Freed by You (25 page)

“I’m sure when you’re dating the boss it won’t hurt to be late, Emily. Wait for him, it’s cold out.”

“I’m not going to take advantage, Sam. Just let him know I’ve gone. Call me if you need me,” I urged as I disappeared into the hallway and reached for my scarf. “Don’t wait up!”

I closed the door quietly behind me and paused to listen to the clicking sound that meant Samantha had locked the door behind me and then made my way down the steps leading to the quiet street. Samantha hadn’t been wrong, it was freezing. The crisp wind was fierce against my cheeks. I snuggled my chin lower into the protection of my scarf and shoved my hands into my pockets.

As I got to the end of my road I was surprised to see the number of cars that were still queuing heavily on the next street. It wasn’t usually this busy at this time. Car horns sounded loudly as the traffic was at a complete standstill. My eyes rapidly scanned each car as I walked, hoping to see the Bentley. Surely Julian had been held up in the traffic, but wouldn’t he have called?

A wave of unease washed over my body and a wracking shiver coursed down my spine as I noticed the blue flashes in the distance. I always did this, each time I saw flashing lights or heard their deafening sirens, I automatically thought the worst. I imagined all the possibilities of where that emergency vehicle could be headed, and who for. I shook my head with a frown but quickened my pace anyway.

There was still no sign of Julian as I neared the lights. I tried to avert my eyes to anywhere but an accident scene as I realised I was going to have to walk right past it. The first vehicle I noticed was a police car, followed by another. And then an ambulance. Before I reached the site the ambulance pulled away from the curb and began on its way in the opposite direction. Its lights flashed but there was no noise. No sirens? I suppose that was either a good sign or a very bad one.

I pushed through the crowd of gathered people, eager to pass without looking, in fear of what I might see, but my eyes were drawn involuntarily to the crumpled mess beside me. My stomach lunged and my breathing stopped altogether as I pushed forward to get a second glance. My mind must be playing tricks on me, surely? Those scattered pieces of glimmering black metal couldn’t belong to his car. The smashed up mass beside me couldn’t be his car.

I pushed through the final row of people and my mouth opened and a loud scream escaped before I could control it. My knees buckled underneath my weight and I noticed a short man in a police uniform as his arms reached out towards me to stop my descent to the ground.

“Miss? What is it? Do you know who this car belongs to?” The policeman pressed.

My mouth opened but no words came out. I was frozen. Standing in the arms of a man I had never met, and I was frozen, unable to move a muscle.

“Miss? Do you know this car?”

“It’s Julian’s car. Julian Scott.” Tears sprang to my eyes as I heard my words aloud, like they somehow made it real. “What happened? Where is he?” I sobbed through my heaving chest as I pushed his arms away from me.

He simply looked at me, his eyes full of empathy, his forehead creased deeply with his frown. And then it hit me, the ambulance, the lights, no sirens. No sirens!

“Oh, God, please, no!” I wailed. “Please tell me he isn’t...” I trailed off, unable to speak the word aloud.

“I’m sorry, Miss. The driver was pronounced dead at the scene,” he stated matter-of-factly, his tone apparently empty of any emotion.

I simply stared at the remains of Julian’s beautiful car through the tear pools in my eyes. Then my knees buckled once more, and this time no one caught my fall as I slumped heavily to the ground, my stomach heaving as thick, bitter tasting bile rose in my throat.

“He can’t be...” I screamed as I felt the officer’s arms pulling heavily at my waist.

“Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to move back. Is there anyone I can call for you?” he asked as he stood me on my feet.

My legs trembled under their unfamiliar weight. “Natalie!”

The horror of the situation struck me all at once as I realised I had to get to Natalie. His sister, who had risked everything to be with him. I had to find her. I turned and forced my legs to move as I pushed through the crowd of onlookers, each one following me with their sympathetic eyes.

“Move!” I screamed as my arms frantically waded through the bodies.

I ran as fast I was able until I reached the front steps of The Lounge. I pulled at the heavy door but to no avail, it was locked. I pounded my fist heavily against the metal as it thrashed under my force. As soon as the door opened I hurled myself inside, straight into the chest of Ryan.

