healing-hearts (20 page)

Stop it
, she chided herself. She attempted to clear her mind and cleanse her body of the evidence of what she had done.

Feeling refreshed and confident that she had everything back in perspective, Yasmine turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.

“Good morning, Yasmine.” Jason leaned against the doorjamb in his underwear, socks, and a T-shirt.

Yasmine jumped and made an endeavor to cover her body with her hands. “I thought you were still asleep?”
Dumb question if he’s standing right in front of you
.

He grabbed a towel off the rack and walked toward her, wrapping it around her body. “I was until I rolled over to find myself sleeping alone.”

Jason, near and wide-awake, was even more disturbing to her senses. Taking the towel with her, she stepped out of his embrace and composed herself as much as possible. “Jason, we need to talk.”

“I’m listening.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

As if it was a security blanket, she clutched the towel around her body. “I’d like to get dressed first. I feel a little uncomfortable being practically naked in front of you.”

“After last night, I don’t know why you would.”

Yasmine watched him taking a stance like he wasn’t planning to leave.

“That’s exactly why.”

Yasmine watched his eyebrow arch, then he exited the bathroom without a word.

Yasmine quickly dressed, packed up her items, and left the bathroom to confront the issues lying between her and Jason.

~ML~

Jason went into the room and got his things out of his suitcase to prepare for his shower. He wasn’t going to attempt to figure out what was going on in Yasmine’s head. He had put himself on the line, allowing himself to be there for her when she needed him, but now the reality had set in like the morning sun and she was acting guilty as hell.

He refused to allow himself to feel contrite about what could only be described as one of the most intense nights of his life. He was a grown man and he understood what the rules of the marriage were. But, he wasn’t the one who’d changed them mid-stride.

Jason had to be honest with himself, he had wanted to make love to her badly and he would’ve initiated it himself if he thought that she would agree to it. But, her defenses had been so high he hadn’t even bothered. Even if they had not made love, he had enjoyed the evening with her. At times during the night he had laughed and felt relaxed like he’d never allowed himself to do with anyone else. He didn’t know why it had occurred with Yasmine, but he was glad they would at least have a civil relationship—if not intimate.

Yasmine walked back into the room fully dressed in jeans and a button down, crisp white top. Immediately, his first instinct was to walk over to her and unbutton it, giving himself the opportunity to view her breasts in the sunlight.

After what had happened in the bathroom and the set look she had on her face now, told him that was not going to happen.

“So, talk.” He watched her set her bag by the open doors to the living room.

She looked him directly in the eye. “Jason, what happened last night can never happen again.”

“Why?” Jason asked. He wasn’t going to make this easy for her. She was the one who stepped over the line and she would put it back in place—if that was possible.

“Why? Because it never should have happened in the first place.” She was emphatic.

“So, we made love, Yasmine. We’re big kids, we can handle it.”

“Let’s not get things confused,
Jason
, we had sex last night. There was no love involved.”

Jason didn’t know why he felt offended by her words, but he did. “Whatever way you want to classify it, I’m fine with it.”

“But you don’t think that it should end here.”

“I don’t see how it would change things one way or the other.”

“How could you not? If we keep sleeping together, then when this
thing
is over … I don’t want to get hurt.”

Jason could feel his feathers getting ruffled and he couldn’t put his finger on why. “What makes you so sure you’re the one who’ll be hurt?”

She paced as if a cat in a cage. “Look, Jason, I’m not going to debate this with you. Last night was a big mistake; can we just agree with that?”

Hell, no
, Jason thought. He wanted to ask her what made it such a big mistake. He felt affronted; like he had done something wrong last night. He knew he had been out of the saddle for a while, but he had never had complaints about his ability previously. Besides, he himself had witnessed her having an orgasm, three if he was to be exact.

He didn’t want to be catty, so tried to be tactful. “I’ll agree that you needed me and I don’t regret being there for you.”

She stopped pacing and looked down toward the floor. He caught a quick glimpse of an expression that crossed her face.
Is it shame?

As her stance and silence stretched on, he became angrier. He fought hard to keep a reign on his temper. “Fine, you don’t have to worry about me
bothering
you, Yasmine. I’m a big boy, if I’ve got nothing else, self control is one thing I do have.” Grabbing up his clothes and heading toward the shower, he couldn’t stop himself from his parting comment. “Besides, it’s in the rules that we can adventure out if need be. So, I don’t see a reason for
this
to happen ever again.”

He didn’t wait for her expression to change, didn’t wait to hear what she had to say, he just entered the bathroom, closed the door, then pressed his head against the hard wood. He knew that after last night’s experience, being with another woman was the furthest thing from his mind.

~ML~

“So, is Romeo here?” Leigh asked when Yasmine answered the door later that afternoon.

“No.” She turned and led the way back to the kitchen where she had been making a list of things she would need to get for the kids. “After breakfast with his siblings he dropped me off then he went home, I guess.”

“You guess?” Leigh’s face held a frown as she sat down across from Yasmine at the table.

Picking up the pencil, she added more notes to a pad she was writing on. “Leigh, keeping tabs on Jason is not part of our agreement. As long as he shows up when I need him to, I couldn’t care less what he does.”

“Ah haa...” Leigh picked up one of the children’s clothing magazines and flipped through it.

Her continued silence made Yasmine look up. She set her pencil down and folded her hands in front of her on the table. “Go ahead, spill it. I know I won’t have a moment’s peace until you get it out.”

