Gifts of Desire (41 page)

             
She was gone
.
 
She
was probably back where
ever she
had come from by now.  She surely
had a man waiting for her there;
a woman as beautiful as she
would never be alone for long…
he stopped short and threw his fist into a hapless oak. 
His barely healed knuckles split open and bled again. 
The thought of
Ella
with another man…
he wanted to
kill
the bastard!  He hit the tree twice more
with the other fist
for good measure, before he was able to gather his wits
about him enough
to start home,
cursing and
sucking
on
his bloo
died knuckles, leading his nervously prancing horse by the reins.

             
He was barely inside the castle walls when he was intercepted by Gregor.  “Milaird! 
Where have you been?  I’ve
important news!”

             
“Not now, Gregor
, I’m busy”,
Ceann
growled.
  He didn’t want to see anyone.  Didn’t want to talk to anyone.
  Mostly, he just wanted to curl up somewhere and die.

             
Gregor persisted despite his foul mood, lengthening his strides to keep up.  “
But it’s
important;
i
t’s about the messenger that was here a few days past.
  The one with the message for
Lady
Ella
.
”

             
Ceann
stopped shor
t and turned to glare at Gregor, who was looking at him strangely.  He realized he must look like hell, but he didn’t care.
  “What about him?”
he growled.

             
“
When he ran off,
I followed him, at a distance.  At first he went north, but after a while he turned to the east and doubled back.  Straight to Rossmoor.”

             
“Rossmoor?” 
Ceann
stared at him, his grief-dulled mind trying to grasp the significance
, if any
.  “Why would the messenger go to Rossmoor?”
  He pulled his hands through his hair
impatiently;
he didn’t want to have to think.

             
Gregor looked at him as if he were daft.  “Because your uncle was the one who sent the message, of course! 
He knew you would intercept it. 
He’s obviously trying to
turn you against the lass
.”

             
Ceann
felt his knees weaken a little
.  But no, that didn’t make any sense, why would his uncle care anything about
Ella
?
  He’d already told him she was nothing to him. 
Nothing
.

             
“I’ll think on it later”, he mumbled, turning to climb the stairs.

             
Ceann
walked reluctantly through the castle doors.  If anything,
things were
worse now
than ever before
.  He had had a taste of how sweet life could be, and
now
the memory of
it would haunt him
forever
.  But he had been strong, and had done what was right for
everyone;
he would have only that to hold onto.
  He would throw himself back into his duties as Laird.  Maybe he would even take a lemen…
but that thought only disgusted him, he didn’t want any other woman but
Ella
. 
Damn
! 
She
had ruined him, body and soul.
 

             
He had just climbed the stairs and trudged into his
chamber
when he heard Maggie’s frantic voice behind him.  He sighed
loudly
and swore repeatedly under his breath,
feeling utterly
defeated.
Maggie had adored
Ella
.  She was not going to take kindly to the news he had sent her away
, and he was not in the mood to deal with the woman’s hysterics.  Not when his whole world felt like it was coming apart at the seams.

             
“
Ceann
! 
Ceann
,
Ella
’s missin
g.  She’s been gone for days!  We
had hop
ed maybe she had gone with you,
but the guards said you came back alone..
.
do you know where she
might be
?  W
e have to find her!”

             
When
Ceann
said nothing,
did not even turn around,
she ran to him,
desperately grabbing his arms,
“Why are you just standing the
re?  I told you,
Ella
is missing,
she could be
somewhere hurt…
”

             
Ceann
put Maggie firmly away from him,
his eyes distant
as he spoke.  “No Maggie, she’s n
ot missing. 
I’ve sent her away.  I told her to return to her
home.
 
She’s not who you think she is. 
It’s for the best…
I…”

             
He was stopped short by the woman’s horrified gasp and the sudden tears that welled in her eyes, rolling accusingly down her round
rosy
cheeks.
  Her hand flew to her mouth as if to stifle a scream.
 
When finally she could speak she looked at him as if he were the devil himself.
 
