Heart of the Bear (Hells Canyon Shifters Book 5) (10 page)

Jonathan clung to her waist as Jesse stood. Her mate canted his head as he turned his glare on Miranda. “Don’t,” he growled out.

Miranda screamed, and it turned to a roar as a massive grizzly burst from her tiny body. Jesse backed up until he was standing protectively in front of Rae and Jonathan.

“Dad!” Jonathan yelled.

“I won’t let her get to you,” he said, his voice too low to be human.

The sound of his feral words lifted the hairs on Rae’s arms, but it was the sight of the she-grizzly, standing on her hind legs, bellowing a challenge that had her retreating slowly behind Jesse. His hand rested on her hip as he guided her backward. She couldn’t see his face from here, but his neck had gone as red as his hair, and his shoulders were heaving.

“I challenge Jesse for second!” Landon shouted out, and Rae looked on in horror as he changed on the edge of the crowd. Landon’s blond-colored grizzly charged straight for them, the ground shaking as his powerful legs propelled him forward.

Ethan sprinted toward them, eyes empty and silver as an enormous, scarred bear burst from him.

Jesse hunched into himself, and a towering black bear ripped from his skin, all fur, teeth, and claws. He stood just in time to catch the blond challenger, and just as Miranda bunched her muscles to attack Rae, she spun-lunged for the tree line with Jonathan. She wasn’t nearly fast enough, and could hear the bear’s panting breath right behind her. At the last second, she cried out and fell to her knees, covering Jonathan’s little body with her own. He was just a kid, and everything had gone so wrong.

A breeze glanced across her neck, urging her to clutch Jonathan even tighter, but when the pain she expected didn’t come, she lifted her fear-filled gaze.

Jesse was latched onto the challenger’s throat, and Ethan was locked in battle with Miranda.

Rae.

Crimson splattered against the grass beside her.

Rae.

The rage in Jesse’s eyes was infinite.

Rae.

She didn’t understand anything that was happening.

“Rae!” Reese screamed as she bolted toward her. Her voice finally broke through her shock at the violence before her. “Give me Jonathan! Rae,” Reese cried, skidding on her knees beside her and pulling Jonathan out of Rae’s embrace, “you have to run.”

When Rae followed Reese’s pointed finger, horror filled her as the Seven Devils clan began to change into their animals.

“What’s happening?” Rae whimpered.

“Ethan and Jesse are too worked up. They’re pulling the change from everyone. I’ll protect the cub with my life. I swear it. Rae!” Reese gripped her shoulder so hard it hurt. “Run.”

Ethan’s fight was getting closer. Miranda was bleeding heavily, but the hatred in her eyes landed on Rae time and time again.

She jumped up and pumped her legs as hard as she could until she reached the big tent. A bear came around the other side, and she screamed and ran the other way. She tripped right as she reached her car and landed hard in the dirt. Her old Honda groaned as something big hit the other side of it.

Panicked, Rae crawled forward and yanked the door handle, then poured into the driver’s seat. The keys sat on the dashboard, and she fumbled for the right one. The engine revved as she missed a gear. To try to focus, she bit her bottom lip until she tasted blood. Whatever was happening here, she wasn’t a part of it like she’d thought.

A sob wrenched from her throat, and tears blurred her eyes as she peeled out onto the dirt road that would lead out of the mountains—the one that would lead out of the home she’d thought she found.

What good was she here? Jesse would always have to protect her and bleed for her. She couldn’t even defend Jonathan when all she had were blunt nails and dulled teeth against monsters. She was nothing but a weaponless, pathetic human in a clan of bears. Out of her element, she wouldn’t survive here long.

Looking in the rearview as the battling bears faded and disappeared, her shoulders sagged with the despair that came from leaving this place.

Miranda was right.

She didn’t belong here.

The weeks that followed Rae’s time at Hells Canyon were the worst of her life. She’d gone back to her apartment in Portland, but it hadn’t felt like home anymore. She’d already given her heart to another place nestled in the mountains. With Jesse, she’d discovered parts of herself she hadn’t known existed—pieces of herself she liked—and now they were gone again.

Hells Canyon had changed her, and now her soul craved more growth. She’d lived in those couple of days up there, but here, in the city, she’d withered to a shell of her former self.

The job she’d been offered had been given to someone else, and as she searched for a new position, she thought of the rangers and how they loved their work. How they found passion for protecting the land in their territory and the campers who visited their park. She imagined the ATV ride and Jesse’s animated face when he talked about working at the ranger tower. She wanted something that challenged her and made her want to be a better person like that.