“Whoa! Emily, what’s up?” he asked as he held the top of my arms to steady my balance.

“Is Natalie here? I need to see Natalie,” I panted.

“She’s in the bar. What’s happened? You okay?” he pressed.

I ignored his desperate questions and headed straight across the dance floor to the bar where Natalie was neatly lining up a row of wine glasses, completely unaware of the devastation I was about to inflict on her.

“Natalie,” I puffed, “I need to tell you something.”

She spun around to face me and her glorious smile quickly turned to a grim line.

“Holy shit, Emily. What the fuck?” Shallow lines covered her forehead as she looked at me in complete shock, her eyes urgently searching mine.

“Natalie, it’s Julian.” A loud sob hurled out of my mouth as my stomach heaved once more.

“What, Emily? What the fuck is going on?” she urged, her voice thick with desperation.

I opened my mouth slowly, trying to hear the words in my head before speaking them. How could I tell her that her brother – the only person she had in the world – had just been killed?

A loud thud of the door being flung open startled me and I lost my words. I continued to watch Natalie as she glanced at whoever was entering the room, her eyes narrowed, questioning as she raised a single brow and shrugged her shoulders dramatically.

“Emily!” His voice sounded loudly from behind me and I froze, my mouth hanging open as I held my speech. My heart pounded against my chest at the familiar tone accompanied by the sound of heavy footsteps moving rapidly across the wooden floor.

“Emily! What the hell has happened?”

My heart wrenched as I heard his voice again, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to wake from this obvious daydream. He was here!
Was
he here? As I stood, still gawping lifelessly at Natalie, familiar strong hands gripped my shoulders and twisted me until I was facing him.

I looked up into the most beautiful, perfect green eyes.

“Julian?” I whispered, still frightened to move in case this was indeed a dream.

“Yes, it’s me. What the fuck has happened to you, Emily? Tell me!” He was almost shouting. His tone was stern and authoritative. The same tone I knew and loved.

“Julian!” I screeched as I reached up to him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.

“Emily, it’s me. I’m here. What’s going on?”

I have never felt anything as powerful as the relief I felt as I held him in my arms, inhaling deeply as I filled my senses with his scent. A scent that I thought I would never inhale again. That was Julian’s car, I was sure of it.

“Emily, did he do something to you?” Julian hissed through his tightly clenched teeth.

“What? No one did anything,” I stammered.

Who? Who was he talking about?

“Emily, you’re not making any sense. Where is Jason?”

“Jason?”

“Yes, Jason.” He roared, making me startle and gasp aloud. “Where is he? Maybe I’ll get more sense out of him right now.”

“How would I know?” I asked, feeling a little bewildered and out of sorts.

“He came to pick you up, didn’t he? Didn’t you get my message?”

My mouth dropped open as reality began to hit me, slowly. “What message?”

I grabbed my phone out of my bag and clicked on the message icon. Sure enough there was an unread text – sender, Julian. How could I not have seen this earlier?

‘Emily, I’ve been held up at the club. I’m sending Jason to you now. See you shortly, baby. Yours, Julian. X’

A single tear rolled down my cheek as I read his words.

“Emily, please!”

“Did Jason take your car?” I choked as my voice thickened with tears.

“Yes. You mean he didn’t collect you?”

“No, I walked. Julian, there was an accident,” I stammered.

“What accident? Emily!” He was shouting now as his hands shook my shoulders as if to snap me back to life again.

“Your car, Julian. I thought it was you, I thought you were dead.” Julian’s eyes widened as my revelation began to sink in. “It was Jason?”

“Fuck! Where was it, Emily.” He released his grip on me and started across the dance floor in a hurried pace.

“Julian, stop. Wait!” I begged as I caught up with him. “Julian, he’s dead. I’m so sorry!”

Yet another loud sob burst from my chest as every muscle in Julian’s face dropped as he stared, seemingly, right through me.

“How? How could you possibly know that?” he whispered.

“I thought it was you! The police officer told me the driver was pronounced dead at the scene. I saw the ambulance leave.”

“Fuck!” he roared as he twisted and threw his fist into the wall behind him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he repeated with each following crushing blow.