“How coul
d you send her away?  Why
would you do such a thing
?
  Why, she
loves
you, anyone can see that.
” 

             
Ceann
sighed; his own hurt was too raw.  He just wanted to be alone
with a
flask
of whiskey
to nurse his wounds
for a few more days.  Or perhaps longer
.
Having
Ella
’s
love would have been his dream
come true, but that dream was dead now. 
“Maggie
”
,
he said, as gently as he could manage.
“
I know you’ve come to care for the lass, but you should know, she deceive
d
us all
.”

             
Maggie looked horrified, and rightly so, thought
Ceann
.  It would certainly come as a shock to the woman that
Ella
was not what she seemed…

             
“She
didn’t
!” the woman cried indignantly.  “Why that lass is nothing if not an angel, with a heart as big as any I’ve ever known, at that.”

             
Ceann
shook his head.  “
It was all a ruse. 
I found out she came here
to search
the castle.  I don’t know
for
what, but I can only guess it’s something of
great
value
to
someone
for her to take such a risk…”

             
Maggie’s eyes widened.  “You
still
think she’s a
spy
?
  A
thief
? 
After all that she’s done for us?  You thick-heided man, she came here for you!  She was sent to you because she’s your one true mate, you brainless lout!
”  She stomped her foot on the wooden floor for emphasis.
 
Her occasional eavesdropping had paid off the night she heard Ethan and Iona plotting together in the wood behind the stable. 
Even still, she liked to think she would have seen it on her own. 
“
A
simpleton
could
see what you are to each other!
”

             
For me? 
My one true mate?
  His mind reeled
dizzily
.
He knew it wasn’t true;
but
then
why did
those
words seem to stop his heart for a moment?

             
Maggie’s hand flew to her mouth, as if she
had
suddenly remembered something.
“Oh God, the bairn!  Where is she
Ceann
?
Tell me! 
Which way did she go?  You did send her
off
with guards, didn’t you?  You wouldn’t leave her to be set upon by thi
e
ves.
If anything happens to the bairn I swear I’ll never forgive you!
  That child is innocent in all of this.
”

             
Ceann
felt his stomach
suddenly
fall to the floor, while at the same time his heart thudded slowly
and loudly
in his ears.
  It was hard to draw a breath to speak.

             
“What bairn?” he asked
in a weak voice
, not daring to hope.

             
“Yours, you
foolish
, insensible
man! 
The curse is broken at last. 
She carries
your
bairn, a
nd now you’ve sent her away to G
od knows where when you should be protec
ting her
and your child
with your very life!
”
 
She paused,
and drew in a deep breath in an effort to calm herself enough
t
o continue.
“
Did she not tell you herself?  I sent her to find you as soon as I had confirmed it. 
She was
in such a state
when she found out.
”  She twisted and wrung her hands.
 
“
Said
you wouldn’t wed her, said
you’d told her you couldn’t ever get
a woman with bairn
…
”

             
“I can’t!” 
Ceann
groaned as he
sat down heavily on the bed.  His head swirled and he felt sick deep inside.  “I didn’t think I could, Maggie… I…
oh God, what have I done!” 
She came here for me
?  What was he supposed to think?
  What could he believe?
 
He looked up at her with such anguish in his eyes that
Maggie
took pity on him and came to put her hand on his arm.

             
His thoughts were
swimming
, but through it all,
hope..
. 
“Are you sure?  Are you absolutely sure?”

             
“Of course I’m sure”, she re
p
lied indignantly, “
I examined her myself, and
I’ve seen more bairns into thi
s world than…
”

             
“But how is it possible?
” he said
as if
to himself.

             
With a gusty sigh
Maggie put her hands on her hips and eyed him speculatively.  “I think you know exactly how it’s ‘possible’ young man, and if I weren’t so worried about
Ella
right now, I’d beat you senseless for what you’ve done to her.  Devil take
you
!  What could you be thinking?
  And she an innocent lass!
  I asked her did
you
offer her marriage
after you took her
and she told me no,
you
didn’t
!  Why
you
r
own
good
mother, were she here, would take a strap to
you
r
hide and say she raised
you
better.   And your father, why he would have…
”