Nights were the worst. When darkness fell, and she was all alone in her bed, she had to fight the urge to go back to him. And then the nightmares would begin, and she’d wake up screaming, and sometimes crying, from dreams she couldn’t ever remember.

Hells Canyon had been the best thing to ever happen to her, and then it had broken her.

Jesse hadn’t called, but Reese had. Everyone was all right after the battles, and Jesse was now second to Ethan. She explained how he was a legendary Cress alpha, and that Jesse helping Ethan run the clan was a huge accomplishment. The Seven Devils hadn’t had a black bear as a second in over a hundred years. They’d all been grizzlies. Reese sounded proud, but there were undercurrents of worry, and it was clear she wasn’t telling Rae everything.

It hurt too badly to talk about the life she could’ve had there, so Rae didn’t ask questions.

Reese had asked her if she was coming back to Hells Canyon, but how could she ever feel safe there again? The complexities of the Seven Devils clan was too much for an outsider. She’d never be able to tell when Jesse’s people would try to hurt her, or why.

She was dead if she went back, and she was dead here in the city.

Rae pulled a hoodie over her ponytail and glimpsed her reflection in the hallway mirror. Pale skin and hollow eyes made her look away quickly. She’d liked the changes the mountains had made in her and wanted to feel that strong and confident again. So today, she was going to go for a long hike on the edge of the city. If she was lucky, her despair would be eased by fresh air, like medicine for her soul.

She opened the front door and jumped, nearly startled out of her skin. Ethan stood there, hand raised as if he was about to knock.

“Sorry,” he said in a gruff voice. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

It was just after dawn and still foggy out. Ethan’s messy hair hung across one of his bright eyes, and he stood back and leaned against the railing of her porch.

Rae cleared her throat in an attempt to gather the wits he’d scared out of her. “What are you doing here?”

“Reese asked you to come back.”

“She did, but I don’t feel safe going back there. Surely, you can understand.”

“Reese asked you, and now I’m asking you. Jesse… He needs you.”

God, those words battered her heart. No, Ethan had it wrong. She was the one who needed Jesse. She just couldn’t figure out a way to make things right between them.

She swallowed hard so her voice wouldn’t tremble when she said, “I’m sorry, Ethan. I won’t tell anyone about you or your people.” Her voice hitched. “I love them. I love… I love Jesse. I’d never do anything to hurt your clan, but I’m not a part of them.”

“That’s bullshit. Yes you are. What Miranda did was unforgiveable. We don’t attack humans. It isn’t the way we do things, and it goes against our instincts to protect. She’s been banished for good. Landon issuing a challenge during such a volatile moment got him punished, too. He was trying to take advantage of Jesse’s distraction with protecting you and Jonathan. He messed up, but he wasn’t after you. He was after a higher rank in the clan.”

“And what about all the other bears? They changed, and Reese told me to run. I was terrified.”

“They were confused, and their alpha was going to battle for reasons they didn’t understand. Part of that was my fault. It was Bear’s fault. As alpha, I should’ve had more control not to let my animal’s dominance affect my people like that. I just wanted to protect Jesse and you and Jonathan. He’s my best friend, and if Miranda hurt you or his son, it would break him.”

“Ethan—”

“Jesse’s hurt, Rae.”

She froze and snapped her gaze to his. “What?”

“He’s hurt from the fight, and he’s not getting any better.”

“But shifters heal faster than humans.”

“Yeah, but we’ve waited, and it isn’t working for him. I think he doesn’t care if he gets better. You think you aren’t a part of my clan, but you’re wrong.” His voice faltered as he lowered his eyes. “I need you to come home. I need you to save my best friend.”

Her reasons for staying away from Jesse didn’t matter now. Hang her safety if he was hurt. The clan needed him, and Jonathan needed his father. But it was more than that. She needed him to exist. She needed to know that somewhere in the Hells Canyon Mountains, a red-headed bear shifter lived with his son, protecting his land.

Even if being there caused her physical risk, she had to help the man she had fallen hopelessly in love with.

“I’ll follow you there,” she told Ethan.

