Gifted, A Donovan Circus Novel (23 page)

“So what, you think Sheffield is
a bad guy?” I asked.

“I know he’s had this show for a
long time. I don’t know what he did before this, but other circuses know him
well enough to stay away. No other ringmasters come near the state when we’re
in a town and I think it’s because they don’t want to mess with him or make
Sheffield feel threatened. His having a little pack of devoted followers is a
little suspicious, too. Very much like a Godfather scenario,” Gabriel surmised.

I furrowed my brow. “I’m not sure
I follow. Are you saying that Sheffield is violent towards other people?”

“I honestly don’t know. I’ve
heard some things—“

“What things?”

“A few years ago, I met up with
this really cute chick from another troupe. I mentioned being with Donovan
Circus and she got this weird look on her face and changed the subject. I got
curious, so I read her emotions and she was downright scared. She was nervous
around me the rest of the night.”

“Maybe she was scared of STD’s.”
I smirked.

“She left shortly afterwards, so
I didn’t even get to sleep with her, genius.”

“Mm, shame. I’m sure she missed
out.”

“Hell yeah, she did. Anyways,
that’s not the first or last time I’ve seen that reaction when Sheffield’s
mentioned. Some people outside of this circus are scared of him. The most
frustrating part is that no one really ever says why.”

“That’s lame. The big secret
probably isn’t even that good anymore after all this drama trying to find out
what it is,” I said.

“It’s rare that gossip doesn’t
revolve around a person like Sheffield. I can’t find anyone who will tell me
about it. It’s like they’re not supposed to talk about it.”

“Just because some people
outside of this place are scared of him doesn’t make him a bad guy, though. He
had to get to the top somehow, which means he probably did have to defend
himself a little. Everyone here seems to really respect him.”

“Oh, no doubt. The man’s like a
god around here—they trust him without question. What he says goes and
that’s fine, but it’s still creepy how no one seems to mind that he’s so
secretive. I mean, it’s a little cult-like, don’t you think?”

I put out my cigarette. “I don’t
know about cult-like. Sheffield’s the leader of this place, not only as a
ringmaster, but also as an owner. He’s the boss, after all. People look to him
for guidance for everything because he gives them their paycheck. Without him,
there wouldn’t be a show. If something happened to him tomorrow, everyone would
be split up going to different groups; most everyone here has been together for
a really long time. It’s his family and if he has to get a little mean
defending it to outsiders, I can’t say I blame him.”

“You want to see the bright side
in everyone.”

“No, I’m logical. Most people
here don’t have many other places to go. They don’t want to walk away. It’s not
easy to lose your family.” To my horror, my voice cracked on that last part. I
glared at my hands, hoping he didn’t catch the emotion.

For a second, I thought Gabriel
would ignore it. I felt his eyes on me and I didn’t lift my head. I didn’t want
or need his sympathy. I jabbed my cigarette butt into the dirt.

“I guess I better get going; we
need to get ready for tonight,” I said.

“You know, if you ever want to
talk about anything, I’m available.”

I looked up at him and saw the
seriousness on his face. “I’m fine, it was just a tickle in my throat.”

“Right.”

“Thanks, but really, I’m fine. I
can’t go around crying my eyes out every time I think about my parents. I’d
spontaneously combust every twenty minutes. I didn’t mean to lose it in front
of you.”

“That’s you losing it? Oh,
c’mon
. There’s no way you’re less
emotional than I am. I’m the king of emotionless; you ought to have figured
that out by now.” He tossed a piece of grass at me and I looked up to see him
smiling.

“I’m emotional, sure, but I’m
pretty well-trained never to let it show.”

“I’ll say. One day you’re going
to explode fireworks on someone.”

“Then quit pushing my buttons so
it won’t be you.” I tossed a piece of grass back at him.

He chuckled and got up. I followed
suit and we threw our trash away in the nearby bin. We went back into the crowd
of people prepping for the evening.

“For what it’s worth, you’re a
very difficult person to read and I don’t say that as an Empath,” he said.

“Am I supposed to thank you for
that backhanded compliment?”

