Heart Matters (35 page)

Her fingers sank in his hair in response as
he crushed her to him.
One last time
, she thought,
I need
him one last time
. He swept her in his arms easily and carried
her up the staircase to his room. He laid her on the bed and
stripped his shirt.

Jessica gulped at the sight of his
magnificent torso. He was more breathtaking than she remembered
him. He got in next to her and ran a caressing hand over her
shivering form. “You are so beautiful!”

He drew the flimsy nightdress away and
stared at her as he had before. He reached out with his hand to
trace a delicate pattern over smooth skin. His fingers stroked her
trembling lips, then circled her taut nipples and finally rested
over her abdomen. He placed his palm gently over it, gazing into
her startled eyes. He bent and placed a feather light kiss on her
lips. “I know, my love.”

His words stilled her. She stared at him
feeling trapped. He had guessed about her pregnancy and that’s why
he had enacted this charade. He had literally stripped her naked so
that she couldn’t hide the truth from him. Her stomach was still
flat but she couldn’t lie to him, not now. She tried to draw away
from him but he held her firmly. “Tell me why did you try to hide
it from me?”

Her eyes were moist as they avoided looking
at him. She didn’t want to beg but she had no choice. “Don’t take
it away from me. Please.”

His eyes darkened dangerously. “The child is
mine, Jessica. Why did you try to hide it from me?”

Her smoky eyes flashed at him suddenly with
so much pain in them that it startled him. “It’s all I have! It’s
all you left me! And now you’ll take it away from me!” She began
struggling against him. “I won’t let you! I won’t ever let you win!
I’ll fight you till I die but I’ll never give you custody of my
child!”

“Jessica!” he shouted, trying to keep her
from clawing at his face, “Jessica, stop it!” He was almost on top
of her, pinning her with his weight. “Look, you could hurt the
baby.” His wild reasoning stopped her and she dissolved in tears.
He groaned, holding her against him gently. “Don’t cry, my love,
please don’t.” He sat up and drew her in his arms. He rocked her
tenderly till she stopped crying.

When she was sure, she was in control of her
emotions; Jessica pulled the bed sheet around her and faced him
boldly. “I won’t give up my child, Steven Hart, not till the day I
die.”

His eyes dilated. “Why do you think I’d take
the child away from you?”

His question caught her unawares. She hadn’t
expected him to cross-question her. “Because you love kids.”

“Of course, I love kids. I’ll love ours
more.”

Ours
. It sounded good coming from
him. “Since you already know about it, I’m willing to settle the
matter amicably. You can see him on weekends and holidays but he’ll
stay with me.”

The blue eyes stared at her in amazement. So
that’s what it was all about! “I won’t have it that way,” he stated
deliberately baiting her, “The child is mine and I want to see him
grow before my eyes, in my home, with my wife.”

The color drained from Jessica’s face. He
couldn’t possibly mean it! Not only was he planning to take her
child away, he was also planning to get him a stepmother! She
shifted so that she was directly before him, begging him with her
desperate eyes. “Don’t do it, Steven, please. I beg of you, don’t
do this to me. You have no idea what this child means to me. You
can have another one, but this one is mine. Please, Steven, I’ll do
whatever you ask of me. Please, I beg of you!”

Steven shook his head not wanting to torment
her anymore. But he couldn’t stop himself. “So you’ll do whatever I
say?” She nodded vigorously. He folded his arms across his chest,
rubbing his day old stubble as though appraising her. “Okay, let’s
see you try to seduce me.”

The gray eyes were wide with astonishment.
“What?” she almost shouted. He began laughing even as she stared at
him helplessly. “Steven, please be serious!”

“I am, sweetheart,” he chuckled, dropping a
teasing kiss on her soft lips. “But let me get the order of things
I want you to do for me.” His covered her hands in his large ones,
drawing them to lie against his chest. “First and foremost, I want
you to wear that sexy thing I gave you to bed every night. Second,
I want you to make love with me till the day that I die. Third, I
want you to share my life with me and let me share yours. Fourth, I
want you to grow old with me. Fifth, I want you to be the mother of
all my children. Sixth, I want you to be the wife you vowed to be.
And seventh,” he paused to wipe away the tears that fell from her
eyes, “I want you to love me just as much as I love you.”

