Gone From Me (20 page)

33

Maddie

Coats Are For Babies

“My Aunt and Uncle are waiting, Gina. Let’s go.” I’m trying not
to act like an impatient bitch, but she’s making it difficult. At the moment she’s stuffing random clothes into a big black duffel bag. “We’re going to be gone three days, not two months. Jeans, tee shirts, shoes. That’s it. All you need.” I stomp my foot in frustration as I watch her ignore me. Open a shoebox and toss her black ankle boots into the bag.

Gina looks up
. “Almost done.” She pulls a short black dress off a hanger. “You never know when you might need a party dress.” She smiles big, and it reaches her eyes, a rarity for her. It finally occurs to me that she’s excited. To meet my family. A small piece of my heart melts. I’ve sensed something going on with Gina. I’m hoping during these three days—without boys, parties, booze, or drugs—she’ll tell me what that something is. “Ready,” she says, tugging on her black leather jacket and zipping it. Wrapping a red scarf around her neck.

She walks over, tugs on my gray sweatshirt, and says, “Why the hell don’t you have a coat?”

“Coats are for babies,” I say smugly.

She snorts.

We head down on the elevator, her with her big bag, and me with a small rolling suitcase. The elevator is crowded. Hot and stuffy. When the door dings open, we burst from the small container. I look at Gina, and she smiles.

“This is going to be fun,” she says, pushing open
Irvine Hall’s front doors.

I’m about to agree until I see Evan. He’s leaning against Kyle’s Jeep. His ankles and arms crossed. He’s smiling, and my heart drops into the pit of my stomach.

Kyle
, I think, and frantically search for him. I see my aunt and uncle’s car. They are parked in front of Kyle’s Jeep. My heart is frenzied. I wonder if Evan knows who they are.

“Hey Maddie.” Kyle
appears on my left and wraps a hand around my waist.

“Hi,” I respond, my gaze spinning back and forth between Kyle and Evan.

Kyle kisses my cheek. “Let me help you with your suitcase.”

“Um…” Evan points a finger gun at me and pretends to shoot. I look at Kyle. “That’s okay.” I walk a little faster, pulling away from his hand. “I’ll see you in a few days.
‘Kay?” My uncle gets out of the car and opens the trunk. A big smile is plastered on his face. I notice his dark hair is thinning in front. He’s wearing a brown leather jacket and tan pants. Happiness spins through me. I’m so happy to see him.

But I
panic. Walking over to my uncle feels like betraying him. Giving him up. Allowing Evan to know who he is. Although I immediately realize he probably already knows. Still, I pretend not to see my uncle.

“
Maddelena Eleanor Martin. Where are you going?”

I skid to a halt. “Uh, sorry. I didn’t see you.” The words sound as lame as they are.

Gina gives me a strange look. I’m about to give her an excuse when her phone chirps. She pulls it out of her pocket and looks at it. Then spins in a circle, like she’s lost something.

“I’ll be right there,” I say to my uncle, holding up a finger. Then help Gina search for whatever it is she’s looking for.

“Hustle. Your aunt is anxious to get home. Something about an
I Dream of Jeanie
marathon.”

I see Collin the same time Gina does. She drops her suitcase. Runs. And jumps into his outstretched arms. They kiss. Their hands roaming all over each other
’s bodies, like they can’t get enough. You’d think it’d been years since they’d seen each other, instead of hours.

Collin says, “I changed my mind.
My parents can suck it. I can’t leave you.” He glances at the bag she dropped. “Unless you have other plans?”

“Oh.” She steps from his arms. “I-I…” She looks at me, her eyes pleading
. But I can tell she doesn’t want to be one of those girls. The kind who choose the boyfriend over the best friend. So I save her.

“Gina’s so sweet. She was helping me with my bags.” I pick up her bag and whisper, “You owe me.” I smile.

She smiles back. Mouths, “Thank you.” Puckers her lips in an air kiss. Out loud she says, “I’ll see you when you get back.”  She hugs me. “Love you, Maddie. Thanks.” She pushes me back, looks at my face. “You’re like the best person I’ve ever known.”

I hug her again. “Ditto, Gina.”

She glances at Kyle, who is having a heated discussion with Evan. “Don’t do anything.” She stops. “What am I saying? Do lots of crazy stuff.”

