Gunz and Roses (19 page)

“Boy, boo.” She waved him off, knowing she was the shit. “Let's roll.”

 

The infamous words “It's Britney, bitch” rang through the air as Gray sipped on Cranberry and Absolut. Tee-Tee snapped his fingers and popped his booty to the beat
.
The Complex, St. Louis' largest gay nightclub was packed. Being around a lot of people lifted Gray's spirits some, but thoughts of Gunz still invaded her mental space. The fact that he still hadn't called spoke volumes. Maybe they would never get past the drama. Maybe this was how their relationship was destined to be, one unfulfilled promise after another.

“Peep game.” Tee-Tee nudged her arm. “Li'l Daddy over there by the bar is jockin' me.”

Gray looked in the direction he was pointing. It was dark, so she could barely see.

“All right, from what I can see, he look kinda cute. I'm glad I know now he playin' for yo' team.”

“Don't sleep, girl. Most niggas these days like gettin' it in they dookey chute.”

“C'mon, Tee-Tee, that is revolting. You done made my stomach hurt. I don't even want the last of my drink.”

“Shit, I'll take it.” He took her glass and gulped down the last of what she had left. “Uh-oh, code ten! This is my shit.” he twirled around in a circle like a disco queen.

“Buttons” by The Pussycat Dolls was playing. Like Gray, Tee-Tee loved to do his thing on the dance floor. Just like in the video, he slowly sauntered over to his prey while mouthing the words to the song. Tee-Tee ran his hands across his chest, popped open his shirt and sang, “You've been sayin' all the right things all night long, but I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off.”

Gray didn't know if she should try to stop him, or let him continue on with his striptease. No matter what she did, it wasn't gonna stop him. Tee-Tee was completely in the zone. With his focus on the guy, he tossed his hair wildly then bent down. On his way back up, he grabbed his right leg and placed it in the air. After that, he found a chair and took a seat, but Tee-Tee wasn't done.

Spreading his legs wide, he rolled his torso then crossed his legs. Gray was speechless. Just as she was trying to recover from Tee-Tee's antics, her cell phone began to vibrate. Every fiber of her being prayed that it was Gunz so she could light his ass up. Her prayers were answered when his name popped onto the screen.

“What?” she answered with an attitude as she made her way outside.

“Where you at?”

“No, the question is where are you, and why haven't you been answering your phone?”

“One question at a time, ma,” he joked.

“I'm not playin' wit' you. Where are you? You were supposed to be picking me up hours ago.”

“I know, I know. Shit just got hectic, ma.”

“Yeah, okay, tell me anything.” Gray rolled her eyes. “So when are you coming?”

“It's already late. Why don't I just come get you in the morning?”

“Are you fuckin' kidding me? I just turned down a muthafuckin' trip to Paris to be here wit' you and you got the nerve to ask me can you come get me in the morning? I don't think so. You said you was coming to get me tonight, so that's what you're going to do.”

“Gray, it's already going on ten, and I got to go to the crib and get dressed.”

“That sound like a personal problem to me. Besides, I'm down here by your house anyway, so I'll just have Tee-Tee drop me off.”

“You hard-headed. What I just tell you? I told you we'll get up in the morning, so what's the fuckin' problem?”

“You the one making it a fuckin' problem,” Gray snapped, having had enough. “If you don't want me there, just say so.”

“When have I ever not wanted you there?”

“Exactly, so what's the fuckin' problem today?”

“I'm about to get off this phone, 'cause you trippin', and I'm not about to argue wit' you.”

“I'm trippin',” Gray repeated, offended.

“Did I stutter? And besides, why you sweatin' me?”

“Sweatin' you?”

“Don't act stupid. You been blowin' up my phone all night.”

“The only reason I called yo' ol' raggedy-ass phone so many times is because you wouldn't answer the phone!”

“And that didn't tell you something?” Gunz barked.

“You know what? Fuck you! You don't ever have to worry about me callin' that muthafucka again!”

“This conversation is a wrap. I'll holla at you tomorrow.” He hung up.

Gray held the phone, stunned. Gunz had never spoken to her that way. Unwilling to let him get the last word, she called back, only for him to send her straight to voicemail. Gunz had her fucked up if he thought shit was about to go down like that. Amped as hell, she went back into the club and found Tee-Tee on the dance floor, bumping and grinding with the tender from the bar.

“I looooove your tattoos,” Tee-Tee confirmed, running his index finger down his arm.

“I got a whole lot of 'em too. My favorite one is the one I got above my ass that say B-A-N.”

“B-A-N?” Tee-Tee twisted up his face, confused. “What does that mean?”

