Freed by You (17 page)

“Thank you.”

Returning to the living area, Julian handed me a glass of wine. I sank onto the sofa and tucked my feet up beneath me. “So, you wanted to talk?” I said, fingering the fabric at the hem of Samantha’s dress.

“I need to explain a few things to you, Emily. Then, when you know the facts, you can decide whether you want me to be a part of your life or not.” His deep eyes bored into mine and his nervous fingers spun the stem of his glass round and round in his hand.

“Firstly, Natalie,” he began, “I told you I had never been involved with Natalie and I was telling you the truth.” He took a long, deep breath before carrying on. “Natalie is my sister.” His eyes searched mine as if gauging my reaction. Well, that was not what I was expecting to hear. Relief washed over me, my body no doubt visibly relaxing. Then my relief was quickly replaced by confusion and uncertainty. Why hadn’t he just told me this from the beginning, what was with the secrecy?

“Okay. So why didn’t one of you just tell me that?”

“It’s...um...complicated. I will tell you the full story one day, that is assuming you will still want to know me, but basically no one knows she’s my sister. You are the only person I have ever told this to.”

“Why?”

“She knew I was planning on telling you, that’s why she was looking at you in that way last night, and by the way I’ve had words with her and she won’t be behaving like that towards you again. My father was not a very nice man, Emily. He’s done some despicable things in the past. Natalie shouldn’t be anywhere near me but I have vowed to look after her and make sure that she’s safe. If my father knew she was with me, he would come after her. So, to cut a long story short, Natalie lives under a false identity here. She was placed under the witness protection act years ago so he couldn’t get to her again. But I wasn’t. He could find me if he wanted to and that is why no one can ever know Natalie’s true identity.”

I was completely shocked, speechless. I had not expected that as an explanation. What could their father possibly have done to her to have her put under witness protection?

“Will you tell me why?” I asked nervously, again thanking the wine for making me brave.

“I won’t go into details. That’s not my place. My father was an abusive man and a drunk. Natalie saw things that no little girl should ever see, and when she spoke out my father went crazy. Her revelations landed him behind bars, but he still has contacts on the outside. He mustn’t ever learn of her whereabouts. The police had no option but to put her under witness protection with the condition that she never has any contact with her biological family, but I won’t leave her unprotected. I won’t let her be by herself, why should she be alone? I didn’t protect her then but I will now.” He trailed off and I noticed a glint of moisture in his eye.

My poor, vulnerable Julian was back. I shuffled closer to him and cautiously stroked a hand through his hair. He leaned his head heavily into my hand and a quiet moan came from his mouth.

“Thank you, Julian,” I breathed, my voice barely audible as my emotions took over.

“For what?”

“For being honest with me. For trusting me. I promise you, I will never tell a single soul what you have just told me.”

“I know you won’t. I trust you, Emily.”

I smiled and cautiously moved closer to him. As he registered my movement, his gaze heated and his lips parted slightly as an invitation, I assumed. I pressed my lips gently against his and held them still, waiting for his movement to come first as acceptance of my kiss. His acceptance followed after a second as he pressed his lips against mine in return and began his slow, sensuous rhythm. My hand fisted in his hair when he quickened his pace, his kiss becoming urgent as his tongue began to explore my mouth. His hands gripped firmly on my waist as if holding me in place. Then his mouth tore away from mine as he began trailing soft kisses from my jaw and down my neck. I rolled my head back to grant him more space and he slid my jacket gently off my shoulders. His kisses stopped as he pulled his head back, his eyes scanning over my now bare shoulders and chest.

“You are so beautiful,” he breathed as his lips returned to my neck once more, this time travelling across my shoulder. Then his mouth paused and his forehead pressed into the side of my neck. “I can’t kiss you like this, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“What have I done now?” I huffed.

“Nothing, Emily. Absolutely nothing,” he replied through panting breaths.

“Then why is it that every time we get close you freak out and tell me you can’t?”

“I want your first time to be special, Emily. Not a quick romp on the sofa, or against the hall wall. I want to treat you how you deserve to be treated and if I kiss you like that for much longer I’m not sure I’ll be able to control myself.”

