Healed (28 page)

Emily whipped around, her mouth ajar, eyes open wide, at the same time the stupid asshole said, “What the hell, man?”

Her eyes traveled down my body like she’d never seen me before. The warning bells went off in my head. Her jaw clenched and I braced myself for the tirade I knew was coming. The look I’d seen so many times before.

Except this time when Emily opened her mouth to yell, all that came out was a broken sob. Her eyes filled with tears and it was like a punch to the gut. All of my instincts told me to reach out and pull her into my arms. Instead, I simply stood there while she turned and ran out the door.

What the hell was that? My mouth hung open as I stared at the space where Emily stood. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Josh and Lauren dart past, following Emily. Giving myself a quick mental shake, I gave into my instincts and ran out the door after her. I was far enough behind that I wasn’t immediately sure where they went. Then I heard Josh’s voice.

“Breathe, Em.”

Following the sound of his voice, I walked through the left side of the parking lot. There, standing next to Emily’s car, was Emily, broken and crying in Josh’s arms. Lauren was rubbing her hand up and down Emily’s back, trying to offer any comfort she could.

Right then, I knew I’d been wrong. Everything I’d done from the moment my mom died was a mistake. Instead of letting Emily in to help me deal with the pain, I’d shut her out. The beautiful girl with tears in her eyes was
my
responsibility. I’d done that to her. No matter what my dad thought, not only could I not stay away from her anymore, I didn’t want to.

I took a few steps forward, throwing my shadow across where they were standing.

“Em?”

All three of their heads to turned to me. Josh turned, pushing Emily behind him.

“What do you want, Andrew?” Lauren snapped.

“I want to talk to Em.”

Emily’s shoulders hunched, the sound of her cries stabbing at me.

Josh glanced back at Emily and shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Josh . . . please take me home?” she whispered brokenly.

“Em . . . please.” I begged.

Without a word, she handed Josh her keys and turned to the passenger door.

Lauren stepped over with her hand out, peeking over at me before turning back to Josh. “You take my car, I’ll drive Em.”

He nodded and traded keys with her. Emily was sitting in the car, staring out the front window. Once Lauren started the car and backed out of the space, Emily briefly glanced at me, tears tracking down her face.

And just like that, she was gone.

Josh turned back to me. “I’m not sure what you want from her. But a piece of advice . . . leave it alone. The Em you knew is gone. Just let her be. She’s trying to put her life back together again, and this”—he gestured around—“did not help that. I’m sorry, man.”

With that he walked away to get into Lauren’s car, leaving me feeling like I couldn’t breathe.

What have I done?

A shove, hard enough to make me stumble, came from behind me.

“You are an asshole!” Angie shouted.

When did they arrive? Slowly, I turned around, trying my best to control my racing heartbeat. Angie swung at me again, but Caleb grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back to him.

“Fucker,” she spat at me. She turned her head to the side. “Let me go.”

Nick stepped in front of her and shared some silent communication with Caleb. With a nod, Caleb let her go at the same time as Nick wrapped his hands around the top of Angie’s arms.

“Angie, look at me. I’ll take care of this, but you have to go and take care of Em. She needs you now.”

Angie narrowed her eyes but nodded her head. “Okay.”

Nick looked up at Caleb, who also nodded. “We’ve got this.”

When Nick let go of Angie, Caleb entwined his fingers with hers and led her toward his car. The whole time I stood there staring, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. It was like I’d entered the twilight zone. Emily wasn’t yelling, but Angie was? Caleb let Nick calm Angie down?

What had been going on for the last seven months?

Nick rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger then pulled them away with a sigh. “Well this is all kinds of fucked up.”

“What the hell was all that?”

He gestured toward the door of the bar. “Should we get a drink?”

I went to pull my keys from my pocket when I realized I’d taken a cab. I slipped my phone from my pocket and began dialing. “No.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m calling a cab. I don’t care what Josh said, I’m going after her.”

He grabbed the phone from my hands. “That’s probably not a good idea right now. Come inside with me. We’ll have a drink and talk, give everyone a chance to calm down. Then if you still want to see her, I’ll take you back to the apartment.”

I noticed he didn’t say it was
his
apartment or
their
apartment. He said
the
, as if it was still where I belonged. And maybe it was.

I didn’t want to get a drink, but Nick had my phone and I had no car. The need to get to Emily and try and ease some of the hurt I’d caused her was overwhelming. Ignoring Nick, I turned toward the road, determined to walk there if I had to, but a hand wrapped around my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

“Trust me, you don’t want to do that. There’s a lot you need to know if you’re going to have any chance of getting her back.”

My chest tightened and I was having trouble pulling air into my lungs. I placed my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. A life without Emily was unthinkable, yet, because of my mistakes, I may have lost her forever.

Nick helped me to stand up. “Take a deep breath. It’s not over yet. Come on, let’s get a drink.”

I nodded and followed him back to the bar we’d vacated just minutes before. Nick took the seat next to me and waved over the bartender.

“I’ll have a shot of Crown, please,” he said.

So many thoughts about what had happened with Em were swirling through my head. To avoid them, at least for a few minutes, I focused on the moment between Angie and Nick.

“What the hell was all that with you and Angie?”

Nick held his finger up, so I waited. The bartender brought over his drink and without second thought Nick threw it back. “That”—he pointed over his shoulder—“is the mess
you
made when you walked away from Em. Can we get a Sam Adams and a Heineken?”

The image of her tear-streaked face came back to me. The fear, the hurt—all of the things I never wanted to see on Emily’s face—were there on full display. How could I have been so stupid? I knew my dad was wrong and drinking, but I let fear rule my decisions and probably made the worst mistake of my life. “I really fucked up,” I said, hanging my head.

