Great Sex, Naturally (14 page)

You can do Kegels slowly, which develops your slow-twitch muscle fibers, builds your strength and stamina, and promotes your overall pelvic-muscle tone. You can also do them rapidly, which fortifies your fast-twitch fibers. The best results are usually achieved by combining the slow and fast techniques, with more emphasis on the slow.

To do a Kegel, you tighten the muscles you would use if you were trying to stop your flow of urine. (If necessary, try this while urinating; you won’t want to do it often, but experimenting a few times will acquaint you with the muscles you need to use, and what it feels like to contract them.) You’re ready to begin doing Kegels when you’ve learned to contract and relax these muscles.

For starters, here’s a simple Kegel routine you can try: do fast Kegels for two seconds, rest for two seconds, and repeat eight to ten times; then do a slow Kegel that lasts for ten seconds, relax for ten seconds, and repeat eight to ten times. You can do this routine several times a day at your convenience. One of the beauties of Kegels is that they can be done in practically any position—sitting, standing, or lying down—so you can privately practice your “sex flex” almost anytime and anywhere. You can do your Kegels while waiting in line at the store, sitting on a plane, or stuck in traffic. Stoplights were made for them!

Keep practicing this basic routine, and you’ll become a proficient Kegeler before you know it. Later in this book, we’ll explore some exciting advanced techniques that incorporate the use of special cones and weighted devices known as Ben Wa balls, which were first developed in ancient China.

Most women have little trouble mastering Kegels, but some find it difficult to identify and flex their PC muscle. If you’re in this category, the guidance of a physical therapist trained in biofeedback to promote PC-muscle strength can be enormously helpful. A biofeedback probe inserted into your vagina allows you to gauge the duration and strength of your PC contractions. (You can also purchase at-home biofeedback devices, such as the Pelvic Muscle Therapy Program, for under $50.) If you experience spasms or difficulty releasing your inner pelvic muscles, devices known as
vaginal dilators
, available online or through your physical therapist, can help.

Enhancing Your Sexuality by Solving Common Pelvic Problems

You may need to enhance your experience of sex because of a particular health challenge you face with your pelvis or sexual organs. If you’ve had trouble enjoying sexual pleasure or achieving an orgasm, either by yourself or with a partner, you’re not alone; thousands of women have similar experiences. The good news is that you can overcome many common pelvic-and sexual-health issues, and it can be extremely empowering to discover that you can increase your own capacity for sexual gratification via natural means.

Problems that interfere with sexual enjoyment can have both psychological and physical causes. The psychological causes include untreated anxiety and depression, chronic long-term stress, a history of sexual abuse or trauma, issues pertaining to body image, and self-esteem issues. Women who fear intimacy, or don’t trust their partner enough to release control and allow themselves to have an orgasm, are more prone to sexual difficulties and less likely to experience pleasure in a relationship.

If you have sexual challenges with psychological causes, whatever the issue may be, a therapist can help you uncover patterns in your behavior that may be blocking you from your natural ability to experience sexual satisfaction. With time, you can work through inhibitions you may have about sex.

The physical causes of an unsatisfactory sex life can include painful menstrual cramps; chronic pelvic infections known as
vaginitis;
vaginal atrophy and dryness (the decrease in size, reduced elasticity, thinning, or increased fragility of tissue that often happens in midlife); urinary incontinence; urinary tract infections; interstitial cystitis; ovarian disorders such as benign cysts or polycystic ovarian syndrome; cervical dysplasia; chronic pelvic pain; and hormone imbalances (which we’ll explore in detail in the next chapter). Some prescription medications, such as antidepressants, blood-pressure medications, and antihistamines, can also decrease your libido and inhibit orgasm.

If you have a condition that prevents you from fully enjoying sex, remember that you are your own expert on your sexuality—the only person with direct experience of your body, mind, and spirit, and intimate knowledge of your entire personal history—and that you can resolve many common problems of the pelvis and sexual organs without drugs or medical intervention. In the pages ahead, you’ll discover numerous ways you can enhance your capacity for pleasure with safe, natural self-help solutions to the sexual-health challenges you’re most likely to face.

