Gifts of Desire (39 page)

             
“A message for
Lady
Ella
, sir.”

             
Ceann
held out his hand.
  “I will see that she gets it.”

             
The boy snatched the parchment back,
looking even more
uneasy than before
.  “No
!  I mean…
I am to deliver it to the hands of the lady only
, Sir
.”

             
Ceann
narrowed his eyes dangerously.  “
The lady is not here at present,” he lied.  She was in fact late coming down from her chamber again this morning
to share
a
meal with him
.
“
Who
sends her a
letter
?  I wasn’t
aware anyone
knew
she was here.” 
Other than all of the people I contacted in searching for her identity… could someone
finally have answered?

             
The boy squirmed.  “I
don’t
know
;
I was only to deliver the message
…”

             
“
Then w
here have
you
come from?  Speak up, boy!” 
Ceann
was roaring now.

             
With a small squeak like a frightened animal, the boy dropped the missive and ran for the gate. 
Ceann
had half a mind to chase him down, but instead his attention was transfixed by the parchment at his feet.  He bent to pic
k it up, then turned
to find some privacy in which to read it.  For read it he would, private message for
Ella
or no.  He went into the study, closing the door behind him.  His hands trembled as he broke the seal and opened it,
and read upon it
not the words he most feared, that she belonged to another, but even worse.  Written in scrawling letters was the evidence of her betrayal…

Dearest
Ella
,

             
I take a risk in contacting you, but time is short, and
I must know if you have had success
.  I have trusted you to this task.  Do not fail me.
  I await your report. 

             
There was no s
ignature
.  Had he been thinking straight,
Ceann
might have realized no one in their right mind
would have sent such a message for him to so easily intercept.  But he wasn’t thinking. 
He couldn’t even breathe. 
The pain that stabbed through his heart was so great that he sank to his knees, crumpling the parchment as he went.  She had played him false. 
Everything he thought they had together, it was all an illusion. 
He had trusted her and let her into his heart,
into his world,
and all along she worked
with
an
enemy to bring him low, just as he had first suspected.
  Rising
clumsily
to his feet,
his breath coming in sobs,
he grabbed the nearest chair and flung it at the hearth
with a feral growl
, where it shattered into splinters.  A table met a similar fate before
Ceann
stopped, and running shaking hands through his hair, turned and left for the stables.  He needed to calm down and to think, but all he could feel was white hot pain.
 

***

             
Ella
woke feeling tired and queasy yet again.
  She lay still, waiting for the feeling
to subside.
 
The nausea was always gone before noon, yet strong smells turned her stomach.  Her breasts were tender.  Every sign was there.
 
It couldn’t be..
.
but as she searched her heart she knew
…
it was. 
There was no more denying it,
Ceann
was wrong. 
Very wrong. 
He could father a child, and had.  She didn’t know how to feel
; her mind was overwhelmed and reeling with confused emotions
. 
Part of her
was elated.  To have a child with the man she wanted above all others
;
and
she had always wanted children
one day
. 
But her future at Tulloch was not clear. 
Ceann
had not said he intended to
wed
her, nor did she know what was…
she caught her breath.  Was the child th
e treasure she would give
Ceann
?
It must be
.  It had to be.  Her heart beat faster. 
She had thought maybe it was her love she would give to him,
or maybe happiness,
but now she
suddenly
understood it was so much more than that. 
Everything would be alright after all
. 
She sat up quickly
in her excitement,
and just as quickly clutched her stomach and moaned.  At that
very
moment
Maggie bustled in and
went to throw open the shutters
.
  The
stout
woman stopped short when her gaze landed on
Ella
, her expression immediately changing to one of concern.

             
“Och, child,
you
look
awful
.  What is it?
  Are
you
ailing?
”

             
Ella
s
ighed and shook her head.  She had to confide in someone, a
nd Maggie would know what to do.  A
nd
, she reasoned,
she would not be able to hide it
forever anyway
, if she remained at Tulloch much longer.