“C'mon, ma, don't tell me you ain't never met a bad-ass nigga before.”

“Okay, that's enough.” Gray broke up their banter. “Look-a here, Dance Fevah. We gots to go.” She pulled on Tee-Tee's sleeve.

“Uh-uh, girl. I think I might've found the man of my dreams. Gray, meet my new boo, Death Row. Ain't he fine? I bet you any money he and Gunz cousins.”

“What it do, Dim Sum?” He stuck out his hand for a pound and smiled.

Gray looked around to make sure he was talking to her. When she realized he was, she tried to figure out whether she should laugh or get mad. Death Row was a hot mess up close. Souljah Boy Tell'em's song “Yahh Bitch Yahh” kept on playing in her mind as she looked him up and down. His mouth was filled with gold teeth, but what made it worse was that the top row spelled out
Death
and the bottom spelled out
Row
. Covering his eyes were a pair of white Ray-Ban shades.

His outfit consisted of a red handkerchief tied around his neck, white T-shirt that reached all the way down to his knees, and too big MFG jeans. Instead of rocking one chain, this fool wore not only a gold herringbone necklace, but a silver one too. His choice of shoes made Gray even more furious. Death Row had the nerve to rock a pair of white K-Swiss with red stripes on the side. The icing on the cake was the homemade prison tattoos that covered his arms. Any part of her that thought he was attractive went away with a quickness.

“Not a damn thing,” she replied dryly.

“Now wait a minute, Crab Rangoon. I know you jealous and all 'cause Teyana got at me first, but you can save the attitude, big girl.”

“Excuse you?”

“You're excused. Lookin' like yo' name Me So Horny.”

“I'm not even about to go there wit' you. Tee-Te, bring yo' ass on!”

“W
here in the hell are we going?” Tee-Tee slapped his hand across the steering wheel, pissed. “I'm supposed to be at The Complex right now making love in the club, but nooooooooooo, I'm in the car wit' no heat, stuck wit' yo' depressed ass,” he rambled on. “I swear this is some bulllllshit. It never fails. Er'time we go out, y'all bitches wanna cock block! Er'time I go to get me a li'l taste, here one of you lonely hoes go. ‘Tee-Tee, I'm tired. I wanna go home. My feet hurt.' And don't think I didn't see you giving Bernard the eye. I'm tellin' you now, Gray, I will go Kung Fu Panda on yo' ass. Don't fuck wit' me. I will stomp a bitch over him.”

“Who the fuck is Bernard?”

“That's my B.D. government name. Ain't it cute, girl?” Tee-Tee smiled.

“This is too much muthafuckin' playin'. And by the way, don't nobody want that Peabody reject but you. Up there lookin' like Flava Flav illegitimate son,” Gray snapped back, staring out the window.

“Okay, that is what the fuck is up. See, I was gon' make you my maid of honor, but fuck that! Yo' ass ain't gon' be nowhere near the church. Now, where are we going?”

“To The Loft.”

“What's at The Loft?”

“Gunz.”

“What? You told him I would drop you off or something?”

“No. I wanna see who he's there with.”

“Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeell no! No you don't got me on no
Fatal Attraction
shit. Where is the white rabbit, Glenn Close? Huh? In the trunk?” He shot her a look.

“Negro, please. You the last one to talk. Remember that night you had me get out my sleep so I could be the lookout for you while you put sugar in Derek tank?”

“You sho' right. You always was a ride or die chick. So let a bitch know the deal. Do I got to call the goon squad or what? 'Cause please believe Delicious number is on speed dial. One clap of the hand and a
kooo-kooo!
the Mafia will attack, no questions asked.”

“Tee-Tee, I appreciate the help, but Gunz will kill all of y'all asses on sight.”

“Oh, you must think this is a game. I ain't no punk, Gray. I goes hard for mine.” He reached under the seat and pulled out a nickel-plated .22.

“If you don't put that shit up . . .” Gray scooted close to the door, nervous. “What are you doing wit' a gun?”

“Ride or die, fool. Ride . . . or . . . die.”

“I am so over this conversation. Here I am thinking I need to be scared around Gunz, and the whole time you the real thug. This is some bullshit. Pull over right here.” She pointed.

As always, The Loft was jumpin'. Gray could hear the sound of Li'l Wayne's “A Millie” all the way across the street. Unconsciously she began to dance in her seat. Gray almost wanted to say fuck Gunz and go in and do her thing, but she couldn't. She had to stay focused on the task at hand, and that was catching his lying ass in the act.

