Fosters: Blackhawk (29 page)

People are laughing. Devan, Brenna, Elizabeth,
Sandy, Victor, Aaron and Jacob are dancing in our circle. 
Everyone is here, even Janelle.  I stand up.  "What the
fuck?"  I look down I'm soaked.  

Christian laughs. "Nunánuk thought you
needed cooling off.  She dipped you in the lake." 
Everyone laughs.  Fuckin grandmother.

I look for Jessie and Little Ben, they're
looking nervous I go to them by the other kids.  Jessie has
tears in his eyes.  "I could have hurt him.  I was wrong;
I could have hurt him bad.  You knew it wasn't enough. 
I'm sorry.  I'm so glad you didn't let him go."  I hug
him and feel he's wet too.

"He knew Jessie, he warned me.  You can't
know everything, you're learning just like the rest of us. 
We're going to get it wrong sometimes but we have a whole fuckin
Brotherhood watching our backs.  Look around, you didn't beg
one person to be here, they showed and had our back and didn't even
know what was happening.  This is our lesson, we don't forget
this one.  Jeremy doesn't have all the answers, he's learning
too, we need to remember that."  He jumps on me hugging me
tight crying on my shoulder, I hold him until he's done. 
Jeremy comes to us and puts his fist out.  We all take a turn
bumping it.  He sits in Jessie's lap and watches everyone.
 

I find my beautiful wife sitting in the grass
with the adults.  Danny is telling them what he knows, he has
them laughing with Jeremy laughing and shaking water off him. 
Then Little Ben and Jessie did the same thing.  They look at
me.  "Payback, my grandmother dunked me."  They
laugh.  Janelle and Rich watch me.  I look away searching
for Steve.  He's with Ben and Tiny.  He looks at me,
'thank fuck you didn't let go of him.  Never a-fuckin-gain!'
 He says in my head.  I throw him chin and think 'it will
happen again but we need to remember this lesson.'  He throws
me chin.  

I sit on the step to the road.  A beer
floats in front of me.  I look up and see Chase smiling. 
"Thought you could use one."  I nod and down half the
bottle.  He sits by me and doesn't say a word.  We watch
the kids and women go back to their houses.  The men are
behind us, not saying a word.  I stand and turn toward them.
 "I need dry clothes."  They nod and go into the patio.
 

Chase watches them then puts his hand on my
shoulder.  We get across the street and CJ takes me to the
room getting dry clothes for me.  I change; she puts my pocket
shit on the bathroom counter to dry.  When I'm dressed she
pulls me down and kisses me.  "Thank you for holding onto
him.  Christian says Jeremy was wrong and you saved him.
 Thank you for being that warrior when he needed you."
 

I hug her holding on tight.  "I was so
fuckin scared.  I'm so glad everyone showed up.  Every
fuckin person on the block showed up for him."  

She nods with the biggest smile.  "Our
connection is growing."  I smile and breathe for the first
time without feeling like my heart is going to snap in half. 
Fuckin CJ.  I kiss her reminding me we're all alive and
here.  When my dick bobs I release her, she laughs pushing me
out the door.  I grab a piece of pizza and go back to the
patio.  They have pizza too so I eat another piece.  

Once the pizza is moved new beer is put out and
Steve tells us what Jeremy gave to him.  Fuckin six years old
doesn't need this in his head.  I stand and pace.  He
goes on for almost a half hour.  I'm not a planner here so I
don't need to know all their details but I file them anyway. 
What concerns me is Jeremy seeing rape, murder, his family members
violated.  He's fuckin six.  

Steve looks at me.  "He is six, Tess
couldn't look, Christian couldn't look.  Was the six year old
called the meet, was the six year old knew to put you there guardin
him.  He knew what he was doin."  

"He's fuckin SIX!  He was wrong.  He
couldn't take it.  He almost died.  The water was to cool
him off.  He was almost too hot to keep a fuckin hold on
him.  Gathering everyone wasn't to get
energy 
from
 them it was releasing it
from 
him
.  He couldn't get rid of all of it. 
He didn't give you everything did he?"  I'm yelling at him,
everyone is frozen. 

He looks down then up at me, "No, saw Elizabeth
bein raped and let go."  Holy fuck!  I go to him and hug
him.  He doesn't let me go, he's screaming sorry in my head.
 

"I had him, its ok.  I had him."  He
nods.  

"How old was she?"  Danny asks.

"Maybe a year or two older.  It's war,
everyone is hurt."  

