Fragile Truths (3 page)

Something had shifted inside me that night. I didn’t know what it was and I never knew but I didn’t take it for granted and I never forgot the connection we had both felt.

I knew I wouldn’t see her again for a long time. I felt it as deep as I felt that she would always remain with me, in my soul. Her own soul still clung to mine in a desperate attempt to obtain some peace but I allowed it and swore if it was my last breath that I ever used, that I would give it the serenity it craved.

I would take its grief and I would soothe it.

I would consume its anger and calm it.

And then, when it was ready; when it was mended and once again whole, then I would return it to her.

28
^th
July 2006

Frankie

“To success,” Maggie toasted linking her arm through mine and clinking her frosted cocktail against my own. The pink frothy liquid sloshed gently against the side of her glass with her drunken sloppy movements and slightly sprayed her lacy white dress with the sticky bright alcohol. She narrowed her eyes on me and pursed her lips as a wicked glint sharpened her blood shot eyes, “Nah, fuck that Fran… To guys, awesome sex and plenty of mind-blowing orgasms.” She quirked one of her perfectly groomed eyebrows at me when I scoffed, “Well, for me, you can take the success.”

I smirked and shook my head marginally, “I’ll take success and an escape from Alcatraz.”

She frowned and sighed in exasperation, “Jeez Fran, it was bloody St Harriet’s; I’d hardly call it Alcatraz. Even you have to admit that we had some fun, it wasn’t all work and cold dorms.”

I reared back slightly, my arse sliding narrowly off the barstool with the smooth silk material of my dress until Maggie reached out and grabbed onto my elbows to stop my backside slipping completely over the edge. I giggled and nudged upright until I was pointing a finger at her, her face swimming before my own in my intoxicated state. “It was bloody shite, Mags.”

She gave me a pitiful smile and grabbed my hand as I dropped my face to my lap and tried to halt the dreadful memories of the last seven years of boarding school hell, “Fran, babe. What happened to you was…” She squinted and dropped her gaze to match my own. “It
was
shite for you, I agree but babe, it was Jarod and Jarod is definitely a one off. He’s gone, and his suck arse pathetic mates have gone. We’re free now, Fran. Please, please remember that you are as strong as your own strength.”

I lifted a brow at her until her lips curved into a smile which then progressed into a giggle, “What the fuck is in this cocktail?” She laughed as she held it up and peered closely into the glass as though she expected to see some random quotes swimming around in the liquid waiting to be consumed and used in some heartfelt speech, just like the one she had just given me.

“You are as strong as your own strength?” I mocked between our laughter, “Have you been smoking that shit again, Mags?”

She laughed harder and signalled to the barman for refills as I spun round carefully on my stool to survey the bar area of the casino we had ventured into on our first night back in London after returning from school.

It was thriving; every single table in the large room was occupied, the dance floor was heaving with sweaty, swaying bodies and even the walls were lined with revellers that couldn’t find a spot elsewhere in the room.

It was a popular place to be and as though Maggie had read my mind she leant into me and placed her mouth at my ear so she could be heard over the rising throb of the music, “Looks like a good place to hang out regular.”

I glanced to her and smiled then frowned as she gestured with a pointed movement of her eyes to the door area of the club and I turned to see what she wanted me to look at.

A group had entered. Around five men, suited and booted, were surrounded by giggling overdressed girls, or under-dressed whichever way you wanted to look at it. Each guy appeared to be flanked by another heavy set man, their eyes darting around the room as if scoping the place out. I tilted my head to study the private party.

It seemed somewhat unusual and as I flicked my eyes around the room to see what they could possibly be looking for I noticed nearly every single female, and a few men in the place straighten their shoulders, flick their hair in place and push their breasts in place to give their cleavage refreshment.

“Well that’s my night sorted.” Maggie sighed contentedly beside me and I shook my head without looking at her.

“No Mags, they seem like trouble.”

“Exactly,” she murmured as she slid off her stool and before I could grab her she was making her way across the room towards the men.

