Fully Restored (17 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Teagan

I
n the past few months, with Seth’s ever present encouragement, I was slowly trying out the dating world again. Disastrously. I don’t think I should be letting a flamboyant gay man do my choosing for me. Just saying.

My classes were almost done and I was acing them, even if I had to put the shop on hold for a time to do the work. Seth was also helping, getting the classes he would need to be my money man. I really lucked out with him. He was a great man and friend. He actually listened.

Like the time he set me up on a date with Jeff, a frat boy to the core. Said he was a business major but really he was a pussy major. His main pride was his ability to get any woman he dated to orgasm. Except me. Not that I even gave him a chance, I mean, what diseases would someone who has that life goal carry? But also, he wasn’t Brock. No one was Brock. Our date was completely one sided while he talked at length about the job he had lined up at his daddy’s (yep – he said daddy’s) shop when he graduated and how much he would make and what a catch he was.

When he briefly asked what I did, he said “So you change oil? That’s cute babe. We can save money and go on trips instead of car shops!” Fucker.  End of first and last date.

Even Seth agreed it was a disaster.

*****

Time moves differently when you’re focused on completing a goal. Class after class I was slowly working my way to the end of my first year, proving to myself and my teachers that I really did have what it takes to run my own shop. When finals came, I was ready and totally kicked ass. I was worthy of this job. Pretty sure my smile could be seen from the moon, I found Seth in the courtyard and ran over to him jumping up and down.

“I take it that they went well pretty girl?”

“I kicked their ass. They’re gonna have to rename the classes for me I did so good,” I beamed. He laughed and picked me up in a Seth hug, which is to say, full body and no air. But all love. I was almost done and on my way to owning a working restoration shop. When I got home from the wedding, I needed to hire a crew and then get word out and open the shop. Taking not only a full load of classes during the day, but also taking night classes at a local shop school helped me to finish the final credits I needed in one year instead of two. I hadn’t slept in ages but I didn’t need it. I was running on coffee and hope. This was going to work. I was also glad that I had already gotten the crap classes out of the way before I quit back in Denver.

*****

When I wasn’t in class, I was working on the shop, gutting the structure and hiring hot men to rebuild it the way I wanted it, for my dream shop. The hot man thing was Seth’s idea and a definite requirement. I was going to get over Brock if it was the last thing I did…and the replacement needed to be manly and handy around the shop in some way. So…I had a constant flow of hot men working here, causing local women to stop by to see if the “gas station” was open yet and me to start flipping birds. Maybe I should consider anger management classes. Nah. Bitches should know women can be more than a gas station attendant or front desk worker at an office.

Anyway, gone was the gas station that used to be there, and in its place was a super high tech auto shop. I had multiple bays for cars with all the bells and whistles necessary to complete all work in one place. My techs would be able to not only work on the body and engine, but also turn the area into an enclosed space with ventilation for priming and painting. This meant the whole rebuilding process would be faster as I wouldn’t have to send the cars off for months at a time to be painted and worry about the quality of the work. My savings were seriously depleted but the shop rocked. So worth it.

The more I worked, the more I learned how capable I was. I was no longer the meek girl I was when I started this journey. I hadn’t needed to cut, even felt the urge to cut, in months. However, tonight was a different story. It was the night before I needed to head into Denver for the bachelorette party and wedding.

I planned on getting into town a few days before the actual events, not only to help Meghan (who was now the queen of all bridezillas) with final wedding stuff, but also see my dad. Still, it was an in and out trip. Fast as I could make it with as little contact with Brock as possible. I also wanted to pick up
Phoebe
so I could work on her. I didn’t need someone working with me now, I was strong enough on my own. Good enough on my own. I know this. Now.

Though he drove up often to visit me, my dad and I hadn’t spent much time together just being family. When he was with me, we were working on the shop, coming up with ideas and solutions to problems the renovation had brought up. He seriously rocked. No wonder his shop did so well and his reputation was known nationwide. Hopefully I would be able to do the same.