"The things we need to acknowledge is;  1.
Jeremy was wrong.  2. Jessie and Little Ben were wrong.
 3. Steve is human and can't take all pain.  That one is
important because we use him when it's too much for the rest of
us.  He has always taken it, we need to remember we're all
human and suffer pain differently.  But we can, do, and will
suffer it.  Thank Fuck Cloud is so in tune with the
kids.  He's right, we learned a lesson.  We need to
remember the mistakes as much as the successes.  We're all
learning and we're going to fuck it up.  We need people
watching our backs for that.  We need to watch out for each
other."  Ben is walking around the table avoiding me and Steve
as he talks.  We all nod.  

He looks at Steve.  "Thank fuck you were
there and we know what to prepare for.  I need everything you
got before that."  Steve nods.  He looks at me, "You're
not an officer but I think you’re one of the only ones that gets
what the fuck is happening and we need your help."  I nod not
real sure what to say.  "Officers don't talk about these
conversations with the old ladies or the Brothers."  I
nod.  He points to a seat and I sit.  Danny puts his hand
on my shoulder and squeezes.  He understands.  

I look at Ben.  “Before we get into all
this Christian, Little Ben and Jeremy talked to me in the tree
house.  Christian said; 
‘Jeremy says there’s
more.  You need to watch Rob.’
  His wording was
weird.  
‘He says he's not smart, like a kid.  Steve
will know.  He needs Steve; it's too big for me’
.  I
don’t think he meant too much, just older.  He used similar
wording once before when he saw Mo with CJ.  He’s too young to
understand.” 

Steve looks at me.  "Gullible?"  

"Not street smart.  Rob isn't street smart.
 He's in the MC but has never touched the illegal. 
Doesn't talk about anything unpleasant or offensive to him. 
When we were at war he had clean jobs, he stays away from anything
that would remind him of the death that's on our hands.  When
Tess was hurt he was scarce, he couldn't deal with it so he kept
busy with other things away from anything that touched her."
 Danny says looking out the window.  He's always looking
out the window.  "When I shot the guys’ toes at the Plank he
was white as a ghost, said he could have done that but I've never
seen him carry a gun and he was overly pissed.  It was a
fuckin toe, he was yelling at me as if I killed the guy."
 Rich and Steve laugh.  

"Was really just a fuckin toe.  Rob was
pissed.  Wouldn't have said fuck to him, he just shot the
fuckin guy.  Would have been scared he'd shoot me."
 Steve says smiling.  Fuckin Brothers.  

"Kids aren't street smart, they are gullible,
naive.  Look how he fucked up with CJ, thought the draw was
her interest while he was with Rena.  It was all on his side
but he couldn't get past the draw to see he was fuckin up. 
Didn't get it until we mapped it out."  Tiny says.
 "Where is Rob lately anyway?" 

Ben looks around at us.  "Has anyone seen
him?"  No one answers.  "Fuck!"  He pulls his phone
and tells someone to pull his tracking.  

"Was supposed to be goin to therapy.  Been
for fuckin ever, should have been cleared by now."  Steve
says.  

"He's at R&R.  He's been working the
bars; he wasn't at church for two weeks.  We need to keep
better track of him.  I'll work on that tomorrow.  We
need to watch the feeds where he's at, see if we pick anything up."
 

Rich nods, "I'll pull it tomorrow and run
through them."  

"Let's get back to what we're dealing with from
the vision."  Ben looks at Steve.

"Was over time, feelers we put out draw
attention.  People get in, see the kids, how they are. 
We're workin day and night tryin to keep em safe.  Everyone’s
tired.  Stupid mistakes, schedules, and shit get
dropped.  Kids are hurt one at a time, Jeremy can't fix em
all, he's tired, not enough to draw on.  Tess is taken. 
She's in a cell again.  She can't reach Rich or Christian.
 Everythin starts fallin apart.  We don't trust each
other to keep our families safe."  He stops.  He's not
looking at anyone but I know this is where he sees
Elizabeth. 

Ben is running his hands through his hair. 
He puts a hand on Steve's shoulder.  "We'll work on what we
have.  I was going to contact the other Clubs to see about the
kids.  We can't do that.  We need to forget finding out
about other kids.  We'll use what we have and focus more on
getting protection in place so it never gets dropped."  His
eyes hit each one of us.  

"We can put another shift on so they all run six
hour shifts with an hour of overlap."  He tells Rich.
 

"I want to look at Security on the block, the
Kids Center, Millie's and the businesses.  Set up a six month
review for Security checks."  He looks at Steve.  

Looking at Danny, "Check with surveillance,
clear anything that obstructs the view on every camera."  

