Having Her: Lies We Tell, Book 2 (35 page)

“Yes, I’m staying.”

“Then I’ll leave you to—”

“On one condition.” Her expression full of everything he didn’t even know he’d been wanting. “You have to stay too.”

Vin stilled. “I meant it, Kara. This house and everything in it is yours. You don’t have to have anything to do with me if you don’t want to.”

“But I do want to.” A small tear leaked out of the corner of her eye. “Nothing’s changed for me, Vin Fox. I’m still just as much in love with you as I was when I left.”

He wasn’t sure if he should breathe, in case the moment shattered. “You really want me to stay?”

“Yes.”

“Because if I do…I don’t think I could ever bring myself to leave.”

“Idiot,” Kara said. “I don’t want you to leave. I
never
wanted you to leave.”

He should be gentle, he really should. But he didn’t know if he could.

Vin took off her glasses and put them down on the dresser near the crib. Then he slid an arm around her waist, bringing her hard against him, cupping the back of her head with the other. Without the heavy black frames her face looked naked, vulnerable. Just like he felt.

“You’ll stay here with me, Kara? You’ll never leave me?”

She didn’t look away from him. Stared right at him, into his soul. “No. I’ll never leave you, Vin.”

And all his longing overflowed. He bent, covering her mouth with his own, desperate and hungry for her. The taste of her skin. The feel of her body. The sound of her voice. Everything.

“Oh Christ, I missed you, baby,” he whispered as he kissed her throat, her jaw, her neck. “I missed you so much.”

He couldn’t wait anymore. Tightening his arms around her, he lifted her, carrying her into the bedroom down the hallway. Then he set her down on the white bed and began to undress her. His hands were shaking. Jesus, he was a mess. But that was okay because hers were shaking too and the expression on her face was as raw and desperate as his.

It felt like forever till they were finally naked but then he had her on her back on the white sheets and he was between her thighs, and finally, finally, he was inside her, the wet heat of her welcoming him at last.

Such relief. Like coming home.

He buried his face in her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her, shaking, hearing her gasp. Feeling her legs wrap around his waist, holding him to her.

How had he managed without her? How had he thought he could?

He wrapped her in his arms, holding her close like a secret. The desperation had eased now he was here, where he belonged. In the house he’d built for her.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured against her skin. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

“It’s okay.” Her hands stroked down his back, soothing. “Just love me, Vin. Give me everything you have.”

So he did. He gave her everything.

And when she gave it back, he felt, for the first time in his life, whole.

The warm pressure of something on her stomach woke her. She opened her eyes, unsure for a second where she was because the room was unfamiliar. Opposite her was a window that gave a perfect view out over the sea. It was open, fresh salty air filtering through the other scents of fresh paint and polish.

And she remembered.

Kara turned her head and there he was, beside her. He had one hand on her naked belly, stroking gently. Already it was slightly curved. Soon she’d be showing.

Sensing she was awake, his eyes met hers. There was no gray in them, the blue deep and brilliant. Then he smiled and she wanted to cry.

Stupid man.

“What changed your mind?” she asked into the silence.

His hand continued to stroke gently. “I was cleaning out your kitchen—”

“My kitchen? What the hell were you doing in my kitchen?”

“Keep quiet and I’ll tell you. So, yes, I was cleaning out your kitchen, after spending the night cuddling your nightgown.”

She laughed. “Oh my God, you did not.”

“I did. I ripped up your note then fell asleep drunk on your bed with your nightgown. Then I woke up with a mother of a hangover and started doing the cleaning.”

“Sounds about right.”

“And as I was doing it, I suddenly started wondering why the fuck I cared enough to clean out your damn fridge.” He paused. “That’s when I realized what a dickhead I’d been. That I loved you.”

She lifted a hand to the powerful curve of his shoulder, unable to stop touching him. “You
were
kind of a dickhead.”

“I know, believe me, I know. Anyway, afterwards I went to see Mum and she was lucid. She was my mother again. The mother I lost. But of course… I never really lost her. She was always there. I was the one who was lost, so caught up in resentment and anger at Dad, I couldn’t see what was in front of me.” His stroking fingers halted but he didn’t remove his hand. “I shut a lot of people out of my life because I was angry. Because anger was easier. I shut out Mum. And Ellie.” He paused. “And I shut out you.”

She put a hand over his. “You know why I left, don’t you?”

“Yeah. And I meant what I said at the airport. You were right to go. You were right to want more.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“But I needed it, Kara. I needed to feel it. Because if you hadn’t left me, I don’t know if I’d ever have had the guts to change. You made me see how angry I’ve been. How I’ve let resentment color my whole life. And I just didn’t see it until you’d gone.”

Her fingers tightened on his. “And you made me realize how strong I was. Stronger than I’d ever thought possible.”

“You
are
strong, baby. You’re going to be the best mother.” He leaned down, kissed her stomach. “And I’m going to do my best to be a decent dad.”

Kara threaded her fingers through his hair, tugging him gently up. “Are you sure you want to do this still?”

“Yes.” The answer was unhesitating. “I don’t want to be angry any more. I don’t want to be resentful. That’s not any kind of attitude I want to show my kid. And I figure the one sure way I can be a better man than my dad is to be a better father.” He looked at her. “I want this, Kara. I want it not for me but because my kid deserves it.” There was such intensity in his eyes. All that ferocious protectiveness that was so much a part of who he was.

She bit her lip. “Great. Thanks for making me cry.”

