Forgiveness (9 page)

If you think you are fat or need to be fat, your body will accommodate those thoughts. If you believe that you are just fine as you are, then you will live accordingly, whether or not those thoughts are productive and supportive for your health and well-being. The issue here is not whether you are a size 2 or size 22. The issue is, What do you believe about your body? And what thoughts are you feeding yourself consciously and unconsciously?

Mental images determine how we behave when confronted by daily life experiences. If we think of ourselves as worthwhile and valued, it will come across to other people and we will be treated accordingly. When, on the other hand, we see ourselves as less than, as not as good as, or in some way as inferior or deficient because of how we look, we will receive a corresponding reaction from those with whom we interact. Molded by both internal and external influences, self-image and body image can make a huge difference in how we interact with the world.

I was 22 and the mother of three children when my son Damon said, “Mommy, you are the prettiest mommy in the world.” He was six years old at the time. I remember it because I was getting dressed to go job hunting. Damon was sitting on the edge of the bed watching me as I tried to get my white blouse to lay flat inside of my black skirt.
Nobody,
I thought to myself,
looks fat or ugly in a white blouse and black skirt.
They look acceptable. They look appropriate and adequate and beautiful. They look employable. More important, they are pretty.

I carried Damon’s words with me all day, repeating them over and over as if they were a personal mantra:
I am the prettiest mommy in the world, and I am going to get this job.
On the subway, when I caught someone looking at me from the corner of my eye, I thought to myself,
They are looking at me because I am pretty.

The interview went smoothly, although I did not get the job. Didn’t matter. On that day, my historical programming of being fat and ugly was overwritten by a new thought. I became the prettiest mommy in the world for my son, and I have been that way ever since; even now, at a size 12, with my choice to keep my hair short and to eat all the chicken wings I can get my hands on.

W
HAT DO YOU BELIEVE ABOUT YOUR BODY
? W
HAT THOUGHTS ARE YOU FEEDING YOURSELF CONSCIOUSLY AND UNCONSCIOUSLY
?

D
AILY
F
ORGIVENESS
P
ROCESS
R
EMINDERS

For a more detailed explanation
of the
Daily Forgiveness Process Guidelines
,

1. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for at least 30 to 60 minutes.
   
2. Still your mind for at least 5 minutes or listen to the
   Stillness Meditation.
   
3. Read the Forgiveness Prayer once silently and once aloud.
   
4. Scan the
   Emotional Triggers
   List.
   
5. Write out the 12 Forgiveness Statements for each day’s topic on thinking, judging, and believing in your Forgiveness Journal (Days 1–18). Write your Forgiveness Letters (Days 19–21).
   
6. Perform your Pro EFT™ Forgiveness Tapping Sequences.
   
7. Process thoughts and feelings consciously through your Forgiveness Journal Reflections.
   
8. Listen to the
   Gratitude Meditation
   on the Forgiveness CD.
   
9. Complete the day’s practice in quiet reflection or with meditative music.
   
10. Be sure to do something good for yourself today!
    

I F
ORGIVE
M
YSELF FOR
J
UDGING
M
Y
B
ODY

T
oday’s Forgiveness Practice is all about forgiving the beliefs and distorted images you may have about your body. Is your perception of your body giving you low self-esteem? Is it difficult for you to receive compliments about how you look? Do your friends and family members see you differently than you see yourself? Do you avoid certain situations because you feel out of place? Are you constantly criticizing and judging your physical features? Body size? Body structure?

We have all at one time or another compared ourselves to others we believe are better looking or in better shape than we consider ourselves to be in. Again, the issue here is not how big or small you are. The issue is eliminating the habitual, negative, and destructive thoughts or beliefs you may be holding about your body that impact your self-esteem, worth, and value.

In many cases what we have come to believe about our bodies is a function of what we have been told or not told.

A P
RAYER OF
F
ORGIVENESS

Dear God:

Today, I ask for and open myself to receive a new image of myself. I recognize that in Your eyes, I am perfect as I am. I understand that if there is anything about my body that I choose to change, You have empowered me to do so. I have the power of free will. I have the power of choice. Today, I am choosing to change how I see myself, change how I speak to myself, change how I present myself to the world. I am choosing to see myself as You see me. I am choosing to surrender, release, and heal all negative, toxic, unloving thoughts about my body and to accept myself as Your beautiful creation. I ask, if there is anything within me that is not pleasing to You, that it be lifted. I ask that all habitual, unconscious thoughts, beliefs, and memories about my body be brought into alignment with Your thoughts, beliefs, and plans for me. I ask for the strength and courage to make any changes that are required so that I will accept myself, honor myself, and love myself as You do
.

I let it be!

And so it is!

– I F
ORGIVE
M
Y
M
IND FOR
T
HINKING
–

EXAMPLE

I forgive my mind for thinking my body is ugly/dirty/distorted/useless/too large, etc.

I forgive my mind for thinking my body is

I forgive my mind for thinking my body is not

I forgive my mind for thinking my body should be

I forgive my mind for thinking my body should not be

– I F
ORGIVE
M
YSELF FOR
J
UDGING
–

EXAMPLE

I forgive myself for judging my body as embarrassing because it is larger than my sister’s body.

I forgive myself for judging my body as

I forgive myself for judging my body as