Great Sex, Naturally (32 page)

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Firefly Organics Intimate Botanical Moisturizing Crème.
An exceptional all-natural sexual lubricant made with food-grade plant ingredients, this product by Applied Organics contains sunflower-seed extract, canola-seed extract, cocoa butter, beeswax, shea butter, and vitamin E. It’s an emollient (it softens and soothes skin), has moisturizing properties, nourishes a woman’s delicate genital tissues, and can help with midlife vaginal dryness. It’s even waterproof (in case you plan to have underwater sex). The only drawback may be that it’s incompatible with latex condoms.

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Sliquid Organics Natural (water based).
The ingredients in this effective latex-friendly lubricant are water; plant cellulose from cotton; aloe; vitamin E; cyamopsis (guar conditioner); potassium sorbate; citric acid; and extracts of hibiscus, flax, alfalfa, green tea, and sunflower seed. The company also makes a lubricant called Organics Silk, but a number of its ingredients are listed by the EWG as potentially problematic, so this product is preferable.

Great Sex and Latex

We include “latex-friendly” as a criterion for a good sexual lubricant because condoms are commonly made of latex, but many people are unaware that some sexual lubricants can dissolve it, causing condoms to break apart during sex. Water-based lubricants are latex-friendly; oil-based lubricants aren’t. Whether you use latex condoms for safe sex (see
Appendix G
) or birth control (see
Appendix H
), it’s important to use latex-compatible lubricants.

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Yes Oil-Based Organic Lubricant.
This hypoallergenic lubricant is pH compatible with your own vaginal tissues, beneficial for your skin (so there’s no need to wash it off), and nonstaining. Its plant-based ingredients include organic cocoa butter, organic shea butter, two organic emollient oils (almond and sunflower oil), organic beeswax, and vitamin E. This is another good lubricant that’s not compatible with latex condoms.

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Yes Water-Based Organic Lubricant.
It’s unfortunate that Yes Water-Based Organic Lubricant, which is latex-friendly, contains phenoxyethanol (although its concentration is below one percent), because its other ingredients would make it a good choice: organic aloe, organic flax extract, three plant-based gums (guar, locust bean, and xanthan), citric acid, and potassium sorbate.

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Sylk Personal Lubricant.
Sylk Personal Lubricant, which has a pH of 4.7 (the approximate average pH of a woman’s vagina for most of the month), contains purified water, kiwi extract, vegetable glycerin, sodium citrate, xanthan gum, citric acid, potassium sorbate, citrus-seed extract, and grapefruit-seed extract (a possible skin irritant for some women). As mentioned earlier in this chapter, the glycerin may pose a problem; however, this is an all-natural, latex-friendly lubricant with no chemical additives or artificial preservatives.

Sex-Enhancing Household Lubricants

In a pinch—maybe the mood is just right, and your passion can’t wait—you may have several lubricants among the oils right in your pantry that can enhance sex or relieve vaginal dryness: olive oil, coconut oil, and cocoa butter are especially effective; and almond oil, vegetable oil, and other natural oils can also be used (although none are latex-friendly). Steer clear of egg whites or honey, even though they’re natural; egg whites can set off acute vaginal infections, and honey may cause vaginal yeast infections in women prone to them.

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Higher Nature V Gel Sexual Lubricant.
This nonstaining lubricant, safe if swallowed, is produced by Elixir Health. It contains organic aloe; purified water; glycerin; panthenol; kelgin (seaweed); comfrey; marigold; vitamins A, D, and E; zinc citrate; potassium sorbate; and the food-grade preservative sodium benzoate. As noted above, the glycerin may be of concern to some women, but otherwise this is an effective latex-friendly lubricant.

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Good Clean Love Almost Naked Personal Lubricant.
This lubricant seems healthy at first glance; it contains water, agar (seaweed), aloe-leaf juice, xanthan gum, lemon citrus, and vanilla fruit. However, it also contains lactoperoxidase (a synthetic enzyme), glycerin and glucose (which, as you’ve seen, may both be problematic for some women), benzoic acid (listed by the EWG as a moderate hazard with possible links to toxicity and skin irritation), and glucose oxidase. Since this product includes ingredients that may not be right for everyone, you might want to exercise some caution when using it.