Gray scanned the front entrance of the club. The line to get in stretched all the way around the corner. She could hear some of the women complaining about their feet hurting. One girl even went so far as to take her heels off and stand barefoot on the cement. A slight grin formed on Gray's face. Seeing the girl in pain reminded her of the night she first met Gunz.

Who would've thought nine months later she would be sitting outside a club on some crazy woman shit. What fucked Gray up was that she knew she was trippin'. She was acting like a psycho but couldn't stop herself. An intense need to find out the truth had taken over, although deep down inside she already knew what the deal was. Gray knew Gunz was up to no good, but a part of her still wanted to believe that everything he said was true. Her female intuition was screaming that he was with another woman. The question was, who?

“Do you see his car anywhere?” Tee-Tee interrupted her thoughts.

Gray examined the row of cars that lined the street in front of the club. If Gunz was there, he would most definitely be parked near the door. Sure enough, his Aston Martin was right up front.

“Yeah, I see it.” Her nostrils flared.

“Text him and see if he'll reply back,” Tee-Tee suggested.

Gray pulled out her iPhone and texted: So you really not gon' answer none of my calls? It's like that now? After everything we said.

For the next couple of minutes, she sat and waited with bated breath, hoping that Gunz would realize how much his sudden change in demeanor was hurting her and call back. If things were a wrap, he could just say that. There was no need for him to hold up traffic. If he wanted to step, Gray was more than willing to give him the green light so his ass could go. She could easily find someone else.

Gray was so into her feelings that she didn't even realize that Tee-Tee had been calling her name.

“Gray?” He nudged her.

“Huh,” she answered, coming back to reality.

“It's about to be a ‘code ten, man down' situation. Ain't that him over there?” He pointed.

Gray's heart stopped mid-beat. Tears welled in her eyes to the point she couldn't see. What she saw couldn't be happening. It all had to be an illusion. Gunz wasn't walking with a huge smile on his face, hand in hand with Devin. And he most definitely wasn't opening the door for her ass. He said she was old news, a thing of the past, so why in the fuck was they together?

Gray was the one who listened about his hopes and dreams. She stayed up with him when he couldn't sleep at night. She sucked his dick until her jaw hurt. She cooked, cleaned, and washed his clothes when he wasn't even technically her man. She bent over backwards to make sure he was happy. She put him before everything, including her career, so why at that moment, instead of being with Gray, was he with her?

She couldn't understand it. Had she been getting on his nerves? Did she demand too much of his time? Was the pressure of knowing she wanted him as her man and not her friend too much stress? Gray came to the conclusion that what she was envisioning was all an evil dream; any minute she was gonna wake up. But time kept on ticking away and the pain in her chest was spreading like wildfire. A part of her wasn't surprised by his actions, but the part of her that believed he cared felt betrayed.

“All I got to say is you bet not cry. You better not let a muthafuckin' tear drop. You feel me? Fuck him!” Tee-Tee wagged his index finger in the air.

For once Tee-Tee was right. There would be no crying, at least not yet.

“Fuck this.” She unlocked and opened the door.

“That's right, girl! Go shut that shit down! Represent yo' clique!”

With each step Gray took, it was a struggle for her to breathe. The closer she got to Gunz, the more faint she felt. She didn't know what she was gonna say or how she was gonna say it. Maybe she wouldn't have to say anything at all. Maybe the distressed expression on her face would say everything.

“Gunz,” she called out as he gave a pound to one of his homeboys.

Shocked to hear her voice, he spun around.

“So this why you couldn't come get me tonight?” She pointed in the car at Devin.

“What you doing here?” He looked bewildered and confused.

“What you mean, what am I doing here? I came to see what yo' lying ass was up to.”

“So you following me now?”

“Nigga, please. Don't flatter ya'self. But it's good. Now I know what's up.”

“You don't know shit.”

“I know I gave up a trip to Paris to be here with you, but instead you wit' another chick.”

“Baby, you ready?” Devin asked, opening the passenger side door.

“Chill out,” he spoke sternly, closing the door in her face.

“Don't be actin' brand new now. You ain't got to be rude to her on my account. Just a minute ago y'all was hand in hand, all lovey-dovey and shit.”

“Quit actin' fuckin' stupid.” He grabbed Gray by the arms and pushed her away from the crowd.

“Let me go! We ain't got shit to talk about. Everything I needed to know is right in front of my face, so like I said, it's good. Go 'head! Take her home, fuck until her pussy gets sore! As a matter of fact, cum for me twice! I don't give a fuck!”

“You don't mean that,” Gunz said, fearful that he might've lost her for good.

