Healing my Heart: Book 2 - My Heart Series (23 page)

Chapter 25

 
Sweet music to my ears

Kade

This is how I remember the girl that you were

These are the thoughts that get me through

Memories feel real but now you’re with him

Can
’t you see how much I still want you?

Always and forever

I
’ll think of you in my dreams

Hold you tight

We were so right

Your eyes were so raw

I want you some more

Song lyrics, I can
’t believe that all my emotions and feelings have turned into song lyrics. They were poems at first, but writing music is slightly cooler than poetry.

I wonder if Jeremy might put them to music as an original for his band The Electric
Beat. But then again, they wouldn’t be any good compared to the ones they write, that I am sure of.

It
’s Friday afternoon and I’m getting ready for surf training. I’m not looking forward to the fucking thirty km run we are doing today. I hear my phone ringing so I run to the kitchen bench where I left it. I see Pete’s name flashing.

“
Hey Kado, how are you bro? Can you believe it’s only a month before I get to meet my daughter? Pete says to me sounding excited.

“
Oh damn big daddy! That is close now, you will be beating the boys off with a stick,” I stir my mate and chuckle as I know he will hate it.

“
Damn straight I will, aint no guy will ever be good enough for my princess,” Pete replies and chuckles himself. “So bro we are going to choose some furniture and we need your help and maybe your Ute?” Pete tells me sarcastically, half asking and half telling me.

“
Always using me for something you two. Just because I’m going to be Uncle Kade in a few months I’ll do it for your princess,” I tell him sincerely, it really is a huge milestone for these two.

“
Fab can we meet you at Baby Bits & More at say ten tomorrow morning?” Pete asks me.

“
Sure dude, I will see you guys there.” I automatically think to ask Roxy along, but then laugh and realise that looking at baby stuff with your very new girlfriend, is not really a wise move. I also haven’t spilled the beans to my two closest friends that me and Roxy are back together yet either.

“
There might be a hot single chick we can set you up with. Oh no scratch that, that’s just what you don’t need Kade, a chick pregnant to someone else. Let’s complicate your life a little less, not more Kado,” my best mate tells me honestly and I laugh at the thought.
Jesus. No thanks.

“
Yep aint that the fucking truth Pete,” I reply to him and his smart arse remark.

“
See you two tomorrow,” I tell him and hang up, suddenly feeling a mixed bag of emotions. Happy, confused, sad and a little more perplexed than I thought possible.

I casually drive my car to meet Pete and Emma at Baby Bits & More. Surprising there are around ten cars already in the lot. There must be a baby boom or a special on at the moment.

“Hey Em, you look ready to pop,” I say joking around with her as I rub her rounded baby bump.

“
I can still throw a decent punch, even being eight months pregnant, so shut it Kado,” she retorts back to me playfully.

“
You know I’m kidding. You are a glowing, glamorous, pregnant woman,” I remark to ensure she knows I am just playing,
I have heard the pregnancy hormones can be a nightmare. Avoiding that.

“
Morning bro,” Pete says to me yawning and we shake hands as per usual.

“
Are we keeping you awake?” I stir him wondering what he has to be tired about; the baby isn’t even out yet. Now if he was having the kind of sex I have been then I would understand him being exhausted.

“
Emma tosses and turns all night. Up and down with heartburn, cramps, you name it. I just can’t seem to sleep through it,” Pete answers.

“
It’s nature’s way of getting us ready for our little angel Pete. You think you are tired now wait for the screaming baby, dirty nappies, baby spew and anything else she might throw at us,” Emma says to Pete and pulls him in for an embrace.

“
You are really not selling the whole parenting thing guys,” I say to them tongue in cheek.

“
You need a woman first Kado,” Pete reports to me and punches me on my arm.

To tell them or not to tell them that is the question…

I decide to change the subject for now. I’m not ready for the twenty fucking questions, all is good with Roxy and me and that’s all that matters right now.

“
So let’s get this over and done with guys,” I bring to light as I really don’t want to waste more than an hour or two on this stuff, when I could be doing much more interesting things with Roxy.

Emma nods and holds Pete
’s hand as we enter the shop. Every possible baby item you could think of is on display - prams, cots, baths, car seats, bags.
Wow it is insane.

“
Okay first off we need a cot,” Emma says as she pulls the stores booklet out of her handbag obviously already done the research which saves us time as it’s the third one on display and both her and Pete are happy with the colour, finish and size.

“
Oh look an added bonus there is a matching change table and it’s perfect,” Emma tells us both squealing a little.
Bingo, two items down.

“
Now I’ve narrowed it down to three prams, but I need to see how they fold down and how easy they are to set up,” Emma tells us both and ushers us over to the pram section where there are around thirty to choose from.

Fuck me, don
’t you just need one for the baby to sleep in, then eventually sit up and with good straps, that’s about all I know.

And right on cue walks over a shop assistant.
“Good morning, can I help you with anything?” she asks with a bubbly smile.

All this baby talk, babies in the shop, baby clothes…

My mind wanders to Roxy, and I wonder how different things might have been the night of the wedding, if I just kept my fucking mouth shut. Too late now that’s for sure, we might have been planning at least an engagement by now.

