Good Enough to Share (Good Enough, Book 1 - Christmas) (12 page)

“Harder Charlie.”
I don’t need to say anything, Dane is doing it for me. “Fuck that little pussy
harder.” Charlie is breathing hard in my ear as he screws his fingers deeper
inside me and I’m sure he’s getting close to coming.

“Lie on the floor,
mate.” Dane still has his gaze locked with mine but he knows, and he’s got that
edge to his voice that makes Charlie do as he’s told without question. I moan
as he slips his fingers out, but Dane is up on his feet, rubbing my clit with
his strong fingers in a kind of mesmerizing, lulling way that hold me just
there where Charlie has left me. He kisses me hard, bruising my lips, his hand
behind my head stopping me from going anywhere and it feels almost like
possession. “She’s one hell of a good rider.” And he’s turning me round and
helping me straddle Charlie, whose cock is standing as upright as I’ve ever
seen one. Slowly I lower myself on to that long elegant cock, feeling him edge millimeter
by delicious millimeter inside me. He groans and grabs my hips, holding me
lightly enough to guide me but not stopping me from doing what I like best. I
ride Charlie like I can’t remember riding anyone before, it’s just right, so
easy to keep the right pace to lift off until he almost slips out then sink
down until I can feel the warmth of his body against me. His hands move up to
my bouncing breasts and he squeezes as I move, and as he does Dane steps over
his body so that he’s stood just in front of me and brushes the tip of his damp
cock over my lips. I groan, I love the taste of Dane, that sweet stickiness
that’s mingled with something that is all Dane. His hands tangle in the hair at
the back of my head and he holds me steady as I let him thrust into my mouth.

I’m not doing the
riding anymore, Charlie has taken over, he’s gripping my hips to hold me still
and he’s bucking his hips so that each thrust seems to take him even deeper and
I’m glad because as I rest my hands on Dane’s hips and let him fuck my mouth I
can’t think straight anymore, and I can’t move as my orgasm creeps nearer, as
every bit of my body seems to tighten with expectation. Charlie is bucking
harder, faster, his pelvis grinding against my clit until I know I’m about to
explode and Dane is pumping my mouth, his cock twitching, filling and then I
come. It just hits me hard, in a weird way it is almost unexpected when my
whole body seems to throb and pulse and as it runs through me Charlie gives one
hard buck and I can feel him filling me, and I think even my throat must
tighten, around the tip of Dane’s cock because he gives a grunt that is more
animal than man and comes right down my throat, so deep I can barely taste him.

He runs his hands
over my head with a caress that feels more reverential than it should and pulls
away. His gaze meets mine as I sway, still sitting on Charlie, and there’s
something there that embarrasses both of us. I glance down and he clears his
throat then steps to one side and offers me a hand.

“Always the
gentleman.” It’s a stupid thing to say but it’s the best I can do right now.

“Sure am.” We
stand there for a second too long, and it’s a weird situation to be in and I
don’t know how to get out of it. Dane sorts it for me. Dropping hold of my
hand, not too abruptly, and steps away.

“I’ll get beers,
shall I?” Charlie gives me a quick peck on the cheek then a pat on the bum and
squeezes past.

“Not for me, mate, I’ve got to get back.” I want to ask why. He’s
already sorted the dogs, doesn’t need to rush off. He gives me one straight
look, as though daring me to push it further and then grabs his jacket from the
back of the door. “I’ll catch you round.” I want to ask him so many things,
like did he want the fuck before he went so that he’d know we wouldn’t when
he’d gone? Was that oh so gentle touch a goodbye, because that touch, that look
was different. Or was he scared? I don’t ask any of them of course. I let him
kiss me goodbye and I watched out of the window as he strides out to his Landrover
and gets in. But he glances up as he swings in, and he looks straight at me and
then he does the strangest thing. He smiles. He isn’t walking away from me yet.

***

“You don’t fancy
hot chocolate instead do you?”