The drive took an eternity. Each mile brought more worry for the man she’d left behind. It wasn’t until she saw the first stretch of mountain range that her grip relaxed on the wheel. Memories and a deep well of relief overwhelmed Rae as she drove over the ridge and saw the ranger camp. She’d convinced herself she’d never see this place again, and now here she was. It hadn’t changed in the weeks she’d been gone, but the dark clouds that covered the sun, and the raindrops splattering against her windshield brought a quiet melancholy to the place that hadn’t been here before.

A woman ran toward the big tent in the center of the clearing where a number of the clan seemed to be gathered. She followed Ethan’s forest green-colored Bronco and parked beside it in front of Jesse’s house. Jonathan sat on the front porch with his chin in his hands, but when she stepped from her beat up old car, he stood.

“You came back,” he said. The boy’s blond hair was mussed, and his eyes were pooled with more worry than any kid should be saddled with.

“He’s inside,” Ethan murmured with a gesture of his hand. “Jonathan, you’re going to work a tower shift with me today, buddy.”

The boy’s eyes lit up, and he swung his gaze back to Rae. “Are you going to fix my dad?”

Emotion clogged her throat, and she hugged his slim shoulders against her hip. “We’ll get him sorted out. Don’t you worry. Go have fun with Ethan, and when you get back, we’ll all have a big meal.”

“Okay. Can I keep your pocket knife?” he asked, holding up her multi-tool. “After you left, dad said I could have it.”

A slow, understanding smile took her face. “Sure. It’s yours now.”

Jonathan’s answering grin transformed his face as he pocketed it. Then he bustled through the front door and called out, “I’m going with Mr. Ethan, dad. He’s taking me to work at the tower. I’ll be back later.”

The boy waited until Jesse’s answer traveled from his open bedroom door. “That’ll be fine, boy. Do as he says.”

Jonathan gave her a half-smile and rested his head against her stomach for just a moment before he bounded for the door. “Rae?” he asked, turning at the frame. “I’m glad you came back.”

She pursed her lips against the urge to hug him again, and took a steadying breath as he closed the door behind him. The house was dark and rain pattered against the roof. Dull blue light filtered in through the windows, but she still had to pick her way carefully through the living room.

Jesse sat on his bed with his back to her, his head buried in his hands. “I thought you left me for good.” He turned his brilliant green eyes on her over his shoulder.

Rae’s breath caught in her throat at how much she’d missed him—at how beautiful he was now, even in the muted light of his bedroom.

“I thought I did, too.” She stepped around the bed slowly, and he unfolded his legs and stood to his full height.

One of his knees stayed bent, his leg resting on his toe. He wore briefs and nothing else, and she was taken with how strong he looked. This masculine creature had more power in his left hand than she possessed in her entire body, and he was waiting for her to approach, as if he didn’t want to startle her.

She raked her gaze down his stomach, flexing with every breath, and past his gray briefs. A bandage covered his entire right thigh. She lifted her gaze back to his and touched the beard he hadn’t bothered to shave in a long time. It was red, with gold highlights, and soft when she touched it with her fingertips. It was the sadness in his eyes that held her, though. “Did I do this?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and moisture rimmed his eyes as he looked away. “No, this is on me.” He cupped her cheek, and she leaned against his warm palm. “I’m sorry about what happened, Rae. I should’ve told you about Jonathan as soon as I thought there was a chance we’d work out. I was scared of you leaving and was trying to protect my son, but that’s not an excuse. I handled it wrong and put you in front of Miranda. My decision put you at risk, and I’m so sorry.”

He hissed in pain as he adjusted his weight, and she eased him back onto the bed. Pulling her forward, he rested his head against her stomach and gripped her waist.

“Forgive me,” he pleaded.

“Only if you forgive me for leaving,” she whispered. The first tear made its way down her cheek as she stared at a framed photograph of the Oregon Mountains on his wall.

“Tell me you’re here to stay.” His fingers dug into her hips like he was afraid she’d disappear at any moment. “Please, Rae. Stay here and build a life with me and Jonathan. I don’t want to raise him with anyone else. I don’t want anyone but you.”

She ran her fingers through his hair and hugged him tighter to her stomach. “I couldn’t leave here now, even if I wanted to.”

“Because Ethan won’t let you?”

“No, silly bear. Because I love you.”

His eyes lifted to hers, and a slow smile took his face. There he was—her Jesse, her mate. “Say it again.”

She drew a shaky breath as another tear slid down her cheek. “I love you.”

He rubbed his thumb over the moisture under her lashes, and looked at her with adoration pooling in his eyes. “Mate,” he whispered. “I love you, too.”