Forgive Me Father For I Have Loved (38 page)

“I gotta girlfriend now,” he continued. “Her name is Mary...” A burst of applause rippled through the crowd. “That’s not the joke!”

Dane continued the rest of his set, becoming more animated and loose as each joke rolled off his tongue. He felt in his element, and it was great to let off some steam.

“I want to thank all of you for letting me entertain you tonight here at the
Comedy Castle.” He sniffed, looked down reflectively at the stage then back out at the audience. As he stood directly under the beam, he turned toward Rhapsody, who sat off to the side of the room on the edge of her chair, cloaked under dark purple shadows and a red, warm glow. She refused to sit up front, didn’t want him to become nervous or choke, but she was still visible, and for that, he was thankful.

“I just want to say one more thing before I get off this stage. One of my favorite quotes that embodies my journey in life right now, comes from a man by the name of Francois Mauriac. It is: ‘To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.’” He paused. “That’s what I experienced...that is what helped me to get where I am today. Speaking to you all, enjoying this time together. It takes a special person to look beyond your past, and see your true potential. It takes someone...devoid of conventional rules, to give someone a chance that society and religious dogma has already written a map for and pigeon-holed. It takes someone open minded to love you with all that they have inside of them, regardless of the obstacles and the ‘what ifs’. Someone took a chance on me.” He stared at Rhapsody, kissing her with his sweet words. She turned away; smiling, blushing, and it warmed his chest with pride. He focused back on the audience. “She saw past my title, my living arrangements, and saw me for me and that is what God does for us; that’s what a good, true friend will do for you, and your soul mate, too. I’m not trying to give you guys a sermon, just to tell you to appreciate the people in your life, the ones that love you and would do anything for you. The love of your life will believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself...Guys, thanks for believing in me and coming out tonight! Goodnight everyone!” Dane threw up his arm, waved goodbye and exited the stage.

A soft applause began, then became louder and louder until some were on their feet, whistling. He could hear it as he rounded the back of the club, and it was music to his ears...

~***~

“Mmmm hmmm.” Rhapsody scratched her taupe covered head wrap, digging her nails into the fabric to try to satisfy an unstoppable itch. She smiled at Dane as he rubbed her feet while they lazily enjoyed their Saturday afternoon together. The scent of chicken chili percolated from the stovetop, bubbling, the lid making a light, clanking noise every now and again. “So it’s just a six month lease?” She asked as she left to turn the food down, and return right back.

“Yeah, I will take you over there tomorrow.” He sighed. “Right now, they are painting it but let me tell you the perks. It is two bedrooms, the master is absolutely huge, exposed brick walls...really nice. It will suit me just fine.”

“Dane, your schedule is crazy now. I don’t know how you have time for all of this. Between school, your volunteer work, the local comedy clubs and your job at the crisis-center, I don’t have any idea how you even have time to sleep... Pass me a cookie.” She grinned as he paused, pulled an Oreo from a Ziploc bag, placed it between his lips and made her lean forward to get it. Before she escaped, he planted a kiss on her lips.

Over the last month, she’d watch the man she adored with all of her being come even more into himself, as if he’d been reborn. He’d moved out of the rectory and found a beautiful apartment in a historic district of Detroit to rent. He loved it so much; he made an offer knowing he couldn’t move in until the renovations were complete. Even through all of that, he invested time into their relationship though free time was sparse. Every moment he had, he used wisely and he ensured she was with him, at each opportunity. She stared at him as he applied more pressure on the soles of her feet. She loved how he lit up, discussing his plans for the future. Sometimes he truly didn’t know, but he enjoyed the journey of simply living...and trying to find out anyhow.

Every day was an adventure, and he thanked God many times daily in her presence, for allowing him the opportunity to go back to school and enter a doctorate/ PhD program so that he could teach philosophy and ethics as a professor. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he never expected it to be. The job at the crisis call center enabled him to still assist people, and he was darn good at it. From the person thinking of committing suicide, to the teenager upset about a broken heart, he handled them all the same—with empathy, compassion and understanding. 

He’s such a good person,
she kept thinking to herself, over and over. Those eyes of his were far more than just beautiful; they truly were windows to his soul. Crystal clear, blue—an open oasis for the entire world to see. He no longer hid from himself; he embraced every part of his being, the good bits and the parts still in need of development and fine-tuning. She’d never been treated so well in a relationship, and at times, she thought she may be dreaming. She could
trust
this man. There were no worries about who was calling him, if now that he had his ‘freedom wings’ he was also seeking other female companionship. She knew where his loyalty lied and where his heart trailed and she surely followed.

“...And so, the biggest bathroom has a tub
and
a shower. I wanted the tub for us.” He winked at her and gave a naughty grin. Smiling, she reached for her ringing cellphone.

“Hello? Oh, hi Jacob, so great to hear from you. No, I’m just here with Dane, hanging out. Cookin’ a little something for our lunch. What’s up?...What!...” Dane shot a look at her, raised a questioning eyebrow.

“What is it?” he whispered, gently gripping her baby toe.

Bringing her finger to her mouth, she gestured for him to wait.

“Of course! Yes...Yes! Okay, no problem. I will call you back. Thanks!” She disconnected the call, snatched her legs off of her boyfriend’s lap, lunged toward him and gripped him by the shoulders. “You aren’t going to believe this. I just got a call from an associate of mine, Jacob Reynolds, who works at the Mango.”

“The Mango? That little club on Braxton you sing at sometimes?”

“Yes!” she screamed, dashing to the kitchen again, forgetting she’d already turned off the food in her euphoric haste. She returned to the living room practically out of breath, a plastered grin on her face. “Their Friday night group, ‘Stairwell’, has been invited to perform in Paris in a few months and they want me to go with them! It is for an entire week, all paid! I’ve always wanted to go to Paris!”