He turns to Tiny, "Get the Prospects to spend
one day a week riding the town, logging empty houses, trash build
up, anything that isn't clean and easy, anywhere there isn't a
clear view for the cameras."  Tiny nods typing in his phone.
 

"Patches get your Associates to pick up time
working with the Prospects, they're firemen and police for the most
part.  They see shit every day.  It will keep a check on
the Prospects but also be another set of eyes trained on the town."
 Patches is writing in his book.  

"What I'm looking to do is keep every Brother
focused on the town, the neighbors and the other Brothers. 
Giving them a job, pride in their town, making it better, cleaner,
safer; they'll notice new people, question out of the ordinary, a
threat that we aren't seeing."  They all nod.  Fuck he's
fuckin smart.   

"I think we need to pull the kids away from some
of the activities.  They stand out now and we don't know what
the fuck we're dealing with.  We need to shine a light on some
of the other Little Brothers and Sisters so our kids aren't always
up in front of everything we do.  They're going to fight that
so we need to do it in a way that promotes lifting others up,
giving confidence so they continue to do things to help
others.  Our kids can work behind the scenes being the support
for the other kids.  That may work right in to what they're
supposed to be doing.  I hope to fuck it is.  If you
think of anything to get us to safe with them, bring it to church,
send me an email, write me a fuckin post it but bring it to me."
 We all nod.  

I look at him.  "Pres if we can't tell the
old ladies about the vision how are we going to tell them we aren't
getting any information about any other kids?"  

"Fuck.  Tell them, maybe not about
Elizabeth but tell them the rest.  They're too fuckin smart to
push if they have the information.  They may have some ideas
for us.  At the very least they'll watch us making sure we're
not getting burnt out."  His hand is in his hair again. 
Another fuckin smart move.  

I look around.  "Is there anything else
that includes me?"  I ask looking at Pres.

"I need to talk to the Officers but I don't have
anything for you tonight."  He looks at Steve, Steve looks at
Danny.

"We need you to keep track of the kids,
abilities, who they align with, that kind of stuff.  Through
all this, we can't drop the kids and their growing needs.  I
know you’re at Baxter's tomorrow, any day you're on MC or any
night, we meet here, we can talk about that, help, whatever the
fuck you need to keep that going.  Yeah?"  

"Yeah."  I tell him.  I stand to
leave.  Before I go out I look at Steve.  "I'm home until
six in the morning.  You need me; I can be on my patio or
yours."  He throws chin.  I give it back and walk home.
 

The house is quiet.  I see the glow from
the living room.  Taylor and Brantley are watching a
movie.  I sit with them for a few minutes.  They had good
days.  I hunt down the rest.  Joey and Christian are
laughing on her bed; Hawk is on the floor beside Christian’s
foot.  She's losing at checkers and having a good time at
it.  I laugh with them then kiss their heads leaving them to
find the J's and CJ.  Climbing the stairs I hear her in their
room.  I walk in and she's in their bed telling them a story
about flying over the Grand Canyon with all the beautiful rock
formations and mountains that were cut by water.  She makes me
laugh with how small the little dribble of water is from so high
up.  They all look at me.  The J's hug me.  I can't
fit in their bed so I sit on the outside holding them while she
finishes the story.  I tell them I love them and kiss their
heads.  Jacob whispers a thank you in my ear.  I squeeze
him extra.  I love my J's.  

As we make it downstairs Brantley and Taylor go
up for showers.  I tell them we'll be up soon.  Christian
comes out of Joey's room, heading up to the shower too.  

I tell him me and CJ's will take Hawk for a
walk.  I key in Security and get a guard at the house. 
Bull runs over and starts walking the perimeter when we step out.
 I throw him chin and walk across the street to the beach.
 

I tell CJ about Jeremy's vision.  She has
tears but doesn't question anything.  I tell her Pres doesn't
want to ask about any other kids or draw attention to the kids at
all.  She understands and agrees.  She offers to help
chart the kids, I take it.  I give her everything from tonight
and she takes it without questioning one single thing.
 Perfect.  She likes Pres' ideas and thinks they'll work,
especially the kids being supportive and not out front.  I
think she's right, they won't fight that.  Once it's all out
we head back, my step is lighter, she notices.  I kiss her
under a million stars.  "You see everything and I love you for
it."  She smiles holding my hand back to the house. Bull waves
and jogs back to Danny's.  We finish our nightly ritual and
sit in our chair comfortable in the quiet.  I find my guide
and soar over the reservation.