Fragile Truths (5 page)

His soft rumbly voice comforted my anguish immediately and I grinned happily, “I am. Are you still on for the race Sunday?”

“Try and stop me. That’s what I was ringing about actually.” I frowned at his hesitant tone but remained silent, giving him clearance to carry on. “Well… would it be alright if I uhh, if I brought someone along?”

I pursed my lips as my brows raised high on my forehead. He took my silence as a negative reaction and started flustering, “It doesn’t matter Fran, I’ll tell her no. The track is our…”

“Daddy! Hold on,” I couldn’t help but laugh at his embarrassment. “It’s fine.” I paused for us both to catch our breath at his revelation, “What’s her name?”

I heard him swallow and then release a huge breath. “Caroline.”

“Okay, and how long have you been… seeing her?”

“A couple of months” he answered quietly and my heart hurt for him.

“Well that’s great,” I told him happily as I peered over at Gray walking back across the room. His shoulders were slumped as though he had a million weights pushing against him and his eyes were twitchy but downcast. “I have to go, Dad but I’ll phone you tomorrow night and work out Sunday’s plan.”

“Great. Love you, Pudding.”

“And you” I answered absent-mindedly as I placed my phone down and tilted my head at Gray. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

He looked at me as though he didn’t recognise me for a moment then shook his head and smiled, “Nothing, just tired. Thank god it’s Friday.”

I smiled at him before I took a sip of wine, “Yes, although I’m in the office tomorrow.”

He frowned at me, “Why?”

“Just… stuff.”

He rolled his tongue over his teeth and I groaned inwardly as his anger became predominant once again. “You need any help? I could stay at yours tonight and help you out.”

I shook my head, ignoring the darkening of his eyes at my decline, “No, it’s nothing I can’t handle; just paperwork.”

“And judge’s arses to lick!” he added with contempt.

“You know what, Gray. Sod this!” I stood and placed my palms on the table, leaning over it and into his face, “If you were working a case that required this much need for caution and confidentiality, I would accept that. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you but maybe you ought to deal with it before you bother choking me in so much of your hatred.”

“Fran!” He shouted after me as I stormed through the restaurant, people’s narrow eyes glaring and burning my cheeks as I refused to turn around and go back like I usually would.

I knew this wasn’t just him. I knew it was as much me. He could sense me pulling away from him and I knew it was hurting him but I just couldn’t help it. He wasn’t, or rather I couldn’t imagine my future with him. Gray was loving and sexy but he just… he didn’t do it for me. His condescending and proud personality didn’t help either.

He was always the one to pull me up with any cases I worked on and at first I had admired his eagerness at making me better myself, but now I found it irritating and disrespectful; his haughty manner was beginning to grind at me and drag me deeper into the pit that didn’t have a ladder for a way out.

In the beginning, over two years ago when we met, I had fallen for him and his natural ability to calm me. He would hold me for hours as I spoke of the hell I had lived in since my mother’s death. He would love me better, holding me close and making love with a rare gentleness but sometimes, his kindness seemed to be the complete opposite of what I needed from him.

Sometimes, I wished for him to just grab me and tell me to snap out of it, to force me to face up to my life and to appreciate what it offered, even if it was shit. I needed discipline. It was naturally engrained in me but my inner despair had been there for so long I couldn’t find a break in its steel walls for me to climb out of and I needed that someone to smash at those walls for me; to bring each brick down and set me free.

Granted, Gray had changed over the previous few months, his anger seemed more potent and he appeared more edgy and tetchy but I just put it down to the case he was currently working on. But now, now I wasn’t so sure. Something else was going off with him and he had begun to bring his wrath forth on me, his temper quick and his condescending remarks easier and recurrent.

I screwed my eyes shut as the mocking part of my mind persecuted me when I climbed into my car and slammed the door behind me.

You don’t love him. You don’t love him, Fran.

I knew I had to let him go. We were heading in different directions, our lives taking separate paths at the crossroad.

He didn’t follow me out, but then I didn’t expect him to. He would already be on the whisky, another of his recent downfalls.