“This is great news, baby.” He reached for her, hugging her tightly before releasing her, then placed his warm, soft lips on her cheek. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Go with me, and…do you know French? ’Cause I sure as hell don’t!” she said, giddy, wringing her hands together.

“Oui, Oui!” he teased, then took her in his grasp once more, this time kissing her so passionately, she went limp in his arms.

He groaned in her ear as he led her down onto the couch and positioned himself just so, between her thighs. Rhapsody closed her eyes and sighed as he ran his lips over hers, then cupped the side of her neck as he kissed down the front of her chin. She whimpered when he trailed his fingers down the side of her body, ever so slowly, bunching the fabric of her long white shirt. His soft hair brushed against her chin as he explored downward, downward, downward. Rhapsody looked toward the ceiling, happy as can be.

This is bliss...

And then she closed her eyes as his knuckles gripped the sides of her leggings, and a cool breeze soon touched her exposed skin. Panties gone too...thighs parted…

“Mmmm!” Raising her arms, she gripped the armrest behind her.

Soft lips on her wetness...he was taking her down...down...down....

And he wouldn’t stop, for several more hours...

~***~

“You really can’t say you’d blame her, I mean, come on Rhapsody!” Dane laughed and shook his head as he held her hand, their steps in sync through shaded paths flanked by trees into open land, under streams of warm sun.

The leaves were turning colors; vibrant green to star burst orange and ruby red. They made their way along the narrow walking trail to the lake, where a few ducks moved about, the place supremely serene.

“Well, I told you what happened. I told her to not talk to me anymore. Of course Mama intervened,” Rhapsody grimaced, “but I’ve refused her calls and I finally answered, figuring she was calling to apologize. Yeah, right!” she rolled her eyes, “Now that Mom told her I am going to
Paris, she wants to be buddy buddy again. Melody has a lot of nerve.”

“And this is a surprise, how? You know how she is,” he said in a pacifying tone. “And you keep expecting her to change or be different.”

Rhapsody shot him a look, then turned to contemplate the matter.” Well, you
did
...”

“I did what?” They stopped walking and faced each other, standing so closely that they were almost stepping atop of each other’s feet. Wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, he cinched her to him, fastening the woman so close so she’d never escape.

“
You
changed, is what I was saying. You became different.”

“No I didn’t. I just became what I
always
was, all along...”

She nodded and sucked her bottom lip, wrapping her hands around his neck, drawing further into him, as if craving the comfort. He grew warm as she pressed that plush mouth that he so adored onto his, and before long, their tongues danced together as she ran her fingers through the back of his hair.

“I love you so much,” he managed, when they finally pulled away from one another. “Do you know that?”

“I suspected it,” she teased as he took her hand and led her closer to the lake. “I love you too, Dane. Very much.”

They both faced the waving water, hearing the peaceful aquatic sounds, quietly watching two swans make their way across the rippling water from the slightly cool breeze. It was a perfect sixty-seven degrees. The sun still showed occasional favor, warming their frames beneath the shells of the light-weight jackets. After a while, he turned to her, took both of her hands in his, and got in front of her. She looked at him inquisitively.

“Rhapsody, I can’t c
omplain. I’m blessed and though things haven’t been easy, I really like my life, now. I enjoy it. I look forward to it each and every day, and you are the main reason why.”

He stared into her beautiful ebony eyes. Flashes of the songbird from high school entered into his mind...moving like in a worn reel of film. He saw her bopping past him, her dog-eared books cradled to her chest…

“You are the song in my heart, and I can’t imagine not waking up to it, and going to bed to the sweet music of your spirit each and every night. I need you, Rhapsody. So, because of that, I’ve come to an important decision. I just hope you feel the same way about it as I do,” he shrugged and looked over his shoulder, composed himself as a ball of emotion swelled in his chest, then back at her, “I have no doubt, that if you give me this chance, this honor, you won’t regret it.”

He dropped to one knee and dug in his jacket pocket, feeling a slight throbbing in his head as he battled a bit of scattered nerves. Pausing briefly, he closed his eyes to try to get through the moment. He heard her gasp as he opened his eyes. Though he didn’t look up at her face, he watched the breeze move her yoga pants to and fro, and her legs began to shake. The poor thing was rattling like an old
Plymouth with a dragging muffler. He glanced back up at her. The sun cut through the trees, blinding a part of her face, and illuminating the other, making her shine like a brand new coin. He removed the oval four carat diamond ring, set in platinum; the sparkle competed with the sun’s rays.

“So, I ask you,” he said, his voice cracked, his heart beating fast. “I ask you, if you would be my wife, Rhapsody. Will you marry me?”

“Yes, Dane...Oh my God! I wasn’t expecting this right now, I really wasn’t!” she cried as he got to his feet.

He took her left wrist and slid the ring on her finger, then linked hands with her as they continued their walk in silence—both speechless, caught up in the moment. They tightly embraced, and turned back toward the lake. The two swans floated past, side by side, drifting away until they could no longer be seen...

~***~

Rhapsody crossed her legs and gritted her teeth as she sat on the worn, yellow chair in her mother’s living room. The television was on, showing the evening news. Melody re-entered, her lips twisted and a look of disgust across her face as she nonchalantly handed Rhapsody a glass of punch. Taking a sip, Rhapsody glared at the woman as she slumped down in a chair across from her. Meanwhile, their mother was sound asleep in her bedroom.

“So,” Melody cast a discerning eye, “what’s this about?” She rolled her eyes as her wrist went limp. “When do you call a meeting over Mama’s house? You must feel important.” She smirked.

“You were late, so I already told her first and now I’m going to have to repeat myself. Trust me, if it weren’t for Mama, I wouldn’t be telling you a damn thing right now. She
asked
me to.”