“I just mean that while you
store up more emotion than is probably healthy—”

“—says the Empath who
avoids all feeling—”

“You’ve done a fine job of
locking it up to protect those around you,” he finished as though I hadn’t spoken.
“You’ll do what it takes to avoid using your gift to hurt others and that’s
pretty commendable. Some of us don’t always take the high road or care so
much.”

He put a hand on my arm and
while I barely glanced down, I tried to ignore the tingly feeling I had at his
touch. What the hell was wrong with me? He squeezed a bit and dropped his hand
to his side, wiggling his fingers.

“Did you just sizzle me?” he
asked with a cocked eyebrow.

“If I did, I certainly didn’t
mean to.”

“Hm…must be that you get all hot
and bothered for me.” Gabriel grinned at me as I rolled my eyes. I stuck my
tongue out at him and he gave me a little wave as he backed away. “Later,
Firestarter.”

Chapter
17

Later that afternoon, I walked
around the grounds. I tried to offer my help, but everywhere I looked, people
gave me dirty looks. I went back to my camper to change, grateful I could hide
for a little while with a good excuse. I hadn’t been inside for more than five
minutes when a knock on the door made me freeze.

I opened the door and found
Keegan, to my happy surprise. I gave him a big smile.

“Hi. What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you. I hoped you
were around, kinda figured what with everything going on you might want to hang
out away from everyone.”

I nodded. “Absolutely. I’m very
glad to see you.”

“Me too. Want some company
then?”

“Sure, but is this not typically
when you need to get ready for the show?”

“We’ve kinda got our routine
down pat. Nikolas and I usually spend this time playing video games.” He pulled
out a small bouquet of wildflowers that nearly knocked my socks off with
giddiness. “I’d rather spend it with you right now, if that’s okay.”

I nodded, pleased right down to
my toes. “Come in, by all means. Not that there’s much entertainment.
Definitely no video games unfortunately. Delia would kill me.”

He laughed as he stepped inside.
“Probably, but that’s when you can hide out at our place for some Halo alien slayage.
I’d offer you to come over, but Nik’s there now and it’s a mess.”

“I’d rather hang out with just
you for a while. If you don’t mind.” I wouldn’t forget Gabriel’s smug warning
about Nikolas anytime soon.

“Not at all. I’d prefer it
myself, honestly.”

I filled a tall plastic cup with
water and set his flowers in it. We stood in my camper, unsure of what to do
next. He looked around and caught me as I hid a yawn behind my hand.

“Sorry, it’s really not you,” I
apologized. “I’m not used to the hours yet. I’ll get there soon enough.”

Keegan smiled, then walked over
and sat on my bed. “C’mon. Let’s talk. Maybe take a nap.”

I walked over to sit down and we
both lay back on the bed. He put his arm around me as I put my head on his
chest. He brushed the hair out of my eyes.

“This okay?” he asked me.

“Definitely.” I got more
comfortable and found my ear right by his heartbeat.

“I could use a nap.”

“We have to be up ready to work
in a couple hours.”

“I know. But we could nap for an
hour and then get ready for the evening show.”

“I don’t know if I’ll fall
asleep, but I’ll lay here for a while,” I said.

“Nikolas mentioned he wanted to
train with you more. He wants to learn how you split your flames and make them
dance.” I wondered if Keegan was fishing for something.

“Oh yeah? He’s already very
good. I don’t know if he needs me.”

“Not as good as you. He was the
best one here, but then you came along. He’s not used to being challenged.”

“I hope he’s not pissed about
it.”

“Kinda the opposite, really. He
wants to push himself more, get closer to your level. He really admires your
talents. He said he wanted to hang out with you more, see if he could pick up
tips.”

I said nothing, waited for him
to come out with his question. He wanted to ask me about my thoughts on
Nikolas; I could almost hear it on the tip of his tongue. For a moment, I
cursed Gabriel in my head for his uncanny knack to read people.

“Well, I’m happy to train with
any of you. He knows where to find me. I’d prefer he not do it right now
though,” I said. I tried to keep my voice light.