Jessica watched him through her bleary eyes
looking for a sign of sarcasm but found nothing but sincerity in
his deep blue eyes. She had dreamt of this moment for so long and
now it had finally come true. He loved her! He truly loved her! She
flung herself in his arms, shaking with uncontrollable sobs. He
stroked her gently, rocking her in his arms. “Do I take it you’ll
comply?”

She drew back a little to look into his
smiling face. “You really meant what you said?”

“Every single word my darling.” He cupped
her face, tilting it towards him. “I’ve loved you since you were a
freckled fourteen year old you fool! But I didn’t know, not till I
made love to you that night back in Maui. Then I was sure. I knew
we were meant to be together. I knew I could never let you go. You
were mine, you
are
mine, Jessica, you will always be mine!”
He said the last words with such passion that she stared at him in
awe.

Why had she never realized it before? Ida’s
sneering face flashed before her eyes and her face shadowed. He
caught the uncertainty in the clouded pools of her eyes
immediately. “Darling, we have a lot of doubts to clear. Would you
like to listen to my side of the story first?” She nodded
tentatively, almost relieved to have the burden of explanations off
her shoulders.

He settled comfortably, sitting up against
the pillows propped against the bedstead. He didn’t draw her in his
arms but instead let her sit where she was so she could see him
clearly. “Jessica, we’ve been through a lot together,” he began,
before smiling briefly, “Most of which have been misunderstandings.
I guess we both crashed head on with inflated egos when we first
met. Jeff had told me a lot about you since the day our friendship
began. That’s when I’d seen your picture in his wallet. I never
gave a serious thought till he sent you into my life again. I had
no idea what you were like and I especially didn’t like it when you
were late for our appointment.

“But what can you do when you’re fated to be
together? When I saw you dancing in Warring’s arms, kissing him
with those luscious lips, I was beside myself with frustration. You
hit me with a force I’d not known existed. I fell hard for you that
night and knew, come what may, I wasn’t going to rest till I’d made
you mine.” He paused looking a bit guilty.

“I deliberately led you on that security bit
so you’d hasten your decision to marry that bastard Warring. Not
that I intended to let you marry him but I wanted to show you his
true colors. I had Niki throw that ridiculous masquerade party and
I got someone to get him drunk enough to lose his common
sense.”

Jessica gasped, her hands flying to her red
cheeks. “You couldn’t possibly have done all that?”

He shrugged, looking a trifle embarrassed.
“I had no choice, I wanted you and honey he
was
cheating on
you.”

“I can’t believe Niki was in it too!”

“
She
had no choice; I used Sean to
blackmail her.”

This time she groaned out aloud. “I don’t
even want to know how he did it!”

“Yeah, that was his problem. Anyway, we
somehow managed to get Shari out there with him and the rest is
history.”

She was plainly disgusted at the memory. “I
was such a fool to trust him.”

“You were a thickheaded, sentimental idiot,
that’s what you were. I couldn’t believe my ears when you said you
wanted to make it up to him! I kicked myself when you almost walked
down the aisle to him.”

Her eyes mellowed as she watched his
handsome face. “You left the choice to me and I suddenly knew I was
fooling no one but myself.”

“I had to refrain myself from approaching
you after that. I’m glad I succeeded. You walked right into my
arms. I was mad with joy but I confused it with my physical desire
for you. I wanted you as my wife and as the mother of my children
but I had no reason why. I just thought you were perfect for the
part.”

“Part?”

“My love, you have to forgive me. After Ida,
I had come to distrust all women.”

“Ida,” she mouthed slowly.

“Ida,” he confirmed, shaking his head
regretfully, “That’s one person I wish had never shown up in our
lives. I won’t deny I hadn’t been crazy about her once upon a time.
But I was young then and she was a glamorous apparition that showed
some interest in me. I mistook it for love. Now I know it wasn’t.
When she walked out of my life, I suffered a lot, but realized in
my suffering that it hadn’t been true love. I had also mistakenly
convinced myself that I wasn’t going to fall into love with any
woman because they weren’t worth it.