“What the fuck you think this is, a game?
I'm done fuckin' wit' you
.”

“Look, man, just go home. I'll be there in a minute, a'ight.”

“You'll be there in a minute? Nigga, have you lost your fuckin' mind? Are you clueless? You come anywhere near my house and I'ma call the police! Get it through your head: I'm . . . through . . . fuckin' . . . wit' . . . you.” Gray tried to break loose.

“Will you let me explain?”

“No. Let me go!” She snatched her arms away.

“Man, calm the fuck down.” He yanked her by the arm.

“Uh-uh, nigga, don't get stupid.” Tee-Tee jumped out of the car.

“I ain't tryin' to disrespect yo' peoples, but you better tell this muthafucka to fall back.”

“Muthafucka? I ain't no muthafucka! It's Miss T if ya nasty!” Tee-Tee waved his index finger in the air.

“Real talk, get yo' boy.”

“I ain't got to get shit! Now let me go,” Gray screamed, breaking loose from him again. This time, she swung her arm so forcefully that Bishop's watch slipped off and fell to the ground, causing the face to crack. For a second, they both looked at it in awe.

“That was an accident.”

“Don't say shit to me.” He picked up the watch and placed it in his pocket.

“You know good and well I didn't do that on purpose.”

“What the fuck I just say? Don't say shit to me.” His chest heaved up and down.

“So now you got an attitude?” Gray shot him a look.

“What the fuck ever, Gray.” Gunz was heated. So much anger consumed him that he couldn't see straight. He wanted to choke the shit out of her. Gunz could literally see her face turning blue. If he didn't leave at that very second, he was sure to kill her. Swallowing the desire, Gunz walked over to his car and got in without uttering another word.

 

Death loomed around Gray. She could feel it. A part of her had died. The whole ride home, she'd suppressed her tears, even though they begged to fall. She felt like a fool. How could she be so stupid to think Gunz wouldn't be like all the rest? She was so dumb to think they could be more than what they were. And how silly of her to think he could be everything she needed.

It seemed like it took forever to get home, but as soon as her key entered the lock and she stepped across the threshold, the tears that choked her throat spilled out through her eyes. The ache in her chest was torturing. Gray just wanted it all to go away. If she could rewind time, she would go back to the day they met and walk away.

She detested the fact that her friends were right about him. Why hadn't she listened? Was she so blinded by his good looks and big dick that nothing else mattered? Had all of Gray's common sense gone out of the window? Before him, she stood tall. She had a mind all her own. Now, here she was once again, torn into pieces. Gray was sick of being led on and let down. All of her life, men had swallowed her up then spit her out at their own convenience, and she sat back and took it.

Before Gunz, she vowed to never be another man's doormat. The first sign of bullshit and she was out. With him, she ignored every sign. She should've known he was trifling when his word didn't live up to his actions, but no, Gray being the lovesick puppy she was, looked past it. The hell with that. She deserved better, and better was what she was gonna get. Being with someone should never be as difficult as it was being with Gunz.

Little by little, Gray picked herself up off the floor. Nothing would improve her situation but lying in her bed underneath the covers. Just as she was about to make her way upstairs, her bell rang. It was Gunz. He was never gonna let things end the way they had. Whether he was right or wrong, if he thought something else needed to be said, it would be. Gray reluctantly went over to the door and let him up.

Gunz had rehearsed every word down to “baby, I'm sorry” down to a T, but as soon as he came face to face with Gray's tear-stained face, all of that went out the window. There were no more games to play. Now was the time to lay everything on the line.

“What do you want?” she asked, holding on to the doorknob. Gray couldn't even look him in the face.

“I just wanna explain.”

“There ain't nothing to explain. All that shit you said was a fuckin' lie. You said you wasn't gon' lie to me, you wasn't gon' hurt me, and that you was gon' be honest wit' me, but you's a fuckin' fake! I told you if you wanted to see other people let me know, and you looked me dead in the eye and said you would. But nah, fuck that. My feelings don't count.”She finally glared at him. “What was all that shit about? I mean . . . did you even fuckin' care for me at all?”

“Of course I did. I do. You know that.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know that when you constantly hurtin' me? From day one you been playin' games.”

“It ain't like that. I care about you. You know that.”

“You care about me?” Gray looked at him, disgusted. “Well, isn't that original.”

“Can I come in?”

“Why not?” She stepped back so he could enter. Gray closed the door behind them.

“Listen, baby.” Gunz took her hands.

“Uh-uh. Get ya hands off me.” She snatched her hands away and gave him a warning glare.

“I'm sorry.”

“No, you're not. You're only sorry you got caught.”