Freed by You (18 page)

“Relax, Emily,” he said as he leaned in and kissed me, tenderly.

I returned his kiss and soon his free hand was exploring my torso, trailing across my lower back and up over my ribs before passing gently over my left breast and up to my face. As his fingertips passed over my breast a second time my breath hitched at his touch and I heard his sharp intake of breath. His kiss instantly grew more fierce and he walked me backward to the bed, lowering me gently – his lips never leaving mine – until I was perched on the edge with him crouched between my knees.

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered against my lips.

“What?”

“Tell me what you want, Emily,” he repeated.

“I want you, Julian.” I gasped as his lips kissed and sucked gently at the skin of my neck.

“That’s not what I meant,” he continued between kisses. “We take this at your pace, Emily. Tell me what your desires are, what would you like me to do?”

My heart pounded even harder, if that was even possible, as panic coursed through me. I had never done this before, I wasn’t about to start telling him how to do it, he knew best surely? And besides, I had no idea of what I liked and what I didn’t.

“I don’t know, Julian. You’ve done this before, I haven’t,” I replied, my voice cracking slightly.

“I haven’t done
this
before. This is a first for me,” he whispered against my neck.

I pulled back, pushing my hands against his shoulders so I had a clear view of his face.

“What? What are you talking about? Don’t try to tell me you’re a virgin.” I grinned. A laugh escaped his mouth and I could tell by his expression that he had not voluntarily allowed it.

“No, Emily, I’m no virgin but when I told you I didn’t do romance I meant it. I’ve never made love to a woman before; I’ve never met anyone worthy of it until now.” His sheer sincerity was evident in his eyes and I knew he meant every word of what he was telling me. “And I’m handing the control over to you,” he continued as his lips found my neck again. “Which is another first; please tell me what you’d like?”

As his lips sucked at my sensitised skin my head rolled back and a small groan sounded from my throat.

“I don’t want control, Julian. You keep it,” I whispered.

“Then tell me that. I need to hear you say it.”

“Julian, please,” I begged, the suspense slowly killing me. “Take control.”

As soon as I spoke the words his lips found mine and he was kissing me urgently. His hands gripped my hips and he thrust me towards the middle of his bed before kneeling over me with one leg between mine and the other beside me. He supported his heavy weight with his elbows, being careful not to restrict me. He continued with his kiss as he shifted his weight onto a single elbow and his now free hand began stroking at my ribs before travelling down to my thigh where he clutched gently and lifted until my leg was wrapped around his behind.

“God, I can’t wait to be inside you,” Julian groaned as his hand squeezed at my hip.

I kissed him back almost desperately, silently begging him to undress me and make me his own. My fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to me. He pressed himself firmly against me and I could feel the evidence of his arousal against my upper thigh. There was once a time where this would have repulsed me, to see, to feel a man’s arousal over me, but somehow with Julian it was different. It excited me to feel his arousal and I was ecstatic that I could have this effect on him.

My hands travelled down his muscular back and stopped at his backside, pushing him harder against me as I raised my own hips to greet his. A soft groan rumbled deep in his throat and I smiled against his lips at my success.

“Ah, Emily, what are you doing to me?” he groaned as he broke his kiss and positioned himself to look at me.

His words momentarily gutted me.

“What did I do?” I panted, a wave of panic coursing through me as I feared I was failing to please him somehow.

“You make me want you like I’ve never wanted anything in my entire life. How do you do this to me?”

“Then have me, Julian.”

I noted his sharp intake of breath once more at my words as he plunged forward and pressed a single kiss against my swollen lips. He sat up and, without taking his eyes off mine, he began to slowly unbutton his shirt. This was the first time I noticed that he was no longer wearing his blue tie, he must have removed it whilst I was in the bathroom, I thought. As his shirt glided down his arms my heart skipped and I had to force myself to breathe again. Every inch of his torso was perfectly toned and defined. His shoulders were broader than I had imagined on many of occasions and his upper arms housed strong, defined muscles that flexed powerfully as he strained to pull the cuffs of his shirt over his hands. Wow! He was an extraordinarily beautiful human being.