I laugh. “Thanks. I will.”

She sidles up to Collin and kisses him like they’re alone—or should be. They walk away together. Arms around each other. It’s really sweet.

My uncle grabs the bag off my shoulder and tosses it in the trunk. I
roll over the other one. “This one, too.”

He throws it in, and then hugs me tightly. “Missed you, kid.” He
ruffles my hair like I’m five.

I pat my hair back into place.
“Missed you, too. Thanks for coming to get me.”

He guffaws. “Of course.”
Uncle John opens my door. I slide in behind my aunt.

“Hey, honey,” Aunt
Eliza says.

“Hi.” I get buckled, and my uncle starts the car.

“Did you need to say good-bye to that boy?” He looks at me in the rear view mirror.

I pee
k out the back window. See Kyle’s looking my way. I wave. Either he doesn’t see me or he’s mad. He turns away and climbs into his Jeep. The wheels squeal as he pulls away from the curb.

“I guess not.”

My room looks the same as it did the day I left. Pale green walls, cream curtains, shelves full of books. An antique desk and chair and my queen-sized bed. I toss Gina’s bag on the bed and set my suitcase next to it. Unzip it and pull out my music. The first thing I want to do is play piano. My piano.

I climb down the stairs and head straight for the black baby grand. Lift the top and push back the lid.

Scales first. I play for a few minutes, then adjust my bench. Play more scales. Then I run through the duet I’m going to play with Kyle.

When I finish, there’s
clapping from the kitchen.

“That’s beautiful
, Maddie.”

“Thanks.” I fiddle with some chords.
A melody that’s been rattling around in my head the past few days.

“Dinner
’s ready.”

I
stand. “Did you need some help? I can set the table,” I say, entering the kitchen.

My aunt wipes her eyes. “No.” She hugs me tightly. “It’s good to have you home.”

My uncle is already sitting at the small oak table and I sit across from him in my regular seat. Aunt Eliza brings over a plate of burgers. They are covered in melted cheese and bacon. Instead of buns are glazed donuts. I raise my eyebrows in question.

“A celebration dinner,” Aunt Eliza says.

Uncle John puts two glazed donuts on his plate. Stabs a hamburger patty with a fork and places it on top of one of the donuts. Slaps some lettuce, tomato, and catsup over the top. Sticks the other donut over it. Lifts it to his mouth and takes a bite. A little catsup squishes out the side of his mouth. He wipes at it with a napkin. “Not bad.”

I shrug. Repeat the process. “
Alrighty then.” I take a bite. Chew. My uncle’s right. It isn’t bad. It’s actually kind of tasty. I take another bite.

Eliza laughs. “See, John dear, she likes it.” She grabs a cookie sheet full of fries and dumps them into a bowl. Brings them over along with a container of caramel. “Would you like some fries with that?”
She smiles brightly.

I giggle. “Most definitely.”

Uncle and I give the caramel fries a taste. The combination is actually surprisingly delicious. John seems to agree because he’s nodding.

I can’t help a surge of love for these two amazing people. I grab their hands and squeeze. “I’m so glad to be home.”

Kyle

“Kyle. Y
ou ready to go, man?” Evan bursts into my room as I’m throwing a pair of socks in my bag.

“Yeah, almost.” I zip the duffel
bag and throw it over my shoulder. “Ready.”

He laughs, and something about it sounds strange. “Cool. Let’s go.”

I shrug. Evan is weird, and he’s been extra jumpy lately. I figure it has to do with this being his final year of college. Probably a lot of stress. Or maybe it’s just him, and I never noticed until now. We walk out of my apartment and I lock the door.

“Let’s take my car,” Evan says.

“You sure, man?”

“Get in, asshole.”

His red SUV makes a double beep sound. I pull open the back door and toss my bag in the seat. Evan’s bag is back there as well. We live ten minutes away from his parents’ house, but it’s just easier to have our stuff there. Especially since they want us to stay with them. Evan revs the engine, and we take off.

“So, what’s up Maddie’s ass? I thought you and her were a thing? She can’t even talk to you.
Too good for you? What a bitch.” He pulls out of the parking lot and onto Decatur Street.

“Shut up, Evan. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
But he’s got a point. Why did she blow me off? I thought we were past that. I’m so mad and getting so sick of her whiny shit. I mean, I have problems too. My parents are dead, but I don’t act all hot and cold from one second to the next. “Damn.”

