Guardian of Eden (14 page)

“Mother,” I said trying to remain calm, “I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“You don’t see what the big deal is? It’s…it’s a school night and you’re…way past…curfew.”

“Curfew?”
I couldn’t believe she was upset with me for staying out late after the countless times she never came home at all leaving me to care for an infant child. I felt the sudden urge to remind her of this.

 
“Curfew?
I’m surprised you know what that word means. Which of your boyfriends taught it to you?” I immediately regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. It was a hurtful thing to say. But, a part of me felt she deserved it. Where did she get the right to suddenly be concerned about my safety after so many years of neglect and abuse?

I glanced over at
Maddie
. She wore a look of shock and confusion on her face as she slipped on my shirt to cover her glorious nudity. I felt the need to apologize, not for my mother’s sake, but for
Maddie’s
. I didn’t want her to think of me as some sort of callous monster.

“I’m sorry, mother.” She didn’t respond. I think I really hurt her this time. “Mother, are you there?”

“You…um…you have an appointment with Richard in the morning. I’ll call the school…and let them know you won’t be in.” She hung up.

I closed the phone and set it on the night stand.

“Wow, Garrett, that was pretty harsh,”
Maddie
said as she approached me and stroked my hair. I wrapped my legs around her and held her waist. “I think maybe I bring out the worst in you. First, you break a standing date with your sister, now you’re getting into fights with your mother. Maybe I’m not so good for you. I feel like I’m taking you away from your family.”
Maddie
tilted her head down hiding her beautiful eyes from me.

“Are you kidding me? You’re the best thing to ever happen to me.” I lifted her chin and kissed her lips. “Eden and I are fine. We’re spending the day together on Sunday. As for my mother…we have…an unusual relationship. I know what I said was cruel.” Shamed by the guilt, I looked down. “Sometimes, I’m not a nice person,
Maddie
. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just hope that once you get to know me better, you don’t regret –”

 She silenced the thought with a kiss.

“I may never know everything that you’ve been through. But I do know that you’re a wonderful person with a delicate and loving soul. I will never regret being with you.”

 
Early the next morning, I eased myself out of bed, careful not to wake
Maddie
then padded off to the kitchen. I wanted to surprise her with a nice breakfast. I was a pretty good cook for a teenage boy. I had a lot of practice due to the countless times I had to cook for me and Eden. And in those days, I had a lot less with which to work. I remember having to stretch miniscule amounts of food for weeks. Somehow, I made it work.

Maddie’s
kitchen, however, overflowed with food. I finished making the pancakes, ham and cheese omelets, and breakfast potatoes just as she emerged from the bedroom.

“Oh my God it smells good in here,” she said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“I made you breakfast.” I kissed the side of her head and handed her a glass of orange juice.

“That’s so sweet, Garrett.”
Maddie
took a sip of the juice then started arranging some prescription bottles on the counter. She opened one, shook out a couple of pills then swallowed them without even taking another sip of juice. I stared in awe as she repeated this process with bottle after bottle. “Please don’t stare at me. I already feel like enough of a freak.”

“That’s not why I’m staring. I don’t think you’re a freak.”

“You don’t?”

“No, I think you’re incredible. I can’t imagine what your life has been like.”

She smiled, “Really?”

“Yeah.
Do you want to tell me what the pills do?”

“Okay,” she said tucking an adorably messy curl behind her ear. “These four, I can take on an empty stomach. But these,” she said pointing to a group she had separated off to the left, “I have to take with food. So, it’s really great that you made breakfast for me. I usually just have a protein shake. Anyway, this one suppresses my immune system so that my body doesn’t reject the heart, these two protect against infection since I have a weakened immune system, these two are for my blood pressure, this one is another anti-rejection medication, these three are kind of like vitamins that just try to build me up since the other medications
kinda
break me down.” She paused to see if I was still listening.

“So you take nine pills every day?”

“Well, this month. Sometimes my doctor changes things up because something’s not working or he wants to try something new.”

“I can’t believe you do this every day.”

“It’s better than the alternative,” she said staring down at her feet.

I kissed her. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to imagine what my world would be like right now if she had died and I had never met her. I wanted to enjoy her, every part of her.
Her touch, her smell, her taste.

“Do we have time to…you know…before school?” I asked lowering her to the floor.

“Definitely.”