I knew what I had to do. I had to finish it. It wasn’t fair on me and it most definitely was not fair on Gray. He didn’t need my inner shit, along with marrying someone who didn’t love him like he deserved.

My heart ached but something inside me finally felt free and relieved. It was time to concentrate on what I had waited sixteen years for. What I had worked towards for the last six years.

Bringing down the notorious Don Knight. The man who killed my mother.

Tate

My hands fisted in her short brown hair as she knelt before me, her wide brown eyes looking up at me with both heat and uncertainty. I tipped my head, narrowing my eyes on her but she remained in position, silently waiting for my order.

I held her there, relishing in the dominance of her control. She wouldn’t touch until I allowed it, and only
if
I allowed it. Her tongue peeked out and slightly moistened the centre of her lips, teasing and tormenting me. She should know by now that nothing teased me. I was restrained if not restricted with my own constraint, never allowing any other than myself to drive my need or hunger.

“Please, Tate.” She almost whispered her plea and my lips curved into a cruel smile.

“Don’t beg, Kat. It really lowers your appeal.”

She swallowed at my cruelty but I also saw the heat in her eyes intensify. Women were so easy to manipulate. They say ‘girl power’ and all that shit but they like nothing more than being controlled and ruled by a man. Fucking contradictory species!

My eyes moved to the screens on the wall in my office as I continued to hold Kat to ransom. The front of the club was heaving tonight, a long line of eager revellers packed like little soldiers all the way along the street and around the corner. The dance floor was already heaving and I moved to study the cameras at the entrance. Tony and Tank, the doormen, weren’t allowing any more in, so we were obviously at our limit.

“Tate?” Kat softly begged quietly.

I looked down at her once more, her wide eyes imploring and hungry. “Open your mouth.”

She opened up like a starving little bird, the tip of her tongue resting against her lower lip and I realised now why she spoke with a slight lisp. She gasped as I unbuckled my belt, her eyes on my fingers greedily as I released my cock into my hand. She swallowed heavily as I stepped a little closer and ran the ball of my piercing across her lips teasingly then slid the whole length between her lips and down the back of her throat, causing her to gag and her eyes to water.

I smirked cruelly at her, “Come on, Kat, you asked for it.”

She choked loudly, her chest heaving and her eyes wide and wet as a line of spit spread from her lips to the end of my dick when I pulled back out. I shook my head in disgust when I realised she wasn’t going to protest to my invasion.

She frowned at me as I tucked myself back in my jeans and fastened my belt. “Tate?”

“Get the fuck out of here.”

“Wh..what did I do?”

“It’s what you didn’t do that’s the problem,” I barked as I strolled around my desk and took my keys from the top drawer, then opened the office door for her, curtly telling her to leave. “No pride, Kat. I like women to put up a bit of a fight if they don’t like what I’m doing to them.”

“But...” She started to protest and I sighed heavily. What the hell was wrong with these women? None of them had any self-worth; either that or I was that fucking good they’d even degrade themselves for me to fuck them.

“You arsehole!” She spat with venom, her eyes suddenly glinting with loathing.

I nodded reverently, “That’s more like it.”

She stormed past me, her elbow knocking into my gut as she went, her hair still in a clump atop her head, all the hairspray holding it in position after my harsh grasp. Oh well, I wouldn’t be the one to tell her how fucking stupid she looked, not my job.

I pulled my phone from my pocket as it vibrated against my thigh. “Jed,” I greeted as I shut my door again and waited for his update.

“Where the fuck did you get the new guy from?” he yelled through the phone.

I groaned at the sound of sirens in the background. “Talk to me, Jed.”

“The stupid fuck shot one of the fucking staff.”

“Ahh shit,” I groaned as I rubbed at my temples, “Gimme ten.”

“You better fucking hurry or we’re facing a fifteen.”

“I - said,” I growled slowly, “Gimme ten. If I say I’ll sort it, I fucking will. Don’t fucking question me Jed, or you’ll be facing fucking soil and dirt instead of a fifteen stretch.”

I ended the call to his silence as I dialled another number. “Stringer,” I uttered when he picked up at the other end. “I need an out for some of my guys.”

“Already on it; heard it come through the scanner, mate. Another five and it’ll be sorted.”

