Fraser 03 - Highland Homecoming (14 page)

Chapter 15

Edina clung to Alasdair’s tunic and her lips parted, welcoming his kiss with equal enthusiasm. She tasted even sweeter than he remembered, and his groin stirred, the tantalizing scent of heather and lavender making his head spin. He wanted her more than his next breath, and damned the consequences.

A voice inside his head told him this was wrong. He had no intention of taking a bride and had no right to lead Edina on. He battled the desire and lust coursing though his veins, but she affected him in ways no woman had ever done before.

Heaven help him.

He fisted one hand in her silky, flaxen tresses, holding her head in place, while he slid his other palm along her spine, coming to rest on her bottom. They fit together so perfectly, he’d swear she’d been tailored for him and him alone. Could she feel his heart pounding against his ribs like a beast trying to break free?

He cursed beneath his breath and broke the kiss as reality, not to mention, his senses, slowly returned. She was betrothed to another man and would never belong to him. He held her at arm’s length. “Forgive me, Edina. It appears I again find myself guilty of taking liberties I have no right tae take. Were your father tae return and catch us together in an embrace, everything we have done tae clear our names would be for naught.”

Despite his effort to put some distance between them, Edina refused to let go of his shirt. “You are obviously attracted tae me, Alasdair. Why else would you kiss me with such passion? I must confess, I find you quite pleasing, and have since I was a wee lass. But I was not sure you felt the same way about me. I was after all quite a homely bairn.” Her bottom lip quivered as she lowered her gaze, but her grip on his garment held firm.

For a moment Alasdair saw before him a spindly, seven-year-old, freckle-faced lass, with stringy blond hair, huge hazel eyes, and a toothless grin. He gave his head a sharp shake and the image of a beautiful, beguiling woman returned.

“Neither of us was what one would call comely, especially me. You are breathtaking now, Edina.”

“As are you, m’lord.” She stroked his beard-stubbled cheek. “I always found you appealing. Even when you called me a pest.” She raised her chin and smiled.

His heart twisted and his stomach clenched. Turning his back on Edina and leaving Sinclair Castle was not going to be easy. “I was a tall, lanky, lad, naught but skin and bones. I find it hard tae believe any lass would find me attractive.”

She placed two fingers against his lips. “You’re wrong. I found you quite handsome and even . . .” Her voice trailed off as she lowered her head.

“Even what?” Alasdair lifted her chin.

Tears welled in her eyes but she managed to hold them at bay. “I hoped that some day we might marry. I know it tae be a foolish notion, given I wasna a bonny lass and you were the son of one of the most powerful lairds in all the Highlands. Jayden teased me relentlessly about my crush. But I once overheard our fathers talking about the possibility of our union and it gave me hope.”

“I wasna aware of such a pact. Not until Jayden mentioned it. Our fathers were friends, but as the second son, I was tanist tae my older brother. Had he not died along with our father at Berwick on Tweed, he would now sit as laird of Clan Fraser. Mayhap he would have been your husband.”

Edina crossed herself. “Forgive me for saying this, but your brother is dead and you are now the eldest son. I am sure if you asked my da, he would give consent.”

Alasdair backed away and shook his head. “Nay. I might be the eldest son, but my brother, Connor, is laird of Clan Fraser. I have no wealth, land, or title, so our joining would serve no purpose. Not like a marriage between you and Duncan Sutherland.” He stared into eyes filled with anticipation, and wished he could tell her what she wanted to hear. But there was no future for them. Every moment he remained in her presence made it more difficult for him to leave.

He squared his shoulders and held her at arm’s length. “Your hand has been promised to Sutherland and you must honor your father’s wishes. I have no desire tae marry and will be leaving tae rejoin the cause verra soon. That is where my destiny lies,” he concluded with conviction and in hopes of putting an end to his attraction to the lass and she to him.

“It doesna have tae be that way. I would gladly run away with you if you were tae ask. I would make you a good wife, I promise. In time you might even come tae love me. Please give it some thought.”

If only she knew his true feelings.

