Good for Now (Book One of The Now Series) (18 page)

What a fool I was? What was I thinking? I start crying up, remembering all of it now. I use to just remember bits and pieces, like going to the office, knocking on the door, feeling anxious; thinking something bad had happened to him. Julio opened the office door. I rushed to Kevin’s office to hear him saying. “I want you,” to some girl, he was banging. I rushed out crying, tears burning my eyes feeling like a failure.

I somehow had forgotten the details but now I’m starting to remember them. I take a deep breath, feeling like my journal writing and talks with Violet, has opened a door in my life, that’s both frightening and exciting.

Chapter 44

Julie

I arrive at the Blue Moon to see Amanda sitting in a booth in the back corner of the restaurant.

“Hey girl,” waving when I look her way.

I quickly walk over, watching her get out of her seat to give me a hug and kiss. Her eyes are watery.

“Are you OK?”

“Yes, its just I’m happy to see you looking so good. The change in you can be seen a million miles away, there’s no denying it girl.” She says, sitting back down.

It’s no secret that Amanda likes to exaggerate, but this time I feel like her words are spot on.

“Life is going well…better than expected,” I say.

“Girl, there is no doubt you are healing.”

“You’re too sweet, so tell me about New York.”

“I am just telling the truth, let’s just say I’m getting older, and don’t have a tolerance for immaturity.”

“I can see that.”

Amanda goes on to say, she earned every single copper cent, coaching a young, rich, some what aspiring, spoiled wannabe actress, who couldn’t remember a line “worth shit”. I chuckled, listening to her complain, really enjoying her drama, yet reminding her fee of five-thousand dollars wasn’t shabby.

“Yeah, that’s what kept me going, otherwise I would’ve left, because she got on my nerves, thinking she was a Kardashian.”

I bust out a laugh, "Well it is a good thing that you kept it together, because now you can relax until your next hustle.”

“Girl, did the word hustle just come out of your mouth? Or am I hearing things?”

“You did, and I learned it from the best.”

“Girl you crack me up…so tell me about work. Any interesting men?”

“Well, not really, but one did ask if I fooled around, even though he’s married. Talk about jerk.”

Amanda chuckles, “No way, see that’s why I can’t be a lawyer. I’d be putting these men in their places.

“You would, but you know that might be a good thing. You should think about it. The money is pretty good.”

“Tell me, what did you end up doing?” Amanda asks.

“I said no, nicely,” I say. “You know thinking back I shouldn’t have, because he left the door opened if I were to change my mind. I still can’t believe he asked, oh I forgot to mention he is buddy buddy with my boss.”

"Really, I would have played him, letting him think I was interested, only to leave him with his pants down.”

“You crack me up,” I say laughing. Her humor only kept on getting funnier with time.

“No, I’m serious, I would have let him think I wanted him, meeting him in bathroom, then I would have walked away with his hard on out for the world to see.”

I couldn’t help but shake my head from side to side.

“I would have been asked to leave if I did that, at least this early on the job. It’s fine how it went. I know how to handle myself, and I really want to keep this job. It’s one of the reasons why I am happier, putting the jerk’s request aside. The job had kept me on my toes and focused.”

Amanda grins, taking a sip of her drink. “I guess, you’re right not saying anything. But he sounds like a Kevin wannabe. Oops, sorry I had to mention him. You know I never said this, but I feel responsible for the crap he has put you through.”

“It's fine, and don’t be sorry, after all he was all I use to talk about. So mentioning him, is normal. There's a lot I have to learn from the relationship, might as well face how it was and never make the same mistakes again,” I say, taking a sip of beer. “Especially, since it’s over.”

I felt a chill when I said over. Was it really? I still didn’t know. I wanted it to be, but he wasn’t around for me to say this a hundred percent. Would I be strong to stick to my convictions once he’d be back?

I redirect my thoughts to just letting things just be, and not be so quick to make decisions. Especially ones that I knew I couldn't promise to save my life.

“Girl, you are on track,” Amanda says.

“Well it’s about time I face the truth in many areas of my life, like my parent's relationship and what really happened between them…I really feel…” I had to stop mid sentence, feeling my eyes burn and my nose twinkle. I take a deep breath to collect my composure, or else tears would be streaming down my cheeks.

"All of this will be worth it in the end," Amanda says. “I am so proud of you.” She reaches out for my hand.

"It will, I just needed to talk to someone and Violet is perfect. It is also good to know that she won't run off thinking I’m mad or tell a friend about our sessions. I have you to thank for Violet.”

"She is gossip proof; who won't tell a soul. But you know you can always talk to me. I may not be as calm as her, but know I’m always here.”

“I know and thanks.”

“Anytime.”