But I vow that I will spend every day trying to make it up for the way I broke her heart.

I even feel that I have matured these past few months, because seriously a baby with the most amazing woman on the planet is far from being a bad thing when I look at my life right now.

Nothing would make me happier than Roxy pregnant with a baby, a piece of her and
I, a family unit.

Seeing as though, my family has been torn apart.

Not right now, but in the foreseeable future. One hundred percent.

Chapter 26

Dylan

I smashed his fucking window, and next time it will be his face. He is with MY girl. Roxy is mine and always will be. Does he really think I’m going to let him have her?

He is sleeping in her bed, the one she shared with me. The fucker gets to be the one to hold her in his arms, there is no way in hell…

I won’t be dejected, downcast like I’m nothing. I looked after her when he wasn’t around.

I am feeling
melancholy; I need her to bring me back from the sorrowful hole that keeps pulling at me. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and the voices in my head are telling me to get revenge.

If I can
’t have the euphoric feeling of being in love, being loved and wanted then why the fuck should any other living person, let alone those two…

Happily Never After is the way the fairy tale ends in my book.

Chapter 27

Burning Ring of Fire…

Devouring the most delicious homemade pizza and a bottle of sparkling wine, Jemma, Dan and I have a dinner party, just the three of us on a Friday night.
Thank fuck its Friday.

I crawl feeling lonely into bed just after midnight, missing my muscly surfer.

Kade spent the night having a few drinks with Pete and Emma, kind of a last hurrah before the baby comes. It’s always a guessing game as to when a baby will make it to its due date.

I wake up flying solo. It was something that I used to love - having the bed to myself spreading out. Now I now totally dislike it, it has all gone out the window.

It’s surreal that in a short amount of time back with Kade, how I miss his warm body lying beside me with his strong arms wrapped around me.

Gone is the promiscuous, drug taking, independent girl and replacing her is a maturing woman that needs the security of her man, not because of her self-consciousness but because he is her missing piece, her soul mate, her one and only.

I saunter out to the lounge, planning on a trip to the shops later for some food. Maybe pick up a couple new tops for the warm weather, and well beach days that will be more frequent.

Jemma and Dan have gone to the fish markets, up bright and early.
No thanks
.

My phone beeps and like a school
-girl with a crush I smile assuming its Kade and one of his cute messages.

But I am unfortunately very wrong - it is a text from Dylan.

Roxy help me I need you.

That is all that it says. What do I do with that
…?

What
’s happened Dylan, where are you?

I text back, as I am still concerned for his
well-being after my conversation with Cassie.

I
’m at the park near your work. Do you remember the beautiful picnic we had Roxy? You cared for me back then, I know you did.

He confesses his thoughts to me, obviously feeling alone.

I just want to end it all Roxy, I have some pills maybe I’ll just take them and go to sleep.

No Dylan, don
’t. I will come, give me thirty minutes.

I message back desperate to save him from doing something silly like overdosing, like Cassie mentioned he had done before.

Promise me you won’t do anything silly.

Okay I promise. Thank you. I just need a friend right now.

I race to get dressed and jump in my shiny beast and zoom down the freeway. I’m not sure what I can do to help, but I won’t let him swallow pills and try to end it.

I pull up my car next to his, looking over to the tree where we had the picnic, but he
’s not there. I climb out and hear him behind me.

“
Hey I’m so glad you came Roxy. I really hoped you would.”

“
Oh Dylan, I still care about you as a friend. I want you to be happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t be that for you, but you have your family and friends too. I am not the only one who cares,” I state to him trying to make him see sense.

“
Is that what you think? My mother couldn’t give a shit about me. She has her other two golden children, and as for friends, do they ever call me Roxy? You are all I have in the world,” he tells me and my heart breaks a little for this poor man who now looks gaunt and desperate.

I can
’t help but take a step into Dylan and embrace him feeling sorry for him and knowing now what Cassie told me about her accident, the pills, and overdoes. Maybe he is just a guy needing love and at the moment he is feeling confused and alone.

“
I love you Roxy,” he says to me as he kisses me cheek and embraces me back.

I feel his grip tighten and now I feel like an idiot.
What is that?

I see a blue handkerchief appear in his hand.
What is that strong smell?

It all happens so fast. The handkerchief is now tightly pushed against my face. He
’s holding me so hard that I can’t get away. I wriggle and try to move my face away from his hand, trying to catch my breath.

“
Argh,” I moan but he’s blocking the sound with his hand.

Shaking my head, panic sits in.
What is he doing? Why is he doing this?

The smell and toxic fumes burn my nose and mouth.
Why do I suddenly feel sleepy? Oh Dylan what the fuck have you done?

The world goes black.

I feebly wake to my head throbbing, my eyes are heavy and I feel nauseas. I’m on a red coloured lounge in a darkened room, I have never seen before. W
hat is happening?

I try to move my arms, ouch.
Why the fuck are my hands tied together?
I wriggle feeling claustrophobic and stressed. W
here am I?

I adjust my eyes, there is an open fire roaring in front of me. I don
’t recognise the room I am in; it’s all timber, a cabin of some sort.