Keegan shifted slightly and I
slid my arm around his chest to be even closer to him. He definitely had no
reason to be insecure about Nikolas. As if he sensed my thought, I heard him
sigh a little in relief.

“You’ve been spending a lot of
time with Gabriel.” He played with my hair, twirled it a little around his
fingers.

“Not any more than I spent with
you.”

“Maybe I don’t want you spending
more time with other guys. Save it for me,” he teased. I looked up to see him
smile down at me.

“Hanging around Gabriel is not
nearly as fun as with you. It’s not what I’d call a good time.”

“Then why do you even give him
any time at all?” He tried to sound casual, but I could detect a hint of jealousy.
Or maybe it was a burning curiosity. I was no Empath. He was spending too much
time worrying about other guys. Of course, the thoughts that crept into my head
about Gabriel lately weren’t always platonic, so maybe he was onto something.

“He’s helping to clear my name.
He’s frustrating as hell, but he’s been helpful.”

“Might need to be careful. You
were already worried about him calling in his favor.”

“I know. And I was
right—he’s totally gonna hold that against me forever. But I’ll take any
support I can get with my current problem.”

“You haven’t asked for any help
from us. We’ve been here longer, know all the ins and outs and people here. We
should be a huge resource and we’re happy to help you. Why didn’t you say
anything before?”

“I didn’t want to bother
anyone,” I meekly answered.

“Just because we’re all grieving
or have other things on our plate doesn’t mean we won’t help you with
everything we can. Never mind that the Firestarters need all the help we can
get and should stick together.”

“I know. I don’t want to put one
more thing on everyone’s to do list. There’s already so much going on.”

“So why Gabriel, then? Why can
he help you when you won’t come to anyone else? Not even to me?”

“I don’t know. At first I
thought maybe his gift could be helpful.”

“You know his gift? There’s been
speculation. What is it?”

“If I tell you, you can’t go
around telling everyone. He doesn’t really want anyone knowing. I probably
shouldn’t be telling you, but I like you okay,” I teased him.

“I won’t say a word to anyone,
not even Nik. Promise.” With his free hand, he made an X over his heart.

“He’s an Empath.”

“No shit?”

“Yeah. Why that reaction?”

“Kind of explains why he’s such
an asshole. He’s got to bottle it all in and put up a wall to keep everyone out
of his head.”

“I guess I never looked at it
like that. Either way, he’s been keeping an ear to the ground about Marty’s
murder.”

“So he’s reading people?”

“Uh…no, not exactly.”

“Why not? Seems that would be
the quickest way to find whoever did it. Just have Gabriel look for the guy
who’s full of hate.”

It showed how much Keegan and I
thought alike that he and I would suggest the same strategy. Unfortunately,
Gabriel’s stint in rehab was definitely not my secret to tell. Gabriel would be
furious if he found out Keegan knew his gift, much less had trouble with it in
the past.

“That sort of anger takes a toll
on any Empath. He isn’t crazy about his gift, so he tries to dial it back
pretty much all the time. It’s been a difficult few days what with the bar
fight and Marty’s murder. He’d never admit it, but I think he’s worried about
what that might do to him.”

“Fair enough.”

“I’d rather not spend our time
talking about Gabriel though.”

He smiled. “What would you like
to discuss then?”

“I dunno. Tell me more about
your brothers.”

We spent the next hour talking
about our lives; what it was like for Keegan to grow up in Boston and for me to
go into a human world after being part of the circus. A couple years older than
me, he’d also attended high school. We had similar stories about our struggles
during classes, though when I told him I’d been a quiet loner, he admitted that
while quiet, he was still a fairly extroverted person. He’d definitely had more
friends than me and did more social things.

“You said you were in your teens
when you got your gift. Did you get through the rest of high school okay?” I
readjusted my head on his chest and he squeezed me tight to him.

“Even then, I could sometimes
ignore it. I always worried, of course, but if I concentrated enough on
pretending to be normal, I could do it,” he said.

“I wish I’d had the same luck.
It seemed like my fire always remained on the tips of my fingers, ready to
flame out and scare the shit out of everyone. You must have much better
self-control.”