“Yeah, you did. There’s still a chance you can fix it.”

“Why didn’t she yell at me for interrupting? Is she seeing that guy?”

“You broke her,” he said simply. “The night you sent the letter with the tickets changed her. She doesn’t yell at anyone anymore. She doesn’t get in other people’s business. And, no, she’s not seeing him. To be honest, this is the first night she’s left the house since then. She goes to work and comes home. You took a strong-willed spitfire and broke her.”

“No, not Emily,” I said, shaking my head in denial.

“Oh yes, Emily. She’s gotten her life somewhat back on track, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t hear her through the wall, crying herself to sleep every night.”

The bartender returned with our beers. The bottle in front of me was cool to the touch. Staring at it, I watched the bead of condensation as it dripped down the bottle, my mind on overload. “How do I fix it?”

Nick picked up his bottle and took a long sip. “You start by drinking that.” He pointed at the Sam Adams in front of me.

The thought of drinking any kind of liquor turned my stomach. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He pushed the bottle toward me. “Trust me, with what you’re going to face tonight, a little liquid courage won’t hurt.”

We sat in silence, drinking our beers. When Nick finished his, he pulled money out of his wallet and set it on the bar.

He turned to me, his face serious. “Now it’s my turn to ask you a question.”

I finished my drink and looked up at him. “What?”

“Are you willing to fight for Emily, no matter what happens?”

How was that even a question? But reflecting on my behavior over the last few months, I could see why he was asking. “I’ll do anything, and I mean
anything
to get her back.”

“Good, because you have one serious fight ahead of you.”

“She’s worth that, and more.”

He clasped me on the shoulder. “I’m glad you finally came to your senses.”

“I’ve got to see her,” I said, getting up from the bar and starting toward the door.

“Well, all right then.” Nick caught up to me, keys already in his hand. Within minutes we were in Nick’s car and pulling out of the lot, heading in the direction of my old apartment.

“Do you want to tell me what all that shit with Caleb and Angie was about?”

He let out a deep breath. “So much has changed over the past few months. Caleb and I were able to fix our friendship. We had to. It took every one of us to keep Emily afloat. A lot of it fell to Angie and me. Caleb understood that our relationship had nothing to do with feelings, only friendship. And Em needed that friendship more than anything.”

My stomach felt like a lead brick.

“Pull over.”

“Why?” He glared at me out of the corner of his eye.

“’Cause I’m gonna puke.”

“You are not going to puke. Take a deep breath. This can be fixed.”

“What if it’s too late?”

“It’s not, but if I were you, I’d use the drive to think about what you want to say.”

What could I say to her? Sorry? It just didn’t seem enough for all that I’d done. The thought of Emily walking out earlier in tears was excruciating. Emily was a fighter, and to think all of that fight had gone . . . because of me . . .

There had to be a way to fix it.

So many thoughts ran through my head, but none seemed good enough. Nick pulled into the apartment complex and, just like that, I was out of time. Whatever I was going to say to Emily was going to have to come from the heart.

Nick was the first to get out of the car. I didn’t make a move. That’s when he came over to my door and opened it.

“Don’t give up yet. Give her a chance.”

Sucking in a deep breath, I stepped from the car. It was an effort to walk to the door. This was the place I used to call home. Now it felt like my biggest regret and my biggest fear all wrapped up into one. Raising my hand, I went to knock on the door.

Nick pushed past me. “Don’t be stupid,” he muttered, and threw open the door.

The room was full of people—except for the one face I was looking for. Angie jumped to her feet. “What is
he
doing here?”

“He’s here—”

“I’m here to fix this. To make it right.”

She took a few steps until she was blocking the hallway. “I won’t do it. I won’t let you hurt her again.”

“I’m not going to hurt her. I love her.”

Lauren got up from her seat to join Angie. “Yeah, well, you have a really screwed up way of showing it.”

I could feel Josh and Caleb’s eyes on me. “Please, let me see her,” I begged, my voice cracking at the end.

Josh came over and reached out for Lauren. “Give him a chance,” he whispered to her. “He’s not going to hurt her.”

It felt good that my friends trusted me after all that time. Lauren looked up into his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Trust me,” he said. “Remember, I’ve been in his shoes.”

“But that wasn’t seven full months,” she argued.

“Trust me,” he said again.

Something must have gotten through to her because she took Angie’s hand and pulled her to the side. “Give him a chance.”

Before Angie could offer up another protest, I darted down the hall, opening the bedroom door to find Emily sleeping in the middle of our bed. She seemed so peaceful, but I could see the red around her eyes from where she’d been crying. It was hard to tell earlier in the dress she was wearing but now, in just her pajama shorts and T-shirt, she looked so much thinner. Once again—all my fault.

I took two steps into the room and quietly shut the door behind me. Making my way over to the bed, I sat down next to her and pushed a stray lock of hair off her forehead.

“Em, please wake up.”

Emily

THE FEEL OF A HAND
as it brushed the hair off my forehead was warm, comforting, something that I’d been missing in my dreams as of late. I felt safe and protected. The problem was waking up to an empty bed, realizing that he wasn’t there.

“Em, please wake up?” he whispered.

I tried to fight. The real world was a mess. I wanted to stay in my dreams. At least there, Andrew still loved me.

“Baby, please open your eyes. We need to talk.”

Unable to fight any longer, I let my eyes open. One look and I backed up so quickly, I almost flipped off the other side. He was faster though, holding onto my arm and keeping me on the bed. His touch was as warm as I remembered it.