He heard the desperation in her voice, but had to remain strong. “My mind is set, Edina, and your father wouldna stand for your defiance. He’d hunt us both down and see me hanged. There is nothing I can do tae change what is about tae take place. Jayden is right, best you accept your fate and prepare for Duncan’s arrival.” He spun around and strode out of the chamber.

Dashing Edina’s dreams and leaving her standing there was difficult. But there was no choice and a clean break was for the best. Or so he tried to convince himself as he raced down the stairs and into the great hall, searching for a tankard of ale, mayhap many, given the way he was feeling. Helpless and defeated were two emotions he was not accustomed to and he did not like either in the least.

“Did you settle things with my sister?” Jayden asked as he joined Alasdair in the great hall and motioned for him to sit at the table. He opened the clay jug he carried and poured the content into two tankards.

“What have you there?” Alasdair reached for the pewter cup.

“Uisge beatha, the water of life and the finest whisky in all of Scotland. You look like you could use some.”

Alasdair snatched a tankard and downed the content in one gulp. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then held the vessel out in Jayden’s direction. “More.”

After obliging his friend’s request, Jayden sat back in his chair, and sipped on his own drink. “Your mood is foul. The conversation you had with Edina must not have gone well.”

“It went fine.” Alasdair emptied his tankard for the second time and held it out to Jayden again. “Things are as they should be and I dinna want tae talk about it anymore.”

Jayden poured another drink for each of them. “At this rate I will have tae carry you tae your chamber.” He laughed.

Alasdair narrowed his eyes and glared at his friend. “I willna need you tae carry me anywhere,” he growled. “If you dinna wish tae share, I can find my spirits elsewhere.”

“Nay. That willna be necessary.” Jayden raised his hands in a gesture of compliance. “Have all you want.” He pushed the jug across the table toward Alasdair, then rocked back in his chair. “You’re a grown man and know your limits. If you wish tae drink yourself senseless, I willna stand in your way.” He hesitated a minute before asking. “Were we wrong tae believe there was nothing between you and Edina?”

Alasdair slammed the tankard on the table, sprang to his feet, then planted both hands on the slab of oak and stared at Jayden. “I thought we were through with that discussion and had put it behind us?” he said through clenched teeth. “If you wish to end this matter once and for all, I will meet you outside in the lists.” He fingered the hilt of his sword.

Jayden placed his hand on Alasdair’s forearm. “Calm yourself, man. I am not saying you did anything tae defile my sister. But that doesna mean you dinna have feelings for her. Even if you willna admit tae them. I’ve seen the way you look at her. If you wish tae speak about it, I will keep your secret.”

“I have naught to discuss or tae hide. Edina is a beguiling lass, but she is betrothed to Sutherland and that isna about tae change. I have no plans to wed and intend tae rejoin Robert the Bruce in his quest tae rid Scotland of the English.”

“If you can wait tae leave until after the wedding, I will join you. I’m sure Robert will welcome another sword.”

Alasdair shifted in his chair. It was hard enough to imagine Edina in the arms of another man, but to attend the ceremony and hold his tongue was another story. “I canna make any promises.” He sat hard on the chair and picked up his tankard.

Edina paced her chamber like a cornered animal. She didn’t realize how much she cared for Alasdair until he’d stormed out of the room and possibly out of her life forever. Had she fallen in love with him?

While her heart fluttered every time he came near, the cadence of his deep voice made her swoon, and his touch excited her, she had tried to rationalize her response to him as being normal. He had saved her life and cared for her when she was injured. What she felt was gratitude. Wasn’t it?

She couldn’t believe she’d asked him to marry her. He must have thought her daft or at the least, a desperate fool.

“What am I tae do?” Edina muttered aloud.

“I beg your pardon, m’lady?”

Edina whipped around. “Helen. I dinna hear you knock.”

“I did, but you dinna reply so I assumed you dinna hear me.”

“What is it you want?” Edina asked, her mind still preoccupied with thoughts of Alasdair.