*****

After getting picked by the crazy ass whirlwind that was Meghan and explaining who Seth was (again- as if we hadn’t spoken on the phone about him, being my best and only friend in Evergreen), I hit my dad’s house with the intention of semi-unpacking, promising her that I would spend the night with her, just us (with the addition of a gay man who did the ice cream man cry and gossip with the best of them), a last night together before the excitement and the marriage. Of course, I would bring the supplies and she the drama, but some things even the universe can’t change. I stepped out of her car, got my bags and gave her a true hug. When I looked up, she was staring at me.

“I know I didn’t do right by you. I know I was a shitty friend and I have a lot to make up for. I’ve been seeing a therapist and she’s helped me see that I never let you be you. That I didn’t even bother to listen to you when you were screaming at me for help. I am so very sorry Tea. I’m so sorry for not listening, for not seeing. I promise, I’ve changed. Justin has been amazing, helping me through my issues and loving me anyway. So, please let me have another chance at showing you I can be there for you, that I love you.”

Wow. That was intense from Meghan, all I could do was nod with tears in my eyes and give her a hug, “Of course, you’re my best friend. We live and learn. This was a hard lesson, but we grew and look at us now…talking and everything. We’re good,” I gave her a final hug and headed inside to see dad with Seth, who was staring openly at Meghan.

“Wow…who knew she had feelings. I mean, I always got the impression she was the ice queen, the one who ruled the roost with no care for the rest of the chickies. I guess a little life scare can bring out the reality in anyone,” he pondered. Seth liked to think he was a philosopher on the side. Sometimes his thoughts were brilliant, like the time he decided that ice cream was a medical cure for any and all internal hurts (mainly when the men he was dating left him). But not when he tried to fix up other people’s relationships.

Before we even got to the door to open it my dad was there, smiling with arms wide open. “Baby girl! Seth! So glad you made it! Come in- I’ve got dinner cooked and beer ready.” Looking at Seth, “I hope you like football,” knowing better than to disagree with dad, Seth grudgingly agreed to spending the evening watching football while giving me the evil eye as I got ready for time with Meghan.

“You owe me sister. Big time. I expect a hot, hung, rich, top to show up tomorrow with a ring for me for this. That’s how much you owe me.”

I laughed. “You’ll live Seth. Just smile and shout or yell when he does. Also- agree with what he says and you will be just fine.” I heard a knock at the door, “Meghan’s here…good luck.” I gave him a peck on the cheek before I left. He grabbed my hand, “You know I love you girl, right? Call me if you need anything, okay?”  One eyebrow lifted as if to say in case you-know-who showed up.

“It’s just us. I’ll be fine. Love you too though. To the moon Seth.”

Then I went to the door and left for a night out with Meghan.

*****

Turns out a night out with Meghan hadn’t changed much. While I was careful with my drinking, she was not. After a while, when she was slurring something about how she was so lucky to have Justin and that he understood her issues and loved her anyway, she ran to the bathroom leaving me there to wait. Alone.

Disaster.

Seems like I am a Summer magnet. That or she tracks me through town and shows up on purpose. I actually think that second option may be the truth and it’s a little scary. This time, not drunk, I looked up at her and saw that age and time had not been good to her. She was married and divorced multiple times, had kids without dads, dads that didn’t pay their support, and a bad hairstylist. That’s just plain wrong. I knew, before she opened her mouth, that whatever venom she wanted to spew at me, nothing was worth the time. Her time. If I was all she had left to get her kicks on, she had a pretty sucky life because I was a no one.

I lifted my eyes to look at her. “Summer.”

“Bitch.”

Hmmm….well, time hadn’t softened any edges there. In fact, the surgeons may have made them harder.  I squinted to see. If you squinted your eyes just so and tilted your head in just the right way…nope. Nothing helped. She needed the Botched show asap. I hope she didn’t pay a ton for it. Then again, maybe that was the problem.

I tried nice. “How are you? How’s the family? The kids? Everyone healthy and good?” Look at me, all nice. It didn’t work. She scowled. Or tried to anyway.

“I know you’re back for him but you need to know, he’s with me now and we are plannin’ a future together so get your business here done and get back outta town. He doesn’t want you, he never wanted you and will never want you.”

