He Loves Me...He Loves You Not (11 page)

“No,” I say. “Of course not.”

Rosa peers down the hall at the cracked open
door to Henry’s bedroom. She tilts her head toward the door.
“Because of him?”

I nod. “Please don’t be mad.”

The hard look on her face softens and she
sighs. Then she playfully slaps my shoulder. “You little slut! I
can’t believe you didn’t tell me! Here I am, worrying about you and
you’re off with the next Abercrombie model getting your freak
on.”

“I’m not a slut!” I exclaim. “I love
him.”

In the beginning of my time with Henry, I’d
thought the same thing. I kept thinking how I could be such a slut.
So careless with my precious innocence, but I came to the
realization that when feelings as strong as the feelings I had for
Henry were involved our acts weren’t wrong. In the past, I’d been a
thinker. I let my brain do the talking.
That’s not smart, Riley.
Or you don’t want to get in trouble.
One thing I learned from
loving Henry is that he taught me to follow my heart.

Rosa cocks her head to the side. “So, I’m
assuming Callie doesn’t know about you two.”

“No,” I say. “She doesn’t.”

“You better hope she doesn’t find out.”

I roll my eyes. “Callie Banfield doesn’t
scare me.”

Rosa harrumphs, “Well she should.”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever
heard.”

“Dude, don’t you remember what happened when
she found out about Cari Struthers?”

“Cari who?”

“You know.” She lowers her voice being
cautious. “That junior girl who had it bad for Henry when we were
sophomores.”

“Oh, yeah. The one who transferred.”

“And I’m sure you know why she
transferred.”

I shake my head. “Ro, I love Henry and he
loves me. There’s nothing Callie can do to scare me away. There’s
nothing she can do that’s going to change the way I feel.”

“Okay,” says Rosa. “But don’t say I didn’t
warn you.”

A second later, Callie stalks toward us and I
clam up. Shit. Her face screams pure hatred. She’s huffing, like
her entire body is full of hot air and that she’ll blow up if she
can’t release some.

She narrows her eyes at Rosa. “Hi.”

Then her head turns toward me slowly, like
she’s possessed. “It.” Her voice is trembling, fueled by rage. A
second later she pulls her hand back and slaps me across the
face.

Chapter 14

“
In her first passion, a woman loves her
lover, in all the others all she loves is love.”~ Lord Byron
~

It takes me a minute to react to the slap as
an irritating tingle spreads across my cheek. Instinctively I touch
my face and my mouth drops open.

“Stay away from my boyfriend,” Callie
growls.

Rosa scowls at her and opens her mouth, but I
don’t give her anytime to make a comment. In a blaze of aggression,
I lunge for Callie and slam her into the ground. The loud thud from
our bodies hitting the floor rings out and shakes the pictures
hanging on the walls.

She gasps and tries pushing me away as I grab
for her hair. There’s only a small part of me that’s attacking her
for the slap. The rest is for the years of nasty comments, torture
and the last bit is for Henry.

The sounds of his sobs pound through my brain
enraging me further. “He doesn’t love you!” I shout. And I surprise
myself by how crazy I sound.

Henry’s bedroom door flies open and Rosa is
tugging on my arm. “Riley, come on! Stop!”

I’ve almost got Callie’s arms under control
when Henry yells out, “Riley, what are you doing?”

He’s distracted me and I look over my
shoulder, taking in the panicked look on his face. The second my
eyes meet his, Callie yanks on my hair and rolls on top of me. She
throws a punch and I dodge it.

Callie throws a second punch and I try to
dodge it, but her fist slams into my shoulder. Henry has his hands
around her waist, lifting her off of me and Rosa takes me by the
arm and helps me to my feet. I lunge for her again and Rosa yanks
me back. “Riley, stop!” she scolds me.

I scream. So loud and boisterous that it’s
like the chanting of several thousand Romans cheering for their
favorite gladiator. Henry gives me a stern look. “Ry, you need to
chill.”

I’m outraged. “Are you defending her? She
slapped me first!”