Enabling Pleasure: Getting Past Painful Menstrual Cramps

You may be surprised to discover that you don’t necessarily have to live through painful menstrual cramping every month. One of the great myths about women’s health in conventional medicine is that menstrual cramps are inevitable—and that it’s perfectly acceptable to take anti-inflammatory drugs or over-the-counter medications like Midol every month to treat the symptoms. By challenging this view and using natural means to alleviate menstrual cramps, you stand a good chance of having pain-free periods—and a time of month you may have once written off as invariably uncomfortable can instead become an opportunity for more pleasurable pursuits.

If you have painful menstruation, or
dysmenorrhea
, you know it usually happens during the first two to three days of your period. The cramping you experience may be partly due to changes in your hormones and your body’s production of “unfriendly” prostaglandins (hormone-like substances). Some women have painful menstrual cramping because of unusual conditions such as pelvic inflammatory disease, uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts, or other health issues. If you’re not in this category and your cramping is “normal,” the following natural methods are likely to significantly reduce or eliminate your discomfort:

—
Western herbs.
Ginger and cramp bark (also known by its botanical name,
Viburnum opulus
) are among the best Western herbs for decreasing menstrual pain. Ginger is most effective as a tea; to relieve cramping, drink three or four cups a day, beginning when your period starts and continuing as needed. Cramp-bark capsules are available in many health-food stores; the recommended dose is 300 mg three times daily.

—
Chinese herbal formulas.
According to Chinese medicine, menstrual cramps are typically caused by “chi and blood stagnation,” which is associated with feelings of stress and frustration. One of the best-known formulas for the condition, Xiao Yao Wan (also known as
Free and Easy Wanderer
), is available at some health-food stores and online; for dosage, follow the recommendations on the product label.

—
Omega-3 fatty acids.
Omega-3 fatty acids can relieve menstrual cramps by helping your body make more “friendly” prostaglandins that reduce pain and inflammation. They are found in fish oil, flax oil, and walnuts.

—
Magnesium citrate.
For many women, this is a reliable treatment for menstrual cramps. The most effective dose is 600 mg taken a few days before the onset of your period, and continued through the first three days of your period. (Note: Excessive magnesium intake can cause diarrhea.)

—
Other supplements.
To help keep the cramping away, make sure you’re also getting 400 IU of vitamin E and 1,000 mg of calcium every day.

—
Exercise.
There’s conflicting research on whether exercise helps reduce menstrual pain, but anecdotal evidence strongly suggests that it can. For many women, a workout a day keeps the cramping away! From the Chinese medical perspective, exercise may resolve menstrual cramps by increasing the circulation of chi in your pelvis and preventing stagnation. You may want to try different kinds of exercise before and during your period to see what works best for you.

—
Acupressure.
You can also use acupressure to relieve menstrual cramps. At the onset of cramping, you or your partner can press gently on the point known as
Spleen 6
and hold for one to three minutes, at least once per hour as needed. To locate this point on your body, see
Appendix A
.

—
Regular sex.
For some women, having sex regularly during the rest of the month (when they’re not menstruating) can help alleviate menstrual cramps.

Natural Sex-Enhancing Treatments for Vaginitis

If you have vaginitis, or an inflammation or infection of your vagina, it can seriously interfere with your sex life. Chronic vaginal infections, which are among the most common sexual-health challenges women experience, are often accompanied by pain and itching in both the vagina and vulva. In some cases, there may be only irritation at the vaginal opening; in others, there may also be a vaginal discharge. Overcoming this condition can be extremely liberating, and dramatically enhance your sexuality.

Your vagina has its own dynamic ecology that’s influenced by your lifestyle, diet, immune system, hormones, and other factors. Various microorganisms inhabit your vagina, including both “friendly” and “unfriendly” bacteria and yeast. When you’re healthy, your vagina is naturally self-cleansing and self-regulating; your friendly bacteria hold the unfriendly bacteria and yeast at bay and help keep your vaginal pH (its degree of acidity or alkalinity) at a level that assists in preventing infections.