My eyes frantically search the room for clues of where I am, but it
’s all just furniture, the curtains are closed and I can’t move. My surroundings are giving nothing away.

Right on cue the timber door opens and Dylan enters carrying more wood. What the hell is he
thinking; it’s hot as a sauna in here already.

And to think I felt sorry for this fucking lunatic.

“Dylan what have you done? Drugging me, kidnapping me, why would you do this?” I plead with him but nothing he could say will set my mind at ease.

“
What have I done Roxy? I fucking did everything for you and you deserted me,” he confesses to me as he throws more wood on the fire, then he makes a trail of wood leading out of the safety of the fireplace.
What on earth.

He has a thin piece of kindling that he lights and places outside the fireplace, then to my amazement he puts newspaper on top, it goes into flames.

“No, Dylan don’t do it. We can work something out,” I plead desperately to the crazy stranger in front of me. Who would have known just how ruthless he could become?

He drags me roughly into the other room, but leaves the doors open.
He gets to work combining more timber and paper making another trail.
We are going to be burnt alive
!

The fire is
raging; the lounge is now in flames, burnt embers flying in the air, smoky haze surrounding us. I think we are in a cabin in the mountains judging by the bush I can now see outside.

“
Dylan this is crazy. We are both going to die in this fire!” I cry desperately to him.

“
If I can’t have you Roxy than no one can, especially not that fucking weasel of a surfer,” Dylan tells me seriously.

Who is he calling a weasel?

“We are destined to be together Roxy, if not in life then in death,” he growls and that is the cherry on top. I am now shaking, fearful for my life. This is the end, I am going to slowly burn and never see Kade’s face again.
This is a living hell.

I pull myself together and take many deep breaths.
I can’t give up, come on Roxy!

“
Are you crazy Dylan? You are going to let us burn? Do you know how painful burning to death would be? Let’s go quickly while we still can,” I plead and beg him trying to make him see sense.

Petrified for my life I try to figure out a game plan, I need to get out of this building and away from him. I can see the flames through the window now to the right in the tall gum trees. Shit, he must have started one outside too. It is starting to spread further. I will need to escape to the left, away from the raging flames and fire.
Think Roxy, think
.

“
Dylan I’m so scared. Oh please Dylan, I need you. Can you hold me? I need your arms around me,” I ask him trying to sound sincere and crying through my fake words.

“
Well I guess we should say our goodbyes Roxy, anything for you baby,” he admits while walking to me with his arms open. I feel his arms wrap around me tightly, he pulls me in hard and places his cheek against mine.

He is so repulsive to me now, so unstable and psychotic it makes my stomach turn. I nuzzle into his neck to distract him further.

“See Roxy it is so perfect between us. I love you, always,” Dylan tells me as he pulls me closer and I feel his arousal hard against me. Perfect.

I pull back to get eye contact with him and as planned he kisses my lips. I need to refrain the bile forming in my throat. I kiss him back then three, two, one.

My knee goes straight into his erection harder than I ever thought I could. He falls hard to the floor, gripping his groin.

“
You fucking bitch!” Dylan screams at me. I run while I can, straight to the door but it’s locked. Fuck.

I need to keep away from the flames. I try the first window, locked, as are the next two.

Screw it. I run to the dining table grab a wooden chair and I throw it hard through the window. Glass flies everywhere, I feel it cut my skin but I don’t care, I need to get out and fast.

Kade

I pick up my mobile phone, not recognising the number.

“
Kade its Jemma. I haven’t heard from Roxy today, we were meeting up at the shops and it’s not like her not to answer her phone. Have you spoken to her?” she asks me concerned.

“
No I was planning on calling her soon. Let me try her number and I’ll call you back,” I state to her hanging up I dial Roxy’s number. It ring but she doesn’t pick up. I try it over and over a total of five times but still no answer. I leave her two voice messages to call me or Jemma.

I redial Jemma
’s number. “She is not answering my calls either Jemma, what do you think has happened? Maybe we shouldn’t overreact, she might be with Jeremy or her parents somewhere,” I point out to her trying to stay calm but inside my stomach is in knots.

“
Jeremy is in New York with Seline and I didn’t want to try her mum and start a panic,” Jemma confesses to me and I totally agree.

“
I’ll jump in my car and drive past Denise’s house and see if Roxy’s car is there. Then let you know,” I remark to her trying keep her calm, and doing my best not to panic.

“
Good idea, I’m going to jump on the computer. I’m sure Roxy has the Find my iPhone app so if she recently synced with iTunes we may just be able to find her, if she is missing that is,” Jemma informs me as I run to my car and speed off.

Fucking technology, I will be a believer if it finds her for us

I insanely drive past her mums. There are no cars there at all, so that’s dead end. “She’s not with her mum, any luck on your end Jemma?” I ask her with hope that she has something we can use.

“
Drive past here and pick me up Kade, we are going up to the fucking mountains, that’s where her iPhone is tracked too. I bet that nut job Dylan has something to do with this,” she reports to me and I feel my heartbeat increase, my palms sweat and I may pass out.
Not my Roxy!