Glow (7 page)

“Sorry,” I said in disbelief, then shook my stinging hand as I had no idea I
had such strength. “Just, don't say things like that about me. God, Ben,” I
furrowed my brows. “Have some respect,”

“I know, I have been handling this entirely wrong. I shouldn't have said
anything,” he ran his hands through his messy-blonde hair. I noticed when he
gets upset he does that. I studied his facial expression closely, he looked like
a child being scolded, like the lost puppy dog I had seen on my driveway-so
vulnerable. “Especially to your brother, it was rude of me,”

I crossed my arms. “This was not fair to me, Ben, at all. I am embarrassed,
and so angry.”

“I am so sorry, Vanessa,” he let's out a breath of air then ran his fingers
through his hair again. I wished that I could do that; run my fingers through
his hair. I felt my hand twitch at the thought so I shoved my hands into my
back pockets.

“I am telling Ellen on Monday that I will not do this anymore,” I said
confidently when I already know I will chicken out on Monday morning.
“I won't deny you that, I understand,” he nodded.

 

Wait, what? He agrees with me?

“Don't let me ruin your night, I will leave.” he walked toward the front door
then stopped before turning around again. “I just wanted to let you know that
I didn't say those things to your brother. I never called you crazy...I was just
talking about you and that's how
he
perceived my words,”

I felt bad inside. Even though I
thought
he had called me a crazy chic and
bragged about the fact that I haven't had a date in over a year to my brother,
broke my dinner plans with Jordan behind my back, brought on emotional
distress which caused me to get into an accident, and the biggest one was
hiding being my brothers childhood best friend and took advantage of my
mental ignorance- he still didn't deserve to be treated like a piece of garbage.

“Ben,” I sighed in defeat. “You don't have to leave, you're here visiting my
brother.”

 

He smiled a huge grin that I couldn't help but smile myself. “Yeah?”

 

I nodded lightly. “I am only telling you to stay because I don't want to ruin
Ethan's night,” I shrugged. “No point in making someone else suffer,”

With up-most confidence he walked over to me then stopped when his chest
touched mine. “Please don't talk to my aunt on Monday,” he whispered.
“Please,” I could feel his breath on my face swirling with the essence of
whiskey and coke.

“Ben, I-”

 

“Please,” he begged again as he wiped a loose strand of hair from my
forehead. “I am so sorry for not being honest with you, I won't do it again,”

“Seriously, this is your last chance, McGurthy,” I poked his chest with my
finger. Normally, I would had told him where to shove his apology as I'm not
a real softy when it comes to forgiveness. However, something about Ben
makes me a little bit more forgiving. I hate him...

“Friends?” he held his hand out.

I playfully shoved him towards the door. “Don't push it, Ben,” I laughed
aloud, still feeling the slight tingle from where his finger brushed against the
skin of my forehead.

As we entered the house I could hear my mother. “What did you
guys do to Nessy? If she leaves this anniversary dinner, there will be no
Christmas, understand me?”

“Mom, I didn't do anything to her, she is not leaving. I can promise you that,”
I heard Ethan say for more than likely the twentieth time.

 

Ben stopped walking so I could walk into the dining room first. I felt my face
get warm as I am still embarrassed from what had happened.

 

My mom stood up quickly then wrapped me in a hug. I took a huge breath in,
smelling her sweet scent. “I am so glad you didn't leave,”

 

“Told you,” Ethan laughed.

Within seconds it was like nothing ever happened. We continued with
cocktails for another hour or so; laughing and talking. Ethan had brought up
several memories of him and his childhood friend. Oddly enough as it is, now
that I know his childhood friend is Ben, I remember I was involved in nearly
all of it. From Mr. Fluffy loosing his 'fluff', to my favorite Barbie faces being
melted during experiments with magnifying glasses. I was involved- always.

“I loved that Barbie,” I frowned.

I loved that thing more than I loved myself. I cried for days when I found her
melted. She was a Special Edition Birthday Barbie. With her long-blonde
curly hair and fluffy pink dress with sparkles. It took my mother weeks to
find her.

“I also loved the amount of money I spent on her,” My mother added, glaring
at Ethan and Ben.

