healing-hearts (16 page)

“Why? What would have made you go back to someone who was tearing you down emotionally?” Jason was concerned, wanting to understand the woman who would soon be his wife.

“It was what I’d always done. Over the years, I had learned how to convince myself to stay, but this time I was pregnant and I lost something that was more valuable to me than my own life.”

Full understanding dawned on Jason. “I see.”

“If I would have allowed myself to stay with him, I was agreeing to let any child that happened to survive the stress to live in the environment and possibly have all the abuse happen to them. I couldn’t do that.” She turned and faced him head on.

With Yasmine telling him this, he comprehend why he had felt so drawn to her when she had been talking about her want for the twins. He would never consider himself anyone’s knight in shining armor, but since he had met Yasmine, everything he knew about himself seemed to be changing.

“I’ve seen enough shows about women feeling empty inside after they lose a child. Is that why you want to adopt?”

“That’s a big chunk of it. I’ve always wanted children and when I was pregnant and lost the baby it totally consumed me. I haven’t felt complete since then.”

Jason yearned to embrace her. The desire to erase the sadness that seemed to surround her was strong. Rising, he walked around his desk and sat down behind it. If this was going to be a “formal” arrangement, he would do better not to allow himself any type of emotional attachment.

~ML~

Yasmine was impressed. She had told the story of what had happened between her and Blake and hadn’t broken down in tears, even though she had felt her heart constrict when she talked about the baby. That was something she didn’t think would ever go away.

“So, what are the ROE’s?” His voice broke into her thoughts.

Yasmine watched as Jason leaned back in his chair with one of his nonchalant postures. The one with his elbow on the arm of his chair and his hand on the side of his face, she remembered it from one of the ones he had given her at his hotel.

“Rules of engagement, that’s cute.” Yasmine returned to the seat she had vacated.

“Sorry, with my father being military, sometimes I find myself using their terms. But you have to admit—it fits.”

“I guess it does.”

“So when do you want this to happen?”

“In two weeks.” She didn’t bat an eyelash.

“Wow, you’re not playing around are you?”

“I don’t see any reason a long engagement would suit either of us.”

“You’re right, it won’t. I’m taking it that since it’s
name
only
, it’s not going to be a permanent ‘til death us do part’ kind of thing.”

“No. I only need it to last up until the adoption goes through—after that I can handle the rest on my own. How about you?” she questioned.

“Just until this fall. Mr. Coleman will make his decision then.”

“So after both issues have been resolved then we end it.”

“It’s over.”

He kept a poker face, and it was hard for Yasmine to read his expression, but she had no reason to suspect he wouldn’t be okay with it.

“We still can live separately. I don’t see any need for either of us to move.”

“You don’t think that will be kind of odd for the children? What if they ask where I am?”

“I’ll just tell them you’re at the office. You’re a workaholic, remember, so it won’t be far from the truth.”

“If we want this to look good, then I at least need to spend some time with the children. So it appears we’re developing a balanced life for them.”

She pondered that for a moment. “How about we make Wednesday nights
family night
and Sundays after church.”

Jason chuckled. “I can’t tell you the last time I went to church.”

“Don’t worry, that’s not part of the stipulation.” Yasmine wouldn’t put that kind of pressure on anyone. She believed church was something people had to decide to do on their own.

“Well, it probably wouldn’t hurt me to attend every once in a while. It would make my mother happy.”

“Do you plan to tell your family?”

“Yes, don’t you?”

Yasmine hadn’t thought about it. She had assumed that it would be done and over with so fast there wouldn’t be a need for anyone to know.

“I didn’t think about it. I don’t see a need to tell anyone.”

“Well who’s going to be sitting on your side of the church?”

Yasmine could see the curiosity written on his face.

“Church? I don’t want a church wedding.” This wasn’t real. She would remind herself of that every day.

“You want to go to the justice of peace.” His face held a look of disgust.

The looked shocked her; she hadn’t expected him to react in this fashion. “I mean, I would like for my pastor to marry us, but I figured it could be taken care of in his office, with two witnesses.”

“Okay, that’s fine with me. But, we have to have a reception.” He was determined.

“Why?”

“Because, remember my boss and the people I work with need to see this wedding as the real thing. I can explain that we wanted a private ceremony, but I need them to see us as a happy couple.”

“Okay, happy couple. You got it, but we’ll keep it small. Anything else?”

“I agree to be there for any meetings involving the children and I’d like you to come to the occasional dinner party.”

“Agreed.” Yasmine rose. She was pretty satisfied—this meeting had gone a lot better than she had expected.

“Before you go, Yasmine. I have a question about the
name only
rules.” His hands were bridged over his midsection.

“What’s that?” She hesitated, balancing her body on the edge of her seat.

“Does that mean that we’re both free to seek comfort with other people or are we both taking a vow of celibacy?”

Yasmine had known he would ask that question, she had assumed it would have come earlier in the discussion. Since it hadn’t, she had felt safe there wasn’t a need to bring it up.

“I don’t plan on needing to
seek comfort
as you put it, and I can’t make that decision for you.” Yasmine’s heart began to pick up beats.

Jason once again got up from his seat and perched on the corner of his desk, then leaned in toward her. “So you wouldn’t have any problem with me being with someone else in that way?”

