Gifts of Desire (36 page)

             
He smiled at her
, one corner of his mouth tilting up suggestively.  “I was thinking that once is not nearly enough
to fulfill my needs, so I can’t
let
you
go just yet.”

             
Ella
narrowed her eyes at him.  “Th
at is not what
you
were thinking.  And
you
will let me go, it’s only a matter of time before you discove
r who I am and send me back,
you
said so
your
self.”  She was rewarded by the unconscious tightening of his arms around her body.  He didn’t want to send her away.

             
“Aye, lass, an
d it would be much easier if
you
wo
uld finally tell me
.”  In truth he had already stopped trying to find out where she had come from.  He didn’t want to know anymore if it meant losing her.

             
She kissed him gently on t
he chin.  “I would tell
you
everything
if I could.  But the decision is not mine to make.”  She let her hands roam over his warm skin, feeling each muscle flex in reaction to her touch.  To have so much raw power under her fingertips was a heady feeling. 
“I will
tell
you
this,
Ceann
, I want no
more than to be here with
you
, and I hope that, in time,
you
wil
l understand the things I can’t
tell
you
yet
.
  I wish I could tell you everything, right here and now!
” 

             
Truthfully, s
he still didn’t know if she was meant to stay here with him, or if she would eventually be called away.  Her heart clenched at the thought.  She wasn’t at all sure she could leave him. 
Not now. 
She didn’t want to leave him.   Surely he had enough stre
ngth to keep her by his side no matter
who or
what threatened to tear them apart
.  This not knowing was beginning to tear her up inside.  At least she had this moment, he was here with her now, and she would take full advantage of every day she was allowed, just in
case. 
She wished she could speak to Malcolm; she had so many questions.  Why hadn’t they contacted her by now?  What were they waiting for?  Did they not realize they had left her here with her hands tied?  Aye, of course they did.  She would just have to be patient. 
With her emotions boiling
hot
just below the surface, she lifted her face to his and kissed him.  Hard.  She twined her fingers through his hair and pulled him even closer, deepening the kiss. 
She would not live without him. 
I will find a way
.
 

             
He growled at her sudden assault and kissed her back just as fervently, rolling to cover her body with his.  Her hips arched against his and she moved her mouth to sink her teeth into his neck.  He
sucked in a breath
and
then
groaned, suddenly thrusting into her with so much power that she cried out and wrapped her legs around his hips to contain it.  She bit him again on the
other
shoulder, and he pounded into her, hard and fast
, taking, claiming
. 

             
At last he threw back his head, his whole body shuddering.  “Oh God!
 
Ella
,
m
o cridhe
.
”

             
Ella
slowly opened her eyes to see him looking down at her in utter amazement, just before he collapsed on top of her, carefully rolling them to one side so he wouldn’t crush her.
  He kissed her lips, her chin, her cheek.
  He pulled her closer and ran his fingers down her back, over her body. 

             
He breathed softly in her ear, “I think perhaps I must keep you after all.”

     “Yes.  Please do.”  She rolled toward him and cupped his cheek in her hand, running her thumb over the strong bones of his face.  “I like it here.  You have a wonderful home.  And your people are all so hard working and loyal and kind…  tell me, how was it to grow up in such a place, what were you like as a boy?”

    
He blew out a derisive breath.  “You make it sound like bloody Valhalla.  And I was a boy like any other.  Always up to mischief, always in trouble for it.”

     “I imagine you kept your mother quite busy,”

     “Aye, Ethan and I were forever underfoot, and we destroyed more than our share of her best furniture.  She had the patience of a saint, truly.”

     Ella smiled down at him.  “I’m so glad you brought me here, Ceann.  I would have it no other way.
”

     A cloud came over his eyes for a moment as he was reminded of his suspicions; of the chance he was taking in letting her in, just a little.  Part of him was still bracing for everything to blow up in his face.  Nothing this good could ever really last, could it?  Ella
leaned in to place a soft kiss on his mouth, and he decided that hoping was worth it after all.

Chapter
15

             
In the
next
weeks, a tender trust began to grow between them, and
Ceann
felt a spark of happiness for the first time in as long as he could remember.  He held it carefully in his heart, too wary to let it grow.  There was still too much between them that was unsaid
, unknown
. 
Ella was all he could have dreamed of, and more.  She was beautiful, yes, but that wasn’t the best thing about her.  She was also clever and kind and spirited, and courageous.  His ideal mate.  In truth, he felt whole when she was with him
.  But h
e still could not coax the truth
from her, and the uncertainty gnawed at his gut.  H
e was afraid;
afraid
of losing her and afraid
that he would do anything to keep her by his side.  And afraid that he would find
out the worst, that having Ella for his own
was
a hopeless dream.  He steeled himself against the day he would discover her duplicity, sure it would all come crashing down on him.
  It would have to.  Nothing so perfect could last, at least not in his world.
 