 

“It was all for the experiment, mom,” Ethan smiled widely. “Which I might
add worked, and she melted nicely. It happened quickly, she felt nothing,”

 

My jaw dropped, the guys laughed hysterically... including my father.

 

“Alright, that's enough,” Mom sighed as she stood up. “I think we all have
had enough drinks, it's dinner time,”

 

~

My dad had made his prime rib which I might add is the best this side of the
east coast. We were all quiet through-out dinner as we savored the taste of
the prime rib, asparagus, garlic bread and salad. I missed my parents cooking
as I mainly live on vegetables, and Lean Cuisines.

“So I hear you and Ben are working together,” My dad states as he poured
myself, my mother, and Jackie more wine. My mother insists those who
drank more than two glasses are not going anywhere tonight.

“Yes,” I looked over at Ben who is sitting right next to me. He nudged me
with his elbow, a smirk across his face.

 

“Don't touch me,” I mumbled.

 

“Well?” My dad pushed.

“It's just a piece on males and their ways with woman,” I shrugged taking a
drink of my wine. “Dad, you know I can't talk about the articles until they
publish,”

“Okay,” he held his hands up. “Didn't mean to pry,”

 

“So who is helping me clean up?” My mother asked as she stood from her
chair.

 

“We will clean up, you're not doing anything,” I smiled standing from my
seat picking up my dirty dishes. “You both cooked, it's your day,”

“I'll help you,” Ben said as he stood, picking up his dishes.
“Head to the kitchen, Vanessa. I'll bring you the dirty dishes, you load,” he
winked.

“Okay,” I smiled.

 

I carried what dishes I had in my hands to the kitchen. I set them in the sink
and turned the water on.

 

“I think someone is taking a liking to my daughter,” Mom said from behind
me.

 

I laughed. “Who, Ben?”

 

“Yes, Ben...” she leaned against the counter smiling. “Haven't you noticed
the way he smiles at you?”

“Mother, no he doesn't smile at me in any way at all, that is just him,” I
snorted. “He is a player, he plays and uses woman. That is why we are
working together on this article,” I said glumly. Not that I care if he did like
me, he is a pig.

I could hear the music blast in the background and within a few seconds my
father comes dancing into the kitchen with Ben behind him carrying arm fulls
if dishes. “Mrs. Montello, may I have this dance?” My dad asked my mom
then kissed the back of her hand.

“Why yes, Mr. Montello, I would like that very much,” her cheeks turned
pink and she nods. I smiled liking that my dad after all of these years still has
that effect on her.

“Shall we?” he tilted his head toward the living room where the music is
blaring from.

“We shall,” she smiled looping her arm through his, letting him lead the way.
My hands still under the running water as I watched their retreating backs
with a smile upon my face.

“Pretty amazing, right?” Ben snapped me out of it.

 

“Yeah, too bad relationships like that do not exist anymore,” I turned towards
the sink scrubbing at the barbeque sauce on the plate.

 

“Here,” Ben said as he held his hand out for the soapy dish. I handed the
plate to him and he sticks it in the dishwasher.

 

“Thank you,” I continued to scrub the next dish then handed it to Ben.

 

“Why do you think relationships like theirs don't exist?” he asked quietly.

I shrugged. “I don't know, Ben. I get forwarded letters and emails from
hundreds of female readers everyday saddened by the way that they are being
treated by their partners,”

“Okay,” Ben takes the next plate from my hands.

 

“Okay. So what I'm trying to say is that it just doesn't exist anymore,” I
sighed.

 

“Relationships without the love your parents share never existed,” he stated
taking another plate from me. “Love will always exist, you just have to find
it,”
“Yeah, says the one person who has never committed to anything in his life
accept for the 'player code',” I said sarcastically.

 

“How can you say that? You know nothing about me, you are assuming,” he
put a glass in the dishwasher.

 

“I am not assuming, I know,” I argued.

Ben leaned up against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Just
because you did one piece with Dr. Rose, it doesn't make you an expert on
love and relationships,”

I stare at him for a moment, frozen in place. How did he know about that?
That article was published over three years ago.

“I never said I was an expert on love and relationships, Ben. I've spent a lot
of time with her, she has taught me quite a bit... the woman is intelligent,” I
loved hanging out with Dr. Rose. She is one of the leading experts on love
and relationships-what makes them tick, thrive or fall and explode.