“Julian. Baby, stop.” I pushed my body into the gap between him and the wall that he was assaulting.

I noticed the thick streams of blood flowing down his long fingers as he withdrew his hand.

“Julian, it’s okay. Please, don’t hurt yourself,” I begged as I circled my arms around his neck and coaxed his head towards mine with a hand.

His forehead rested heavily against mine for what seemed like a long time as his breathing slowed and his shaking body calmed.

“Let’s go and clean that up.” I gently took his hand in mine and placed an arm around his back, walking with him towards the office as he stared vacantly ahead of him.

The following few days seemed to pass by in a blur. Julian insisted that I went to classes as usual and he spent the majority of his time closed in his office snapping and shouting his orders to whoever he was talking to on the phone.

He hadn’t touched me since our last night in France. I hadn’t seen his wanting eyes, hadn’t felt his strong embrace. And I missed him. He had insisted that I stay at his apartment with Maia, but I had no idea why.

I picked up the cup of strong coffee and pressed my ear to his office door. When I was satisfied he wasn’t on the phone, I knocked gently.

“Come in,” Julian snapped. I could hear his irritation in his voice.

“I’ve made you a coffee,” I stated as I looked into his vacant eyes. “You okay?”

It was clear to anybody that he was far from okay, but Julian being Julian, he kept his feelings under wraps and refused to show a single ounce of emotion, despite the fact that one of his oldest and closest friends had just been tragically killed.

“I’m fine, thanks. Just put it on there.” He pointed his chin towards the desk before quickly snapping the screen closed on his laptop that occupied it.

“Julian, you’re not fine. You can talk to me, you know.”

“I don’t need to talk, Emily. Right now I need to be left alone to work!”

Ouch!
That hurt more than I thought possible. I recognised the all too familiar sting as tears pricked at my eyes.

“I know you’re hurting right now, Julian, and I’m here for you if and when you need me, but you seem to want to be by yourself at the moment,” my voice broke as I spoke, revealing my devastation at his rejection, as selfish as it was, “so, I’m going to go home. You know where to find me if you need me.”

His hand gripped around the arm of his chair and I watched his knuckles slowly turn from pink to white as I spoke.

“You’re not going anywhere, Emily. Sit down,” he ordered, his eyes never leaving his hand.

“Julian, please don’t speak to me like that.”

His hand slammed against the wooden desk before him and his head snapped up. His eyes finally made contact with mine for possibly the first time since the accident.

“Sit the fuck down!” he roared.

His raised voice startled me and I couldn’t hold my tears any longer.

“I’m sorry, Julian. I’ve got to go,” I whispered through my tears.

I turned and left his office and walked straight to the bedroom without glancing behind me. I slammed the door and slumped onto the bed –
our
bed – and cried heavily. I wiped at my eyes hastily with the back of my hand as the door opened and Julian waltzed in without hesitation.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped like that.”

“It’s fine, Julian. You grieve however you need to grieve, but I can’t hang around to be kicked to the curb every time I speak. I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

I grabbed my case from the wardrobe and began taking my clothes off the hangers and folding them into the case.

“Emily, will you stop and I’ll explain.”

“Explain what, Julian?” I snapped as I threw a garment of clothing onto the floor and slammed my case shut. “Explain that you blame me for what happened to Jason? Explain that if it hadn’t have been for me Jason would never have been in that car? Do you not think I already know all that, Julian?” I screamed at him.

I should probably be more sensitive to his feelings but I was struggling. Struggling to watch the man I loved so dearly hurting so much. Struggling with my own guilt at my part in this.

“Is that really what you think?” he choked, looking completely bewildered, which was the first emotional reaction I had witnessed on his expressionless face for days.

“Yes, that’s what I think, because it’s true! And that’s exactly why you can’t even look at me, exactly why you haven’t even touched me since it happened.”

Julian crossed the room to where I stood in two long strides and placed his hands on either side of my face, holding it firmly in place.

“I am looking at you now, Emily. None of this is your fault. Do you understand?”

“Only, if he hadn’t have been coming to get me, he would still be alive now, wouldn’t he?”