Get Somebody New (6 page)

“No, I ain’t
tell him about that. I’ve been thinking about getting out of it, when my music
thing takes off. You won’t tell him will you?”

“No. Just go
talk to him so at least he knows you are OK.”

“I’m going
right now.”

I felt worse
after talking to Alton. Still not ready to talk to Zeke, I just had to man up
and do it. When I got to the door I stood there rubbing my hands together like
I always do when I’m nervous. Zeke caught me off guard by calling my name when
he walked from around the side of the house.

“Hey Jazz,
are you OK?”

“Yeah Zeke
I’m cool um…man I’m so…..”

“Come
inside.” He said cutting off my apology.

We went
inside and I took a seat in the recliner I always sat in.

“What’s the
matter Jazz?”

“Huh, what
cha mean?”

“You are
rubbing your hands together. That means you are nervous about something.”

“Damn, you
know me! Oh um, well I kinda… I know…. Umm.. Zeke, I’m sorry I just disappeared
without a word. I got depressed about the tutoring and everything. You
encouraged me so it ain’t that. Man, I am just dealing with a lot right now.
You think I can do anything like you think I’m superman and I was feeling so
much pressure to do good for you. I just locked up and got ghost but it ain’t
anything you did. I don’t want you to think that.”

“I
understand. I was so worried about you Jazz. I’m just so glad you are OK.”

“Um, if you
still want to, I’d like you to keep helping me. I’ll understand if you don’t
wanna.”

“Of course.
Jazz I thought about something after the last session we had. Read this for
me.”

 Zeke handed
me a piece of paper. He asked me to just read the words he marked.

“Trust me, if
I am right then I think I’ve found the problem.”

“Okay.”

I stalled on
a few of the words but, before I knew it, I’d read a whole paragraph. It was
about a new actor’s workshop being given at Emory. I’d understood the whole
paragraph by reading the key words he marked.

“Jazz you
read that just fine.”

“Damn, I did
huh?”

“Jazz, you
are not illiterate. You are dyslexic.”

“Dys – what?”

“Dyslexia is
a learning disorder. When you see words or letters, your brain processes it
differently affecting the fluency or comprehension when you read. It is a brain
based disorder but it is not related to intelligence and has nothing to do with
your IQ. There are many different ways the brain can process the letters. With
some people the letters move on the page, some have trouble with sequencing, a
few see the letters in reverse order. I thought about it because I noticed that
sometime you stutter also when you write I see a hesitation when you write some
letters mid stroke like you have to think about the rest of the letter path.”

“So let me
see something else.”

He gave me
something else to read and told me to read every other word then tell him what
I thought it was saying.

“Jazz I also
understand how you went this long without anyone noticing this. You didn’t know
what was going on and you just avoided reading. People with dyslexia are often
able to disguise it well until they reach college.”

“Well I never
really said anything. I thought if I told somebody they’d think I was crazy.”

“This is
great Jazz. I’m glad to see you excited. Oh and for the record, I do think you
can do anything and you’ve proven that you can.”

“Thanks Zeke,
I needed that, I need you. I’m glad we’re friends. That makes it easier to tell
you what I need to tell you.”

“What’s up?”

“I got to
tell you something about me before you hear it from someone else.”

“Ok.”

“Well, I
don’t only do the DJ and music thing. I got another hustle.”

“I figured
you did, I just decided to let you bring it up.”

“I um….. I
sell dope Zeke.” I said nervously.

“Why?
Couldn’t you have…?”

“Couldn’t I
have what?”

“I was gonna
say do something else but I guess you figured your options were limited.”

“That’s not
why. It’s just… Look don’t fucking judge me! You don’t know shit about my life!
Everything is not that easy, I could do a bunch of other stuff!”

“Jazz, if you
want to do something else, DO SOMETHNG ELSE!”

“It’s not
that easy. I’m out Zeke. I’ll holla at you later.”

“NO!” He
shouted as he stood in front of me.

“The hell you
mean no? Nigga you better move.”