Charlie grins, his
normal, easygoing comforting grin which has the same effect on me as a blanket.
Warm, safe. “If you’re making.”

We cuddle up
together on the sofa.

“Do you miss her?”

He blows on the
frothy chocolate top of his drink. “I didn’t think I still did. But, yes,
seeing her today.”

“You loved her a
lot didn’t you?”

“Yep. I loved her
as a friend and I couldn’t believe it could get any better, but it did. Anna
was everything to me, I worshipped the ground she stood on.” He gave a self
deprecating laugh and I squeezed his hand.

“I think she loved
you too.”

“Sure.”

“Well, why did she
come back if she didn’t?”

“To ease her
conscience?”

“Oh, come on
Charlie, you know her better than that.”

“Maybe.”

“I can’t replace
her you know.”

“I know you can’t.
I thought for a while that maybe if you and me, you know, but then I didn’t
want to spoil it.”

“Well, we did, but
we didn’t did we? We did the y’know bit but it hasn’t made any difference has
it? We’re still friends.” I think it only just occurred to me as I said the
words, how true they were. We fancied each other, but not enough to destroy
anything. And we liked each other far too much to mess it up. Me and Charlie
were cool. But he and Anna were different. “You need to talk to her.”

“We just did
that.”

“No, you didn’t.
She told you stuff and that was it. Find out why she came back, find out why
she thought you’d moved on.”

“I already know
that bit. The moving on.”

“You do?” I
squirmed round so I could look at him properly

He gives me a
slightly lopsided smile. “Are you okay, Charlie?” His arm tightens around me.

“She didn’t come
back because of Sophie.”

“Anna didn’t come
back because of Sophie?” My stomach suddenly felt hollow and I pulled away
slightly from the warmth of his arm.

“That’s exactly
what she thought.” He sounded dry, which was a new one for even toned Charlie.

“What?”

“She thought
exactly what you just did.”

“I don’t know what
you mean.”

He laughed, his
normal friendly Charlie laugh but with just a hint of pain. “Yes, you do. She
thought we were involved and we never have been. Me and Soph are friends,
there’s never been anything else.”

“There has on her
side.”

He shifted
uncomfortably. Why are relationships always so complicated? It’s like a grown
up game of tag where too often the person we’re trying to catch is too busy
chasing someone else to notice. Or at least to admit they’ve noticed. I wanted
James and he wanted a gang bang, Sophie wanted Charlie, Charlie thought he
wanted me whereas I know the heart he gave to Anna was never his to give again,
and me? I don’t want to think about me. I’d moved back unconsciously towards
the warmth and safety of Charlie’s lean body.

 “Okay, maybe
you’re right. But—”

“I am right.”

“Maybe I’ve always
kidded myself thinking I can have friends who are girls, but I like girls.”

Sweet, sweet
Charlie sounded all little boy lost again and I let myself relax against him.
Charlie liked girls, and girls liked Charlie, but life always had to try and
get complicated.

“Anna really was
the best friend I ever had you know, then when it all went wrong I promised
myself I wouldn’t let it happen again. Friends don’t have sex.”

“We just have.”

“You’re
different.” I didn’t know whether that was good or bad, so I ask. “I’ve fancied
you like mad since I met you Holly, bet all the boys chased you at school
didn’t they?”

“Nope, I was podgy
and wore specs and kept coming top of the class. The only time they chased me
was when they wanted help with their homework.”

“I find that hard
to believe.”

“Sadly true. But I
didn’t want boys anyway, they were spotty and stupid and smelled.” I remember
that smell of teenage boys, arousal mixed with B.O. and cigarette smoke after
they’d sneaked behind the shed for a fag. Eergh.

