Gunz and Roses (21 page)

“To my crib.” He took a long pull from the blunt in his hand and exhaled slowly.

Gray knew that she had a follow-up question, but unknowingly, she became caught up in Gunz's swagger. He was the true definition of sexy. The way the smoke from the blunt escaped through his lips and into the air turned her on to the fullest. Gray wanted him to put it on her in the worst way imaginable. She wished for nothing more than for him to pull over, ease the seat back, push her knees up to her chest, and kiss her pussy until she screamed out, “Wait a minute, muthafucka!”

He looked good as hell in a black Yankees cap, red-and-black lumberjack flannel, Monarchy jeans, and high top Vans. Gunz took his eyes off the rode and looked at her out of the corner of his eye. Gray didn't have to say a word; he already knew what was on her mind. He simply hit her with his infamous crooked grin and refocused on the road.

“What are you talkin' about?” she finally questioned, coming back to reality. “Your place is in the city.”

“I got more than one spot where I lay my head, Gray.”

“Why you just now tellin' me about it?”

“'Cause I don't tell many people about it.”

Gray didn't know if she should feel honored or put off.

Ten minutes later, they pulled up to a secluded gated community. Gray was amazed by how immaculate and beautiful the area was. Gunz's house—better yet, mansion—was by far the flyest on the block. It was 6300 square feet and worth $3.5 million. There was a Spanish appeal to the exterior.

Gunz hopped out and opened her door. With her hand in his, he led her up the steps. Gorgeous bushes and white flowers lined the walkway.

Gunz unlocked the front door and escorted Gray inside. Striking brunette hardwood paneling and floors filled the interior of the home. An appearance of awe was plastered onto Gray's face as Gunz gave her a tour of the quarters. The mansion held five bedrooms, six bathrooms, a gourmet kitchen, vaulted cathedral ceilings, French doors, a den, an office, a foyer with massive skylights, a pool with a waterfall, an outdoor cooking area, and a guest/maid quarters.

Although Gunz's place was gorgeous, it looked barely lived in. There was hardly any furniture or knick-knacks.

“I take it you don't come here too often.” She turned and faced him.

“Nah, not really.” He leaned up against the built-in kitchen island.

“Why not?”

“I just don't.”

“I think the reason is because you get lonely. I mean, this is just too much house for one person.”

“Maybe you're right.” Gunz smiled.

“Is this one of the paintings you were talkin' about in Chicago?” Gray pointed to a self-portrait of the famed artist Salvador Dali.

“Yeah.”

“It's beautiful in a sort of demented way.”

“C'mon. I got a surprise for you.” He took her hand.

“What kind of surprise?” Her face lit up.

“Come wit' me and you'll find out.”

Gunz led Gray downstairs to the basement. She was shocked to find a bowling alley and arcade room, but what took the cake was when Gunz revealed his movie room. It wasn't fully finished, but a huge projector hung from the ceiling. Instead of sitting on custom made seats, he had a pallet on the floor. On top of the satin covers were beautiful handcrafted Indian pillows. In front of each of their pillows were popcorn buckets filled with an assortment of snacks. A popcorn machine and soda fountain were off to the side of the room.

“I can't believe you did all of this,” she gushed.

“It's cool. Anything for you.” He kissed her gently on the forehead. “C'mon. The movie about to start.”

“What are we watching?” Gray asked as she took a seat on the floor.

“Since I know you like all them girlie flicks, I asked my man out in New York to get me a copy of that new Sarah Jessica Parker film.”

“Oh my God. Thank you so much, Gunz. Nobody has ever done anything like this for me.”

“A'ight, don't get all sentimental on me,” he joked.

“No, for real, this is really sweet.” Gray became quiet as tears filled the brims of her eyes.

“Come here.” She leaned forward and placed her hands on both sides of his face.

Gunz closed his eyes as Gray lovingly kissed his lips. Whatever in life she wanted, he was willing to provide. He loved to see Gray happy. As long as she was satisfied, he was good. He just hoped they could get past all the drama. Gray was still very insecure and sensitive about everything that had gone down. And yes, he was the cause of it. Gunz knew at times he could be arrogant and all about self, but loving someone outside of himself and his family was new to him.