“The hour is late and your father sent me tae help you get ready for bed. You’ve had a verra busy day and you must be exhausted.” Helen crossed the chamber and took a nightrail from a hook on the wall. “Would you like me tae brush your lovely hair?”

“Nay,” Edina snapped, her response more abrupt than she intended. “I’m not tired and dinna need help getting ready for bed.”

Helen lowered her eyes. “I dinna mean to intrude.”

Remorse tugged at Edina’s belly. She had taken out her frustration with Alasdair and her upcoming wedding on her lady’s maid. The only person she could truly call a friend. Mayhap, the only person she could confide in and trust. “Forgive me, Helen. I dinna mean tae be rude or harsh with you. I have a lot on my mind, but had no right tae speak tae you the way I did.”

Helen bobbed a curtsy. “Och, you have naught tae apologize for. You have been through quite an ordeal and I hold no ill will against you.”

“Thank you.” Edina released a deep sigh and sat on the end of her bed. “I value your friendship and dinna mean tae be difficult. I would appreciate your help.”

Helen handed the nightrail to Edina. I’ve missed you verra much. It saddens me tae think you will only be home for a brief time. Your father said he expects your betrothed to arrive on the morrow and plans tae see you married as soon as possible.”

“I need no reminders.” Edina lowered her head, cradling it in her hands. “I must find a way tae get my da tae change his mind. I dinna wish tae marry Duncan.”

“I understand, and wouldna like tae be forced tae marry a man I dinna know or love. I am so fortunate. William and I have been betrothed since we were bairns. I love him with all my heart and could not bear tae marry another. He told me he feels the same way about me.”

“You are very lucky. I wish I had a choice,” Edina said, then smiled as an idea popped into her mind. “Did you not say Duncan Sutherland was once betrothed tae his cousin, a lass from the Clan Mackenzie?”

“Aye. He was tae marry her this summer, but those plans changed when his father made a pact with your da.” Helen shook her head. “The young laird must have been heartbroken when he learned of the arrangements.”

“It appears neither of us will be entering into this marriage of our own accord.” She paused and pressed her finger to the side of her nose. “Mayhap if the lass were here, Duncan may find the courage tae challenge his father’s decision.”

“What are you suggesting, m’lady?”

“I must find someone I can trust tae ride tae the Clan Mackenzie’s stronghold and convince the lass tae come afore the wedding takes place. Surely if Duncan loves her, he will fight for her hand and free me of my burden.”

“It might work, but is there time?” Helen asked. “I could ask William tae go.”

“Do you think he’d be willing tae help me?”

“If I ask him tae do it, I’m sure he will. He has a difficult time refusing me.” A blush rose in Helen’s cheeks. “If you wish, I can go and ask him now. The sooner he leaves the better.”

A knock on the door caused them both to turn. Jayden strolled into the chamber. “I thought you’d want tae know. A messenger arrived a few minutes ago from the Sutherland Clan. Duncan is expected tae arrive on the morrow.”

Edina’s heart sank. Time was running out. She turned to face Helen. “Could you see tae that matter we were discussing?”

Helen nodded. “Aye. I will take care of it right away.” She turned and scurried down the hall.

“Please make haste,” she called after the maid.

“Are you all right?” Jayden slid his hand over Edina’s shoulder. “You were verra upset with me earlier, and I canna say that I blame you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Edina replied softly.

“I wish there was something I could do tae get Da tae reconsider, but he is certain this marriage will benefit the clan and has given his word.”

Edina moved to a small casement window and peered into the bailey. “I believe the Almighty has a plan for me and He will decide my fate,” she replied.

“Please say yes, William,” she muttered under her breath as she watched Helen race across the bailey toward the cobbler’s wattle and daub hut.

Chapter 16

A rap on the door awakened Edina from a fitful sleep. Was it morning already? She felt as though her head had just touched the pillow. She opened heavy-lidded eyes and glanced around the room. Rays of sunlight slipped through the cracks around the shutters, heralding a new day. The dreaded day she’d meet her betrothed and her life would be changed forever.

It wasn’t too late to run. If she slipped out while many of the clan still slept and the men who were up and about were busy training in the lists, she could be miles away before anyone knew she was missing.