“Every time
something comes up that’s hard to deal with, you get mad and run. Stop running!
I’m not judging you. I lov…….uhh, never mind. You have talent and potential. I am
challenging you to realize that potential.” Zeke said as tears came to his
eyes.

I knew he was
right.

“Zeke.”

“What?”

“You’re
right. Please don’t cry man. I ain’t mean to snap at you like that. I’m sorry.”
I said softly as I gave him a firm hug.

“Zeke, if I
give up my hustle, what I’mma do for money?”

“If you are
really serious you will find a way to do it. Don’t be afraid to step out on
your talent. You will never know if you can make it, if you never try. You have
to be your own biggest fan first and believe in what you are doing. You have to
invest your heart and all of your passion in yourself and own it.”

“I do believe
in myself Zeke, but if I give it up how will I pay my bills? My rent?”

“I live in a
three-bedroom house. I am sure I can find somewhere for you.”

“You’d do
that for me?”

“Jazz I got
your back you until you realize your dream, man.”

“I thank God
for you Zeke.”      

I made the
decision right then to get out of the game for good. Sure, my pop was gonna be
mad but he’d just have to deal with it.”  

Alton

Nadiah and I
found out she was expecting and we shared equal happiness for about a week
before she reverted to her old ways, but it was 10 times worse. She turned on
me with the temperament of a mad cobra and turned a blessed event into a
nightmare. Nothing I did was right and I have many additional scars as a
result.

One evening,
I came home from work in a peaceful mood. I’d even stopped by the store to get
ice cream and pickles, which Nadiah went through like crazy. When I put the key
in the door, a chill went through me and I just felt it was going to be one of
those nights. I only had one foot in the door when I detected an airborne
object coming at me in my peripheral vision. The object hit me in my right
temple as I tried to duck in vain.

“Where have
you been?” Nadiah shouted.

“I stopped by
the store to get you some ice cream and pickles.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? You just
threw these damn keys at me and all you have to say is oh? What about I’m
sorry?”

“Well, you
should have called.”

“Whatever Nadiah.
I’m not doing this with you tonight.”

“Wait a
minute, don’t you whatever me!”

Nadiah
followed me into the kitchen, raising hell as usual. In the middle of her
ranting, her cell phone rang. She picked the phone up and pressed the end key
to silence the ring. She continued to rant at me about absolutely nothing. Her
voice message alert went off. Almost instantly her phone rang again. A little
voice told me “Answer that phone”. When I picked it up she went ballistic.

“Hello?”

“Hello? Oh
it’s you. What are you doing answering Nadiah’s phone? I know she’s there.”

“I can answer
any phone I pay the bill for.”

“Well I’ll
get her a phone and I’ll pay the bill.”

“You don’t
have to buy shit for my wife. I take care of her needs quite well.”

“I beg to
differ.”

“You’re just
jealous because I got the dick you wish you had, you dyke. Don’t call her
again, if you know what’s good for you.”

“Are you
threatening me?”

I pressed the
end key and let the subsequent silence answer her question. I turned to Nadiah
who by then was eerily quiet. Even though I was seething with anger, I tried to
keep my cool.

“Why is
Ingrid calling you?”

“She can call
me. That’s my friend you can’t tell me who to be friends with.”

I was partly
listening to Nadiah’s bullshit answer as I scrolled through the call log. My
heart ached with each call I counted. 1-2-3…6 calls while I was at work. There
was a 4 hour block where there were no calls. I figured she was with her during
that time. My anger erupted and to keep from grabbing her, I threw her cell
phone within inches of her head, hitting the wall behind her. It shattered into
pieces and bounced off the wall in different directions. I composed myself then
spoke.

“I don’t want
you talking to her at all. I mean that.”

“You don’t
tell me who to talk to. I don’t know who you….”

“Fine.” I
responded and walked off.

I’ll be
damned if she was going to mistreat me, walk all over me, and then disrespect
me with Ingrid to boot. I went into the bedroom and grabbed a suitcase. As I
got my socks from the dresser drawer, I caught a glimpse of myself in the
mirror and saw the cut and dried blood that ran down my face caused by the keys
she threw at me. Nadiah came into the room as I was closing the suitcase.