Edible Lubricants

If you want the freedom to ingest your lubricants without worrying about their health effects, there are plenty of natural options available. Here are some edible lubricants you might find suitable to your taste. (Note: Only the last is latex-friendly.)

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Honey Girl Organics Personal Lubricant.
Made in Hawaii, this pure, simple lubricant can be used not only during sex but also at other times to keep your vulvar and vaginal tissues hydrated. It contains organic extra-virgin olive oil, water, organic beeswax, vitamin E, organic pollen, and organic propolis.

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Devour Me Lickable Oil.
This line of oils, made with sweet almond oil, is available in flavors that include Piña Colada, Strawberry Kiss, Cherries Jubilee, Chocolate Mint, and Cème Brûlée.

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Love Balm by Sensuous Beauty.
This ingestible balm is made from coconut oil; vitamin E oil; and essential oils of lavender, bergamot, and myrrh. Its long-lasting slippery sensation also makes it a good choice for full-body massages.

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Hathor Aphrodisia Lubricant Lickeurs.
Available in a variety of flavors—including Coconut Orange, Chocolate Strawberry, and Hazelnut Caramel—these organic, luscious lubricants contain no honey or glycerin (they’re stevia sweetened), so they don’t increase risk of yeast infections. The other ingredients are water, vegetable propylene glycol (which, as noted, may be irritating to some women), organic flavorings, acacia gum, vitamin C, jujube zizyphus, Siberian ginseng, and epimedium.

Extra-Stimulating Lubricants, Gels, and Creams

Unlike the lubricants we’ve explored thus far, these lubricants, lotions, gels, and creams have additional built-in pleasure-promoting properties. Some provide all the benefits of moistening lubricants, but go one step further by including ingredients designed to give you a “pleasure-plus” experience. Of all types of sexual enhancers and aphrodisiacs, these are among the most immediate in their effects. They can be gently massaged directly onto your clitoris and surrounding vulva before or during sex, and they may achieve the desired effect within minutes, or even seconds.

Many stimulating lubricants contain ingredients like niacin and L-arginine that enhance arousal by promoting blood flow to your delicate clitoral and vulvar tissues. Some contain other ingredients, such as cinnamon, which increases blood flow while also creating “warming” sensations, or menthol and peppermint, which have “warming yet cooling” effects. If you have untreated VAD, or any inflammation in your vaginal area, there’s a chance that some of these stimulating ingredients could be irritating. (And if you have genital herpes, L-arginine could make you more prone to outbreaks.)

All too often, stimulating lubricants, gels, and creams contain chemicals you’ll want to avoid. Let’s look at the pros and cons of some products on the market, and consider which are the most natural and safest for your sensitive genital tissues:

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Zestra.
A female arousal oil shown in studies to enhance sexual response, Zestra can also help provide moisture to your vulva and vagina. It contains borage-seed oil and evening-primrose oil, herbal extracts of angelica (known in Chinese medicine to increase circulation and flow of chi) and coleus forskholii (a smooth muscle relaxant), vitamins C and E, and theobromine (a chocolate-derived ingredient that may be a key to Zestra’s effectiveness). Zestra is available over-the-counter at many drugstores, but is not compatible with latex condoms.

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Vigorelle.
A high-quality natural enhancement gel, Vigorelle is edible, pH balanced, and latex-compatible. It has a minty smell, an olive squalene base, and a consistency similar to your body’s own natural lubrication. The ingredients include L-arginine; ginkgo biloba; wild yam; damiana; suma; peppermint; tea-tree oil; vitamins A, C, and E; hyaluronic acid; aloe; shea butter; and apricot-kernel oil. It also contains vegetable glycerin, which in some women could increase the potential for vaginal yeast (although the tea-tree oil might help prevent this), and a small amount of grapefruit-seed extract, which in sensitive women could be irritating. This product’s prohibitive price may be its biggest drawback.