But where would she go? Alasdair was right. Her father would find her and bring her back to marry Duncan. Known for her temerity, she was not one to give up easily, but honestly saw no options but to comply with her father’s demands.

Another knock, a little louder than the first, caught her attention. “Who is it?”

“Helen. I’ve come tae help you dress. May I enter your chamber?”

Edina sat up and stretched. “Aye, come in.”

The door swung open with a loud creak when the maid entered. She carried a basin of water across the room, placed it on a small table by the window, then opened the shutters, and peered into the bailey. “It is going tae be a bonny day. I thought you might like tae freshen up afore you join your father in the great hall tae break your fast.”

“I dinna wish tae get up. Ever.” Edina flopped back on the mattress and covered her eyes with her forearm. “I am not ready for this day tae start. There is naught to look forward to, only heartache.”

Thoughts of Alasdair flooded her mind, the taste of his kisses, the possibility of a brighter future . . . had he felt the same way about her as she did him. But he’d made it clear he had no intent of complicating his life with a wife and bairns. He planned to rejoin the Bruce and she’d never see him again.

“You’re wrong, m’lady. Everyday we live is a blessing. The Almighty doesna give us more tae bear than we can handle.” Helen smiled and moved toward the bed.

“If only that were true.” Edina bowed her head and wrung her hands. “I have to face Callum today and I canna stand the sight of him. But I must be present when my father passes judgment and determines his fate. While the blackguard deserves tae be punished, it willna be an easy task for Da tae determine his fate. They have been friends for many years and he was verra disappointed tae learn he had been betrayed by Callum.”

Edina stood and joined Helen by the window. “Once that unsavory chore is done, I will spend the rest of my day waiting on tender hooks for Duncan tae arrive. Mayhap he will be delayed, or not come at all. One can only hope.”

Helen’s expression sobered. “You dinna hear? I was certain someone would have told you.”

“Told me what?” Edina asked. “I havena spoken tae anyone since Jayden left my chamber late last night.” Helen definitely had piqued her curiosity.

“Callum is dead, m’lady,” the maid blurted out.

“Dead? Are you certain, Helen?” Edina could not believe her ears.

“Aye. Apparently, he pretended he was ill, and attacked his guard when the sentry went to check on him. Laid the poor man’s head open with a wooden stool, he did, then made his escape.”

“If he got away, how do you know he’s dead?” Edina’s heart began to race. She remembered the look of pure evil on Callum’s face when she told her father what had happened on the ship. His threats to get even if she betrayed him were foremost in her mind. Would he make good on those threats?

“Several of your da’s men gave chase. They followed him ontae the cliffs and in his haste, Callum lost his footing and plunged to his death.” Helen crossed herself and muttered a prayer.

“Did anyone see the body?” Edina needed to be certain.

“Nay. It was verra dark, but the men tracking him said there was no way he could have survived such a fall. They will search for him today, but fear his remains have been washed out tae sea. In my opinion it was a fitting end after what he tried tae do tae you.”

Relief washed over Edina and she released the breath she’d been holding. “That may be, but it is a horrible way tae die.”

“And you think death by hanging is what he would have preferred?” Helen asked.

“What Callum did tae me and the duplicity is inexcusable, but I dinna believe my father would have sentenced him tae hang. He more than likely would have banished him, the humiliation and alienation from the clan being a fate worse than death.”

“It matters not. The scoundrel is dead, and I say good riddance.” Helen retrieved a kirtle, gown, and slippers from a shelf by the door. “Once you’ve washed up, you’d best be getting dressed. Your da and brother are waiting for you. And I am sure lord Alasdair will be there as well.” A grin tugged at her lips.

“I care not where Alasdair Fraser is or what he is doing.” Edina lied. “He can take up residence with the devil for all I care.”

Helen’s eyes widened. “Och, you shouldna say such things. I dinna mean tae upset you. I thought—”

“Well you thought wrong. What Alasdair does from here on is none of my concern.” She tugged the kirtle over her head and the gown followed.