For as long as he could remember, he'd only had his own feelings to be concerned with. Sometimes, he looked at Gray and wondered,
Why does she stay?
From day one, all she'd ever wanted was him. She always put him before herself. He never spent as much time with her as he could. Gunz knew deep down that he was unworthy of her love. He often questioned, could he be the man she needed him to be? Hopefully, if given the time, he would be able to figure it all out before it was too late.

G
ray never looked more beautiful. Everyone she encountered that night told her so. Her hair was perfectly styled and coiffed into a side bun. Chanel makeup adorned her face. The dusty pink kimono-sleeve Thayer mini-dress she rocked cost $300. On her feet were the black Givenchy ankle boots Gunz bought for her. As always, her eyebrows, nails, and feet were done to perfection, but none of that changed the fact that she felt miserable on the inside.

The man she adored stood before her, texting on his cell phone as if she were invisible. Half the night had passed, and they'd barely said two full sentences to each other. Kema and King were over to the side, laughing, drinking, and having a good time. No one seemed to notice or care about the torture she was going through. But Gray only had herself to blame. She'd wanted Gunz no matter the cost, and now she had him.

For years, she'd prayed to be in a relationship. She grew weary of spending all her weekends alone. She hated when the phone rang and it wasn't that special someone on the other end. It hadn't been fair that she didn't have someone to hold on to during the still of the night. Why couldn't she have a man to kiss all of her pain away? At last Gunz came into the picture.

On paper, he was everything she wanted: fine, wit' a pretty smile, fat pockets, and a big dick. You couldn't tell her in the beginning he wasn't sent from Jehovah himself. Gray never expected all of the bullshit that came along with him. None of that was a part of her fantasy. They were supposed to fall in love and ride off into the sunset. Never was she supposed to put his needs before her own not to get the same in return.

There were to be no tears. Her heart wasn't supposed to mend itself only to be let down time and time again. Maybe this was how all relationships were and someone forgot to give her the memo, or maybe Gunz just wasn't the man she wanted him to be. Either way, Gray was tired of teeter-tottering on the crossroads of disappointment.

“You okay?” Kema asked, taking a seat across from her.

“Uh-huh.” Gray absentmindedly nodded her head.

“You sure? 'Cause you've been quiet all night.”

“I'm fine.” Gray forced herself to smile.

“Okay, let me know if you need something.” Kema rubbed her knee then went back to dancing.

Gray sat back and folded her arms across her chest. She was past ready to end the night and go home. She just wasn't in the mood for being in a club around a bunch of drunken fools, especially when her man wasn't paying her any attention.

Feeling her eyes on him, Gunz stopped texting and looked over his shoulder.

Gray was staring directly at him with a fed up expression on her face. He was so sick of seeing her look like that. He understood that she was still hurt over the Devin situation, but damn, how long did he have to suffer behind it? Every time he turned around, she wanted to talk about how she felt and how he'd hurt her. If his phone rang and he didn't answer, she immediately assumed it was a chick. If he didn't come over like promised, he was fuckin' another chick. Gray had become the insecure woman he'd never wanted her to be. Gunz had bigger things to worry about than the made-up shit that was running through her brain. And no, he wasn't making light of her feelings; he just felt that if they were going to make it work, it was time for her to get past the drama and move on.

“What's wrong wit' you?” he said dryly, pulling up a chair.

“Nothing,” she lied.

“You ready to go or something?”

“No. I mean, if you wanna leave, we can.”

Gunz leaned his head back and exhaled. It was obvious to anyone with two eyes that Gray was ready to go. Why she wouldn't just admit it was beyond him. Gunz simply chalked it up to silly shit women do.

“Well, look, we can leave after I finish my drink.”

“Okay.”

Gray looked out the corner of her eye and watched as Gunz checked his phone. He'd received a new text message. She couldn't see what the message said, but she did recognize the name Devin on the screen. Gray felt as if she'd been stabbed one hundred times in the chest. The first question that came to her head was why she was still contacting him when he said they'd broken things off.
Maybe he did and she just won't get a clue
, Gray tried to convince herself, even though her gut was screaming out
Bitch, please
!