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Blossom Organics Pure Pleasure Arousal Gel.
This water-based, latex-friendly gel contains barbadensis-leaf extract, hydroxyethyl cellulose, sorbitol, L-arginine, niacin, organic rose-hip oils, evening primrose, menthol, herbal extracts of peony and passionflower, and glycerin (which could contribute to yeast infections in susceptible women). The company also carries a warming oil that’s glycerin-and L-arginine-free—although not latex-friendly—containing many of the above ingredients in a base of sunflower, borage-seed, and linseed oils.

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Sliquid Organics Sensation.
An effective latex-compatible stimulating gel, Sliquid can also help soothe and hydrate your vaginal tissues. The ingredients include water; plant cellulose; aloe; vitamin E; guar conditioners; extracts of hibiscus, flax, alfalfa, green tea, and sunflower seed; menthol; potassium sorbate; and citric acid. (This company also makes a nonstimulating lubricant, Sliquid Organics Silk, that contains the silicone product dimethicone—not recommended for your vulva or vagina.)

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Oh! Warming Lubricant.
This stimulating gel by Emerita may seem healthy, but on closer inspection contains some ingredients of concern: propylene glycol (as previously indicated, a potential irritant), glycerin (which may increase likelihood of yeast infections in susceptible women), and honey (another yeast-infection concern). Its other ingredients include cinnamon, hydroxypropyl cellulose (an emulsifier, fairly benign in low doses), and lactic acid (rated as a moderate hazard by the EWG, and a possible skin irritant for some women). This product may be particularly irritating if you have VAD or your vaginal tissues are sensitive due to low estrogen during midlife. Despite the potential drawbacks, however, some women regularly use this product without problems and find it effective.

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Response Topical Sexual Arousal Cream.
This is another Emerita product that looks good at first glance but includes a few ingredients you may want to avoid: glycerin (again, a potential problem for some women), sucrose (a sugar that can increase likelihood of yeast infections in susceptible women), and phenoxyethanol, which as you’ve seen may pose problems. It also contains rosemary, cinnamon, menthol, niacin, amino acids, and other natural ingredients.

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Valentra.
This mostly natural, water-based, condom-friendly cream unfortunately contains dimethicone, a silicone-based compound rated by the EWG as a moderate hazard with possible links to toxicity, and which some data suggest shouldn’t be used long-term on your delicate genital tissues. It also contains vegetable glycerin, which could increase the potential for vaginal infections in some women. Other ingredients include L-arginine, vegetable squalene, wild yam, organic aloe, gotu kola, ginseng, damiana, Saint-John’s-wort, soy lecithin, vitamins A and D
₃
, peppermint oil, and organic oils of rose hip and evening primrose.

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Intimate Organics.
Although this company offers a number of products that appear healthy and environmentally friendly—they’re made with many organic ingredients, are 100 percent vegan, and are free of many undesirable chemicals—they also contain phenoxyethanol and a few other potentially problematic ingredients.

Enhancing Sex with Erotic Stimulators

Research suggests that more than half of women use vibrators for sexual stimulation at some time in their lives. If you decide you want to do so, there are all kinds of options on the market to explore—from sleek to multipurpose, and from remote-controlled to waterproof. There are devices specifically designed to stimulate your G-spot, and others conceived for your clitoris. Some women may find that G-spot-stimulating vibrators increase their ability to experience ejaculatory orgasms, as described earlier in this book.

One company that offers a variety of vibrators you may find appealing is Natural Contours Intimate Massagers. If you’re interested in a more inventive twist, consider the Better Than Chocolate OhMiBod waterproof wireless music vibrator, which connects with your iPod to vibrate in sync with your favorite music (and to the tune of about $100). If you’re in the market for something much more exclusive, there’s the Yva—an 18-karat gold designer vibrator by the Swedish company Lelo, with a $1,500 price tag.