             
Maggie had moved to her side and placed a hand over her forehead.  “
You
don’t
have a fever, lass.”

             
Ella
took a deep breath and bravely met her eyes.  “No
, but I think I am with child.”

             
The older woman’s eyes went absolutely round, and her mouth fell open
in astonishment
.  When she regained her composure, she came closer and looked her over with an appraising eye.  She nodded once.  “Aye, I should have seen the signs bef
ore now, but I must say I wasn’t
watching for them.  I thought you were
still
a maid..
.
”

             
“I was!
” 
Ella
blurted
, then blushed, biting her lower lip
.
“
That is until recently..
.
I… “

             
Maggie nodded as if she understood.  “Ah,
you
went out on Beltane, did
you
?  That’s alright then,
a blessing in fact.  D
o
you
know
who…”

             
Ella shook her head.  She had been at home on Beltane, not long before she left to come here, and Malcolm would never have let her go off with someone… because… because he must have known that
she was meant for the Laird
of Tulloch. 
God, it was all coming together now.

             
“No
, there was no one at Beltane.  It was
…
at the gathering,
I went into the wood to look for Fiona’s bairn, and
Ceann
followed after me,
and
… well…
”

             
Maggie’s hands flew to her face
with a sudden gasp
.  “
Ceann
? 
Are you saying
t
he laird
is the father
of your bairn?  Are
you
certain?
”

             
“Of course I’m certain
!
”
Ella
replied indignan
tly.  “There’s been no
one else
but Ceann
!
 
Not ever. 
It isn’t
as if
I’ve been scouring the highlands for
other
men who claim the
y are cursed and can’t
get me with child.”

             
Mag
gie
raised an eyebrow
.  “Y
ou
lay with the
man because he said he couldn’t
get
you
with child?”

             
“No
..
.
”  Her eyes softened.  “
I care for him. 
Very much. 
Sometimes I feel as if he is a part of me, and
I can’t
live without him by my side, but then he pushes me away, and I j
ust can’t
break through to him…
but now
.
..”
H
er hand flew to where the new life grew within, and she re
ali
zed in
the next
heartbeat that she already loved their baby.
  Already there was nothing she wouldn’t do for her child.
  She let out a dismayed
sigh
.
“
What on earth am
I
to
do now?”

             
“
What will you
do?”  Maggie threw up her hands.  “
Lass
, this is a miracle! 
A miracle we have all been praying for, for so long. 
You
will tell the
bairn’s
father and he will take
you
to wife
, right away. 
I know he will, on his honor.
 
Och lass, you
will be t
he wife of
the
mighty L
aird
of Tulloch;
you
and
the child will want for nothing!
”

             
Ella
shook her head
, suddenly confused and overwhelmed
.  “No, Maggie.  I can’t.  Not yet… I can’t
be
a
wife to a man who doesn’t
love
me, and for that matter doesn’t
even want a wife at all.
  I want a husband who
truly
loves me!
”
  She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, and wondered how much of her emotional state had to do with the bairn.

             
The older woman’s
face fell
a little
, but
she
quickly became determined.
  “
Come now
,
Ceann
has always wanted a child;
he will be a wonderful father.”

             
Ella
still sulked
. 
“And will I be his brood mare then?
  Nothing more?
”

             
Maggie’s face softened. 
“No
,
nothing of the sort.  Give him
a chance,
Ella
, to remove all the armor he has wrapped around his heart. 
It won’t
happen overnight. 
He is a very proud man, and
aye, very
stubborn, just like his da was.  In time he will realize that he loves you
, and when he does, you will have his whole heart.”  She paused and clapped her hands together
, excitement lighting her eyes
.
 
“
Now, lay back
on the pillows
so I can
have a look at
you
and see that all is well. 
‘Tis the one
thing an o
l
d midwife such as I can do and do well.
  Then
you
mu
st go and tell the father-to-be, straight away.
  Saints but he will be pleased!
”