             
And then came word of
renewed
MacDonald raids on his western lands.  He would have to fight.  A month ago, he would ha
ve welcomed the battle, but now…
now he was strangely reluctant to go.
  He had found something that meant more to him than fighting.
 

             
Ella
watched as the men
readied for battle.  A fearsome lot they were,
with their massive claymores slung over their backs. 
Ceann
had warned her to stay with her guard at all times; with luck he would return that night, or perhaps the next day, depending how far the MacDonalds had
already
gotten.  He took her breath away, mounted on his
nervously
prancing
stallion, shouting orders to his men
.  His arms could wield a
heavy claymore as if it weighed nothing, and still hold her gently as he kissed her.  He did not say goodbye, did not look back at her before he rode out with his warriors.  In this way he made her status painfully clear: a lover, a mistress, nothing more.  She was not sure she could ever be happy with less than all of him.
  God, she wanted to be
everything
to him, because he had become so to her.  She tried to replace the disappointment with determination
, going off to pull weeds in the garden
behind the kitchens
.

             
The
old, rather neglected
garden had become her own project in the weeks she had been at Tulloch, and she was proud of how well it was growing under her care.  Carefully, she
weeded and
thinned
the
tiny seedlings and tried not to think about
Ceann
.  Would he have reached the marauding MacDonalds
by now? 
The clan was ambitious and power-hungry, bent on expanding their territory to the west, and conquering all that stood in their way.  Already they had toppled several less powerful chieftains.  They were bold and fearless to raid at the borders of Tulloch; everyone knew it
s strength. 

             
Suddenly a strange feeling came over her; a slight buzzing in her ears, a soft graying at the edge of her
sight
.  She sat back on her heels and clutched at the ground, preparing for
the vision that
would come, unable to do anything else. 
Ceann
.  She saw
Ceann
, on his black stallion.  A battle, shouts and the clash of metal.  Then it came, a blow from behind, while he fought off two MacDonald warriors
at his side.  He fell, slowly, blood…
Ethan’s face frozen in hor
ror from a few l
engths away… “No
!”

             
Ella
rose swiftly to her feet, fi
g
hting a wave of dizziness.  “No
…”she breathed. 
She very rarely had visions, but when she did, they always came fierce and strong.  And always she saw somethin
g that was just about to happen, leaving her very little time
to act
.
 
She ran for the stables, feeling for her dirk.  It was there in
the
pocket
of her gown
.  She looked around wildly, relieved to see a horse already saddled and tied in the back of the building.  Pulling the ties loose, she leapt onto its back and kicked it hard.  She was through the gate and gone before anyone had time to even react.  Luckily
Ceann
had taken his men over the moor, and the tall grass was crushed by the passage of so many horses, leaving an easy trail to follow.  “Oh, God, please let me be in time!” 

             
The ride seemed endless,
how far could the border be?  But at last she heard what
could only be
the sounds of
a battle. 
She slowed, moving cautiously now, until she was close enough to see.  She searched frantically, scanning the sea of moving horses and flashing swo
rds.  Finally she saw him, Fallon
rearing as
Ceann
swung his claymore in an arc high above his hea
d, before bringing it down on his enemy
.  Two more came forward to replace the fallen man.  Her relief at seeing him alive was short-lived, as the man from her vision moved into an opening just behind
Ceann
.  Without conscious thought, she spurred her horse forward, reaching for her dirk.  She saw Ethan, out of the corner of her eye; he had seen
the danger.  He yelled to
Ceann
, who looked up and saw her there.  His look of surprise was quickly turning to one of rage, but the man behind him was now raising his sword. 
Ella
threw her knife, just as Ethan and another
MacKenzie
moved in to take out the two other MacDonalds. 
Ceann
saw the knife lea
ve her hand, and turned.  It slid
neatly into the heart of a man who an instant later would have
felled
him. 

             
He looked around, shaken.
  The battle was over
now
.  The last of the MacDonalds had fled, though they would surely be back to fight another day.  Ethan
was by his side
, breathing hard
, his eyes wide
.  “She saved
your
life.”

             
“Aye.”

             
He looked
to where
Ella
still sat her horse, her back straight and proud
, though she too was trying to catch her breath, and her expression was one of uncertainty
.  He didn’t know what to think, what to feel.  Should he be angry that she had disobeyed and followed him,
putting herself in danger,
or grateful that she had?  He rode
slowly over
to her, glancing back to see that his men had everything under control for the moment.