With his last words, his cheeks reddened and I realised I had just witnessed Mr Julian Scott blushing. A triumphant smile spread across my mouth. “Why are you blushing, Mr Scott?” I teased.

Julian groaned as he leaned in and planted a soft, chaste kiss against my lips.

“Here, put your jacket back on,” he ordered as he reached around to the sofa behind me and retrieved my jacket.

“I’m not cold.”

“Then I’ll open the window,” he replied. “But I would much rather concentrate on our conversation without the distraction of your naked upper torso staring at me.”

“Maybe I want to distract you.”

“Ah, don’t tempt me, Emily, or I may not stick to my promise of making it special.”

“So that was a promise? I’ll hold you to that.”

“I never break a promise,” he said with a wicked grin spreading across his mouth and equally reaching his eyes.

“And when might I have the pleasure of finding out if that’s true?”

“That depends if you can do as you are told and put your jacket back on.” As he spoke he moved his arms behind me, trying to coax my arms into my jacket.

“Fine!” I agreed, pushing my arms into the small sleeves.

I grinned ridiculously at the thought that I could possibly distract such a man simply by having bare shoulders. Maybe I could seduce him; after all, I didn’t want to wait. But I decided to leave it for tonight and give him his chance of explaining whatever it was he wanted to explain.

“Where were we?” I asked, taking a sip of wine.

“I believe you wanted to know why I left.”

“Is it important now?” I asked, forgetting the hurt and anger he had caused me such a short time ago. It didn’t seem to matter anymore with him sitting before me and sharing his most treasured secrets.

“It was down to Natalie that I came back,” he murmured, his eyes locked on his wine glass looking almost ashamed. “She convinced me that I could be a good person, that I was nothing like our father and that I could trust myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never let myself get emotionally attached to a woman before; I’ve never trusted myself enough to know that I wouldn’t hurt them. My feelings for you frightened me, Emily. I have never felt a connection like ours before; I didn’t know it was even possible to be so drawn to another being. So, I tried to stop myself from falling for you, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Why would you hurt me?”

“All I’ve ever known of marriage and partnership is a drunk who regularly slept with other women and broke my mother’s heart over and over. I saw her tears each time and I felt her pain. I don’t want to be responsible for inflicting that on you.”

“And you wouldn’t. I trust you.”

“How do I know that I won’t turn out like him? So far I haven’t proved myself to be much different. I was afraid to get close to you. Especially when I learned about Maia.”

“I thought you accepted us both?” I asked, the gut wrenching fear of his rejection evident in my voice.

“Natalie talked some sense into me and encouraged me to talk to you, she wasn’t happy when I revealed that I would only tell you the whole truth, but she trusts me. She made me realise that just because I had never had a worthy role model, it didn’t mean that I couldn’t be one for Maia. I suppose that’s why I enjoyed tucking her into bed tonight, to prove to myself that I can be a good person, to prove that I have a compassionate side, even if I don’t show it often.” His eyes dropped to his glass once more before they closed as he took a large gulp of wine.

“I see nothing but compassion in you, Julian,” I soothed.

“Even when you saw what I did to that man at the club when he touched you?” He snorted and shook his head before raking his hand roughly through his hair. “That was disgusting, how could I have let you see that? That’s why I couldn’t trust myself with you, I had already proven I was a monster and we had only just met.”

“But you did it for me, Julian. I saw your compassion for
me
. Yes, what you did was wrong but you did it for the right reasons. No man has ever taken a stand for me like you did that night.” I saw a spark of excitement flash across his eyes as his eyebrows raised, suggestively.

“Does that mean I’m forgiven?” he asked as a sexy smile played across his lips.

“Yes, Julian. You are forgiven.”

“Then let me take you to my bed.” My heart stuttered and my breathing actually stopped for a few seconds.

“Was that a request?” I breathed, trying my very hardest to sound just a little seductive. “Or an order?”

Julian’s eyes widened and I heard the air leave his lungs in the form of a sigh. Obviously my attempt at a seductive joke wasn’t amusing. “A request, Emily. It will never be an order. Never.”

“Then, yes.”

