Gravity (Free Falling) (8 page)

“Good.  Meet me at my car after school lets out.  If I’m gonna go, I have to leave quick before my coach catches me.” 
Great.  Now on top of having to come up with a lie to tell Antonio, I had to blow him off quickly or forfeit my time with AJ.

“I’ll be there,” I promised.  Our pace was steady as we climbed the stairs side by side.  I made sure to keep enough space between us
so that, to everyone else, it wouldn’t look like AJ and I knew each other at all.  I spotted Megan down the hall and tensed up a little, and unfortunately, AJ detected it.

“You
do
know we’re not doing anything wrong right now, don’t you?”  He asked condescendingly.

“Maybe not right now, but we’re definitely not supposed to be doing…..whatever it is we’re doing,” I replied, folding my arms across my chest as I walked.

At Ms. Jamison’s doorway, I hesitated and let AJ walk in before me just in case Leslie was watching.  He and I both took our seats and I sat there, still as ever with my hands folded and planted on top of my desk as I tried in vain to focus on something other than AJ.  It was strange to think how I’d sat beside him in this class for more than a month and never even took a second look.  I never would’ve thought that someone like him would even consider someone like me.  That’s not to say that I’m not a force to be reckoned with, but there’s a separation among races that isn’t often spoken of.  When I think of what specific men look for in a woman, to me, those preferences are influenced greatly by that man’s race.  For instance, as a general rule, most African-American men look for a woman with a little meat on her bones; kinda like me.  White guys like their women bone-thin and top heavy.  A “brotha” could generally care less if his woman had breasts or not as long as she looks like she was hauling freight behind her.  When I think of Asian men, I picture them with Asian women.  Period.  Mainly because that’s how I always see it.  So, it’s possible that I never picked AJ up on my radar for the simple fact that I wouldn’t have thought he’d reciprocate my interest.

Unable to help myself, I stole a glance at him when Ms. Jamison instructed the class to turn to page 109 to read a passage
.  I smiled and quickly looked down at my book when I realized that he was already watching me……and so was Leslie.  I shot her a tight smile and tried to pretend as though nothing had changed.  But that was a far cry from the truth. 
Everything
had changed.  How could I be so into Antonio just a few short days ago, and now preparing to break a date with him for another guy?  It just didn’t seem possible that someone’s feelings could get so mixed up so quickly, but I was living proof that it could happen. 

The end of the day came much more quickly than I’d prepared myself for.  It was time to tell Antonio whatever I had to in order to ditch him and do what my heart was telling me to do.  He was daydreaming while watching me approach my locker where he always waited at the end of the day.  This wasn’t going to be easy, but I was surprisingly sure that I wanted to go through with it; the only problem was getting
away
with it. 

“Ready?”  He asked.

I almost lost my nerve…..
almost
.  “Actually, I’m gonna have to take a rain-check.  Cramps,” I said and then pointed to my stomach.  “I think I’m gonna head home and lay down until it passes.”  I hated the sound of a lie leaving my mouth.  Antonio leaned his head to the side and looked me up and down with scrutiny; almost like he wasn’t sure if he believed me or not.  I had to make it more convincing. “I think that may have had something to do with me feeling so bad yesterday.”

He sighed and gave in to disappointment. 
“Alright.  Maybe I’ll see if Brian’s busy.  He’ll probably wanna go.”

“Ok
ay, I’ll text you later if I feel up to it,” I replied and then checked the time on my phone before stuffing my bag in my locker and grabbing my purse and keys from the hook.

“I’ll still walk you to your car,” he insisted.

With a forced smile, I replied.  “Okay.”  This wasn’t good.  AJ would be waiting on me and if I didn’t get to him soon, he’d either have to leave without me or he’d think I was chickening out and would just go to practice.  I had to think quickly, so I took out my phone and sent him a message to just meet me at my house.  That was smarter anyway just in case Antonio decided to go all Sherlock Holmes and ride past my house later to see if I was telling the truth. 

We stood beside my Civic for a moment and I couldn’t really see A.J’s car where it was parked anymore because the lot had filled up since the morning.  It crossed my mind that Antonio might try to say his goodbyes with another kiss and I couldn’t risk it.

“I’m feeling really bad.  I’m gonna take off,” I said.  After a brief hug I hopped in the car and felt my chest heaving from stress.  Antonio stood beside my car looking lost for the few seconds it took me to start the engine and back out.  From the rearview mirror, I could still see him standing there when I pulled out into the street. 

Nothing I was doing or thinking was like me.  I’d completely put my moral values aside to play around with the idea of getting to know
AJ a little better. 
Is it worth it?  Is it worth losing Antonio?
 
Next week, will AJ even remember my name, or is he the type to jump from one girl to the next like Antonio used to do before we hooked up?
  It would almost serve me right to hurt a good guy who changed his ways for me and then be taken advantage of by someone who was just like Antonio
used
to be.  How ironic would it be for me to tame one lion only to be devoured by another?  The sad thing is: it was too late.  I’d already lied to Antonio and started on the path that led to AJ.

When I pulled into my driveway, he was driving up behind me.  Quickly shutting
the door, I walked swiftly to AJ’s car and climbed in and immediately began looking around at all the extras he’d added to it; he definitely had money to throw around.  My attention was averted from all the gadgets when I laid eyes on him. 

“Anywhere in particular you
wanna go?”  He asked.

I shook my head. 
“No, not really.”  All I really wanted was to be next to him, but there wasn’t any way I’d ever say that out loud. 

“Then we’ll just drive,” he said and backed away from my house.  The breeze was blowing through my window, causing me to close my eyes.  I felt more relaxed
around him now outside of school.  There wasn’t much of a reason to worry about anyone seeing us and thinking anything.