***

I walked
Maddie
to school then dashed to my appointment with Richard. I entered the waiting room just as Eden stepped out of his office.

“Hey, Bug. Where’s my hug?” I asked cheerfully. She didn’t leap into my arms as usual. Instead, she pouted her lips and stared at me.

“You didn’t come home last night.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve never done that before. I was scared.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you, Eden. I just…I-”

“Did you have sex?”

“What?” My voice resonated so loud and powerfully that Eden jumped back a little. I grabbed her elbow and pulled her into the hallway away from the shocked faces of the other patients in the waiting room. “Eden, where did you get an idea like that?”

“I asked Richard what he thought you were doing last night and that’s what he said.” Eden’s eyes watered as she twisted her beret around in her hands. “Did I do something bad?”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” I said hugging her as tears began to fall. “Don’t cry, Bug. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” I forced myself to remain calm and speak in a soothing voice though every part of me wanted to strangle Richard for having such an inappropriate conversation with my little sister. “Do you want to go for lunch when I’m done with my appointment?”

Eden wiped her tears away as she said, “I can’t. I’m going to school. I have a math test this afternoon. But we’re still on for Sunday, right?” She said smiling broadly. “Museum, lunch, and movie, right?
Just the two of us, right?”

“Of course.”
I kissed her cheek and hugged her just as my mother entered the building.

“You ready to go, Eden?” My mother asked, avoiding eye contact with me.

Eden cocked her head to the side and said, “Aren’t we
gonna
wait for Gary?”

“Garrett can apparently take care of himself.” She grabbed Eden’s hand, then looked into my eyes and added, “He doesn’t need me.”

 
My concern over Richard’s conversations with Eden trumped my worry over my mother’s words. By the time I stepped into Richard’s office, my anger had returned stamping out any thoughts of Holly.

“Why the hell are you talking to my sister about sex?” I said slamming the door behind me.

“Good morning, Garrett. It’s 9:23. You’re late.” Richard glanced at his watch pretending I didn’t scare him, but I saw the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. I definitely frightened him.

“I asked you a question.” I walked towards him and towered over his round body as he sat in his favorite wooden chair. He jolted out of his seat and made his way to his desk as he wiped his forehead with a handkerchief.

After he had the security of the desk between us he said, “What I discuss with Eden is protected by doctor patient privilege. I think you should just calm down and have a seat before I have to call your social worker. This behavior you’re exhibiting is disturbing and…and I feel you may be a danger to your family. You don’t want to go to another foster home, do you?”

Did he really think I was a danger? How could he possibly believe that after all I’ve done all my life to protect them? No, there was definitely another reason why he felt so threatened by me all of the sudden.

I stared at the large wet circles forming under his armpits. So much heat radiated from his face his glasses had started to fog.

When I didn’t move, he placed his hand over his phone. He was really going to make a phone call that would separate me from Eden. I couldn’t let that happen. I took a deep breath and sat down determined to study this man as closely as he had studied me for the past decade. Something wasn’t right with him. And if it had anything to do with my sister, he would regret the day he ever met me.

The appointment with Richard proved worthless as I spent the entire time studying his actions and facial expressions while providing sarcastic, succinct, or shrouded answers to his probing questions.

He wanted to know whether my disregard for my mother’s rules last night was a sign of things to come. Would I turn into the typical withdrawn and unruly teenager?

“Is that what you would prefer, Richard?” I asked, answering his question with one of my own. “Would that make you more comfortable to know exactly where I fit?
To label me with some sort of textbook diagnosis?”

“Why are you always so…,” Richard paused as he searched for the right word. I decided to help him out.

“Caustic, argumentative, obstinate, recalcitrant?”

“I was going to say difficult or defensive, but yes, all those adjectives fit as well.”

I stared into his eyes with a cold glare. I thought about the way he’d acted toward me just minutes ago and said, “I could ask the same question of you.”

He ended the session.

***

As I walked home from Richard’s office I noticed the dull gray sky. It was mid November and we were due for a snowstorm anytime. If Grandma Jean were alive, she’d be able to immediately tell me whether to expect bad weather.

“Storms a
comin
’,” she’d say.
“Feel it in m’ knees.”
Sure enough, later that day some sort of storm would pass through. I’d crawl into the rickety old rocking chair with her and wait out the rain, or snow, or hail, from the safety of her lap.