“Then you came into my life and changed
everything. I never realized the longing I felt was the love I had
for you. I got married to you because I thought you’d be with me
forever. That’s why when you called out Warring’s name when I tried
to make love to you; it hurt my ego real bad. I thought you were as
faithless as Ida and tried to run away from you. But as the days
went by I found my longing for you only increase. I can’t tell you
how I felt when you left for Maui without informing me. I thought
you’d left me and I was beside myself with panic. When I found out
you were at Maui I knew I couldn’t afford to lose any more time.”
He reached out a covered her hand in a gentle grasp. “I loved you
that night as if my life depended on it. I couldn’t have enough of
you, Jessica, I still can’t.”

His was drawing abstract circles on her palm
with his thumb and she felt herself going weak. His mere touch was
enough to make her forget all her misgivings and beg him to make
love to her. But she could sense him struggling to refrain himself
from giving in to desire so she held back.

“Ida and Jake sent me some pictures,
Jessica.” He watched her face go ashen and gave a reassuring
squeeze to her hand. “No, it wasn’t the ones of you with Jake. It
was you with Mark.”

Her gray eyes went wide, a slow flush
coloring her cheeks. “Ty’s very dear to me.”

“I know that honey and I won’t question your
relationship with him.” He watched her closely. “He killed a man
for you, Jessica; I can’t ever bear a grudge towards him. And I
trust you. I knew you were incapable of deceiving me when I saw the
pictures of you and Mark at the waterfront. What troubled me was
who had taken them and what was the intention?

“I came back to you then, frightened out of
my mind that I was going to lose you but when we made love that day
on the beach, I knew you were completely mine.

“Ida appeared at a moment I was least
expecting,” he continued, a grim frown beginning to crease his
forehead, “I was prepared to throw her out when Senator Devon
called me. He begged me to humor her until he got to the island to
cajole her into going back home. He couldn’t afford a scandal at
this point of his career and I only felt sorry for him. I decided I
could balance out the situation but things really got out of hand
when she hired Wallace to kill you. I had no idea she was so
vindictive. I was scared as hell when you were attacked and even
got my private eye to keep a watch on you. Only he didn’t prove so
clever. Wallace attacked him that evening when you saw him at the
bottom of the balcony.

“I was frantic but the situation was out of
my control. Had I known Ida was behind it all, I’d have prevented
us all a lot of hurt. She staged the entire thing with me in her
bed for the senator’s eyes. Unfortunately, for me, you were there
first. I came around only later when he arrived. We had a hard time
trying to get Ida under control. She went hysterical and tried to
shoot us. And then, I came to know the entire truth. I felt my
heart had been ripped out when I realized Jake was after you. I
found you alive but when he slit your throat I felt my world had
been torn apart.” Steven carried her hand to rest her palm against
his lips. His eyes held hers, showing all the love he felt for her.
“I died a thousand deaths by your bedside, Jessica. I prayed to the
Lord to give me just one more chance and I’d give you all the love
in this world. My prayers were answered, you survived but your
accusations were something I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t realize
then that you were hurting just as much as I was. I waited for
hours by the phone for a call from you but when you didn’t, I
thought it was over between us.

“My heart still refused to accept defeat.
Jeff told me your therapist said you required more time but I
almost went crazy. I spent days trying to find some excuse to see
you but found none. And then today when I saw you out there by the
wharf, the sun shining through your hair, I knew you’d been sent to
me. I knew I was never letting you go now, not ever.” He caught
both her hands in his and drew her closer. “Now tell me, Jessica
Hart, will you be my wife for as long as we live, to love and to
cherish, to obey and to respect, will you be the mother of all my
children, will you?”

Jessica cried then, tears of happiness that
came straight from her heart. She now knew all her sessions with
the therapist were in vain. She had nothing to forgive. She just
had to give her love and get it in turn.