He moved, brushing his mouth against hers. “I’ll take that as a success since neither sex nor sharp objects were involved.”

She gave a breathless laugh, blinking. “It’s just weird to cry because you’re happy.”

But a tear must have escaped anyway because gently, his fingers stroking the side of her face, his thumb smoothed across her cheek. He didn’t speak for a long moment, just stared at her. Then he said, “Kara, will you marry me?”

Her heart felt like it would burst apart. “Is that a formal marriage proposal?”

“Yeah. Am I going to get a formal answer?”

“Can I think about it?”

The look in his eyes was serious now, her Vincent Fox. “No.”

Kara swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Demanding bastard. Give me those words again and I’ll give you an answer.”

The corner of his mouth curled. “This won’t be an easy marriage, will it?”

“You really want easy?”

His smile deepened. “Of course not. I love a challenge.”

“The words, Vin.”

He slid his fingers into her hair, tangling, tightening at her nape. “I want a honeymoon too. With the slave costume.”

“You’re upping the stakes. It’s going to mean not just saying the words but following up with some serious action.”

Vin laughed and the sound was warmer than the summer sun filling the room. “Like that’ll be a problem. What are the words again?”

She loved it when he teased her. It was a side he never normally showed. “You know.”

His fingers tightened even further, tugging her head back so her mouth was close. “You’ll have to give me an example.”

“I love you, Vincent Fox.”

“Oh,” he murmured. “Those words.” He kissed her, softly, gently. “I love you, Vincent Fox.”

“Idiot.” Kara hit him on the shoulder and he laughed again, slowly easing his body over her, the weight of him pressing her deliciously into the sheets. One arm slid under her, his palm running up her spine, gathering her close. His smile faded, his expression becoming serious, but the warmth didn’t leave his eyes. “I love you, Kara Sinclair. I love your smart mouth and your weird dress sense. I love the way you never back down. The way you always argue. The way you give everything you’ve got to people you care about. Shit, I think I even love the colors you put in your hair.”

Ah, those words. She’d never get sick of hearing them.

“My answer, baby. You’re going to marry me, aren’t you?”

She nibbled on her lip, making him sweat a little. “Hmmm. I’ll think about it.”

Vin bent his head, bit the side of her neck. Kara gave a gasping laugh. “Okay, okay. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

“And you’ll live here with me?”

“Yes.”

“We’ll be a family. You and me and our kid?”

“We will, Vin.”

“And speaking of family, I think you should try contacting your brother and sister again.”

Her breath caught, an old, reflexive fear tightening in her chest. “I don’t know if they even still remember me.”

“They’ll remember you, Kara.”

Typical Vin. So certain. But Rose and Liam
were
part of her family. And it was time to claim them back. “I guess I’ve always been afraid to try and make contact with them. I can’t imagine Mum would have told them anything good about me. But…you’re right. It’s time.”

“Damn straight.”

A small silence fell as he settled against her, holding her tightly. Then he said, “I don’t have an engagement ring for you. But…” His gaze met hers. “I still have a key.”

She didn’t miss the reference, thinking of the little circle of precious metal she’d carted all the way to Tokyo and back again because she didn’t know what to do with it. Because she didn’t want to part with it. Vin’s collar.

Kara smiled up at him. “Give me a minute.”

“You have two seconds.”

She laughed, slipped out of his arms and went downstairs, opening up her suitcase. The collar was at the bottom, rolled up in a T-shirt. She took it out and went back upstairs to where he waited for her.

He didn’t smile when he saw what she held in her hands, but a spark in his eyes glowed suddenly hot. “You kept it.”

“Of course I did.” She held up the little padlock that went with it. “And I have this too.”

“Come here.”

She went over to the bed. God, she missed hearing that note in his voice. The command. The authority. It made her want to get down on her knees for him.

“Put it on,” he said.

So she sat on the bed and put the collar around her own neck, turning her back to him. His fingers brushed her nape as he swept aside her hair, and then came the soft click as he snapped the padlock closed.

And it felt so right. A part of her.

His arms slid around her, pulling her back against him. “You’re mine forever now.”

She reached up above her head and back, her fingers trailing in his hair. “I’m okay with that. As long as you’re mine too.”

“You know I am.” He kissed the back of her neck, just below the catch on her collar, the soft skin where the padlock rested. “It’s going to be good, baby. It’s going to be so good.”

And it was.

About the Author

Jackie has been writing fiction since she was eleven years old. Mild mannered fantasy/SF/pseudo-literary writer by day, obsessive romance writer by night, she used to balance her writing with the more serious job of librarianship until a chance meeting with another romance writer prompted her to throw off the shackles of her day job and devote herself to the true love of her heart—writing romance. She particularly likes to write dark, emotional stories with alpha heroes who’ve just got the world to their liking only to have it blown wide apart by their kick-ass heroines.

She lives in Auckland, New Zealand with her husband, the inimitable Dr. Jax, two kids, two cats and some guppies (possibly dead guppies by the time you read this). When she’s not torturing alpha males and their stroppy heroines, she can be found drinking chocolate martinis, reading anything she can lay her hands on, posting random crap on her blog, or being forced to go mountain biking with her husband.

You can find Jackie at
www.jackieashenden.com
or follow her on Twitter
@JackieAshenden

Look for these titles by Jackie Ashenden

Now Available:

Falling for Finn

Black Knight, White Queen

Lies We Tell

Taking Him

Coming Soon: