Get In Her Mind, Get In Her Bed (15 page)

Here are some examples of things you can do to mirror her and create attraction:

Match the movements she makes with her body. If she crosses her legs, you might pause and then cross your legs. If she plays with her hair, necklace, or earrings, you can adjust your tie if you're wearing one or smooth out your collar. If she takes a drink, you pause for a second and then you take a drink. If she is using a lot of hand motions when she is talking, you might do the same. I bet if you think back, you will find a time when you did just that. You found that you were using a lot of hand expressions while talking for no other reason than that the person you were talking to was also very expressive while talking. Now you know why you did that. You were subconsciously building chemistry with that person.

Another body movement women tend to do is when their legs are crossed they bob or tap their foot. If she is bobbing her foot I may tap my heel on the ground (bobbing my knee) in the same rhythm as she is. Or if she is tapping her foot, I will tap my beer bottle or the table with my finger in the same rhythm. Not only am I mirroring her, but I am doing it in a way that is not copying. I'm not doing the exact same motion as her. That would be easy for her to pick up on and be counter productive. I am however, mirroring her in a way that is congruent with her movement thus subconsciously building chemistry. Do you see the difference?

You can also try and match her facial expressions. When you make eye contact with a girl, or anyone for that matter, what do they usually do? They smile at you. What do you do in return? You smile back. You do this without even thinking. So when you are talking with a woman and she flashes you a smile, return the favor. If it’s a big smile, smile big. If just the corners of her mouth flip up, giver her a small smile in return. If she laughs at something, you laugh. If it's not very funny, smile and give a little chuckle anyways to show you are in the same state she is. When someone is sad, you don't smile at them. You try and act empathetic and tone down your demeanor to match theirs. I often do this when I’m joking with a girl, bantering her, or role playing. At some point in the interaction I will get a look where she raises an eyebrow, or the corners of her eyes close a little, and she will give me a little smile. Almost as if she is saying with her facial expression, "You are crazy," or, "I don't know about that," or "You are mysterious and intriguing;" it's a good look. Whenever I get that look I give it right back, as almost to say "You’re right, I am interesting and you can't quite figure out why. I am worth getting to know." Another situation when I like to mirror facial expression is when arguing with a girl, or I say something to put her off a little. Then I get that "you’re in trouble" look, where the nose scrunches up and the eyebrows crinkle/crease. I'll give her that look right back. Not only am I trying to get her to laugh and get her right out of that negative state of mind, but I’m also building sexual chemistry with her by mirroring her facial expression.

Mirroring can also be done vocally. If she is speaking fast, try and match her pace. If she speaks slow, slow your pace. If she uses a lot of slang words, do the same. If she talks in a very proper manner, try the same. As she raises and lowers her voice, match her in that aspect. If she is a very soft speaker, speak softly.

Breathing is a great way to create sexual chemistry. By breathing in the same pattern as your target you can create chemistry. If she is taking slow deep breaths, you try the same. She may be breathing rapidly or very loudly. Do the same. It’s important to do this in a subtle way. If you normally breathe very shallow and she is taking deep breaths. Take a very subtle deep breath every so often. One place I find mirroring breathing patterns really works well is on the dance floor. When you are close to her and can feel her breathing pattern it is easy to be in sync with her and match hers. She feels your breath on her neck or shoulder and subconsciously knows you are in sync with her on this level. Other than the dance floor, I like to do this when I'm making out and want to take things to the next level. If we have been kissing and groping for a while and things are stagnant, I will match her breathing pattern (pace, tone, depth). I will do this for a short time, maybe ten to twenty seconds, just long enough for her to realize we are in sync. You will know it's been long enough because she in turn will match your breathing pattern. She may even start to slightly moan. After these ten to twenty seconds, I will start breathing a little faster, deeper, and louder. She in turn raises her breathing pattern to match mine, and once that happens the clothes start flying.

An interesting thing happens here. All this time we have been talking about doing things to mirror her to build attraction or sexual chemistry. In the example above the target has now started to mirror you. You have been trying to get her in a state of mind all night that she feels comfortable with you and there is a heightened state of sexual chemistry. By her now mirroring you, she has reached that state of mind, and in a sense is trying to get you to that same place. If your goal was to get your target into bed you've reached your goal, but this isn't just confined to the bedroom. You can do this anywhere; the bar, a coffee shop, the movie theater. We have been talking about you matching her body language this whole time. To see if you have been doing a good job of building chemistry or attraction with this person, take the lead and see if she mirrors your body language. If she does, well then on a subconscious level you have built attraction; you're in sync. Don't fuck it up. If not, its no big deal continue to do the things we have talked about.

Anchoring

I was with a couple of guy friends of mine and a couple of girls they had met the week before. We were sitting outside talking and for some reason the conversation turned to sex. These girls were pulling out all the stops telling detailed stories. Naturally, like I always do, I picked the one I was most attracted to and went to work. She was telling some of her sex stories, so I start asking her questions that would allow her to elaborate, "What’s the craziest place you have ever had sex, what was your favorite experience, most public place, is that your favorite (position)?" Now that she was comfortable talking about sex with me I say to her, "Okay tell me your best sex story, I mean the best sexual experience you have ever had." She starts telling me, but she doesn't want everyone else to hear so she is whispering everything in my ear. Among other things, she tells me her ex used to give her back rubs all the time, and that always got her super horny and made her "wet." She finishes telling me about her best sexual experience ever, and I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "That’s really sexy." Later that night we found ourselves alone and I was giving her a back rub. I leaned down over her shoulder and whispered in her ear, "You're really sexy." She rolled over, and as I found myself straddling her we began kissing. I was in.

