Gone From Me (23 page)

I try, taking a deep breath, releasing it. As I do, Kyle pulls out and then pushes deeper inside. The pain increases slightly.

“You feel so good, Maddie.” His arms start to quiver and I wonder if it’s because he’s holding back or because he’s holding himself up.

I bite my lip, trying to blink back the tears. Kyle pulls out, hovers above me, and presses a passionate kiss on my mouth. His tongue
runs over my lips and I taste myself on him. He flicks his tongue inside, coaxing the desire, the lust, and the need I have for him. My legs spread wider.

He
senses the change in me and slides back inside. This time there isn’t pain, but a white-hot yearning.

“You’re so wet, Freckles.”
His hips move and he starts a rhythm, in and out. I meet him, our hips clashing, our bodies smashing into one another.

“Maddie,” he whispers and his rhythm increases.

My fingers dig into his back and shoulders. “Don’t stop,” I say, the fire in my belly building and building.

Our eyes meet. He tucks his
hands under my ass, pressing me closer. He rocks into my faster and faster. My orgasm swells to an inferno and I cry out as the pleasure rushes over me.

I feel his arm muscles tighten and he slams into me one last time, holding us together. He covers his body with mine. We’re both breathing heavily,
the perfect melody.

After several minutes, he asks, “Are you okay?”

“I think so,” I say, trying to determine whether any part of my feels sore. There isn’t. In all honesty I feel amazing. Tired yet relaxed. And lusting for more. I trail a finger along his muscled arms. Kyle smiles.

“How was I?” I ask,
worried that I sucked. My kissing skills hadn’t been great.

His smile gets wider. “Terrible, Freckles.”

“Really?” I know he’s teasing, but I’m sure I wasn’t that great.

“We are definitely going to have to practice. A lot.” He kisses my neck and nudges my ear.

I giggle. “I like that sound of that.”

37

Maddie

I’ll Make It Bitchin

“How bad i
s this going to hurt?” Kyle whispers as we walk into the tattoo parlor.

“It’ll hurt… some.”
I shrug. It’s the kind of pain I like. Especially today, on the anniversary of my parents’ deaths.

Tony
steps up to the counter. “Back again, huh?” His eyes sweep over me, and then he glances at Kyle.

“Yeah
.” I nod. “Tony, this is Kyle.”

“Good to meet you, son. What kind of tattoo are you
interested in?”

Kyle shows him a
piece of paper. On it he’s drawn a pair of wings with the tips on fire. He won’t tell me what it means, and I don’t pry. Tattoos are private. “I was hoping to get this. Only better, of course.”

“
I think we can handle that. Carl will be your artist.”

At the mention of his name, Carl comes over. Tony hands him the paper. “Think you can
work your magic and create something like this?”

“Oh yeah,
I’ll make it bitchin’. Come on back.”

Kyle mouths the work
bitchin
’ to me, and I shrug. He follows Carl over to a cubicle. Carl has a sketchbook out and is asking Kyle questions as he draws. When he’s finished he’ll scan it into the computer and render a tattoo.

Tony gives me a
nother once over. “And what about you?”

“I’m thinking a phoenix with the wor
d hope somewhere in the wings,” I say somewhat tentatively.

“Cool. Let’s get to work.”
I follow him to his workstation, which is a cubicle with a computer and some art books sitting on a desk. We discuss what I have in mind. Tony pulls up different ideas on his computer. He rearranges things so the tattoo is to my liking. When he’s finished, he presses Print. “Where do you want it?”

I stand
and point at my right hip, below the bone.

“Cool.” He nods.

“What does it mean? This one.” He taps on the screen.

“Nothing,” I answer, since it’s none of his business.

Tony snorts. “Whatever, kid.” He pulls the special tattoo transfer paper off the printer. “Come on back.”

I follow him into the room with the yellow curtain. 

“Take off your pants and lie back, Maddie.”

I cover my mouth to hide the snort. Unbutton my pants, slide them off, and hop up on the chair. Tony goes through the motions. Gloves. Gauze. He moves the strap on my bikinis and wipes the area on my hip with rubbing alcohol. 

“Holy shit,” I hear
Kyle shout from the front.

Tony looks at me. “Your friend’s first time.”

I laugh. “Yeah.”

He puts the transfer
below my bone. “Right here?”

“Perfect,” I say.

He turns on the gun. I close my eyes. Brace myself for the pain. And though I’m still looking forward to it, I realize I’m also done. Because in the past year I’ve learned a lot, but the biggest lesson is that death is part of life. I can’t get away from it, but that doesn’t mean I should stop living. It means I need to live each day to its fullest. And I realize I can’t control when my time will come, but I can control how I spend the time I have.

Epilogue

Maddie

The cemetery is peaceful. A light breeze pushes the leaves. The sound reminds me of the ocean at sunrise,
its waves rolling lazily to shore. The sky is clear and blue. No one else is here, just the chirping birds, the dead, and me.

I make my way through the gravestones. My parents are buried under a giant oak near the back. Their headstone is in the shade, away from the summer heat. In my hands are a bunch of daisies, my mom’s favorite flower. I’ve placed them in an empty bottle of beer—my dad’s favorite kind.

“Hi, Mom and Dad. Sorry it’s been so long. It was really hard to visit you here. Knowing I can’t see you. Wondering…” Tears build and roll down my cheeks. I don’t bother wiping them away. Crying is part of grieving, and I know it’s necessary. I sniffle. “But I’m trying. No, actually I’m doing better than trying. I’m living my life the best way I can.” I place the bouquet of flowers in front of their headstone and step back. “Kyle is in my life. He’s all grown up, and he’s amazing. Better than I ever imagined. With him on my side I know I’ll be okay.”

A breeze whips past my face and I imagine it’s my mom and dad, hugging me.
When it passes, I take another step back. “Aunt Eliza and Uncle John have been great to me. They aren’t the same as having real parents, but they’re close. Aunt Eliza is always telling me to live a little. Well I intend to do just that. Live each day with hope. With love. And without excuses.”

Afterword

Thank you so much for reading
Gone From Me
. Maddie and Kyle are fictional characters based in a fictional world. Their journey is a one of love—finding it and fighting for it—based on their life choices.

While many scenes in this story are based on reality, that doesn’t mean I condone recreational drug use, underage drinking, premarital sex (with or without protection), or excessive use of curse words. If anything in this novel bothered you, I would suggest talking to someone about it. Get the real facts
, based on your situation. I’m all for discussion with parents, parental caregivers, or a therapist. One in five women is sexually assaulted during her college years.

The National Network to End Domestic Violence (
NNEDV
)
is a great source to get answers to questions and/or information.

If you enjoyed
Gone From Me
, please do me a favor. Leave a review. It only takes a couple of minutes, but would mean a lot.

Thanks again!

Sincerely,

Kate Channing

If you enjoyed
Gone From Me,
stay tuned for
Because of You
. This novel will be told from Gina and Collin’s point of view.

Coming 2014.

Kate Channing
grew up reading
Nancy Drew and Harlequin Romances. When she isn’t reading she’s riding horses, and kissing boys. To get the latest book updates, follow Kate on
Twitter
and
Facebook
.