Yasmine could smell his cologne; it was spicy and male, almost intoxicating, and with a subtle hint of honey. “Who am I to tell you no?” Yasmine hoped she sounded
blasé
about it.

“You’d be my wife.”

His voice was smooth and thick, like hot fudge it warmed her. Her palms started to sweat, but she refused to analyze why her body was responding the way it did to him. “Only in name.”

Yasmine could have sworn his voice lowered an octave. “I just wanted to make sure what my restrictions were if I had needs that couldn’t get fulfilled in my marriage bed.”

“So are you clear?” Yasmine asked.

“Pretty much.”

“Okay, I’ll be going. I’ll call you with any further information.” Yasmine felt like running out the door, but she made herself take each step calmly.

She was almost at the closed door when she heard, “About the honeymoon...”

Yasmine turned around quickly.

“I thought we already discussed that.”

“I understand there won’t be a true wedding night, but we’ll have to leave our reception guests and go somewhere. We want everything to look like it’s on the up and up, don’t we?”

Yasmine thought she felt her knees began to tremble as she watched him rise off the desk and make a slow swagger in her direction. “Where do you suggest we go?”

“Leave that to me. I’ll take care of it.” He stopped less than a foot away from her.

“Are you sure?” Yasmine backed up until she felt the doorknob press against her hand.

“It’ll be no problem.”

He gave her one of his sexy smiles; it caused a wave of heat to slide down her spine.

“Okay,” the only response Yasmine could think of before she made her escape.

~ML~

“Guess you’re not as indifferent as you’d like me to believe, Yasmine.” Jason spoke out loud to himself. He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his features as he returned to his desk.

At least I won’t be the only one suffering,
Jason thought to himself.

He didn’t know why he had suggested they go on a honeymoon; he was just making things harder on himself—literally. They could have easily stayed at either of their places; no one would have made a production about it. He was just causing himself more pressure.

After what she had told him about her first marriage, he was feeling the need to let Yasmine know she could trust him. Besides, it would be his first marriage, and he wanted it with as much of the trimmings as possible. Even if the main one wasn’t there.

Shaking his head he couldn’t believe that Yasmine had practically given him permission to sleep around. He knew he wouldn’t do it; marriage vows were something he took seriously.

“Well, if I’m planning on keeping the makers of coconut butter lotion in business, I better find out if I can.” He picked up the phone he dialed a number of the only person who would be able to give him the answer he sought.

“Dr. Hudson’s office, Linda speaking.” An articulate voice greeted him through the phone.

“Hi, this is Jason Richardson, I’d like to make a follow-up appointment with Dr. Hudson.”

“I can handle that for you, Mr. Richardson. Is this an urgent appointment?”

Jason could hear her flipping pages in what he assumed were the Dr.’s appointment book.

“No it’s not urgent, but I need it within two weeks.”

“Good morning, Pastor Hiles’ office. How may I help you?” a serene voice answered the phone.

“Hello, Mrs. Hiles. It’s Yasmine.” Yasmine recognized the voice on the other end. Her pastor’s wife had taken over the job of being his secretary after the youngest of their five children had turned eighteen and had gone away to college. Donna Hiles had told her she needed something to fill her days now that the nest was empty.

“Hello, dear, how are you?”

“I’m doing good.” They chatted briefly, before Yasmine continued, “If the pastor’s available, I’d really like to speak with him.”

“You sure can. He just finished up with a meeting with the youth pastor and he’s free. One moment and I will connect you.”

“Thank you.”

Yasmine barely heard a complete line of the Christian jazz artist before her pastor’s voice came on the line, deep and melodic.

“Yasmine, it’s good to hear from you. How is everything with your business?”

“Very well, thank you for asking.” For the second time that day, Yasmine found herself feeling nervous, but this time she could understand why. This man had been her pastor since she had been in college and there wasn’t much about her life that he didn’t know.

“So, how can I help you?”

“Pastor Hiles, I’m getting married.” Yasmine found no need to beat around the bush.

“Congratulations. Is it to one of our members?”

“No, sir.”

“That’s okay. So, when do I get to meet this young man?”

Yasmine should have guessed he’d want to see them before performing the wedding.

“Umm, how about this week?” Yasmine figured since he was going to meet with them anyway, there was no need to drop the rest of the bombshell over the phone.

“This week. Wow, that soon. Let me look at my schedule.

Yasmine got the jazz artist once again as she waited for him to check with his wife for available times.

He returned to the phone and gave her a date and time.

“I’ll talk with Jason and call back and confirm the time with your wife.”

“No problem. I’m looking forward to meeting this young man. God bless.”

“You too, sir.” She hung up the line.

~ML~

“Pastor Sean Solomon Hiles.” Her pastor offered his hand to Jason.

Pastor Hiles gaze was directed toward Jason, as if he were sizing him up, as a father would do a suitor of one of his daughters.

That made Yasmine feel warm inside, considering this man was closer to her than her actual father.

“Jason Richardson.”

Yasmine watched Jason shake hands with her pastor before he escorted them into his office.

Two nights ago, Yasmine had used Jason’s home number off the information form he had filled out at her office, to tell him about the premarital counseling time. He had agreed to come without a pause.

After they were seated, Pastor Hiles asked Jason some questions about his background and faith. Yasmine hadn’t known how he would take to the questions, considering he said it had been awhile since he had practiced his faith, but he showed no irritation and didn’t hesitate in any of his responses.