“You are all smiles too. I know you’re happy to see me, but is there another reason?” I ask. Keeping my eyes on Amanda, her cheeks turning red.

"Mitch and I have been talking and…"

“He popped the question.”

Amanda’s smile drops a bit, as she reaches for her glass of wine, "Not yet…”

I pretend smile, my heart thumping, wishing I had let her finish her sentence. I could see she was sad, there was no trying to hide it, especially from me, but who knew. She was an actress anyway.

“First he wants us to get a place together, and I said why not, he’s basically staying at my place anyway,” Amanda says, her smile returning.

My heart drops, thinking really. Wanting to say, didn’t you swore that you would never live with another man until marriage. I take a sip out of my Sam Adams, trying to think of a supporting response. I’m all ready seeing that she had forgotten her promise to never coexist without marriage again.

I am one of her closest friends. Shouldn’t I at least remind her of the drawbacks of living with someone, if marriage was the goal. And who was I fooling, knowing that marriage was very important to her. She had a pin board of the perfect wedding dress, the perfect arrangements and the perfect venue. Amanda already asked me to be her bridesmaid. I felt like I should speak up.

“Wow, that is kind of jumping the gun,” I say, feeling my chest tighten.

"I knew you were going to say that, and yes, I have thought about it afterwards. But its not like that with Mitch, when he asked me to move in with him, I didn't hesitate to say yes. I couldn't say it fast enough."

I just smile, As long as you have thought about it, even if it was afterwards," I say, a bit impressed by her boldness.

"I have...but I get what you are saying. I haven't told my mom either because I already know she will tell me not to move in with him. But you know what? This time I don't care about the ring or marriage. I don't even think I am ready for it or maybe I don't want it anymore. I just don't want the pressure."

Did I just hear what I did? As long as I have known Amanda, all she ever wanted was to get married. Maybe dreams did change.

"When is this happening?" I ask.

"Next month, Mitch had a few extra expenses, for the rental deposit."

I look at Amanda, keeping my eyes on her, "That's good, no need to rush it if..."

"I know what you are about to say and I agree, now there has to be someone that has caught your eye, spill it Julie," Amanda demands, her eyes staring deep in mine.

I shake my head, thinking of Robert. Wishing I didn’t, because he is all over the place.

“Well there is a guy I’ve been talking to, who I haven't see yet who is interesting. He’s a lawyer, but I’ve been told that he’s bad news."

“Well you can't always believe what you hear, I say give him a try, but if he looks at another girl, cut him loose. You don’t need another Kevin.”

“You are so right, I’m actually meeting him for lunch tomorrow and I’m kind of nervous.”

"You like him,” I see it in your eyes.

"I shouldn’t, but there is something about him."

“Maybe you’ll know what it is tomorrow or maybe you won’t," Amanda says, “all I can say is love is blind.”

“True, it is.”

“So tomorrow you’ll be seeing this bad ass lawyer.”

"Yup, I'm hoping he turns out to be a jerk so I don’t start liking him.”

"Life is too short to worry about that, but like I said, if he looks at anyone else, he’s out.”

And she was right, life was too short worrying about what ifs. I’ll just have to see how it goes.

But deep down I was hoping he was nice.

Chapter 45

Julie

I arrive at the office to find a sign saying the office moved to the seventh floor. Looking in the now empty office, it's hard to believe it was a functioning office yesterday. Surprised to see that the light fixtures are even gone. I guess anything or person is replaceable at a short moment.

My phone vibrates, I reach in my purse to see a text from Robert. My heart starts racing, why am I acting like a teenager?

"Are we still on?"

I smile, liking that he remembers our lunch date, seeing he is texting another message on my screen.

"For lunch, just encase you needed clarification. Not wanting you to think I was being inappropriate.”

"12:30 sharp," I text back.

"OK boss."

I take a deep breath, realizing that Robert is a charmer, and that there was no need to take his remarks personally. He’s like this with everyone, with this realization removes the pressure I was feeling. I could handle him, I would have to act the same way I did over the phone.

I take the stairwell up to the seventh floor, still feeling off balance. I hope in time I would be able to control my anxieties around men.

"Good morning," I say to a new receptionist, remembering what Heather had said about being my personally secretary once the office moved.

"Hi, I'm Stacy Collins."

I look seeing a very attractive younger woman, I am guessing around twenty or twenty one. I cringe thinking Mr. Diaz will be salivating when she goes in his office. Or worst yet, he already got in her pants.

"Hi Stacy, I'm Julie White, welcome abroad. I actually started working here not too long ago, so I am a newbie too,” I say, trying to make small talk.

"Thanks, nice to have a face for you now, Heather is in the back getting her desk ready,” Stacy says, turning around to point to the hallway on the right side of the desk.