“You ready?” Gunz asked, bringing her back to reality.

“Yeah,” she replied, grabbing her coat and clutch purse.

Gray gave Kema a hug and air kiss good-bye then followed silently behind Gunz back to his car.

“What is wrong wit' you?” he questioned, fed up.

Gray stopped dead in her tracks and looked up from the concrete.

“Why is Devin still textin' you?”

“What are you talkin' about?”

“You know exactly what I'm talkin' about. I saw her name on your screen.”

“What was you doing lookin' at my phone?”

“I wasn't,” she lied. “I just happened to look over and saw her name.”

Pissed, Gunz opened the passenger door and let her inside without saying another word. Gray wanted an explanation, but he wasn't about to give her one. He didn't have to, because he wasn't doing shit. Once he too was in the car, he started the engine and hit the highway.

“So you not gon' answer my question?” She turned in her seat to face him.

“What you want me to say? She text me. You see I ain't reply back.”

“But why is she still callin' you?”

“That's a good question. Why don't you call her back and ask her?”

Gray was speechless. A snarl formed on her face.
I can't stand his punk ass
, she thought.

“This is some bullshit,” she whispered underneath her breath, turning back around straight.

“What you say?” Gunz took his eyes off the road.

“You heard me. I didn't stutter. This . . . is . . . some . . . bullshit.” She bobbed her head.

“If it's so much some bullshit, then why you still fuckin' wit' me?” he shot.

“That's a good question,” she quipped as they pulled up to his spot.

Gunz got out and slammed the door. Gray sat inside the car, fuming, thinking,
What the fuck am I doing? This nigga is so full of shit, and my dumb ass just keep on steppin' in it like a fool.

Gunz popped the trunk and grabbed her overnight bag.

“Are you coming or are you gon' sit yo' ass in the car?” he shot, standing by the entrance door of the building.

Without uttering a response, she got out. An unsettling quietness swept through Gunz's condo as they stepped inside. Gray felt unwelcome and out of place. Gunz acted as if he didn't even want her there. Instead of making her feel at home, he proceeded with taking off his clothes and going to bed. Not knowing what else to do, Gray followed suit. Gunz pretended not to watch as she stripped down to only her black lace Agent Provocateur panty and bra set.

Since he was mad at her, he was happy that the comforter over him concealed the hard-on he had growing inside his boxers. He didn't want Gray to have the satisfaction of knowing her body alone made his dick hard.

Unable to rest, she sat up underneath the covers. Too much was on her mind, and she wasn't about to leave any of it unsaid.

“What are we doing?”

“Going to sleep,” Gunz answered with his face buried in the pillow.

“You don't even sleep, and you know that's not what I'm talkin' about. What are we doing? Better yet, what am I doing? This is not how it's supposed to be.”

“What are you talkin' about now, Gray?” he huffed.

“This is not the relationship I envisioned for myself. You are not giving me what I need.”

“What the fuck you mean, I ain't giving you what you need? Don't I take care of you?”

“Yeah, but it's about more than that. You don't love me. Hell, you not even my man. All we doing is fuckin', so technically all I am is a high-price ho.”

“Are you fuckin' conscious? Are you even listening to yourself right now?” he asked as his cell phone began to ring.

Gunz picked up his phone from off the nightstand and checked the screen, but opted not to answer it.

“Hmm, must be a bitch,” Gray scoffed.

“Real talk, you need to chill out,” he warned, fed up.

“Whateva, Gunz. Since when you don't answer yo' phone?”

Before he could reply with a smart comeback, his phone rang again.

“Answer it!”

“How can I answer the phone when I'm 'sleep?” He laughed.

“I'm glad you think this shit a game.”

The words weren't even all the way out of Gray's mouth when there was a buzz at his door. An ache resonated through Gray's body so strong that the air in her lungs ceased. It was apparent that whoever had just called Gunz was now at his door. Gray checked her watch. It was 3:00
AM
. She'd grown to know Gunz well enough that if it were a business call, he would've answered. The fact that he didn't confirmed her female intuition that the caller and person at the door was a chick. The only person that came to mind was Devin. It had to be her. Gray would've bet her last dollar that it was.