“Well you’re not
like that now.” His kissed the top of my head and hugged me a bit closer. I’d
always had this kind of barrier around me in the past, not wanting anyone in my
personal space. Not even James, unless it was for sex. But with Charlie it was
different, he just glided in under my defenses as though he was meant to be
there. “And I do fancy you like mad, and I love touching ever inch of your
body. But I know you’ll never be mine, will you?” I didn’t answer because I
didn’t know how, and he didn’t expect it. “I think we both wanted this, and it
feels comfortable and great, but it’s almost like…” He paused, stroking my hair
and I could imagine him frowning as he tried to find the right words. “It’s
like just taking a brilliant friendship that bit deeper, but not turning it
into forever. Like an affair, but one that really means something. Oh I don’t
know… Maybe all the time I was resisting you because I didn’t want to cock up
again, maybe I was just building the chance of it being something into more
than it ever could be.”

“Sophie would be
so upset if she thought we’d done something.”

“I know. But
Sophie can’t always plan out what everyone does. I’m not her puppet even though
she’d like me to be.”

“She wouldn’t.” I
knew she didn’t want him to be a puppet, she wanted to look after him, see he
didn’t get hurt. “She’s like an overprotective mother hen, she loves you
Charlie and she knows she can’t have you, but she wants you to be happy.”

“And she doesn’t
like Anna.”

“No.” I sighed,
she really didn’t like Anna. “But maybe that’s because she doesn’t understand.
It’s not up to her what you do about Anna.” I worried sometimes about Sophie,
she was so damned keen to organize our lives, to create the perfect solution
and yet she wasn’t happy. She hadn’t got everything sorted in her own life, for
a start she did love Charlie, and she had run to Dane and jumped him in an
effort to forget. I was sure she had. “What did Anna say about Soph then?”

“She said when she
came back someone told her I’d gone to Sheffield so she came to find me and she
saw me with Sophie. She said I was so happy, laughing and joking.” That stupid
lump was back in my throat, I could just imagine Anna upset about losing her
baby, upset about running away from Charlie, then standing all alone watching
while he hugged and laughed with another girl.

“She must have
cared to come back and find you.”

“She just wanted
to tell me.” I wanted to scream at him then, how can a man be so stupid?

“She could have
written if that was all it was.”

“She’s not like
that, she’d have wanted to tell me face to face, do it properly.”

“Charlie, she
didn’t do it properly when she ran away. Maybe because she really couldn’t face
leaving you, but she could face trying to get you back.”

“I think you’re
reading too much into this. Anyhow she said she accepted that I was with Sophie
now, and she hoped I’d be happy and she was sorry about everything.”

“You did tell her
you’re not with Soph?” I had a horrible feeling he hadn’t. “Oh for heaven’s
sake, you are being so stupid.” I squeezed his hand a little tighter. “What
would you think if it was you? Sophie answered your frigging door.” I was
getting to admire Anna more by the minute, even though the girl who she was
sure Charlie had fallen for had opened the door, she still had the guts to
insist on seeing him. But there again what else did I expect, Charlie was nice,
if he’d fallen for Anna big time then she just had to be a genuine person.

“What are you
going to do?”

“I don’t know.” He
slouched a bit deeper into the seat, his head resting on the top of mine. “It
was a long time ago, me and Anna. What if it’s different now?”

It wasn’t
different. The way they had been looking at each other had brought a lump to my
throat, corny but true. I wished someone would look at me like that.

“You won’t know if
you don’t try.”

“She gave me her number,
said if I wanted to get in touch it would be nice, but she understood if I
didn’t want to speak to her again.”

“You should.
You’ve got to.”

“I might.” He
squeezed me closer, his breath stirred my hair slightly. “Shall we go to bed?”

So we did, we went
to bed. We didn’t need to discuss it. We got in his bed, him in PJ bottoms, me
in the long T-shirt I used when I was cold, and we cuddled up close.

“Charlie?”

“Yes.” His voice
is soft and sleepy.

“You know all
those nights when you’ve stayed out?”

“Mm.”

“Where’ve you
been, cos it wasn’t a girl, was it?”