“You know what? You're right, she is so fucking fantastic...In fact, she is so
brilliant that she can take perfect relationships with normal relationship
problems and make them believe that they are doomed for divorce and breakups,” he sighed pushing himself from the counter then grabbed the silverware
and placed it in the dishwashers basket. “You need to stop listening to all the
bullshit garbage and stop being so close-minded about men and relationships,
Vanessa,”

I squeezed the sponge in my hands tightly. “What?! I am
not
being closed
minded, and how dare you drop the f-bomb while talking about Dr. Rose!”

“Yes you are, and Dr. Rose can kiss my white ass!” he huffed. My mouth
gaped open at his choice of words for Dr. Rose. “You only know of the
hundreds of upset woman because they continuously let the wrong men into
their lives... what about the millions of woman out there who are happy?”

“They are in other parts of the United States, and all around the world writing
some other magazine that exists out there,” I piped back.

 

“You don't know that,” he shakes his head.

 

“Yes, I do,” I argue.

 

“No,” he shook his head again.

 

“Yes,”

 

“No,”

 

“Yes,” I threw the sponge into the sink. I will win this one.

 

“Alright, you two...” Ethan said as he brings in more dishes. “You guys
forgot these, and quit fighting,”

 

“Is she always like this?” Ben asked Ethan.

 

“Close-minded, yes,” he laughed. “Once she thinks one way about
something... well, then there is no other way,”

 

“So stubborn,” Ben smiled at me. I sighed then turned around to grab the
heaping tray of dirty dishes.

 

“Where's Jackie?” I asked, scrubbing away.

 

“I took her upstairs to my old room, she's laying down...” he smiled.
“Drunk,”

“Speaking of drunk...” Ben said drying his hands off. “Shot for shot?” he
smiled wickedly.
“Hell yes, my friend,” Ethan rubbed his hands together swiftly. “And I've got
something to show you,”

“Give me a second, I'll finish helping Nessy,” Ben held his hands out for the
next dish.

 

“Stop calling me that, just go,” I put the salad bowls in the washer. “I've got
it,” He needs to go away and leave me the hell alone.

 

“Dude, do you remember that one time we shot the neighbors dog with the
air-soft gun I got for my birthday?” Ethan trailed off.

 

“Yeah! You still have the gun?!” Ben asked excitedly. I laughed.

 

“You know it, and the neighbors have another dog too,” they both cracked
up, their laughter disappearing out of the kitchen.

I shook my head and continued with the dishes. I took the sponge and a rag
then cleaned up the kitchen table. I scoot in the chairs and put a clean-silk
table cover on then threw the dirty one in the laundry room. I poured myself a
new glass of wine and went into the living room taking the bottle with me
where the music was still playing but a little quieter. I see my parents had
headed to bed; I am assuming they had had a little too much to drink as well.
They didn't even say goodnight. I was finally alone to relax. I changed the
station to Frank Sinatra and plopped down onto the couch. I sighed, thankful
that I was finally alone. Not caring where anyone had gone, I took my heels
off and leaned back into the couch sipping my glass of goodness.

I started to think about the conversation that Ben and I had had in the kitchen
earlier.

 

“Close-minded my ass,” I mumbled taking another sip of wine.

He doesn't know anything about relationships, all he knows is how to use and
abuse woman. He is a loser that should be put to shame. I am not a close
minded person, I call it how I see it. And as far as relationships are
concerned, they do not exist-at least the good ones. As for love, I suppose if
you fell in love with the perfect person, it could work. Am I agreeing with
him? Absolutely not because there is no perfect person. I don't care for
relationships, that is why I am single and am okay with it. In fifteen years the
way everyone is turning out, we will all be alone.

Almost an hour and nearly the entire bottle of wine later, I am feeling pretty
darn good again. I am sitting looking at the photo albums my mother had
nestled in the entertainment center. I placed the one I was now finished with
back in it's place grabbing another one- it had my name across the front. I
smiled as I sat upon the couch opening it up staring at a slightly pudgy me
with the stupidest smile across my face baring my braces with my chubby
cheeks touching the bottom of the frame of my glasses. I couldn't help but
laugh aloud.