“Forgive me. I suppose if you are getting married, thinking about another man wouldna be prudent.” Helen lowered her gaze and began to wring her hands.

Again remorse for overreacting and taking her frustration out on Helen seized Edina’s gut. “You have naught tae be sorry for, but beating this dead horse willna help. My only hope is that Duncan doesna want this union any more than I do, or that William can convince Duncan’s cousin tae come afore the wedding.”

“He left as soon as I bid him go. I hope he makes it in time,” Helen replied then crossed herself again. “The Almighty willing he will be successful in his quest.”

“I hope you’re right, Helen. I hope you’re right.

“Did you spend the entire night here?”

Alasdair struggled to open eyes that felt like anvils. He groaned aloud. “Leave me be, Jayden. Where I slept matters naught.” Why had his friend disturbed him? It had taken him all night to finally fall asleep.

“I dinna care where you slept, but it is time tae break our fast and you are sprawled out in my father’s chair. I expect him tae arrive any minute.” Jayden picked up an empty jug from the floor and place it on the trestle table beside another. “It appears you dinna spend the night entirely alone. You finished off one flagon of whisky, and nearly emptied another. I would imagine you must feel like you’ve been dragged behind a herd of wild horses.” He laughed.

Alasdair found no humor in his friend’s comments and wished he would lower his voice. Better yet, he wished Jayden would leave. “I can hold my spirits and feel fine,” he lied. In truth, his stomach roiled, his head was about to burst, and his mouth tasted like he’d been chewing on dry wood.

“Well if you ask me, you look a might green about the gills. My father will be here soon and Edina will be joining us. What will she think if she sees you are well in your cups at this hour of the day?”

Alasdair belched and spat on the floor. If possible, his mood soured even more than it was already. “No one asked you. I dinna care what she thinks. Once Duncan Sutherland arrives she will be busy planning her wedding.”

“Say what you want, but I know differently. You’re smitten with my sister, so there is no point denying it.”

“I’m not smitten with anyone. Besides, she is spoken for and her marriage to Sutherland will benefit both your clans,” Alasdair snapped. Were his true feelings for Edina that obvious?

“You look at her like a lovesick hound whenever she is around. I know she is promised tae Duncan, but if you wish tae offer for her hand, I can speak to Da on your behalf.”

“You’re wrong and know naught what you’re saying,” Alasdair replied curtly. “If you are truly my friend, you’ll drop the subject and mind your own affairs. Better yet, do your best tae convince Edina I am not the man for her and her marriage tae Duncan is a wise choice.” He almost choked on the bitter words.

Jayden slid his arms under Alasdair’s shoulders and hoisted him to his feet. “I’ll help you to your chamber so you can get some sleep. You may feel differently once you’ve rested and your mind has cleared.”

“I can rest from now until the day I die, but I willna change my mind. Women arena worth the trouble and your sister is no exception,” Alasdair growled. “Now if you will point me in the direction of my chamber, I will leave afore she arrives.” He reached for the near-empty jug, brought it to his lips, then cursed when Jayden snatched if from his hand.

“You’ll not be needing any more whisky. Come, I will show you tae your bed.” He clutched Alasdair’s arm in an attempt to lead the away, but he jerked free.

“I can walk on my own and dinna need a nursemaid.” Alasdair drew in a ragged breath, reclaimed the jug from Jayden’s hand, and took a wobbly step, followed by another. He staggered into the hall, but as fate would have it, Edina approached from the direction he was headed.

He cursed beneath his breath. There was no way he could avoid a conversation with the lass. He squared his shoulders, raked a shaky hand through his hair, and put on a false smile as
Edina and her maid drew nearer. “Good day, ladies.” Alasdair bowed, then stumbled, finding it hard to stand steady. “You look tae be in good health, Edina. I trust you slept well.” The words were slurred and even he could hear the hint of sarcasm in his tone.

“You’re drunk and smell like you slept in a vat of whisky.” Edina crinkled her nose, waved her hand in front of her face, and took a step back.