I smiled, “Well, lucky that. I don’t like men who think that washed up, used up, stretched out, and overly bleached whales are their thing. So, being that you fit every one of those descriptors, and more, he’s all yours babe. Have fun with him, while it lasts.” With that, I lifted my iced tea in a mock cheers and went back to my own thoughts.

Eventually she must have lost interest because I heard a huff and stomp as she made it known she was pissed all the way across the bar.

Meghan sat slowly down. “Did you mean all that? That you have no interest in him at all?”

I looked up from my tea, “Meghan, how can one care for the person who shattered and ripped their heart apart and caused a mental break that nearly killed me? Besides (I gestured to my ripped up arms), who really wants a part of this mess. You know that saying from elementary school about sticks and stones, the one that goes ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’, well, we had it wrong. We were lied to. In reality words ripped my skin apart. His words. So, yeah, I’m done with that.”

Meghan’s head dropped and I swear I saw her subtly wipe a tear from her cheek. “Okay. I get that. Just, promise me that you will make it down the aisle without a fight and that if he tries, you will listen?”

“Now, what have I ever done that would show you that I would ever put my needs above another’s? You know damn well the walk down the aisle will be fine. As for listening to him, I owe him nothing. I promise nothing. But I won’t rule it out, okay?”

She nodded.

“I think I’ve had enough and we’ve got a full day tomorrow with my party. Maybe we should head home?”

Huh? Not having to pour Meghan into the car? That’s new. 

Grabbing our purses and tossing money down for the tab, we left together. Me with my head held high. I didn’t let Summer get to me at all. She was nothing but an annoying gnat in my tea. Fuck her. If he can get it up for her. Haha. Well…that sure is a good thought. Damn. Now I was giggling. I hope he had to fuck used the rest of his life.

Brock

She was back in town. I know because I’ve officially become the creepy ex-boyfriend stalker. I sat in the back corner booth of the bar where her and Meghan were going that night, tipped off by Meghan, to see what went down.

When Summer walked over while Meghan was in the restroom, I nearly lost it and intervened but I realized I needed to see that she could deal with things on her own now.  But damn, I wasn’t expecting the hate that she hurled at Summer, at me. At Summer I get, she’s a professional bitch. But damn, to wish me a life of used up second rate sex? To give Summer free for all to me with no concern at all, no feelings? I was totally screwed. My plan to whisk her off her feet at the wedding was well and truly fucked. I was going to need to do more, be more, find something more to get me in.

Shit.

Day.

  After.

    Day.

               After.

        Day.

The pain remained. Same old shit. Same old hate. She still hated me and had every right to because we hadn’t even gotten the chance to talk. Sometime during the wedding, I was going to corner her and talk. Get her to listen. And let her go, to think on what I said. Because I wasn’t going anywhere. Ever. And she needed to know that. She also needed to know that Summer was a liar as well as a certifiable bitch.

I watched her handle Summer without flipping out, without much emotion at all actually, and then leave with Meghan, neither drunk. So, party for one stalker done, I paid up and left as well. Big days coming up and all. I needed an in and fast.

*****

Knowing the girls were all out tonight at a strip club, looking at men and screaming over them, getting all hot and turned on and knowing Teagan wasn’t going to be coming home to me was killing me today. I couldn’t focus for shit. I gave up on the electrical work with the Bee and went to the mindless oil changes, things I could do in my sleep. Damn I hoped she didn’t go home with someone, anyone. I was slowly dying inside.

It also happened to make this the slowest day I’ve ever worked. I did the most menial work I could find, the men in the shop looking at me like I had lost my mind taking the work no one else wanted, ever. But I didn’t need to think to get the work done.

By the end of the day, I was done, physically and mentally. I headed home and considered heading out to the girl’s Bachelorette party and hiding in the dark, but seeing naked dick sounded even worse than my entire day so far. Instead, I grabbed my Jack, stripped and headed to the bed.

Thirty minutes later, the room was spinning and the bottle was nearly empty but I couldn’t sleep or get her out of my head. I just lay there, spinning and drinking, hoping to pass out. Hoping that life would be better tomorrow. Hope is important because it can make the next moments bearable; with no hope, tomorrow will never be better. It is only with hope that we can bear the day. And with hope, I finally passed out.