If you have vaginitis, it’s most likely due to an overgrowth of unfriendly bacteria or yeast. This can happen if you disrupt your vaginal balance by consuming too much sugar or taking too many antibiotics. Unnecessary douching to diminish so-called feminine odors can also make your vagina more vulnerable to infections. In addition, vaginitis can be caused by too much of a good thing: frequent sex can change the pH of your vaginal environment and allow unfriendly bacteria to thrive, because the pH of semen is more alkaline than that of your vagina.

To identify the cause of vaginitis, you need to see a physician for an accurate diagnosis. Although usually the result of an overgrowth of unfriendly bacteria or yeast, it can also be due to a sexually transmitted infection such as trichomoniasis, which is caused by a microscopic parasite. If you have trichomoniasis, you’ll need to take an antibiotic, and your partner will as well.

Many conventional physicians, unaware that you can treat and prevent vaginitis caused by unfriendly bacteria or yeast with natural methods, are far too quick to prescribe drugs that can be counterproductive and further disrupt your vaginal balance. For example, women are frequently prescribed antibiotics for bacterial infections in the vagina, but this often destroys not only the unfriendly bacteria that caused the infection but also the friendly bacteria that could have prevented it from recurring. Antibiotics may seem like a short-term fix, but they often contribute to infections returning.

To treat vaginitis due to unfriendly bacteria or yeast, you want to use natural treatments whenever possible and lifestyle changes that affect your entire body, not just your vagina. If you have chronic vaginitis due to yeast, for instance, you should eat a diet low in sugar, alcohol, and refined carbohydrates. You should also make lifestyle changes such as removing a wet bathing suit soon after swimming (leaving it on could make you more prone to vaginal yeast infection), and avoiding clothing that fits tightly around your lower pelvis; one study showed that you can be three times more likely to experience vaginitis if you wear panty hose.

Let’s look at the most effective natural methods you can use to treat vaginitis caused by overgrowth of unfriendly bacteria or yeast:

—
Vaginal douche powder.
One of the best natural medicines I’ve prescribed for vaginal bacterial and yeast imbalances is a vaginal douche powder called Tanafem (to obtain it, see
Appendix C
) consisting of zinc tannates and glycine. It eradicates bacteria and yeast by dehydrating them, and you can get rid of most infections by using it twice daily for a week. Soothing and nonirritating, it can even be applied to reddened, highly inflamed tissues. Mix one scoop in a pint-size douche bag filled with warm water, and douche twice daily for five to ten days, depending on the severity of the infection.

Using vaginal douche powder in conjunction with a sitz bath can help alleviate any external irritation you may have. (A
sitz bath
is a German term for sitting in a bowl of water to heal and nurture the tissues of the pelvis, or to increase circulation through the pelvis. Many irritations of the vulva can be treated with sitz baths.) Mix one scoop of the powder with warm water in a pan large enough for you to be seated comfortably; place the pan on the floor, and soak your vulva in this bath for 10 to 20 minutes twice a day for five to ten days, depending on the degree of inflammation. (Note: The rust-colored powder may permanently stain the pan, towels, and bath mats.)

—
Tea-tree oil.
An effective treatment for overgrowth of unfriendly bacteria or yeast, tea-tree oil can be used either as a douche or in the form of vaginal suppositories. (If your vagina is inflamed to the point of being “raw” and red, tea-tree oil shouldn’t be used, as it could be irritating.) For douching, mix ten drops of oil in a pint of warm water and douche; do this twice daily for seven to ten days. For suppositories, place one tea-tree oil suppository in your vagina twice a day for seven to ten days. You may want to wear a menstrual pad, as the oil from the suppositories can leak out.

You can purchase tea-tree-oil vaginal suppositories online or at your local natural-health pharmacy. They’re typically made with cocoa butter or vitamin E, which can be soothing to your vaginal mucosa—your vagina’s protective outer layer of moist tissue. Keep them on hand, and use one whenever you feel the beginning of a vaginal infection; this can nip it in the bud, preventing full-blown vaginitis.