Another technique used to create sexual chemistry is called anchoring. Anchoring is a lot like conditioning. In conditioning, this guy named Pavlov, noticed that his dog salivated when he brought out his food. The salivating was an involuntary response to the dog seeing his food, the stimulus. Pavlov started ringing a bell every time he fed his dog. Eventually the dog would salivate when he heard the bell even when there was no food. I like to think of this process of anchoring as leading the subject to a desired state of mind that will be beneficial for me.

What I did that night, was put that girl in the same state of mind she was in as when she had the best sexual experience of her life, and took advantage of it. I did that by placing what is called an anchor on her. Anchors are used to put someone in a desired state of mind, thinking about sex, pleasure, lust, all of the above. Then at a later time, when we were alone, I used the anchor to put her back into the same state of mind she was in when I placed the anchor.

To place an anchor the first thing you need to do is get your target in the desired state of mind. Whether you want her to feel happy, feel sad, or feel like ripping your clothes off, you need to evoke those kinds of "strong feelings" in order to place an effective anchor. The more intense the feeling is, the more effective the anchor will be.

There are two ways in which you can do this. One way is to wait until your target is in the desired state of mind, then drop the anchor. An example of this would be: the girl you are talking to just got a promotion at work and is out celebrating. She tells you about this and is instantly in a state of extreme happiness. Another example would be: a girl you are dating just got in a huge fight with her best friend. She is telling you about it and starts to cry. She is in a very sad state of mind. An anchor placed in either one of these situations would be extremely effective at recalling that feeling at a later time.

The second way is to place your target in the desired state of mind. In other words, you need to evoke the desired feelings in your target, then place the anchor. An example of this would be: you tell the girl you are talking to, to tell you about a time she was really happy. You continue to ask her questions about that time so that she is taken back to it. The more vividly she remembers this happy time, the happier she will become in the present. Now that you have achieved the desired state of mind, place the anchor. Do you see the difference between the two? In one way she is already in the desired state of mind, and in the other you have to get your target in the desired state of mind.

Now that your target is in the desired state of mind the anchor can be placed. To place an anchor you can: make a sharp clap sound, whistle, put your hand on her shoulder, snap, whisper in her ear, say a certain word or phrase, squeeze a finger or a wrist, anything really. The concept is that by setting the anchor while she is in the desired state of mind, you can evoke these same feelings at a later time by doing whatever you did to set the anchor.

Here is an example:

The girl you are talking to got a promotion at work earlier that day and is out celebrating. Just by telling you about this you see her face start to light up. You ask her a few questions about the new job just to make sure she is in the heightened state of mind. Now that you can see she is extremely happy you reach around and tap her just above her elbow and say, “Jumanji.” I know that sounds goofy but bare with me. The tap on the elbow and the word jumanji is what you used as your anchor. The tap above the elbow seems like a congratulatory touch but in reality it is the anchor. The word jumanji is goofy and she may look at you like you are crazy but you can play that off. Just say something like, "Yea you know, like woooo, hooray for you, jumanji." At a later time if you want her to be happy or in the same mood she is in right now, tap her above the elbow and say, “Jumanji,” or you might be able to just say, “Jumanji.” That is how setting anchors works.

In the example we used two anchors but that is not necessary. One anchor will suffice, but when choosing an anchor you need something that is somewhat original. By original I mean something that is not common to everyday life. In the example you said jumanji. That is something only you are going to say and would be very effective. If you chose the word congrats, that is something she will hear often and the effect will slowly wear off. The tap of the elbow may not be very effective, but when coupled with the word jumanji the anchor will be stronger.

Now let’s go back and take a look at my experience. As a group we were talking about sex. By me asking her specific questions about her best sexual experience I am taking her back to that time in her mind. I am putting her in a state of mind that was extremely pleasurable. I continued to ask her specific questions about that experience to get her to the highest pleasurable state possible. Then I placed the anchor. I used the word sexy, but more importantly I whispered it to her, to anchor that state of mind. I chose that particular anchor out of convenience mostly since she was whispering to me. It was natural to whisper back to her. Whispering was an effective anchor for two reasons; one, the sound or tone of a whisper. Two, the feel of my breath on her ear when I whispered. From her story I also picked up an important piece of information. Back rubs made her horny. While I didn't place this anchor I could definitely benefit from that piece of information. I knew that by giving her a back rub she would feel just as she did when her ex used to do it, "horny and wet," only she would have those feelings for me. From there it was only a matter of breaking away from the group. Once we were alone I used the back rub and whispered in her ear to trigger the desired state of mind. I had placed her in the same state of mind she was in when she had the best sex of her life, and then I placed myself right next to her in that state of mind.

Here is another situation where I like to set an anchor. Dancing is a sexual experience. You are close to each other, she is grinding on you, you are grinding on her, not a lot unlike sex. She is in a sexual, horny, heightened state of arousal. So put an anchor on her. Do something to her that will later put her back into that sexual, horny, aroused state of mind. A good one while dancing is while she is backed up against you, run your hand down her arm and take one of her finger tips between two of yours and give a slight squeeze. I like to use the pinky finger. You could also lightly grab her wrist instead of using her finger. At the same time, get really close to her and exhale on her neck behind her ear. I like to use the finger tip because there are many nerve endings and that could assist in achieving a higher state of arousal. The pinky/wrist squeeze is the anchor. Again, exhaling sensually on her neck is another way to heighten her state of arousal. Remember, the higher the state of arousal she is in when the anchor is set, the greater the effect. Later that night while sitting back down at the table or standing next to her, reapply the anchor. Take her finger tip between two of yours and give a gentle squeeze. She will be taken back to the same sexually aroused mental state she had while dancing. On the car ride home or when back at the house waiting for something to happen, take her wrist in your hand as you did on the dance floor. You will be in her bed in no time.