I reached my hand up and began to trace the lines across his abdomen and up towards his chest. His eyes closed momentarily as he inhaled deeply in response to my touch. I sat up so that my face was close to his and explored his fine body with both hands, moving round to his back and gently stroking his smooth skin. His hands snaked around to my back and his fingers clutched at the zip of my dress. His eyes searched mine as he waited for my permission. I leaned into him and kissed him deeply, granting him what he desired.

I was now straddling his lap and pulling him close to me, my body was flush against his naked chest, but somehow I still didn’t feel close enough to him. I pulled him against me even closer, if that was even possible. He slowly lowered the zip of my dress, his fingertips caressing down my spine, before wrapping his arms tightly around my lower back and standing with me.

When he stood me on the floor beside the bed, my legs felt weak. I felt as though I was unable to simply stand alone without his assistance as my knees trembled beneath my weight. His hands trailed down to my waist and he slowly turned me so that my back was against his chest. One of his hands gently brushed my hair over my shoulder to my front while the other sat motionless, lying flat across my abdomen, gently pressing me back against him as his soft lips explored my upper back and shoulders. I shuddered as a chill spread down the length of my spine in response to his soft kisses.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, his lips leaving my skin momentarily.

“Yes.”

“Good, because I’m going to have you now, Emily.”

Oh God! My lower muscles clenched at the sound of his breathy words in my ear. How could even his voice arouse me?

“And I trust that you’ll tell me at any point if you feel uncomfortable in any way, physically or otherwise?”

“I promise,” I breathed, my eyes rolling back and closing at the feel of his warm breath spreading across my neck.

“Good girl.”

My stomach dropped at his choice of words as an old haunting memory invaded my thoughts. I hadn’t realised that my back had stiffened until Julian stopped his sensual torture on my upper spine.

“What’s wrong?” he asked me, his tone authoritative.

“Um... Nothing, it’s fine.”

“What’s fine, exactly? You promised, Emily. What did I do?”

“Sorry. It was just your choice of words, that’s all. Don’t worry about it,” I pleaded, desperate for him to carry on, to feel his mouth against my skin.

He turned me back to face him, his expression was one of uncertainty, his eyes questioning. “What words, Emily?”

“Um... You said good girl.” How stupid did that actually just sound out loud? “You weren’t to know, Julian, it’s fine honestly. Please, don’t let this ruin the moment.”

“And let me guess, you’ve had those words said to you before but from a disgusting mouth,” he snapped.

His nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply and his eyes stared menacingly at the wall behind me, his jaw tensed.

“Julian, please. Let’s not bring this up. You asked me to tell you if something made me uncomfortable so I did. I’m sorry, please, Julian,” I pleaded, twisting my fingers into his hair and encouraging his head to mine.

“Don’t ever apologise for being honest with me, Emily. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”  He ran his fingertips slowly down my cheek and across my jaw. His eyes calmed as he looked at me and his expression softened. “I promise you, Emily, I will replace your terrifying memories with nothing but pleasurable ones. If you’ll let me.”

“Kiss me.”

His lips were against mine in an instant, pressing firmly and moving quickly. His fingers grasped at my slightly lowered zip once more and I felt his finger brush down my lower spine as he lowered the zip to the bottom. Both hands moved up to the fabric at my shoulders.

“May I?” he whispered without removing his lips from mine.

“Yes.”

As my dress pooled at my feet I was suddenly aware of the fact that I was more naked than he was, standing only in my laced bra and matching thong. I silently thanked The Heavens that I had decided to wear my best underwear tonight. He lowered his head, tearing his mouth away from mine, and his eyes travelled down my body as I blushed.

“Stop blushing, Emily. You are absolutely stunning,” he breathed as his hands and eyes travelled together on my body, tracing my curves at my waist.

“But I’m slightly more naked than you are right now,” I grinned, making my statement sound more like a challenge.

“Well, that’s a predicament you can easily solve.” A single one of his eyebrows raised in a suggestive manner as he flashed a lopsided smile at me.