I knew she wouldn’t meet any resistance at joining their party; there was no one I knew more seductive than Maggie, with her long flowing auburn hair, her deep chocolate eyes and her stunning almost mischievous smile. She had the most delectable hour-glass figure, her deep curves and flat stomach had been the envy of every girl in our dorm, even me.

But something about this group of men had the hairs on the back of my neck tingling in awareness; the blood in my veins was starting its customary burn as my usual perceptive instincts alerted me that these men were not to be messed with; they were trouble and everyone in the room, apart from Maggie obviously, knew it as some decided it was time to leave and the others that craved the dark side made themselves flirtingly aware of their availability.

I grit my teeth then grabbed my drink and made my way after her. There was no way I was leaving her alone and one of us had to be level-headed. I placed my drink down on a table I passed and approached Maggie as a guy was already whispering something in her ear and had his arm wrapped around her waist.

He narrowed his eyes on me as I came up behind her, and then coldly ran them over my body, pausing for a moment too long on my breasts before bringing them up to my face and fixing me with an icy glare, “Wrong crowd, sweetheart. You want the Sunday school corner over there.” He gestured to a group of upper-class girls sat at a round table in the corner sipping champagne in flowery frocks as though it was their everyday drink and money was no object.

I chewed on the flesh inside my cheek and glared back, not caring that he would probably tackle me to the floor in front of all these people and not give a damn while he did it. The arrogant bastard looked like he was able to do many things and nobody would
see
a thing.

I let my eyes roam slowly over his body, taking in his expensive designer clothing and exorbitant jewellery before pulling a smirk and fixing him with a cold stare of my own, “Oh you’re special. So – very – special.”

His furious glare was interrupted by a body stepping in front of him. “Okay babe, let’s dance.”

I blinked hard at the tall blonde guy who was pulling on my elbow and leading me away from Mr Up-his-own-arse.

“What the hell?!”

“Word of advice,” he whispered in my ear as he tugged me onto the dance floor. “You don’t rile Yard.”

“Yard?” I queried with a scoff as I felt myself yanked against his firm body, the firmness of his pecs pressed against my breasts and his hands already moving around my back to pull me further in.

“Don’t ask!”

So, I didn’t.

“Niko,” he introduced as he reclined and finally looked at me, a small curve of his lips told me he liked what he saw and I scowled at him.

“Don’t get any ideas lover boy, it’s a dance, let’s keep it at that.”

He cleared his throat but smiled wider, “I think I like you, what’s your name?”

I studied his face sceptically and as though he felt my wariness his smile grew wider, much like the smile a wolf wears before he leaps for his prey.

“Barbara.”

His brow lifted into his hairline and I could see him fighting a grin, “Well,
Barbara
. You fancy a drink… or sex?”

I couldn’t hold back the chuckle at his over-dramatic hopeful eyes, “Now that is a difficult choice.”

“You need help deciding?” He asked seductively as he leant into me and ran the tip of his tongue up the outer edge of my neck.

“Well…. Go on, I’ll be brave and risk a Stella.”

He reared back and placed his hand on his chest, “Be still my beating heart.” He dropped his eyes to his crotch and shrugged, “Ahh mate, struck out for beer again.”

I laughed as he grabbed my hand and forced me to follow his large strides across the room. “Stella for the lady and my usual, Carl.” He shouted to the barman who was currently in the middle of fulfilling someone’s order. To my astonishment Carl nodded, placed the half full pint of lager down and started on Niko’s order.

I scoffed and turned to my companion, “Okay, he’s either after your manhood or you own him.”

His eyes lit with mischievousness as he leant into me, “Maybe it’s both.”

I nodded reverently as I pursed my lips, “Maybe it is.”

“So, come on Doe eyes, what’s your real name?” He asked as he nodded his thanks to Carl when he placed our drinks on small cloth mats before us and handed him a twenty. I noticed he didn’t return with change but Niko looked as though he wasn’t expecting any.

I lifted a brow at him, “Doe eyes? That is so lame.”

He grinned at me and I couldn’t resist smiling back at his cheeky face. “You have huge eyes, babe. Really round and wide, just suits you,” he shrugged as he took a sip of his whisky.