“Let me guess; you not gon' answer the door either?”

“Nope. Whoever that is will get the hint.” Gunz folded his arms underneath his head, unfazed.

If he didn't play it cool, Gray would see the worry in his eyes. Devin was really on some immature shit. Ever since he'd broken things off with her, she'd begun to bug the fuck out of him. If she wasn't calling, she was texting or stopping by unannounced. She insisted that they should be together and that the bond they'd built throughout the years was unbreakable. Gunz didn't know what it was going to take for her to see that he wasn't feeling her like that.

“I ain't got time for this shit.” Gray snatched the covers from off her body and shot up.

“Where you going?” He sat up.

“Home!” She started to put on her dress.

“Quit trippin', man. Calm down and get back in the bed.”

“I wish I would. Fuck that. You ain't about to sit up here and disrespect me.”

“So I'm tryin' to disrespect you 'cause I don't feel like answering the door?” he questioned, perplexed.

“Whateva, Gunz. You play too many games.” Gray waved him off.

“Now I play too many games. Which one is it? 'Cause I can't possibly be doing both,” he joked.

Gray ignored him and placed on her heels. Whoever was at the door had stopped buzzing the bell and left.

“So you really about to leave?” he asked as she picked up her purse.

Gray continued to give him the silent treatment as she grabbed her overnight bag.
I should've never brought my ass over here in the first place
, she thought, heading toward the door.

“Gray.” Gunz jumped out of the bed and followed her. He caught up with her and took her hand.

“Don't touch me.” She jerked her hand away.

“What the fuck is your problem?”

“You're my problem! I can't keep on doing this shit wit' you!”

“What shit? You the one that's trippin'!”

“Gunz, you got a a fuckin' bitch at your door at three o'clock in the morning and I ain't supposed to say shit? Like, you really got me fucked up,” she stressed, shooting him a look that could kill.

“I got you fucked up? Really?” he stated sarcastically. “Gray, I swear to God, sometimes you be on some bullshit.”

“You know what? I ain't even for all the back and forth bullshit. Do you want to be wit' me or not? 'Cause I ain't the one for holding on to a muthafucka that don't wanna be kept.”

“If I didn't want to be wit' you, do you think I would be tryin' this hard?”

“Hard,” she repeated in disbelief. “Gunz, you haven't tried to do shit! What, you think 'cause you call me every now and then and spend a little time with me that you trying? Nigga, please.” She looked him up and down.

“So that's honestly how you feel?” Gunz questioned, crushed.

“It's always something wit' you. If you not standing me up, you lying to me or fuckin' wit' another female. You not gon' do me like that.”

“I thought we was tryin' to get past all that.”

“How can we when shit like this keep on happening? Just be a man about it and admit that you still fuckin' around.”

“See, you hardheaded.” He pointed his finger in her face. “How many times I gotta tell you that I ain't fuckin' wit' nobody else? I know I was on some fucked-up shit at first, but since we've been back together, I've been good. I ain't tryin' to be wit' no one but you, Gray, and you know that.” He stepped closer. “I need you.”

Hearing him say the words
I need you
caused Gray's heart to skip a beat, but that didn't stop the growing suspicions that plagued her mind.

“I don't know, Gunz.”

“You mean to tell me after everything we've been through you, gon' leave me now?” he spoke softly in her ear.

“Maybe we should just let each other go now before one of us gets hurts,” she suggested, really not wanting to.

“How can I let you go when your heart's where I lay my head?”

Gray rubbed her forehead, overwhelmed. Her gut was telling her to walk away, but her heart couldn't bear the notion. Gunz had a hold on her that was unbreakable.

“Just come lay down.” He lovingly caressed the side of her face.

Before Gray could react, his lips were on hers. She felt smothered yet wanted at the same time. Gunz's hands roamed up her thighs. Seconds later, her hands were gripping the sheets. The freakiness she and Gunz created was sinfully orgasmic. She'd cum numerous times, but the thought still lingered:
Why do I feel so empty?