The sound of
AJ yawning made me face him and reopen my eyes.  “Tired?”

“Just a little.
  I didn’t get much sleep last night,” he replied.

“Wh
y not?  What was wrong?” 

He smiled.  “Nothing was
wrong
….…I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.” 

That was the exact moment that he stole Antonio’s butterflies.  The same familiar feeling now perked up when I heard
AJ’s words.

“I was thinking about you too,” I admitted shyly. 
“A
lot
.”  That made him smile as he looked onward at the road ahead.

“Is tha
t why you wouldn’t kiss him earlier?”  AJ asked cockily.

“Y
ou saw that.”  He’d confirmed my suspicions.

“Made my day actually,” he replied.  “How’d he handle the rejection?”

“I caught him off guard, but I made something up about being sick and not wanting to pass it to him.  The same thing I told him to make sure he didn’t try to come by yesterday.”

“Did you two have plans?” 
AJ asked, turning to look at me briefly. 

“No, not yesterday.
  He just called when you were on your way and I told him I didn’t feel well and he bought it.”  I paused.  “We were actually supposed to go to the mall this afternoon, though…..but I wanted to be here instead.”

AJ
seemed to play it cool most of the time, but that made him grin harder than I think he intended to.  “What’d you tell him
this
time?”

“Cramps.
  That was all he had to hear.  He basically said it was cool and walked me to my car.”

AJ
laughed.  “So, that’s like ten lies in one day.  Sounds like somebody has a bad habit.”

I looked at him and then down at my feet.  “Not until lately.”  He looked at me again, but didn’t say anything.  I think he understood that I was only being so dishonest because that was the only way I could be with him.  He was righ
t; lying is a terrible habit, but getting him out of my system would be a much bigger problem than telling the truth.

We pulled up t
o a gas station.  “Want anything?”  He asked

“No, I’m fine.  Thanks.”  I watched him go inside and disappear behind a shelf.  With him gone, I had a chance to think and regroup.  Whenever he’s around, my mind goes haywire and I couldn’t seem to get my brain to work right.  It was still unclear to me what I was doing, but I now knew that the crush I’d questioned myself about the day before was in full effect.  There was no sense in denying it because I had it bad.  I was about two seconds from scribbling his name all over my notebook and seeing how my first name looked beside his last name.  As juvenile as that sounds, it was just that crucial. 

I straightened up when I saw him coming back to the car with a bag full of stuff, and a large bottle of juice tucked under his arm.  Before he got to the car, I leaned over and opened his door since his hands were full.  “Did you buy the whole store?”  I asked.

“Nope, just some snacks.”  He reached into the bag, grabbed what looked like a family sized pack of Twix and opened it.  I watched him shove one in his mouth and was honestly shocked that someone with a body like his had ever eaten something so unhealthy.  “Want one?”  He asked. 

“No, thanks.” 

AJ
laughed and shook his head.  “Why do girls do that?”

“Do what?”

“Get around guys and pretend that they don’t eat anything.  If you’re hungry…just eat,” he said and shrugged his shoulders as he ate another.  “Here try one.  They’re good.”  Before I could protest, he held one to my lips and force fed me while smiling.  I rolled my eyes at him and chewed grudgingly.  There was chocolate all over my lips and a string of caramel stretching from my lip to my chin.  I couldn’t have been more embarrassed.

AJ
smiled and licked his lips as he finished his last piece.  His eyes were glued to my mouth and I just knew he was looking at my messy face.  I had no tissue and chances are he didn’t have any in his car either; most guys don’t.  When AJ first reached toward me, I thought he was going for the glove compartment, but I was wrong –
very
wrong.  He touched my lip and swiped the strand of caramel from it and then sucked it from his finger while watching my reaction.  My mouth forgot how to chew.  Instead, I sat there with a mouthful of Twix, staring at him.  All traces of embarrassment faded.

I was beginning to read AJ’s signals loud and clear.  It felt like it became swelteringly hot inside the car all of a sudden. 
“Why is it so warm in here?”  I asked, struggling to find the switch to roll my window down further.

AJ
smiled and threw the car into drive and left the gas station.  We drove straight down the same road we’d started on and didn’t worry about where we’d end up.  “Do you need to call and tell your parents anything?”  He asked.

I checked the time.  “No.  As long as I get home by like seven, they probably won’t question me.  What about you?”  I asked.  “Do you need to check in or something?”

“Nope.  I’m on
your
schedule.” He was so nonchalant.  I relaxed in my seat again and watched him frequently from the corner of my eye.  We approached a yellow light and AJ put his foot on the brake abruptly, deciding at the last minute to stop; probably only because I was with him.  The bottle of juice he’d bought rolled to the floor, causing both of us to reach for it and narrowly escape a collision like the one we’d had in Government the Friday before.  We both stopped just short bumping heads and stared at one another.  My fingers grazed the side of the bottle, but I couldn’t move to pull it up.  My mouth couldn’t have been more than an inch away from his and I was spellbound.  Our eyes were locked on one another and I felt warm air steadily caressing my bottom lip as it escaped AJ’s lungs.  Slowly, his gaze dropped to my mouth and I felt it coming.  He wanted it.  I wanted it. The need to kiss him was so strong in that instant.

It didn’t take me long to completely forget about Antonio and come to the conclusion that I w
as about to let this happen.  AJ moved toward me ever so slightly when he decided to make a move.  Subconsciously, I closed my eyes and prepared myself and my heart for what was about to take place, licking my lips just before we would make contact.  My fingers and toes began to tingle with anticipation and I was desperate to know what kissing him would be like. 

The sound of a horn blaring behind us startled my eyes back open
, and just like that, our moment had passed.  AJ and I both sat back in our seats as the world around us began to rotate again after stopping for those few short seconds that gravity could no longer hold us down.