I saw a mixture of relief and excitement in his eyes as he stood up swiftly. He leaned towards me, his fists pushing into the sofa on either side of my thighs as he pressed a gentle kiss against my lips.

“Wait here,” he ordered and I nodded once in response.

About five minutes had passed and there was still no sight of Julian. I had no idea why he had insisted on entering his bedroom alone and I didn’t waste too much time wondering. My mind was far too occupied with thoughts of what I had just agreed to.

I wanted Julian. I wanted to give myself to him, but I was nervous to say the least. My stomach clenched and churned and I began to feel slightly sick. What if I wasn’t good enough for him? After all, I’m sure he had had his fair share of women in his bed and I knew nothing of how to please a man in that department. And I wanted nothing more than to please him.

I heard Julian’s returning footsteps behind me and I couldn’t bring myself to turn to look at him. I downed the remainder of my wine and pushed the empty glass hastily onto the coffee table. When I looked up Julian was standing over me, smiling broadly with a wicked glint in his eyes.

“You sure you want this?” he asked in a soft, soothing voice.

Was I sure? I was sure that I wanted him, there was no doubt of that, but I wasn’t sure he would want me again after tonight. I took a deep, shaky breath.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I whispered.

Julian’s smile widened as he leaned down to where I still sat and placed a strong arm around my back – the other winding under my knees – and lifted me effortlessly, cradling me against his chest. He pressed his lips firmly against mine and held them in place as he walked towards his bedroom. He placed me gently on his bed before removing his lips from mine. I leant up onto my elbows to look at him and gasped aloud as I saw what was waiting for me. Spaced evenly on every surface were small, flickering candles, illuminating the space perfectly. So that’s why he had come in here alone, he really was trying to make it special. Not that any amount of candles could take my attention away from Julian, but it was warming to see how much he cared. The bed on which I lay was huge, possibly even bigger than the one in the guest room and was dressed in brilliant, crisp white sheets. The decor and furnishings surprised me the most. As if in complete contrast to the warm, homely living area, this entire room was made up of greys and whites. Two of the large walls were pure, brilliant white with a third wall in a dusky grey. Large black and white photos hung on the walls, their content unclear in the dim lighting. 

I suddenly felt very exposed at the lack of privacy in this room. I know we were high in the air but I still couldn’t shake the thought of someone seeing me and there didn’t appear to be a blind of any sort in sight. Julian followed my concerned gaze and smiled gently.

“No one can see you this high up, you know. Not unless they fly a helicopter up, at which point we might notice,” he grinned, his voice laced with sarcasm. I smiled shyly in response as my cheeks heated. Julian moved to the bedside cabinet and opened a drawer.

“Here,” he said, holding out a squared object which appeared to house two single buttons. “Press the one on the right.”

“Why? What does it do?”

“Just do it.” He turned in the direction of the window. I followed his gaze and pressed the grey button on the right. My mouth dropped open as I watched the glass gradually frost, as if a wave of ice were sweeping across it from left to right.

“There, now even the helicopters can’t see you.” he grinned. “Do you need to use the bathroom or anything?” That was one of those things that you didn’t notice yourself until it was pointed out to you and made obvious.

“Um... Yes.”

Julian pointed me in the direction of his en suite bathroom – which was bigger than my own bedroom at home – and I frantically tried to freshen myself up. I wiped with tissue under my eyes to remove the slightly smudged appearance of my eye pencil and searched for some mouthwash under the sink. When I returned to the bedroom Julian was perched on the edge of his bed removing his shoes. My stomach dropped at the sight of him before me. No longer Mr Julian Scott, cold and professional, but just Julian,
my
Julian, about to give himself to me.

As I stood in the bathroom doorway, watching him as he placed his shoes against the wall, he turned and caught me staring. I smiled and bit down on my lower lip.

“Come here,” he coaxed as he held an arm out in invitation.

I walked slowly over to where he stood, taking care of my every movement as I tried to walk as elegantly as I could. I stopped in front of him and smiled slightly, inhaling deeply to steady myself. His hand cupped around the back of my neck, his fingers tangling into the hair at my nape.