“Thanks mate, stupid cadet twat.”

He laughed loudly, “Was that wise for such a big job?”

“With hindsight,” I grimaced, “Maybe not.”

“But we all have to learn somewhere, right?” He admitted and I nodded.

“That we do. Usual payment deposit within twenty four,” I said as I once again opened my door. “Cheers mate.” I added before I ended the call, rolling my head on my shoulders to relieve the oncoming headache.

Stringer was the best at hacking any sort of technology. I knew within the five minutes he had promised, that all the cop radios, traffic lights and CCTV would be working in my favour.

Blowing out a tired breath, I descended the stairs from my office and stepped out onto the club floor. The blaring beat of the music and the flash of the lights made me squint. The heat rising from the floor was material, the wave in the atmosphere tangible and real but it was the smell of alcohol, sex and sweat that caused my gut to twist. Fuck it, tonight I’d had enough.

I made my way to the door, dodging the many drunken wobbles of the clients as I snatched a bag of pills from someone’s hand, “Not here. Get the fuck out.”

The obnoxious scrote stared at me. “What the fuck man, they’re mine.” He protested as he tried to snatch the bag back out of my hand.

“Not any more. Get the fuck out and don’t come back.”

Within seconds of our dispute, Ken and Tank were grabbing both of his arms and dragging him through the club, many of the drinkers shifting quickly to one side to make a path for my security men. “Usual, Boss?” Tank asked as he moved backwards with a grace that belied his huge frame.

I gave him a simple nod in reply and threw the bag of whatever shit it contained at Ben on my way out. “I’m off, heads fucked.”

He frowned at me with question, “You okay?”

“Uh-huh” I carried on walking but he sidled up beside me.

“Tate…”

“Fuck – off, Ben.”

He sighed angrily, “That’s the third this week.”

“And?” I snapped as I quickened my stride across the car park and flicked the keys irritably in my fingers.

“And,” he hissed as he grabbed my arm to stop me. “And, I’m worried about you.”

I gave out a bark of laughter, “Fuck Ben, we aint married, mate.” He rolled his lips and I sighed as I turned to him, “Honestly, I’m fine but if I get any more, I’ll go see the quack.”

He nodded, “That’s all I ask.”

He held onto the car door as I slid inside, “Get Tank and Michelle to clear up. Get yourself off home too.”

He shook his head as he shut my door and waited for me to lower the window. “Nah, I’m good. I’ll wait for the guy’s to get back with the stash then I’ll head off.”

I nodded to him then contemplated what to do. “Evan needs outing. He fucked up big time tonight, shot one of the fucking bankers. Now I’ve had to get Stringer involved and a whole load of other unwanted shit will follow.”

“Jesus Christ,” He rubbed at his short brown hair and closed his eyes in despair for a moment. “Sorry Tate, he came with some good references.”

I shook my head and waved off his guilt, “Don’t worry. It’s sorted, not your fault.”

He gave me a slow nod and tapped the roof of the car as I pulled away. My brain throbbed against my skull, its incessant pounding making my eyes ache and my jaw tighten. After the day I’d had all I wanted to do was down a few Jacks and climb in my pit, however my mother decided different as her distraught yelling filled the car through the Bluetooth when I answered her ring, “On my way, Mom.”

9
^th
January 2014

Frankie

My lip was being destroyed under my teeth as my stomach ached with the guilt. Gray stared at me, his eyes both wide and searching as he fiddled restlessly with his fingers, “But…”

I shrugged. “I’m sorry,” I repeated for the fourth time.

“No you’re not!” He snapped, causing me to blink rapidly. Maybe in hindsight I should have phoned Maggie to come up from reception where she spent most of her time talking to Dale, the main reception administrator for Blaine and Roberts’ law firm where we both worked.

“Yes, Gray, I am.” And I really was. I hadn’t wanted to end things – okay, maybe 30% of me hadn’t wanted to end things with him.

I swallowed heavily but stood my ground when he stormed across the room and grabbed feverishly at my face, “Please Fran. I’m sure whatever it is, we can sort it. We can get through it. Is there someone else?”