“Aye, but not drunk enough.” Alasdair brought the jug to his lips and took another swig. He swiped the back of his hand across his lips, then belched loudly. “Now if you lovely lassies will excuse me, my friend and I are going to my chamber.” He patted the jug, then took another sip.

“If you ask me, you’ve had quite enough,” Edina replied tersely.

The disapproval on her face spoke volumes, but Alasdair was beyond caring what she thought. Mayhap she would see him for who he truly was and be glad she was betrothed to Sutherland. “I dinna ask your opinion and dinna care what you think,” he replied, then muttered a ribald curse in a barely audible voice.

Edina’s eyes widened when Alasdair pushed past them. “How rude. Best you go and sleep it off,” she said as he staggered down the hall and out of sight.

“Oh my, he is quite unmannerly,” Helen remarked. “I can see why you wish tae distance yourself from the brute.”

“He has obviously imbibed too much of my father’s whisky. I have no doubt it was supplied by my brother.” Edina’s brow creased. When she met up with Jayden, she would tell him what she thought. “He is usually not so discourteous. He should—” How could she be defending Alasdair? She gave her head a shake. He cared not what happened to her and she needed to rid her mind of the man and concentrate on how she was going to convince Duncan this marriage was a mistake.

“Good morning, daughter.” Laird Sinclair strutted down the hall toward them. “Did you sleep well?”

Edina jumped, startled by her father’s presence. Had he witnessed the exchange between her and Alasdair? “I’m doing as well as can be expected given my life is about tae end.” She lowered her gaze and stepped aside so Laird Sinclair could pass.

“You are exaggerating, my dear. Marriage to Duncan Sutherland is the beginning of a new life and a union that will greatly benefit the clan. You should be proud and pleased he agreed tae be your husband.”

“I am not pleased and I dinna want tae wed Duncan or any man who is not of my choosing. I wish there was something I could do or say tae get you tae change your mind.” Edina brought her hands together as if in prayer and waited, hoping her father might show some indication he would reconsider.

“You have known since you were a wee bairn the day would come when a husband would be chosen for you. Now be a good lass and join me in the great hall. I asked Cook to prepare a special feast in honor of your return.” Laird Sinclair turned and continued down the hall.

“I canna believe he willna listen to me. What am I tae do?” Edina pressed her hand to her temple. “I canna marry Duncan. I would sooner die.”

“Och, m’lady, you dinna mean that. You never know, it might not be as bad as you think. I am told Duncan Sutherland is quite handsome and charming. You may be surprised,” Helen said, then touched Edina’s arm. “Hopefully William will bring the Mackenzie lass back and you willna have tae marry him after all. You must have faith in the Almighty and in my William.”

Helen’s cheerful, optimistic attitude did nothing to change Edina’s state of mind. She was convinced she would never be happy with Duncan and would not give up hope until the dire end.

The ladies followed Laird Sinclair into the great hall and Edina took her place at her father’s left side. Helen sat at a trestle table with her mother and father. The drone of voices filled the hall, the primary topic of conversation Callum and the events leading up to his death.

“Good morning, sister. How do you fare this fine day?” Jayden bowed and took Edina’s hand in preparation to kiss the back of it, but she tugged it away.

“Dinna fine day me, Jayden Sinclair. Why did you leave Alasdair alone with a jug of whisky? The man was well in his cups when I saw him last and lacking any manners whatsoever because of it,” Edina snapped.

“I dinna tell him tae stay up all night drinking. He is my friend, not my charge. I offered him a drink and how much he chose tae down is his affair. He is a warrior and accustomed tae battle, drink, and women. Mayhap not the kind of man a soon-tae-be married woman should be associating with.” Jayden’s reply was brusque and to the point.

Edina’s mouth gaped open. “I thought he was your friend.”

“Aye, but you are my sister and I want what’s best for you.”

“Your brother is right. You should be thinking about your betrothed and how to please him, not a drunken warrior. I expect Duncan will arrive late this afternoon or on the morrow at the latest. Once you are wed, he will be your main focus of attention, along with providing him an heir,” her father cut in.