“Exactly, man. I mean
, what the hell?”

I turn on his radio. No longer interested in listening to Evan. Heavy Metal screams through the speakers. It rips right through me and pushes out all the shit brewing inside.

Evan misses the turn that’ll take us to the house, and I look over. “You stoned?”

“No. We need to make a stop first.” He seems nervous.
Too smiley.

I look away. “Fine. Whatever.” After several more minutes we pull up in front of an old worn
-down warehouse. There are buildings on either side of it and across the street. One looks like an airline hangar. “This isn’t creepy. What do you have to do here?”

Evan grinds his teeth together. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

He puts the SUV in park and climbs out. I follow. He’s walking toward a set of rickety stairs that leads up to an even ricketier old door. When I step on the bottom step it creaks. The wood banister shakes under my grip. Evan produces a set of keys from his pocket and unlocks the door.

He opens it. “Let’s go. I’m in a hurry.” I follow him up.

As soon as he closes the door, I feel a slight prick in the back of my arm. I turn, thinking he’s poked me with something, and realize he has. It’s a needle.

“Lights out, bro.”

I feel myself fall, unable to control my limbs or my mouth. If my fists worked I’d kick my cousin’s ass.

As it is, I’m suddenly beyond tired. 

34

Maddie

The Truth Is
Out

My
pajama tank top smells like Kyle and I can’t help but inhale, enjoying his scent. I pull out my phone, wishing I could text him. It’s only been eight hours since I’ve seen him, but it feels like forever. He’s the last person I think about before I fall asleep and the first person I remember when I wake. If I had to choose to spend a lifetime with one person, it would be him. Without question. And it really hits me. I’m not in love with the boy Kyle was when we were eleven. I’m in love with the man he’s become. The man who could so easily have anyone, but chose me.

And I want to tell him. I want to call him up, ask him to meet me, and tell him face to face that I’m
irreversibly, undeniably in love with him.

Which is crazy, right? I mean we’ve kissed. Had some serious make out sessions. But I’m still a virgin. Am I being naive?

I need to talk to Gina.

Quickly I text,
I love Kyle.

Her
response comes back:
Bullshit. You can’t love someone you haven’t slept with. My recommendation: Lose your virginity. Kiss at least three more boys, and then get back to me.

I snort. Text:
I don’t want to lose my virginity to anyone but Kyle. He’s the only person I ever think about… when I think about those kinds of things.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You have those kinds of feelings? I thought your insides were all sunshine and rainbows.

Rude. And I’m not a prude. Occasionally there is a… storm. And it involves Kyle.

You’re weird. Whatever
. You love him. But is it enough to forget about the past? What his father did?

That’s a very good question. One I don’t have the answer to. I decide to change the subject.
How’s alone time with Collin?

Awesome. Getting ready to party.
Want to talk more tomorrow?

K. Be safe.

You too.:)

I
put in a CD and push play. My aunt and uncle are downstairs watching TV, but I still keep the music low. I sit on my bed, wrapping my arms around my waist. I’m already feeling antsy. Craving a party and the lovely, warm feelings that accompany a couple of drinks. Flopping back against my pillows, I try to get lost in the music. It’s Gina’s favorite band—Black Veil Brides. I’ve decided the lyrics aren’t horrible. In fact they’re kind of poetic. The lead singer’s voice is deep, low. I’m almost lulled to sleep when I feel my phone vibrate on my stomach.

Can I see you tonight?

I check the number. It’s from Kyle.

Um, probably not.
It’s late.
I would love to see him, but I don’t want to risk it. He told me he’s staying with Evan. If he were to leave that would mean Evan would know. I can’t take a chance.

I really miss you. And I didn’t get to give you a proper good-bye kiss. Please.

I sigh
.

Aren’t you tired
?
I text back, laughing. It’s really sweet that he’s talking to me though. I was worried he might be mad.

Nah. Plus,
I’m parked outside your house. Come down.

I
jump off my bed and pull back the curtains. A large oak tree sits in the center of my window, but because it’s winter I can see Kyle’s Jeep through the leafless branches. It’s parked across the street beside a large snowdrift.