He pulled my mouth to his and my hands stroked over his chest and then down along his ribs until they reached the waistband of his trousers. My heart began to pound as I realised the fact that I had never undressed a man before. My fingers lingered against his belt probably longer than they should have as Julian began to unfasten it himself.

“Let me,” I whispered as my hand took his place and I fumbled clumsily with the buckle.

After what seemed like a long time, his belt was open, revealing his button beneath it. This I could do easily, surely. To my surprise I managed it with only one hand and then I proceeded to lower his zip. He inhaled sharply as my fingertips brushed down the length of his erection as I pulled at the zip.

“May I?” I teased as I rested my fingers inside the waistband at his hips, readying myself to push them down.

“Absolutely,” he panted against my lips. “And do hurry, Emily. You’re killing me here.”

I pushed his trousers lower until they passed his upper thighs and fell effortlessly to the ground and I silently thanked The Heavens once more that he was wearing loose trousers as opposed to stiff jeans that surely would have proved to be considerably more difficult to manoeuvre down his powerful thighs.

He continued with his teasing kisses and gentle sucks on my neck as he unclasped my bra expertly with one hand. He had certainly practised that move before! Then he slowly removed my thong, teasing it gently down my thighs as he bent and followed its trail with his mouth, nipping and kissing at the length of my legs, down one and up the other.

My pulse accelerated at the sight of him kneeling before me and my skin heated as I silently pleaded that he wasn’t going where I thought he was going with his mouth – that would be far too humiliating for me on our first time together. Much to my relief, he straightened and coaxed me back onto the bed, hastily removing his tight boxer shorts as he moved. He rested between my thighs as his mouth gently teased my breast, licking and gently sucking and I moaned in delight. I thrust my hips toward him in response and he stopped. I opened my eyes.

“I’m assuming you’re not taking a contraceptive pill?”

“No, I am. I mean, yes I am,” I stammered.

I noticed a small furrow appear between his brows before he pressed his mouth greedily to mine. Then I felt his erection pressing firmly between my thighs as his breathing grew more frantic.

“You okay?” he breathed.

“Yes,” was all I could manage; the suspension was becoming more than I could bear, my body ached for him.

“You sure you’re ready for this?”

“It’s a bit late for that, Julian.”

“It’s never too late to say no, Emily.” His voice was husky and altogether sexy as hell as he spoke through his heavy breaths.

“Julian, I’m sure. I want you.”

With that, Julian shifted his weight onto a single elbow and his other hand travelled downwards slowly, until it reached its destination. I moaned, louder this time, as his fingers circled against me in a sensuous rhythm. My breath hitched as he applied more pressure before gently entering me with his finger, mimicking the same circular movement.

His lips moved hungrily against mine and I found myself only vaguely aware of his movement as his mouth found my neck. I could feel my inner muscles clenching tightly as I felt something building inside of me. I tensed my legs, unsure of what exactly was building and honestly feeling slightly frightened of the pressure I could feel inside. His teeth gently grazed against the skin at the crook of my neck and my body shuddered as I moaned loudly.

“Relax, baby.” His voice was a breathy whisper and as his words sounded against my ear I let go and fell apart, my body trembling heavily with sheer pleasure.

Wow! Just…
Wow!

As my body calmed, I opened my eyes to see Julian hovering over me with a triumphant smile playing across his plump lips.

“You okay?” he asked as his hands gently stroked through my hair.

“Better than okay,” I whispered, blushing deeply as I tried to control my wide smile.

Julian’s fingers entwined with my hair as his elbows, again, rested on the mattress beside my shoulders, supporting his weight. I noticed as his eyes heated and instead of kissing me as I expected, he held my gaze as he gently prodded the tip of his erection against my opening. I realised he was watching my every reaction, my every expression.

“You promise you’ll tell me to stop if I hurt you.”

Oh? So that wasn’t the end of it then? Was it even possible for my body to feel any more pleasure while my legs still twitched slightly at his contact?

“I promise.”

He continued to watch my face, searching my eyes as he pushed gently into me. My eyes involuntarily narrowed slightly at the unfamiliar feeling and he froze instantly.