"Thanks."

"If you need anything, or if Heather is out, please let me know. I’d be happy to fill in. I hear you are a fantastic lawyer.”

“That is so nice of you.”

“Anytime, I use to intern here.”

“Oh, OK.”

“Your are probably wondering why I am a secretary, too long of a story.”

My stomach turns, only imagining what the reason was. Walking down the hall, I’m in awe at how much larger the office is. Once at the end of the hallway I see Heather arranging her desk, looking busy. I just look at her, thinking how lucky I am to have someone like her, who reminds me of Amanda, they both seem to have the same antics.

"Hey there, nice office."

"Yes, its way nicer than my own place, I’m still breathless,” Heather says.

"Mine too."

“I’m so excited to be working just for you. Just so you know, I’m a great gate keeper; no one will get through me, if you don’t want them to, and if they try. Well, let’s just say they will back down real fast.”

“Thanks.”

“Isn’t today is your first court appearance?"

"Yes, it is."

"Oh, you have a few messages, here you go."

"Robert called earlier."

Thump, thump my heart knocks against my chest.

“OK, we are meeting later.”

“You are?" Heather questions, like if it were a sin.

"Yes, to discuss a case,” I say, feeling odd.

"Well, be careful with him, I'm just saying he will have you do something you don't want. That’s if you’re not careful."

I wonder if there’s history between them, maybe an office fling. Heather turns to answer the phone.

"Hello, Ms. White's office."

I smile as I take a few steps to my new office, seeing Julie White on the door. Still I almost knock on the door, still not believing it’s my office. I slowly open the door not imagining that in a million years I would be faced with a knock you out of your socks office. The space is larger than my bedroom, with plenty of room to fit a sofa bed if I wanted to. Even the office furniture is new, and the mahogany desk is like the one I dreamt about having in law school. It even had a glass top, it’s perfect.

"Don't you love it?" Heather asks as she walks from behind.

"Yes, I do."

"Have you seen the view?"

"No, I'm still admiring the room."

Heather walks over and opens the verticals and it takes my breath away, because the panoramic views are drop dead gorgeous. How did I get so lucky? I ask myself. I think of my mother saying, "Don't question it, go with it".

I walk in Charlie's to find the place busy; looking aimlessly around for Robert; thinking he would be easy to spot. In my mind he was around forty something, with a slight bulging tummy, and slick back black hair, a true hair gel lover, but to my surprise there isn’t a man who fits either description.

Where is he?

Strange, maybe he’s standing me up, which didn’t seem likely as he was the one who wanted to meet, or something legitimately came up. I take my phone out of my purse thinking if that was the case, he may have left a voice message or text, but nothing. I let out a sigh of frustration, and look around the place again to see if a man is looking my way, but no one is, everyone is busy on their phones or just eating alone while reading a newspaper or magazine. I’ll give him five minutes before I order takeout and leave.

I sit down at a table close to the door, thinking it’s the perfect seat to see him if he walks in, but by chance I look to the deli case to see a guy looking right at me, laughing, and even pointing his finger at me. Shit, what a little jerk. I smile, wishing I didn’t. Here he is already getting one on me. He would forever have the perfect funny story to tell others about me, “Ah, I was watching Julie looking like a lost soul, looking for me. You know she is not that tough, actually she is soft”.

And to make matters worst, he’s half way decent looking, man this will be a distraction. He waves like he is a lost long friend, and any doubt I had that it wasn’t him, has been knocked out the front door.

Walking over, his tone and trimmed frame is clear, the waitress even gives him a serious look, but he doesn’t look at her. OK, that was a good move on his part. If I had to guess his age, he looks to be in his late thirties.

He is the ultimate physical package, no wonder woman melt to him like butter. My heart is already going mad and we haven’t spoken yet. I give him a hard stare, wanting to make boundaries clear, but all I can think about is, OMG. If there was ever a life clicker to pause a moment, I would do it now, so I could walk out of Charlie’s to save face. I was not really ready for Robert.

Keep it cool, I think.

“Hi, Julie.”

“Hi Robert.”

“Can I sit down?”

“Yes,” I say, thinking so now he has manners.

“It was fun watching you Julie, you’re a sight, indeed.”

I could see he was much like he was on the phone, bold and sexy.

“Sounds a little creepy if you ask me, watching me that is,” I say, desperately wanting him to still think I don’t think much of him even though I gave him a smile a few moments ago. Not wanting him to think he has a chance with me, or worst that I am actually desiring him at the moment.

“Wow, I haven’t heard the word creepy in ages. How old are you? I’d say your fresh out of law school or a year fresh.”

He was close, it was close to two years since graduating. Why am I not taking offense to his condescending ways.