My aunt and uncle are still awake. I can’t
. My heart is racing. I really do want to see him. The curtains fall back into place and I search the room, trying to think of an excuse to leave the house. Nothing is coming. My phone vibrates.

Are you five? Just tell them you’re going out with friends.

Holy crap. Duh. I should be afraid for Kyle. Because of what Evan said, threatened. But since he’s already here, there’s nothing I can do about it, right? And if he’s here then he’s safe. At least for now.
Fine. I’ll be right down.

I run a quick brush through my hair. Pull on his sweatshirt, the one he let me borrow
. Grab my black Uggs and slide them on. Then run downstairs.

“Hey, I’m going out with friends. I’ll be back later.” I open the front door.

“Hold up, darling.” Uncle John walks into the foyer. “Where ya heading?”

I shrug. “Just out.”

“With whom?” Aunt Eliza asks.

I can’t tell them
it’s Kyle. They wouldn’t understand. “With some people from school.”

“People?” Uncle John deadpans.

“Fine. It’s a boy.”

Aunt Eliza steps forward, but I run down the steps. “I’ll be back
in a while.”

“You have your phone?” Uncle John asks.

“Yep,” I say.

“Have fu
n. And remember the Titans,” Uncle John adds, tapping his nose.

“
Um, okay. I will.”

Uncle John shuts the door.

I dash across the street. Kyle is wearing a hoodie and I can’t see his face. I hurry to my side, and open the door.

“Hi,” I whisper as I jump in.

“Hi yourself, Pudgy
Mudgy.”

Before I have a chance to scream a cloth
covers my mouth and nose, and I feel my body get hazy.

Kyle

I open my eyes
and sit up immediately. “Oh, shit.” My head is pounding and my stomach feels queasy. Like I have a hangover. I check my arm to see if there’s something there to prove Evan stabbed me with a needle. “Evan!” I shout, scanning the room. It’s sterile. Overly so. It doesn’t look like it belongs in the old warehouse I walked into. Four white walls. The cot I’m sitting on. A bright light overhead, a door, and an aluminum toilet in the corner. “Evan!” I twist the handle on the door. Shake it. Try to kick it in. It won’t budge. The sounds reverberate. Echo. “Evan!” I shout again, hoping the son-of-a-bitch shows his face so I can pound it. Several minutes pass. No one comes.

I
sit back down on the cot. Put my head in my hands. All sorts of things run through my mind. Is this some sort of hazing prank? Did I do something—other than the normal shit—that’s made Evan mad? I’m clueless. This is so strange. I have no idea what’s going on.

Sure,
Evan’s been weird lately. I figured it had to do with stress from school. I reach in my pocket to pull out my phone, but it’s gone. Evan must’ve taken it. And I’m suddenly worried. About what his stealing my phone might mean.

He wouldn’t hurt
me.

There’s got to be an explanation.

We’re like brothers.

Thoughts run through my mind, but none of them make me feel any better. Because the fact is, Evan put me in here.

I lay back on the cot. Close my eyes. Try
not to think about anything.

The sweet smell of Maddie’s hair fills my nose. I see her eyes light up right before I kiss her. Feel her warm skin against my fingers.

A rustling at the door brings me out of my memories. I stand, preparing myself for a fight. Two huge guys the size of concrete walls, enter. They look familiar. Friends of my dad’s.

And I’m relieved.

“You guys here to let me out?”

The one on the left is wearing a dark suit, white-buttoned shirt, and pinstriped tie. His hair is blond, pulled back in a ponytail. The other guy is in jeans and a pink golf shirt. His head is shaved and his ears are pierced, like Mr. Clean on steroids.

“Mr. Hadley would like you to sit tight and
be cool. He says you’ll be out in no time.” They open the door. Baldy steps through.

“
Wait. What’s this all about?” My fingers find the spot where I felt the needle go in. It’s slightly raised and feels extra warm.

Baldy and Ponytail exchange a look. Ponytail shrugs. “If Mr. Hadley hasn’t told you, we probably shouldn’t say.”

I walk up to Ponytail, anger burning my vision. “Serious. You need to let me out.” I shove my fingers into his shoulder. Faster than I believed such a big guy could move, he grabs my arm and pushes me onto the ground. My head slams against the floor. Stars dance in front of my eyes.

Ponytail says, “Stay put.” He pushes some stray hair from his face
, walks out the door. I hear it being locked.

