charlie. I got your back completely.”

She nodded and we sat in silence for a while digesting what Charlie had said.

    “Whatever happened with you and Officer Moore?” Lake asked.

    I started to tell her to mind her own business since she had such a pissy ass attitude with me. “Nothing happened with us.”

    “You went to Morelys with him, didn’t you?” Lake pushed.

    “Yeah, but that was just to get a free meal. I ain’t feeling him,” I said but it tasted like a lie as soon as I said it.

    “Why not? He was fine as hell,” Charlie said.

     “I’m just not trying to get involved with a nigga right now. I mean, me and Darnel just broke up.”

    “And what better way to get over a man than to get under another?” Charlie said.

    “You would know, huh, bitch?” I said with a laugh.

    She licked her lips. “I know better than you think I do.”

   “You didn’t!” Lake said with her mouth wide open.

    I had a similar expression on my face. “You lying!”

    “I did.”

    “You fucked him?” I whispered. I didn’t know why I was whispering, it must have been the shock having the effect on my vocal chords.

    When she nodded, it left Lake and me shocked silent. Charlie had always been a good girl, this was so out of her character. If there was any doubt, it was completely erased now, she was definitely leaving Rick.

    There was a long silence between us before Lake finally broke it asking, “How was it?”

    “Girl, I never knew sex could be this good.” Charlie rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “I been missing out all these years with Rick.”

    “So, what now?” I asked.

    She shrugged. “I don’t know, Kesha. I’m just taking it one day at a time.”

    I looked Charlie upside her head. I understood that her heart was broken and it led her into the arms of another man. As fine as Amir was, it would have been hard to not give him the draws. I was hoping she wouldn’t be stupid enough to fall in love with him.

    “Don’t go falling in love with him, Charlie. Cause you know as well as I do, that these niggas ain’t shit,” I said.

    “She’s right.” Lake surprised me by saying.

    Charlie dismissed us both by waving her hand in the air and we all changed the subject once three nail technicians sat at our feet to begin our pedicures.

❤❤❤❤❤

   
I don’t know if I said or did anything to offend you because I haven’t heard from you since we went to dinner...just checking to make sure you’re ok…

   
I reread the text for the second time and realized I should just respond to Harris.

   
Sorry! Just been really busy. I’m fine. Thanks for checking!

   
I hoped that answer would suffice because I didn’t have anything else to say to Harris.  Of course my phone chimed again.

   
Was hoping we could go out again...are you busy now...can I call?

   
I cursed under my breath. This dude was not going to give up easily. I ran the idea of having a second date with him around in my mind. It couldn’t be that bad. He was nice looking, and had excellent taste as Morelys was a great first date option. But I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea and think it was more than what it was. Either way, I needed time to think about it, so I rolled over and went to sleep, deciding to return his text in the morning.

I was awakened to the sound of hard knocking on my door. My first thought ran to Darnel. I climbed out of bed while making sure I had my pistol in my right hand. I walked up to my door and looked out the peephole. It was Harris!

It took a second before I opened the door. I was looking a complete mess with a black hair bonnet over my head and wearing an oversized worn out t-shirt.

As soon as I opened the door, Harris looked relieved.

“What are you doing here?” I asked while surveying him. He was out of uniform wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt.

“You didn’t respond to my texts, Kesha. I got concerned. Not to mention, you have a crazy ex.”

I sighed because I should have known Harris would have popped up over my house if I ignored him for too long.

“Sorry,” was all I could say. I stepped aside and asked, “Would you like to come in?”

He looked like he was debating with the idea before walking inside of my condo. “You were sleeping?” He asked as if he couldn’t tell by my appearance.

I looked at the time on my stove. It was past 11. “Yeah, I usually am around this time.”

He chuckled. “Well, I called three times before hopping in my car and heading over.”

Three times? I must have been knocked out because I didn’t hear my phone ring once. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before offering him one.

He declined, but I caught him staring at me as I walked back into the living area. I sat across from him on the couch and drank the water like I was dehydrated.

“You didn’t have to drive all the way out here, but I appreciate you for doing so.”

He smiled at me, “If I knew all I had to do was pop up at your house to get you to talk to me, I would have done so days ago.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. I knew I was wrong for ignoring him, I didn’t have any excuse so I didn’t even say anything back to him.

He sat across from me staring at me, making me question the reason I was ignoring him in the first place. “I like you, Kesha. But I don’t play games. If I’m coming on too strong, or you’re not interested, let me know. I’m a big boy, I can handle it.”

I should have told him. I should have just let him know that I wasn’t interested. But as I sat across from him I knew it would have been a lie if I said so. And for some reason, I couldn’t look him in his eyes and lie to him.

“It’s not that I’m not interested…” I let my voice trail off while I searched for the right words to say to him. “I’m just not trying to get hurt.”

He got up from the couch and walked over to me. My breath got caught up in my throat as he sat next to me and took my face in his hands. “Kesha, I’m not trying to hurt you. Just give me the chance to show you what I’m about.”

I didn’t like the way my resolve was melting at his touch. I didn’t know if Harris was going to be another disappointment, but I couldn’t worry about that as he pressed his lips against mine. He softly parted my lips with his tongue and before I knew it, he had me laid out on my couch with his body on top of mine.

It’d been a while since I’d had sex and my body was reacting to Harris as if it had been years. My legs parted and allowed room for his body. I kissed him back and allowed his kisses to fall to my neck and before I knew it, my bonnet was on the floor and his hands were tangled up in my hair.

He laughed suddenly breaking the heat and passion that was radiating off both of us. “I swear, I didn’t come over here for this,” he said.

I gave him a side eye but for some reason I believed him. And for reasons beyond me, I wanted him. He sat up and adjusted his clothes while I ran my hands through my hair. He stood up and headed for the door. I followed him, not wanting him to leave but refusing to protest.

“I’m gonna call you in the morning and check on you, Kesha. Answer the call, ok?”

I nodded, knowing none of his calls would go unanswered now.