“Where do you
think you are going?”

“Away from
you!”

“Fine, I’ll
just make a little trip to the clinic in the morning.”

“Go.”

“Okay Alton,
I won’t talk to her anymore.”

“Nadiah I
need to get my head together. I can’t be in the same house with you tonight.
Loving you is hurting me and I can’t take it. My heart is tired!”

“Fine! I
can’t guarantee I’ll still be carrying your child.”

“If you abort
our innocent child out of spite then I definitely don’t want to be married to
such an evil heartless woman.

My statement
resonated because the look on her face was priceless.

“Alton, I’m
warning you. Get back here right now. I’m serious.

I didn’t stop
walking. Nadiah ran up behind me and grabbed my arm.

“Take your
fucking evil, tainted ass hand off of me!” I said slowly as scalding hot tears
streamed down my face. I walked out, slammed the front door, and left. I went
straight to Zeke’s house.

“Zeke!” I
greeted him.

“What’s
Nadiah done now?”

“That Ingrid
called and I answered the phone. I found out Nadiah has been talking to her.
She called her 6 times today alone.”

“I thought
all that was over. What happened to your head?”

“She threw
some keys at me as soon as I walked in the door.”

“Alton you’re
a better man than I am.”

“What would
you do?”

“Beat her. Ha
Ha.”

“That didn’t
work too well for Harpo, remember? Man, when I left, she threatened to go have
an abortion.”

“She won’t do
that. That child will be her attachment to your money.”

“I’m holding
on to hope. Zeke that’s all I got.” I said sadly.

“Well I HOPE
your ass gets some sense, Lord!”

“Where is
your boy Jazz?”

“He is in
class. He should be here in a minute.”

“Zeke how is
it going with him living here? You ain’t fooling me. I know you’re in love with
that boy.”

“It’s been
fine. It’s not like I can’t control myself. I accept that he is straight. It’s
not a big deal.”

“He does know
you’re gay right?”

“No. The only
people who need to know my sexual orientation are people that are going to be
in my bed. Since he isn’t, it’s not his business, just like his sex life and
sexuality is not my business.”

“Alright, you
better watch it though. You know the first words out of his mouth are always
‘no homo’, or ‘I ain’t gay’.”

“I will be
okay.”

Zeke wasn’t
fooling me at all. He was in love with Jazz. I really hoped for his sake he
could check his feelings before he fell any deeper. A one-way romance is a
guaranteed way to get hurt. I ought to know my marriage was one.

Four

Rachel Richards

Elias was
always a bit quirky but he totally lost any semblance of sanity he had. He
started grabbing me or pushing me a lot more often. I moved into one of our
spare bedrooms. My attraction to him had cooled considerably and we began an
existence more like roommates than husband and wife. I wasn’t missing much. I
remember our wedding night. When he took his shirt off and I was looking at all
of his muscles in anticipation of what else I was going to see. He pulled off
his pants and jumped in the bed in his boxers. I thought he was just nervous.
So when I got in beside him, I managed to ease his mind a bit and convinced him
to pull back the covers. Honey, let’s just say that what he was working with
didn’t justify his huge ego at all!

It’s just
frustrating when a man has an average package, a huge ego, and minimal skills.
You want to just slap the hell out of him and tell him get real! Elias prides
himself on being a stallion in the bedroom. I just never had the heart to tell
him he was more like a rabbit. I let him think he was the bomb, but actually he
was more like a thump. I didn’t have the patience anymore to lie under him
saying things like “Ooh baby it’s so good.” or “Oh Elias you’re wonderful
tonight.” 

After more
stress with Elias, I decided I needed a day off. I took a spa day and got a
manicure, pedicure, mud bath, massage, seaweed wrap, and a detoxifying facial.
After getting myself all prettied up, I went shopping and stopped off at P.F.
Chang’s China Bistro for a Bikini Shrimp Salad while at the Cumberland Mall.
When I got home I could tell Elias was in his bitch mode. I tried to lighten
the mood by giving him a kiss on the cheek when I walked in.