Taking a sip of my own drink I peered at him over the rim and tried to figure him out. His hair was cut short against his head, his eyes were the deepest blue ever but what held my attention was the tattoo on his neck. “Knight’s guards,” I murmured as I traced the wording with my finger.

“Mmmm” he mumbled but didn’t enlighten me further when he stiffened and his body became rigid. He lifted his glass to his lips as his eyes shifted between something behind me and
Yard
, who was currently dry humping my best friend on the dance floor.

“You okay?” I asked with a frown as I tried to turn and see what he was studying.

“Yep.” His hand shot out and one of his fingers touched my cheek to turn my face back to him before I could get a glance at what was obviously troubling him.

“Nik,” An old leathery voice sternly addressed behind me and I turned to see a middle aged, quite handsome man sit on the stool next to me.

“Don.” Niko acknowledged and titled his head respectfully to this man, “Drink?”

“Mmmm.” He didn’t reply further as he turned to Carl and gave him a small nod.

Who the hell was this guy? I noticed he was flanked by a couple of huge suited guys and a small bubble of wariness popped in my stomach.

He turned his head slowly as if he sensed my analysis, “Problem, Blondie?”

“No, sir.” I answered with a disgusted frown, “Just having a drink.”

He narrowed his eyes on me then allowed them to slowly drop and appraise my body. A cruel smirk wrapped his lips and his eyes glinted with a wicked intent, “Nik’s latest tart, I take it?”

I scoffed and reared back but jerked when I felt Niko’s hand lay against the base of my spine. I knew it was a warning so I tried to simmer down but the arrogant jerk made my blood boil. “Excuse me but I’m no-ones tart.” His eyes narrowed further as more ice seeped into his stare, “And even if I was, I’m sure that is none of your damn business.”

Niko’s hand flinched and I could feel his despair roll over me. Don, or whatever he was called, continued to stare at me with nothing but a detached and bitter expression before he suddenly cupped my chin, grasping it tightly between his thumb and finger and pulled my face harshly towards him. “Get over yourself and show some damn respect, Bubba!”

My body froze as a tsunami of ice raced through my veins. Goose bumps exploded over every inch of my body and my stomach twisted with revolt at the unique name as every single hair on my body reared to attention and physically agonised with my heart.

“Where is he?” A stark male voice shouted angrily.

“I… I don’t know!”

“Tell me or you will pay.”

“I tell you, I don’t know!” My mother pleaded.

She screamed with so much agony that I could practically feel each fist and each thump that was rained down on her slight body.

“He doesn’t care about you, you stupid woman!” Another one of her screams pierced the air and my heart. “Well if he can’t pay in cash, he pays in other ways.”

“Please,” she pleaded as her voice shook with her desperate sobs.

“Too late, Bubba!”

She screamed one final time, and then silence descended. I knew she was dead, my heart confirmed it as well as the silence.

“She’s just sat with me, Don. Her friend’s with Damien and he didn’t want the extra company.” Nik defended for me but I just stared into this bastards face, engraining each crease, each mole, the slant of his nose and the thin curve of his top lip, even every single tiny hair that covered his face. They were all locked away inside for future reference.

Nausea surged violently, the acrid taste of vomit lining my throat and nostrils when the flashes continued to haunt me. I gagged and pulled myself free from his strong grip. He narrowed his eyes into a small frown as I slid off the stool. “Excuse me.”

Why the hell I excused myself was beyond me but I snatched up my bag and hurried to the front of the casino, desperation for air propelling me forcefully on wobbly legs as my ankles snatched in the heels I wasn’t used to wearing.

People seemed to be adamant to make my escape impossible as each person in the place insisted on stepping in front of me and blocking my way outside. Despair and desperation was clawing at my throat and freezing my lungs as funny wheezy sounds came out of my mouth in pants and gasps.

I began to push at people in fear as vomit curled from my stomach and started to burn the back of my eyes. “Hey,” one or two called but the humming in my ears was preventing me from hearing them as I nearly dived through the doors at the front of the building.