“Close enough.”

“Well, I would have thought you would have spotted me from the rest, after all, my voice is handsome. Don’t you think it would have had a handsome body to match it?”

“I don’t think that way, and I’ve especially learned not to think that way with you.”

“Ouch, you know how to hurt someone.”

I see why Heather had to warn me again, she did know him well. I have this sinking feeling that something happened between them or worst, he broke her heart.

“OK, lets get down to business.”

Robert grins, “I like the way you take things by the balls like your father, Joseph White. As it is known, the apple doesn’t fall from the tree,” Robert says, leaning in the table.

“Who have you been talking to? I ask, he must have spoken to someone. Was it Heather? Or was it Mr. Diaz?

“A friend of yours from work.”

“I don’t have any friends at work.”

“Oh, no? How about the one who wanted to fool around?”

Now my blood was boiling. He spoke to Diaz.

“I don’t mix pleasure with work.”

I smile, pulling together whatever strength I had, not to blow a fuse.

“I see that, but Diaz doesn’t. He has been talking about you and how he can’t wait to get in your panties.”

“Well that is never going to happen in this lifetime or any other for that matter.”

“Well, be prepared for him to come on again, he doesn’t take no for an answer. The new secretary in your office, Stacy, is his new interest, until he is bored with her.”

“How is this even going on? I mean this is sexual harassment.”

“Yes, it is, but some lawyers are fucken horn bags.”

“This could be said for every profession.”

“True, but for some reasons these horn bag lawyers like to think they are god.”

“Thanks for the tip, what do I need to know about him?”

Kevin smiles, leaning closer in the table, he really is attractive. He has the cutest lips, small and blush, and the way he smiles after a few sentences has me fixated on him. I can see there is an attraction between us.

“He likes to have others do his work because he’s a lazy son of a bitch. He slip his files with others, hoping whoever gets it doesn’t notice it is not theirs until it is done. Returning it to Diaz, “Oh, I don’t know how my file got mixed in with yours,” yet still taking the credit, while he is out hounding an intern or looking for pussy somewhere else.”

“How gross.”

“Well, that’s how he is, just makes sure you look at your files before doing the legwork and if you do find one, just put it in back in his mailbox.”

“I thought he was your friend.”

“We were, until he threw me under the bus, but he will get his own, one day.”

I didn’t like the sound of that, but I could see that Robert was angry, and maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all.

“So what is the something that will save my ass one day?” I ask.

He smiles, “You do have a good memory, don’t you?”

“Yes, I remember what I need to know.”

“Let’s get to know each other a little before I spill it.”

“That wasn’t the deal,” I say, my tone becoming deeper.

“You know you’re beautiful when you get upset. I can see why they hired you, you’re like a barracuda.”

I laugh, “A barracuda, come on, I’ve never heard that used before, and besides you’re the one who wanted to meet.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Do you have the papers for me? And more importantly are they signed?”

“Yes, I have them in a very safe place,” Robert says, smiling right at me, as reaches in his jacket. “See it’s here.” He waves the envelope, before he hands it over.

I grab it, looking at the envelope with my name written on the front. I look at Robert.

“Why are you looking like that? Don’t you trust me?”

I smile, he really is paranoid. “I just like making sure, that’s all because one never knows even perfectionist slip up.”

“Well then they wouldn’t be a perfectionist,” Robert smiles.

I couldn’t help but to smile back, playing with my hair. I could feel myself get excited and playful. I forgot how good flirting feels, thinking back to a session with Violet. She said, it was good for the blood and the libido.

“You are damn sexy, but go ahead check it. I’m always on point as the ladies say never disappointing with my point,” Robert says.

I open the envelope to see that the papers are signed and dated as promised.

“Yes, you are on point.”

“I told you.”

Looking at him, I see a man I am highly attracted to, he has charm and he is sexy.

“Is it just me or do you want to get out of here?”

“What for?”

“I think we need alone time, to get this sexual tension out of the way, so we can work together, otherwise it will always be there fucking up our concentration. It’s only the right thing to do.”

“Are you saying we should fuck?” I ask.

“Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying.”

“So it will be a one time deal? Just to clear the sexual pull between us.”

“Yes.”

“No strings attached, of course?” I ask.

“Not one.”

I smile, liking a man who is upfront about his intentions.

Now the ball is in my court.

Continue reading Julie and Bo’s love story here:

GREAT FOR NOW, BOOK TWO (CLICK HERE)

Sneak preview of Chapter One

Julie

Two years later

Shoot I’m going to be late for work if I don’t hurry. I forgot to set the alarm last night because Candy Cop, was on the mark, tiring me so badly that I fell asleep afterwards. My hips are still sore.