“I’m not defending anyone,” he snaps. “I’m
saying you need to calm down.” He shakes his head and looks at
Rosa. “Can you take her outside?”

“Sure,” says Rosa.

“I’m not going anywhere!” I bark.

“Yes you are.” Rosa places a death grip
around my waist and I claw at her hands. “No way!” she yells. “I
have three older brothers and guess who they practiced their
wrestling moves with?”

“Let me go!”

“Nope.”

As Rosa drags me down the hall I’m seeing
red. I forget about how much I love Henry. I forget about his
unfortunate situation with his Mom. The only thing that I can think
about is how he might be taking her side over mine.

I don’t care how long they’ve been together.
I don’t care how she used to be because for as long as I’ve known
Callie Banfield, she’s been an awful person. And I’ve known her for
thirteen years.

Even though the fight between her and I seems
catty, all of my rage boils down to how I’m a good person and she’s
evil and she always seems to win. Henry is mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.
And she doesn’t deserve him.

I’m breathing heavy. I’ve had it. Sick mother
or not, he needs to pick one of us.

Every time I tell myself I’ve had enough, he
finds a way to suck me back in. He’s a black hole and I’m an
asteroid. Once the asteroid comes in contact with the black hole’s
gravitational pull, there’s no going back. I’ll more likely die or
lose my mind than escape this relationship in one piece.

Rosa nears the edge of the hall and I try to
shake her off of me. “No way,” she tells me. “You’re going to calm
down.”

I scowl at Henry and shout, “You need to make
a decision!”

Me or her. Me or her. Me or her.

He nods with an emotionless expression. He
knows I’m right. He knows that he’s let this little threesome has
gone on long enough.

And as Rosa nears the top of the steps,
silently I pray that he makes the right one.

Me.

Chapter 15

“
Love is like a mountain, hard to climb,
but once you get to the top the view is beautiful.” ~ Daniel Monroe
Tuttle ~

Outside, I pace in front of Henry’s house. I
focus on the porch swing, with its iron chains and hooks and oak
planks as the wind blows, tossing it back and forth. I think of how
many times I sat on that swing with Henry and how if Henry picks
her instead of me, it might be the last time I ever look at it.

Rosa watches me intensely. A look of worry
takes over her child-like facial features. “You’re scaring me,
Ry.”

I’m scaring myself.

Loud chatter and drunken laughter interrupts
my thinking process. I stop mid-pace as several kids from my grade
stroll across the perfectly manicured lawn to their cars. Two husky
boys, linemen from the football team straggle behind the rest of
the group and I’m careful not to make any sudden movements. They’re
talking to one another and I’m trying to eavesdrop.

“Did you hear all that noise?” I don’t
remember this boy’s name, but he has a bulging belly and a bald
head.

The second guy is slightly smaller in girth
and in height and he has thick orange hair that is sticking
up—spiked. “Man, Henry is probably giving it to her real good.”

Uncle Fester brushes passed me and raise an
eyebrow. “Wouldn’t you?” he asks orange hair. “If I had a
girlfriend that looked like Callie Banfield I know I would be.”

“I know,” orange hair replies. “Have you ever
seen how short she wears her cheerleading skirt? Ouch. Staring at
that ass gives me a toothache.”

I turn toward Rosa, staring out as her pale
face becomes a blur of white. My lips quiver. “He picked her,” I
say mechanically. Tears stream down my cheeks, drip off my chin,
and my knees buckle. Rosa is next to me in a flash and she catches
me before I fall. I bury my head in the crook of her neck. “I don’t
understand.” The words come out so hushed I can barely hear myself
say them.

Rosa embraces me tighter, smooths back my
hair, and whispers comforting words into my ears. “I know this is
probably going to be hard for you to hear right now, but it’s his
loss and if he’d rather be with someone like Callie over you, then
he doesn’t deserve you.”

I know she’s right. I’m thankful that I have
Rosa and I regret not telling her about Henry sooner. She’s so
smart and strong and that’s exactly what I need right now. I need
her strength because I’m so overwhelmed with hurt and heartbreak,
that I might consider running up to Henry’s room and asking him why
he’s doing this to me. Even if I walk in on them doing explicit
things, I don’t care. I want an explanation—no—I deserve an
explanation.