“Nothing...” Leigh continued her pretense of being interested in the magazine. “Look, they have boys’ Batman undershirts on sale.”

“I know you can’t give two figs about boys’ undershirts—so just say what you have to say. Come on, Leigh, get it off your chest.” Yasmine leaned back in her chair.

“Fine, if you want to hear it, here goes.” Her friend leaned across the table. “Look, Yasmine, you can’t tell me that you spent the night with Jason, the tall sexy god, and not care where or who he’s with. Remember who you’re talking to here.”

Brushing it off, Yasmine began jotting notes again, saying, “So, we slept in the same room, big deal.”

“I’m sure you all weren’t in twin beds.”

“Which means?” Yasmine didn’t look up from her writing.

“Yasmine...”Leigh paused, until Yasmine glanced up. “You know you want to tell me about it, so stop all the dry voice tone.”

“Which dry tone?” Yasmine spoke in an even drier one.

“That one.” Her friend pointed at her.

“Fine, what do you want to know?” Slumping back in her seat, she exhaled a sigh of frustration, not that it did any good, Leigh ignored her.

“Everything. Starting with, if you slept with him.”

“I already answered that one.”

“I don’t mean if you, quote-unquote, shared the same room or bed...” Leigh allowed the statement to hang in the air.

Yasmine picked up a furniture magazine and opened it to a page she had marked and began putting more figures on the paper. “Leigh, you’re pathetic. As much entertainment as you get in your own life, I can’t see why mine should be so interesting for you.”

“You did it. You broke down and had sex with him.” Leigh hooted with laughter.

“I didn’t say that.” She attempted to deny it over her friend’s delight.

“You didn’t have to. The look in your eyes is as good as an admission of guilt.” Leigh fluffed the crimson colored mass on her head. “But don’t feel guilty, I wouldn’t. Shoot, I would have never had a reception after the vows were said; I would’ve dragged him to the closest Holiday Inn and would’ve been on him like a bee to a honeycomb. Remember
this
is from a woman that doesn’t even date white men.”

Yasmine knew she wouldn’t be able to hide what had happened from her friend, but she was willing to try. Being with Jason and his family all morning and afternoon had not allowed her the time to process her feelings and she was still a bit raw from Jason’s comment in the hotel.

Leigh leaned forward speaking in a sweet Southern Virginia accent sounding like Blanche Devereaux from the
Golden
Girls
. “So give me the juicy details and leave
nothing
out.”

Yasmine no longer attempted to withhold the information, but she presented it to her friend as if she were giving a dissertation on the benefits of keep your colon cleansed.

Leigh had enough excitement for both of them, which was shown by her occasional, ‘I bet the room looked fabulous, he would have had me then.’ Or ‘I would have gotten in wearing my birthday suit.’ Then to, ‘He sucked your toes?’

“No…he licked my arch.” Yasmine crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you going to keep interrupting?”

Leigh made a sign as if she were zipping her lips. She continued to keep silent, even as Yasmine told her about the dream and the fact they had sex. Then Leigh asked in a quiet hushed tone as if not to let the secret out, “Was he good?”

Yes
, her mind shouted. “It’s irrelevant,” she declared.

“How so...?”

“Because it won’t happen again.” She was adamant.

“What did Jason say?”

“He basically agreed that we should keep our lives separate.”

“He said that?” Leigh didn’t sound the least bit convinced.

“Not in so many words and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“Hmm...” That one word sat in the room between them, taking up space like a giant pink elephant, cursing everything else around it.

Yasmine struggled but managed to ignore her friends comment. “Well, if you’re going to stay here, you’re going to at least help me fix dinner.”

“Okay, but only if you’re making that dish of broiled pig and clams, with the potatoes.”

Laughing at Leigh’s description of a Portuguese meal, Yasmine got up from the table. “Yes, I will be making
carne a
lentejana
.”

The two friends began pulling out the food items from the refrigerator and cookware as they began cooking and talking about what Yasmine’s plans were for the children.

~ML~

“I
wike
kickball and football and
da
swings,” Joshua was saying to Jason as they sat outside on the grass by the playground.

“I
wike
kickball too, but I
wike
baby dolls more,” Jessica chimed in.

“I’m pretty good with kickball, but I don’t think I do to well with dolls,” Jason told them.

“
Dats
okay, I can teach you.” Jessica’s face lit up with a big smile as she quickly jumped up and ran into the house, with lightning speed came back out with a doll in tow.

When she came out, Yasmine knew she had gotten the doll from the playroom, where the entire orphanage community toys were kept.

“
Dis
is Mandy.” Jessica held out the ebony colored curly haired baby doll to Jason for introductions. “She my favorite. I can’t play
wif
her all
da
time, because we
half
to
sh
-
air
.” she pronounced, practicing her words.

“Well, hello, Mandy.” Jason spoke right on cue.

“She
wikes
to have her hair brushed,” Jessica informed him.

Yasmine just sat back and admired the play between Jason and the kids. She hadn’t been sure how the first meeting would turn out, but a week ago when they had come to visit so she could introduce them, everything went fine. They had decided not to attempt adopting them until she was sure how they would take to Jason. Even though Jason wouldn’t be in their lives much, it would be important for the overall outcome for her to finally attain permanent custody.

When they had left last time, Jason hadn’t comment much, only stating that he thought they were sweet and he liked them. He did ask about what she knew of how they arrived at the orphanage and how long she had been visiting them.