I shake the stars from my eyes and drag my sorry ass over to the cot. Blood drips fro
m my nose, and I wipe at it. Something silver is on the white floor next to a smeared drop of blood . I fall to my knees and grab it.

It’s a key. Ponytail dropped a key. I can’t believe my luck.

I count to a thousand, hoping whoever they are, they’ve left. Then go to the door. The lock clicks. The handle turns, and I’m free.

Maddie

When I come to it’s with the knowledge that I’m sitting up, but my hands are tied
behind my back and to a hard wooden chair. My shoulders scream in pain. I open my eyes and scan the room. Dead animal heads are mounted on the wood-paneled walls. There’s an antelope, an elk, a bear… at least a dozen animals. Their glassy eyes seem to be giving me an accusatory glare. Like I somehow killed them, stuffed them, and hung half their bodies on display.

Completely out of place is a flat screen TV
mounted between a mountain lion head and a deer head. The ceiling is low. Muted light fills the room. Beneath my feet is ugly flecked brown carpet. To the right is a bar, with dozens of bottles lined above a sink. A mirror is behind them. A pool table is directly in front of me. A card table to the left, next to a stained orange couch. The room smells musty.

From behind me I hear
clomping, like someone coming down stairs, and a door opens.

I’m guessing I’m in the basement
of a house.

“Oh, good, you’re awake.” Evan comes around and faces me. He’s carrying a laptop in his hands.
A smug smile on his face. “We’re going to make this quick.”

I feel
my eyes scrunch together. “What is going on?” I croak. My throat is dry. Fear tightens my gut and my knees are shaking.

“Here’s the thing.” He walks over to the bar, sets
a small laptop on it. Pushes some buttons and then clicks on the TV.

My aunt and uncle are sitting in the living room, watching
TV. My uncle’s arm is around my aunt. She’s patting his knee. They are wearing the clothes they had on when I left. They both laugh. Then my uncle looks toward the hallway, surprise evident on his face. Two men dressed in ski masks barge in. Uncle John tries to stand, but he’s knocked backward. And he grabs his chest. My aunt leans into him. There’s terror and tears on her face.

The men in ski masks both have guns, but I can’t
bring myself comprehend the events taking place on the screen. “What just happened? Why did he fall like that? What are those—” The questions freeze on my lips as I see my aunt suddenly slump forward. One of the men pushes my aunt to the ground. Then my uncle. The other man comes over. Adjusts them so they’re lying on their sides, my aunt and uncle facing each other. Red is swelling and leaking from both of their bodies. It looks like my uncle is trying to talk. He reaches out to my aunt.

Tears cloud my ey
es. I can’t breathe. My chest feels like someone is standing on it, crushing the life from me. And I want it. I want the release. Because this can’t be happening. Not again. “No. No. No,” I hear myself repeating.

My aunt’s lips are moving. I lean forward, desperate to know what she’s saying.

The screen goes black. I realize Evan has clicked off the screen.

“
Soooooo, uncle-and-auntie-blackmail-pants are dead,” Evan says, setting the channel changer down on the counter. “Did you like the way I had them placed exactly like your parents?” He pauses a moment, then continues, “I thought it was romantic.”

My mouth opens and closes. I want to say things, do things to Evan, but I can’t. The ties have me bound to the chair, and my heart feels as though it’s exploded.

Evan shrugs. “Maybe you don’t see it that way.” He moves so his face in directly in front of mine, and I can smell his putrid breath. “Maybe you don’t remember. Let me show you.” He clicks the TV back on, and I’m transported back in time.

To my old house.
My mom and dad are sitting at the table. Dad is holding a beer. Mom is doing a crossword puzzle. They are talking. My dad sets down his beer and stands. His hands come out in front of him and wave back and forth. I can read one word on his lips. “No.” He’s saying it over and over, just as I did a few moments ago. Then a man comes into the picture. It’s Evan’s uncle. Ryan. He’s holding a strange looking gun. Ryan shoots my dad. I see my mom scream and Ryan shoots her too. Then Kyle’s dad enters the room. He and Ryan are fighting, arguing. Kyle’s dad looks right at the camera. I flinch. If my heart was exploded before, it no longer exists. I didn’t think I could feel more pain. Hurt more. But I’m hurting so badly, my body goes numb. My mind blanks.