I head toward the front door and Rosa grabs
me by the arm. “No way, Ry. You’re not doing it. You’re not going
up there. I won’t let you.”

I’ve endured enough torture at Henry Garner’s
hand, a little more isn’t going to kill me or will it? “Rosa, I
have to know why.” I wipe the tears from my cheeks and more roll
down them. “I have to hear it from his lips.”

There’s no room for speculation when it comes
to love and heartbreak. It’s best to have every complication laid
out in front of you. That way there is no room for error. If Henry
tells me to my face that he picked Callie, there’s closure. Without
hearing it from him, there’s nothing.

Rosa positions herself directly in front of
me. “Riley, I’m not going to let you go up there.”

More waterworks and now my nose is running.
“Please,” I beg then sniffle.

She shakes her head and at that point, I’m so
hysterical that my whole body convulses. “You’re supposed to be my
best friend. Why do you insist on making me stay out here? Why do
you insist on watching me in agonizing pain?”

Rosa hugs me as I hit my knees and she falls
to the ground with me, keeping her arms wrapped around me tight.
It’s like I’m a recently stitched up would and Rosa is the bandage
that’s holding me together. “I’m not supposed to be your best
friend,” she tells me. “I am your best friend and this is what best
friends do when they see their BFF hurting.” She rises to her feet
and pulls me up with her. “They pick you up when you fall.” She
traces the half-crescents under my eyes with her thumb. “They wipe
away your tears.” Then she takes my face in her hands. “Then they
look you in the eye and tell you that you’re better than that.
Because you are. They tell you that you’re being stupid because you
are.”

I suck back my tears and whimper, “Hey.” A
half-whine. Half-shout.

“I’m not finished.” Her words are stern and
forceful.

I shut up. My tears ducts are drying up. Rosa
always has a way of making me feel better. I’m a puzzle with
missing pieces and she’s putting me back together again.

“Best friends remind you that you’re a
beautiful, amazing, person who deserves a guy who’s just as devoted
to you as you are to him. You deserve to be his one and only.” She
gazes intensely into my eyes and I smile. “Finally, best friends
have each other’s backs no matter what and no matter how this whole
Henry thing turns out, I’ll support you. Even if I don’t agree with
it.”

“Thank you.”

A soft smirk appears on her lips. “No
problem.”

She releases me and we turn, heading down the
driveway toward the booger. “And another thing,” she states and I
look at her. “If he really is back with Callie, don’t worry about
killing him because I’ll kill him first.”

Chapter 16

“
Love has features which pierce all
hearts, he wears a bandage which conceals the faults of those
beloved. He has wings, he comes quickly and flies away the same.”~
Voltaire ~

Saturday comes. An early morning gust of wind
whirls through my window and carries the scent of autumn in with
it.

I’m not ready for the seasons to change from
summer to fall. I’m not ready for change, period.

There’s a bite of chill from the wind
hovering above my bed. It stings my cheeks and I shiver. My eyelids
flutter open as goose bumps line my skin. I look over at Rosa.
She’s hogging the blanket. Then I stumble out of bed, over to the
window and close it with a growl.

Leaving my window open is a habit I’m going
to have to learn how to break. Henry is a habit I’m going to have
to learn how to break.

I’ve heard it takes twenty-eight days to
break a habit. If that’s true, I’m certain the twenty-eight days I
have ahead of me will be the most torturous and grueling
twenty-eight days of my life.

Before sliding back into my bed, I check my
cell. No missed calls. No texts.

It’s over, I tell myself. Stop thinking about
him. But that’s easier said than done.

Henry made feel special. He made me feel
fearless. He made me feel loved.

As I climb back into bed, I yank the blanket
away from Rosa. She groans rolls over, and plows the heel of her
hand into my shoulder. Searing pain spreads across my arm and I
wince. I express how the pain feels silently so that I don’t wake
her up.